Hey hey hey

It's Friday. I still owe the evil post about what happens when Von changes her fucking "relationship status" on teh facebook. BUT I don't feel like writing that today. So instead. I'm ordering a tshirt. (see yesterday's comments) AND pointing out the new person over there -------> There -------> in my links. Big Bald Bastard. Not sure where he came from, but I've been reading his stuff and he's funny. So, go there, read funny things. The snark resumes next week. You sleep under the blanket of snark which I provide, and you DARE question the manner in which I provide it?! You want the snark? You can't handle the snark!!! *** grrr!! grrr! grumble!! I tried to link BBB up in this post, and it didn't work!!! grumble grumble....grrr....****

Fridge note

How am I supposed to maintain my mood of glee, nay, elation, that I've decided to spew forth into this cubicle limbo today while being thwarted by LB1? She is being unpleasant. I think she wants to stab me in the eye with sharp objects. Her fuse is very very short today. Like stubby. Like one of those dogs that people cut off their tails when they are puppies stubby. All this On top of me celebrating her anniversary with the company with flowers and mini cupcakes. And I didn't get enough sleep last night. I meant to be home by 10. Not leave R's at 10:30. And I ate Pringles and peanut M&Ms for lunch. And I'm back to being spam when I comment on 3Bulls. Yeah, it's a great fucking day. Uh oh. There goes the glee and elation. It was giving me a rash anyway.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

• Yes, the damn river is green. But guess what? The damn river is ALWAYS GREEN. Whatever.
• Today being today means one sucky thing. That Shamrock Shakes - of which I've only had ONE this year - are going away. You'll be hard pressed to find one. Damn it.
• Instead of going out and drinking with a bunch of amateurs, I'm going to R's. He's cooking corned beef and cabbage. I don't like corned beef and cabbage. I made cupcakes. I'll be having cupcakes for dinner.
• I'm slightly irate because my guitar teacher is playing at one of my favorite bars today. But only until 6pm. Don't these people realize real people have real jobs, that make it difficult to get somewhere by 6pm? Damn musicians.
• I am cranky, thanks for noticing. But it's not like I'm hiding the fact that I have pms. Damn pms.
• I'm waiting, patiently, for Q101 to play ANY Irish song. Like, um, how about a little "Shipping up to Boston"? Or some Flogging Molly? Hell a little Black 47 "Bridie!" never killed anyone! Damn Q101.
• I'm mulling over a post about the ridiculous outpouring of b.s. that came my way when R and I changed our teh facebook relationship status to In a Relationship. It's going to be a good post. Scathing, but good. Stay tuned. Damn teh facebook.
• I've been practicing my chords and switching between them. I practiced for about 40 minutes on Monday, and about 40 minutes on Tuesday. My fingertips hurt, sting, and are a little numb. Damn guitar.
• Top of the mornin' to ya.......

Hello again

I had every intetion to write something yesterday. Being that I was home sick and all. Cough. Cough. Alas. Other things demanded my attention. Like that new fangled toy I got, the DVR. Ah, my life didn't know what it was missing before the DVR. I don't even use it properly. I forget that I can fast forward through commercials if it's something I've taped (DVRed?). I'm getting the hang of it. My Netflix is suffering at the hands of the DVR. But I did manage to watch XMen Origins: Wolverine over the weekend. Not bad. As a former XMen comic book nerd, I have to say they keep the films pretty dead on with the comics. I have no complaints there. And, lots of hot men in this movie. Went to the doctor yesterday. I have the coolest doctor ever. She's so laid back and awesome. We had this conversation: Me: "So. What if I didn't want to get weighed today?" "But you got weighed" "I know. Just saying, what if I didn't want to. What would you do?" "Well, why didn't you want to?" "I had a big lunch. And a big drinking and eating weekend. And oh, yeah, I have pms and I just feel bleh today." "You feel bleh?" "Not sick bleh, just pms bleh." "But you got weighed" "But what if I didn't want to?" "Do you want me to delete your weight for this time?" "Meh" "But you stayed the same. I'm ok with this. You can be ok with this." "Ok. Leave it." "Do you want some candy?" Followed by this conversation: Me: "So. Drinking and this blood pressure medicine...." "Not a problem" "The pharmacist said one drink is ok, but ......" "You can drink, it's fine." "Really? Ok but...." "Now if you drank a lot every day, I'd take you off the medicine." "Really?" "And we'd have a talk...." "I hear those 'talks' are also called 'interventions'" "Yep, that." "I don't drink THAT much." "Then fine. You can stay on the medication." "Ok, thanks Doctor" "Now do you want some candy for that pms?"

And so it goes. And so it goes.

It's Friday. Amen and hallelujah and all that good stuff. Recently, Shannon said to me "I don't understand how you do all of the things that you do" Neither do I. I used to be better about etching out some me time on the weekends, well that seems to have gone right out the window. Damn dating. Takes up me time. To be honest, I can't even blame it all on R. He's pretty much the most un-demanding person I've ever dated. It's me. I'm taking the blame on this one. Last night I even had a dream that I was late to guitar class. I had this dream on a Thursday night. Class is Saturday morning. WTF Of course, once again, I've booked myself all up. Here's what my weekend looks like: Tonight I'm head vol-ing the Battlefield Band/Liz Carroll show at Old Town - this is immediately after work. After that I'm going out with R. Tomorrow I've got guitar class at 11, followed by meeting Shannon at the Lillstreet Art Center for the Open House, followed by Chris' graduation dinner at 5:30, followed by maybe picking R up from work at 11. Sunday I have to clean the house, run errands, do laundry, and meet up with Shannon to help her with the wedding invitations. I'm getting tired. This year I've already added the board of directors thing and guitar classes to my impossibly ridiculous schedule. Something has got to go. I'm just not sure what. Right now German class is the front-runner, but I'm not 100% sure on that. Sigh. Being busy is busy.

How can you not laugh?

Sometimes, I laugh when I shouldn't. Like last night: I'm reading aloud in Deutsch Klasse....."blah blah blah......nachschicken" I stop then, "Nachschicken!" (pronounced properly) teacher looks up at me, puzzled look on her face. Then I say "Nachschicken!!!" (pronounced Knocks Chicken).** Then, I laugh. I laugh so much everyone else laughs. With me, mfers, not at me. Sometimes I don't laugh, out of fear: Once I attempted to learn the tin whistle. I say attempted because I was hot for teacher, and therefore all learning went out the window. Especially when he said things like this: "No. Von, blow harder. HARDER. There, just like that. Now blow more evenly. Bllllloooowwww slllooowwwweeeerrrr. Good. Perfect. Just like that." I didn't laugh, wanted to, and ended up spitting all over my tin whistle instead. I laughed about it for about 3 hours afterwards. **Nachschicken means forward. I know. Weird. Not even close, where you could guess. Not like I'll ever forget that word now though.

Two down

Chords A7 and D are now my bitches. Ok, not really, but I was working on the muscle memory side of it yesterday. I'm awesome that I even practiced. Hopefully I can do it again sometime before Saturday morning. Corey Haim died. Yes, this is a big deal to me, as I was going to marry him someday. Well, when he got clean, and made some $$, and of course I would have to triple-bag that. (Lamblets better not be reading this blog!!) But still. What girl my age didn't want one or both of the Coreys? I waffled between the two, but I think my heart pretty much belonged to Haim, especially after the whole icky wierd Feldman/Michael Jackson thing. The only grown up thing to do is stay up late tonight watching the DVD of "Dream a Little Dream" that Shannon bought for me years ago. Sigh. Perhaps I'll write him a song, one that only uses the A7 and D chords.

Surprise, Surprise

Things I found surprising this weekend:

• I didn't realize how much I missed something, until I got it again.
• Guitar is hard. Not just hard, but fucking hard. Ouch, there's a small blood blister on my finger.
• There is a song written by Hank Williams that has my name in it like three times.
• Reading chords was impossible for me, and I felt stupid (which I found surprising) BUT
• I have the greatest musician friends in the world, and the amount of outside of class help I'm going to get is amazing.
• I didn't hate TheBrother's TheFiance. As a matter of fact, I liked her. As much as snarky, evil, bitchy old me can like a 22 year old chick who got engaged 5 weeks after meeting TheBrother.
• I didn't hate seeing R two days in a row. Probably won't make a habit of it, but I didn't hate it.
• Even John Prine is annoying after three and 1/2 hours.
• I don't hate the band Elbow. I wish I did. I don't. The hipsters, they will not break me.
• We convinced a 44 year old women that Mennonites come from Menonia, a very small country between Germany and France.
• Receiving a gift from a co-worker was both surprising and a huge mood booster. Sure, she bought the earrings for herself, but never wore them, and thought of me when she stumbled across them. They are Phillips head nail heads. I adore them, put them on immediately. The gift and the thought were surprising.
• I don't believe how much I cry when I watch the Oscars. Me? A crier? For shame!!
• Home-made fried chicken, mashed potatoes, corn, gravy, salad and wine with a good friend was the very best way to beat the Sunday blues. (Not surprising, but the meal was soooo good, I had to mention it.) To visit this awesome cooking friend of mine, go here.

Here's to......me

Yep, I'm raising a glass.....to MYSELF.

Tomorrow I start my Guitar 1 class at Old Town.

I'm excited and nervous all at the same time. Got my official song book, got VonDad's wicked awesome guitar all newly strung and tuned and shined up and stuff.

Don't got? The ability to read music. Or follow directions very well.

But I have drive, determination, and guts.

And, I'm cute.

Betcha

Betcha didn't think I was going to post today, did ya? Well, I wasn't! But then I noticed I've posted every other day this week, so why not keep it going. Then, I realize I am having a shit-tastic day at work. And the office smells like poo. So, there you have it, your post for the day. Carry on my way-ward friends. There'll be peace when you are done.

I wanna laugh while the laughin' is easy

Many many (like, a bagillion) years ago, we made a video for my dad. This video (VHS, people!) was part of the gift of the cam-corder he was getting for Christmas. I pretty much hate the silly play we did, but at the end there was a photo montage of VonParents and all of us kiddies. This is the song I remember most and best from that montage. I'd never heard it before, but after we gave Dad the video, I remember watching the end over and over and over, obsessing over this song. Guess what? The lyrics are as relevant to my life now as they were in 1987, when I first heard it, and I'm sure they were relevant in 1973 when this tune first broke. Sometimes, at least when it comes to music, I'm an old soul. Enjoy: Life, so they say, is but a game and we let it slip away. Love, like the Autumn sun, should be dyin' but it's only just begun Like the twilight in the road up ahead, they don't see just where we're goin'. And all the secrets in the Universe, whisper in our ears And all the years will come and go, take us up, always up. We may never pass this way again. We may never pass this way again. We may never pass this way again. Dreams, so they say, are for the fools and they let 'em drift away. Peace, like the silent dove, should be flyin' but it's only just begun. Like Columbus in the olden days, we must gather all our courage. Sail our ships out on the open sea. Cast away our fears And all the years will come and go, and take us up, always up. We may never pass this way again. We may never pass this way again. We may never pass this way again. So I wanna laugh while the laughin' is easy. I wanna cry if it makes it worthwhile. We may never pass this way again, that's why I want it with you.' Cause, you make me feel like I'm more than a friend. Like I'm the journey and you're the journey's end. We may never pass this way again, that's why I want it with you, baby. We may never pass this way again. We may never pass this way again. We may never pass this way again. We may never pass this way again. guess what I'll be buying on iTunes later?

This post has no title....

I just realized that in the after glow of the blast that was at this place I never actually updated you on the other big meet and greet. TheBrother. Well. Gee. It went fine? I mean, wellish? Here's the back story: TheBrother is a mere 25 years young. Not even, he'll be 25 next week. Anyway - TheBrother is in loooooove with the girl he's been dating for six weeks. A mere couple of weeks longer than R and I have been seeing each other. But, like I said, they are in looooove. So, I get to R's place about 8:00 Friday night. I'm not even in the door two seconds when he says "TheBrother got engaged last night". Um. what? "Um, what?" "Not kidding. They're getting married." So, we had about two hours to eat pizza, drink beer, and discuss how vastly stupid TheBrother is. R askes me not to let on that I know about the engagement, we're going to see if TheBrother brings it up. Enter TheBrother "Hi!" "Hi!" blah blah blah 30 seconds later "It's too bad my fiance couldn't be here to meet you too!" and there it is I spent the better part of the next four hours watching R and TheBrother debate/discuss/bicker about the engagement. I didn't opine (yes, smart asses, it DID kill me to keep my mouth shut) mostly because it wasn't my place, and I was trying to make a good impression on TheBrother. R is pretty upset, rightfully so, but it's putting a real damper on things. No making out, too much time spent chatting with TheBrother. Plus, we spend a lot of time talking about TheBrother and this very big thing he's in the middle of. Time spent not getting to know each other. It's getting stale. We'll see. The highlights of the evening? TheBrother went to the Quickie Mart around 1am to get some more beer. He came back with a very cheap bottle of Champagne. He brought in three totally mismatched glasses of bubbly. Handing one to R, one to me, he said "Well, here's to me" he seemed sad when he said it, probably because of all the crap he was getting from R. I said "No. Here's to you! Love is lovely! Good for you and stuff!" and we drank Cheap champagne is sweet and tasty. The other highlight? I asked them to play me a song - they both play guitar - they played me "Peaceful Easy Feeling" by the Eagles. R sang. It was very nice. Time would be better spent charming and romancing me with song, I think. Upside - TheBrother approves of me. He even invited me to his birthday party this weekend. I'm going - I just have to meet this fiance.

One reason the lamblets are awesome....

This is what greeted me when I got to their house on Saturday.

How the hell do you draw a V on an etch-a-sketch?

People are teh awesome

I have to admit here to you all that I'm more than a little gleeful after the big meet and greet at Jennifer's house last night. The rumors are true, I did indeed make Grizzled spit beer once or twice, was charmed and delighted by the lamblets, and have a big ole girl crush on Jennifer herself. I may or may not have overstayed my welcome (it was a 5 + hour "come over for dinner" visit), but I was trying to figure out how to add one awesome dog and one adorable lamblet to the contents of my purse - I was just going to borrow them, I would have returned them eventually - so I might have been stalling. All joking aside. It's a wonderful thing when you meet someone (or in this case a bunch of someones) that you feel like you've known forever, and wish you have known forever. The laughs, snark, beer, chatter, and all around good time was effortless and endless. I see this as the beginning of a beautiful friendship. And You all know you're jealous.

An interesting step

Last Friday, either R or I (I honestly do not remember who) brought up teh Facebook. It was mentioned how we are not "friends" on there, and should maybe be. Both then admitted to having private pages that cannot be easily found. R said that he would send a friend request. Forgot about it, more or less for a few days. Wednesday night R texts that he will un-private his page so I can friend him. 'Why am I friending him?! He should be friending me, grumble grumble' Oh, that's right, this way my page stays private. Aha. The next day I friended him. This got me to thinking. Out of the gate, I had to go pick apart my profile, make sure things looked "presentable". Then I looked at my relationship status. Removed it. Added it back. Removed it. Added it back. Told myself: 'You are acting like an idiot. Are you single? Yes? Then f*ck it. You're thinking too much about this.' So I left it up. Single. Whatever. His page says the same thing, and I'm glad it does. I forced myself to stop thinking so much about it. If he digs around on my fb page, so be it. I pride myself on being who I am at all times - in life, here on my blog, on teh fb, always. So what he sees is what is there. Shouldn't be any surprises. So, is this a "step"? Not sure, really. Just mulling it over a little. He is the first person I've dated that I've been fb friends with. Again, all things had better stay nice and calm and laid back, or I am likely to bolt. The other thing I thought about is this: I will not, not now, likely not ever, tell any man I'm seeing about vonfornow. If hell should freeze over at some point and I have a wedding ring on my finger (and not a second before) only then would I tell the person that gave me that ring about it. It's mine. All mine. I am me here, but a little dialed up (to 11) and a smidge more snarky than I am likely to be in general. I truly do feel the things that I write about, but my filter is way more down on here than elsewhere. I learned a loooong time ago that not everyone has a thick skin, so therefore complete and utter honesty (in my brutal fashion) is not always the best route. So instead, I lay it all out here. For y'all. Because you know you want it. R knows that I comment on some blogs (I had to explain why I was going to "some stranger's house" on Saturday for dinner), but that's all. Tonight's date: Going to his apartment for dinner, beer, and The Meeting of the Brother. I'm a little off kilter about this, because the brother is the #1 person in R's life, so his opinion could have a lot of weight. The one thing I keep reminding myself is TheBrother is 25, and likely I could chew him up and spit him out. for those keeping track, this is the fifth date Have a great weekend. At the very least, tonight could provide me with some good snark I can throw your way.

You can't handle the snark

You want snark? Snark is what you'll get. Wedding snark, that is.

• I sat near the back of the church for two reasons. 1. With the groom pretending to be all Catholic and all, acting like a virgin, I didn't want to get hit by the flying debris when the lightning struck. 2. the priest presiding was the priest that interupted my first kiss by shouting "Whore! Whore! Whore!" and pointing his saintly finger in my face. Thanks, Fr. Cronin, you asshole. And thanks, Rico, for having Fr. Cronin perform your wedding mass and not giving me the heads up, you asshole.
• The bride chose not to have flowers because they allegedly wilt faster in the cold weather. Instead, she opted for feather dusters. Small black feather dusters for the bridesmaids, and a gigantic white feather duster ball for herself. Mmm.hmm. Ok.
• They danced to "At Last" for their first dance. 1. Trite, everyone does it, sigh, ho hum. 2. At Last what? Someone got him to settle down? At Last what people?
• Rico was smart enough to seat my ex's wife at a different table. Karma being what she is and the bitch ended up at my table. At the opposite end from me, but facing me. If looks could kill, both ways, it would have been ugly. Like her. **giggle** I had at least four people ask me what she was doing at my table. That's right, people, at least you know who is queen.
• I drunkenly shucked the strawberry that was hanging out on the edge of my champagne glass on the floor. (It was in my way). Laura slipped and fell two hours later. When asked on Monday if the floor was wet or something, she said "Remember that strawberry?" I had to giggle a little.
• When walking to the bar to get a drink (my 12th or 13th vodka/tonic/lime, I believe), ex grabbed my arm and asked "Are you hitting on B?" - this was in the middle of the dance floor - I yanked my arm back and spat back "What.is.it.to.you?!?!?!" loudly. NO no no, you do not get to ask that question.
• Being asked the above question made me consider hitting on B. However, by that point, remaining upright was slightly more important.
• I might have asked someone who's getting divorced if I can have my $$ back, since he hasn't even been married for 2 years, and I think that warrants a refund.
• I may or may not have told my friend's mother that while three of her children I adore, the other three are evil.
• I may or may not have looked at my friend during the meal, looked around the room, and said "But, it's just sooooo Italian."
• When I walked up the the head table after dinner to say hi to the happy couple, the bride introduced me to her maid of honor. I tried to be all grown up and polite, "Nice toast, lovely dress, blah blah blah." The bride said "Why weren't you at the bachlorette party?!? I had a dick for you.....this bitch is hard core." Nothing but class!
• The CD that was given as a favor sucks. I mean, it has "At Last" on it. I may use it as a coaster.

And also with you

I will review the wedding, later on. Right now, I want to write about the Mass. The wedding had a full Catholic Mass, of course, seeing as the groom went to Quigley Prep Seminary School. *side note: I did musicals at Quigley during high school, which is where I met this entire group of friends. Not ONE of them became a priest. And people wonder why Quigley closed down* Anyway, as I was raised properly, of course I went to the wedding Mass, as it's the ceremony that matters most, more than the party, right? So, we're at Mass. When I wasn't busy cackling and being evil critiquing the whole affair, I did pay some attention to the Mass itself. As mentioned the other day, I don't really go to Mass. I was an altar server in junior high, we were the first class that allowed girls to do that, so it was a pretty big deal. I worked regular Mass, Novenas, stations of the cross, funerals, weddings. I KNOW the Mass. I mean I know it. That's something you don't forget. The part I forgot I loved, and still love is the sign of peace. I mean, break it down "Peace be with you" "And also with you" "Peace.be.with.you" hug, kiss, shake hands with people you don't know. You are wishing someone Peace in their life, and accepting their wish for peace in yours. I know that I could use a LOT more peace in my life. Peace is not only of religion, but it's all encompassing. Bad day at work? Wish for peace and quiet. Bad argument with family? Work towards keeping the peace. Peace. The word itself is calming for me. I do need more peace. Peace in my family life, peace in my relationships, peace in my day to day. To have some of my best friends, the people who know me the best and love me anyway hug me and wish me Peace, that made the whole going to Mass thing worthwhile. That being said: Peace be with you. Each and every one of you. enough niceness. more snark to follow.

It's Friday, I'm (not!) in Love.....

NO, I have not had Dunkin Donuts. NO I have not purchased a breakfast item. NO I AM NOT LOVING MY NEW OATMEAL FUELED WEEKDAY MORNINGS. 38 days to go. Ahem. Tonight is Date #4. pick your God Damned mouths up off the floor. geesh We're going for dinner at the same little Irish place where we went for drinks on our first date. spare me the "awwws" he just wants to try the food there I had a little chat with Jesus. Jesus says I can eat meat for dinner tonight, if I want, in celebration of my fourth date with the same person! Jesus loves me for giving dude with a few strikes against me another chance. And another. And another......you get the idea. Tomorrow I'm going to a wedding. I don't give them very long. I'm thinking. 3.5 years. NO I AM NOT AN EVIL ANTI-MARRIAGE BITCH What I am is realistic. And I know the groom really well. So, I don't really know the bride, but that's because I know enough about the groom to not invest in any woman in his life. He's that friend. The one who shouldn't get married. Ever. I am excited about the wedding because I get to see my largest group of friends, all together in one place. I don't spend as much time as I'd like with this group anymore, so seeing them will be good. Plus, it's one wedding down. Four to go. Yes, this year. Yes, I'm that person this year. Sigh. I just dropped a cheeto in my bra. This is a fact. I'm also checking to see if you're paying attention. Sunday will be errand running, chore doing, then off to John and Toni's for some good food and better conversation. Probably conversation about their wedding. Which is in September. Which I'm campaigning to be in. And it's in Vegas.

Giving up

Yes, I still give things up for Lent. Yes, I also still try to remember to not eat meat on Fridays during Lent. I could give a shit if you do or don't follow Lenten traditions. At best, I am a lapsed Catholic. I don't really believe in going to Mass, and I am wholly against going on High Holy Days and pretending that's good enough. VonMom, I'm looking at you. BUT I am someone's Godmother. Someone old enough to ask what I'm giving up for Lent. She's one of the most important people in my life, so for her I *gulp* try to set a good Catholic example. SO This year? It's going to be a tough one people! I'm giving up Dunkin Doughnuts and everything they sell (good bye, bagel!) for the duration of Lent - C'mon Easter! Get here soon! I'm also giving up buying breakfast during the week. So, if it's not oatmeal or yogurt brought from home, I can't have it. Both of these are going to be big sacrifices. HUGE! But, ultimately, it'll be good for my diet and good for my wallet. But trust me, I will feel that loss! One day down, 39 to go.

Fat Tuesday

What does fat Tuesday mean to me? It means that the office wide Lenten diet mission begins, and there's money to be won. So, that means for today: A cup of french onion soup followed by 1/2 Cheeseburger 1/2 Lobster & Crab burger Some truffle fries Some homemade chips Some berries and vanilla creme at Capitol Grille. That's how I roll, people. Literally, I'm pretty sure I rolled back to the office after that lunch.

To get a read

I need to learn how to get a better read on people. I've got a bit of a conundrum. I should know better by now, though. For about 20 years now (I was very very very young!), I've been around a lot of musicians, actors, dancers, artists. I thought I had developed a good read on people, primarily artistic people. See, the thing about them is that while some a generally nice, warm, outgoing people, others are just pleasant enough to get you to come to their show/expo/whatever. I had been very good at separating the wheat from the chafe on this topic. Case in point, my very very good friend JB. I consider him my best guy friend. We've been friends for 17 years. In those 17 years he has been in many many bands. He's currently in three or four - I can't keep up. I do go to his shows when I can, because I enjoy the music, and his band mates are awesome and I like hanging out with them. JB is my friend, really and truly. Supporting his music is something I do, not something he expects of me. That being said. I have some other people around, acquaintances more than friends, that I can't get a good read on. They are mostly musicians and dancers. The problem could be that they have been artists for so long, that maybe they don't even know whether they are trolling for ticket sales or being open and friendly. I don't know how to figure it out. This is not a huge thing, just something that's been bouncing around my brain for a while.

An update, and a request

Here's the update: Man A: The shy one who digs me some - we're getting together tonight. No clue what we're doing, I think I'll leave that up to him. I'm tired. Exhausted really, after a late late night of partying with some wacky Germans. Weiberfastnacht (I think?) = crazy good times. Anyway. I'd be happy if we either have a couple of drinks, or hang out. Not too much. There better be some good kissing this time. Man B: The one that may be losing interest - I called him out via email. Still can't get a good read, but those that I've let read the email think he's not dis-interested, just super busy and not sure what he wants right now. Mmmm hmm. Because I look like the grrrrl that will sit sighing by the phone, waiting for him to decide he has time for me? Not.So.Much. So, out with Man A tonight. Here's the request: You all will be my Valentines. Okey dokey? Actually, this is not so much a request than a demand. The way you all zardoz the hell out of me, laugh with and at me, raise me up, keep me in line, care about me, care less about my flaws - you all are the perfect Valentines, so you are MINE ALL MINE ALL MINE!!!! Sending chalky pastel candy hearts your way. xoxo

Man troubles

I having some man trouble. So, no posts right now, while I work things out. Things like Man A likes me a lot. A lot a lot. But he's shy, among other strikes against him. He makes me sigh, in a not great way. Man B all of the sudden likes me not so much. Like ALL OF THE SUDDEN. As in 180 people. And he will be called out on it. Soon. He makes me sigh, in a sad way. I'm taking a mini break from this blog (like, this week) and a mini break from them. (like a day or two) Then I'll be back. Hopefully stronger than ever. Doesn't help with Sunday being Sunday and all.

Blessed and Lucky.

So, I haven't written a post in a while, huh? Well, was busy last week taking care of some zardoz business over someplace else. Who was #400? Oh, yeah, that was ME!!! *ahem* here's the damn post I had been working on before I got busy and distracted....... I got an email last Wednesday, one that I assumed had gone to the entire volunteer community of the Old Town School of Folk Music. It said: We could use some help selling merchandise for the Rosanne Cash show at the Harris Theater on Friday.....blah blah blah. I deleted it. My first thoughts were that I didn't want to stay downtown after work on Friday. Usually Fridays by 4:30 I'm so ready to head for the hills, or at least out of the Loop and closer to my own digs. Last Thursday morning I woke up, and Woke the F UP. This is Rosanne Cash. As in nominated for a Granny Rosanne Cash. "Seven Year Ache" Rosanne Cash. A legend in her own right, not to mention who her dad was..... 8:00 am I email Old Town's volunteer manager: You wouldn't happen to still need help for the Rosanne Cash, do you? sit and stew stew and sit sit and stew 3:00 pm response received: Von, sure, we'd love to have you help out. Here are your instructions..... Instructions that included how to get backstage, and how to get my ticket to the show! The show was amazing. Beyond amazing. Fantastic. Her voice, I can't even talk about it. Which is saying something for me, because as a general rule I dislike female singers. I like some, but they have to have some distinct character to their voices for me to like them at all. For example, I like Stevie Nicks, Natalie Merchant, Joan Jett, Mary Chapin Carpenter, and now Rosanne Cash. There has to be something extra there for female singers to hold my attentions. (I know, it's a weird thing, but it's my thing, whatever) So after the show we have to return the merch and count the $$. Where do we do this? Backstage. We get there (all access pass? yes? go right through) and there's no more than 10 people there. And Rosanne Cash. As a rule, I leave the artists alone. This is true of me at Old Town, Folk & Roots, anywhere where I'm doing something that has musicians involved. They've done their job, it's rest time, leave them alone. As we were getting ready to head out, one of the other people I was working with (D) was stalling. "What?" "I don't know what to do?" "What? You want to meet her, don't you?" "Kinda. Yes. Yes I do" "Well, go do it. This is your only chance, probably ever. She's up for a Grammy in two days. Do it. Just go over there." We were overheard by our "boss" for the evening, an awesome staffer at Old Town, A. She took us right over to Rosanne and introduced us all. Rosanne was one of those genuinely warm people. You know the ones - she took your hand to shake it in both of hers. She leaned in to talk, made eye contact, touched your arm when she thanked us for helping out. I told her she was fantastic. Because she was. On stage, in person, just all around. After the big meeting, we headed out. We were in Millennium Park, and it was snowing. It wasn't cold cold, there was no wind. It was 11:00 at night, so there weren't really any other people around. The city was all clean and twinkly and quiet, just beautiful. I stopped walking (as I sometimes do) and just looked all around me, taking it all in, hoping to remember the entire evening forever. As I was getting in the cab, I thought 'Blessed and lucky. Some people, many people, would never even have a chance to have this experience. 1,000 people at that concert tonight would have paid big bucks to meet her. I truly am a very lucky girl.' I think the part of me that is finally growing up can see that I do have really amazing experiences in my life, and I need to stop taking them for granted. ** Side note. I highly, HIGHLY recommend you go and buy Rosanne's new album "The List", which is based on a list of songs her dad gave to her when she was 17 or 18. Amazing. With guest artists Bruce Springsteen, Elvis Costello, and others!**

Fridge Note

To: 3Bulls From: Vonfornow Dudes - I'd love to post many many comments over dere at your bloggy blog, BUT It keeps telling me that I'm basically SPAM, and doesn't want my comments. PLEASE FIX. okthanksbye

In case I end up a Lifetime cautionary tale:

Dear Readers, I'm going on a "daaate" tonight. I use the word daaaate because it's not really a date. I'm meeting one of the Plenty of Fish people for a drink. NO, it's not the married one. I've cut married guy loose, and I think he finally took the hint. This guy is a transplant from New Jersey. We haven't talked on the phone, but we've texted. He's funny. He thinks I'm "awesome" We'll see. He already has one major strike against him - No car. This is a problem and potential deal breaker. You all know how much I hate driving, so my future ex-husband needs to a) have a car and b) be willing to drive me all over the damn place - like, say Milwaukee? - I'm actually not really excited about it. There's another guy that I think I will ultimately like much better (he's an author!). But for karma's sake, I'm going to meet Rob. Got that? His name is Rob. I met him on Plenty of Fish. He's from New Jersey. So if I end up MIA or dead (not cooly zombie-fied, just dead) or something - you've got some intel for teh police. kthanksbye **plus, I have a much more important first meeting on Saturday that I'd really like to be alive for**

Remember?

Remember a whillllllle ago I wrote a post about the twins that I wanted to get back in touch with? M & B? Well, through internet stalking and teh Facebookz I've found them both, and we keep in touch and stuff. Just found out on B's FB page that M is in Haiti. And he's in the hospital. Yeah, um, NO, he's not a doctor. He's a college professor. B says that he was taken to the hosiptal for "something minor". Well, it's Haiti, so I'm guessing it's not that minor, and I'm worried what kind of care he's getting. Please keep him in your thoughts/prayers/whatever.

The weekend

Sitting here, watching me some football. "Are you ready for some foooootttbaaaaaalll!!!" Every time. I do that every time I watch football. So, here's my weekend. Friday I volunteered at Trad Fest at Old Town. It was awesome. It's always awesome. It's this annual event they have. It's a big gigantic open house thing. There's a pot luck dinner, and live bands, and song circles, and jams, and Cajun dancing, and square dancing. It's a ridiculous good time. I'm grateful I got to be there. I worked the door, so collected money, kept track of the will call and comp lists, stuff like that. Worked with Dierdre, and she's pretty awesome. We met some adorable gays named Harry and Benji. They were so fabulous I wanted them to adopt me right away. Saturday was kinda crap. I went to DANK to register the adult students for their new semester. Nice for all but one of the entire class to not show up this week. C'mon people, 8am on a Saturday? And now I have to do it again!?!? They are going to get a very stern email from me. Better be there next week, grumble grumble. After that I had to go get a new tire. Sigh. VonMOm would tell you it's all my fault, and I'm a shitty driver, blah blah blah. The fact of the matter is that my tires are about 7 years old, and well, they're old. So that evily high curb I clipped might not have cashed my tire if the darn things weren't so old. Like I have $$ for a new tire. Went home and napped after that. I ended up napping too long, and had no get-up-and-go after that. I ended up staying home and watching really bad television. I mean really bad. I mean "The Pregnancy Pact" on Lifetime bad. I went to bed super early just because I was bored. This morning I was at the grocery store by 8:30. It was awesome. It was like my own private grocery store. Went to book club this afternoon. Awesome. Fantastic book, great book club gals, good bar, good beer. Sitting here, watching football. I'm a girl, so it's basically like this "I don't like that Manning guy. I hope his team loses" No such luck. Now, it's "I don't like Brett Favre. I hope his team loses." Annnnd. It's Sunday.

They certainly are

I went to a Catholic, all girls high school. I don't talk about it much. Mostly because it was forever ago, but also because I don't think there's much to write about there. However. There was one thing my senior year that was awesome, and affects me to this day. Some time during the second half of my senior year, we got to vote on a class song. The way it was explained to us was that this song was going to be for us. It would be ours right there in that moment of graduating high school, and it would be ours forever after. At the time of the vote, I thought a few things: I don't really give a shit I do like that one song, but there's no way it'll win How much will I really think about this years from now? Well, I was wrong - The song that won was "These are days" by the 10,000 Maniacs, which was the song I wanted to win. Not only was Natalie Merchants voice fantastic, the words were just so appropriate to that time. It's like it was written just for us. I heard that song the other day while I was driving to Old Town. I blasted it, and sang every sing word. Surprising even myself, I teared up a little. I realized that while those lyrics were appropriate my senior year, they are still appropriate today. Not only are they appropriate, but they have a way of calming me and making me happy at the same time. I realized that the promise of what the present is, and what the future can be exists every day. I just have to remember to look for it. It's pretty awesome that I can claim this song as mine. These are days you'll remember Never before, and never since, I promise Will the whole world be warm as this And as you'll feel it You'll know it's true That you -you are blessed and lucky It's true - that you Are touched by something That will grow and bloom in you These are days you'll remember When May is rushing over you With desire to be part of the miracles You see in every hour You'll know it's true That you are blessed and lucky It's true - that you Are touched by something That will grow and bloom in you These are days These are the days That you might fill with laughter Until you break These days you might feel a shaft of light Make its way across your face And when you do You'll know - how it was Meant to be See the signs and know their meaning You'll know - how it was Meant to be Hear the signs and know they're speaking To you To you *happy weekend to you*

annnnnnd

Thanks very much. I giggled. A lot. And I even laughed. Maybe guffawed a bit. I turned on my computer way more than I thought I would over the weekend. My mood is much improved. Thanks again. NOW back to the snark and bitchiness that is usually me.

I could be wrong

But I think the Zardoz is over. And the bloggy blog survived it. Now, to add Smut Clyde, and Mandos, and 3Bulls (which I can't believe I didn't already have!). to my blog-roll (yep, I am that easy) **word verf back on - that was a temporary thing**

Random thoughts on a drizzly Friday

Things I'm thinking about on this day before the three day weekend: (in no particular order, and posted as randomly as they float around in my brainz)

• Spiders and gross fish guts (thanks Jennifer and Fish!) are gross
• Is phone sex cheating?
• I like The Samples. What ever happened to them? They made some smooth tunes
• Thinking of quitting Plenty of Fish now that I know -for a fact - that one of the guys I'm talking to is TOTALLY MARRIED
• Above mentioned guy is a total fucker
• I'm extremely sleep deprived. I maybe can sleep in on Monday. That would be good - Monday. Yep, sleeping on Monday.
• How sleep deprived to I have to get before I get some clarity?
• If I took one letter out of my first name, and said it backwards, it would be pronounced Envy. I consider this to be awesome
• I can't believe I've never thought of the above before.
• If a tree falls in the woods....crap....I can't remember the rest of that phrase, so I guess it's irrelevant.
• I like cheese
• I'm having an incredibly shitty day at work. If I get chucked under the bus one more time, I may not get up again
• Popcorn for lunch sounds pretty good right about now
• Will that one guy text me today?
• Should I give that other guy my number, in case he wants to text me?
• How can I get that third guy to stop texting me?
• It's only life
• I still hate the person that invented speakerphones. I also hate overtly loud talkers, and uptalkers
• I hope Crush-man comes to Stammtisch tonight. That would rock
• I wonder what I did to Chris this time. Jumping into that fire on Sunday when I just show up at her house to give her and Lizzie presents.
• *****static**************

Hope you enjoyed that little glimpse. Have a great weekend, see you on the flip-side.

Don't do anything I wouldn't do, but keep in mind, there's not much I wouldn't do.....

C is for.....

Now what starts with the letter "C"?" Cookie" starts with "C"!Let's think of other things that starts with "C"! Uh. . .Uh. . . Who cares about da other things?!( CHORUS)x2"C" is for Cookie that's good enough for me,"C" is for cookie that's good enough for me,"C" is for cookie that's good enough for me,Oh! cookie, cookie, cookie starts with "C"! Hey, You know what? A round cookie with one bite out of it looks like a "C" A round donut with one bite out of it also looks like a "C" but it is not as good as a cookieOh, and the moon sometimes looks like a "C" but you can't eat that So...(CHORUS)Cookie Cookie Cookie Starts with "C"Cookie Cookie Cookie Starts with "C"C is for cookie, that's good enough for me! COOKIE COOKIE COOKIE STARTS WITH C!!!!!

Whining

Rarely am I a whiny little brat. Bitchy? Yes, and frequently, but whiny? Noooo. Well, today I am a whiny little brat. I hurt my "good" knee a few days ago. I don't even know what I did to it. I'm guessing that last Thursday when I had to stand on the Metra the whole way downtown might have been the problem. Now my right knee has no inclination to bend. It also kept me up all night last night, with pain just about everywhere. Therefore: me = whining. There are days (few, though) that I wish I lived with someone, anyone else, so I had someone to help me out. I asked the dust bunnies if they would lend a sista a hand, they were having none of it. I can only take Tylenol, so I choose to take nothing, and suffer through it. Monday laughs at me.

Snowing

So, yep, it's snowing. It does that. Here. In the Midwest. In Chicago specifically. Not only is the snow annoying.... BUT even more annoying?? The people on the facebook that have status updates berating the people that are complaining about the snow. Shut.Up. You are just as annoying as the people complaining. BECAUSE YOU ARE ALSO COMPLAINING. Just not about the snow. We're looking at a foot or so of the white fluffy stuff. I have a) a 4 wheel drive little SUV thingy and b) a garage to park it in. Hence and therefore, I'm not complaining about the snow. so there

The best parts of my 10 day staycation (voncation? kidding. go see MenD's comments):

• Saw all of my most favorite people. This includes: Laura, Shannon, TheMarty, Chris, Lizzie, Victor, John, Toni, Jessica, Tim, Doc, Caroline, the J5, lots and lots of all of my favorite people.
• Watched the most recent season of "Lost". I'm all caught up and looking forward to 2/2/10!
• Purchased and watched season 1 of "Glee". I'm a gleek. I wish I could belt out a song or two at random too. Might try this. At work. Like maybe some "Working for the weekend" on Friday afternoon. I'm no Rachel, but I can hang. (or at least carry a tune)
• Started and finished MenD's scarf. It's taking me a lot less time to make an awesome scarf, I still enjoy the process, and I'm getting better! Maybe something new next, like a hat? Nah, I'll stick to scarves for a while. I crochet, I do not knit - mix them up and I will stab you with a crochet hook, got it?
• Took naps. Lots of naps. Nearly every day. And I was ok with it. Work is h a r d.
• Finished reading "The Post Birthday World" (the jury is out, gotta chat about it with my friend that lent it to me).
• Also read "The Glass Castle" in ONE DAY. The book was amazing. Have I ever mentioned I'm slightly obsessed with the Appalachian poor?
• Was super-duper nice to VonMom on numerous occasions, which were acknowledged and appreciated.
• Had a wicked wild time at FunTuesday - which can only be had at Daily, and only with Shannon and TheMarty. Also had at FunTuesday (by me): 3 pints Hoegaarten, 3 Jameson shots, 2 Washington Apple shots, 1 grape "penalty shot" (for yawning), 1 shot of Petron. Yes, you may puke now. Surprisingly, I didn't.
• Discovered two new songs that are on repeat on my iPod (and I'm not ashamed!) "Snuff" by Slipknot - fucking ridiculous how much I love this song. AND. "Need you now" by Lady Antebellum - not a country fan, but this song rips my heart right out of my chest, every time. Slipknot and Lady Antebellum in the same sentence? I'm nothing if not musically eclectic.
• Met some super awesome new womenfriends at Chickmas last night. It was a great night, and I was so glad to be invited!
• Lost about 90 minutes in a drunken red wine haze on Christmas Eve, but managed to control myself and A) No one was any the wiser to my debauchery and B) I didn't piss anyone off and C) no Christmas morning hangover! Thanks Step-bros for bringing expensive wine that didn't make me puke in my stocking Christmas morning.
• Surprise box of homemade awesome from Boston Lauren. While it made me pine for my Boston folks, I cheered myself up with the choc chip cookies, peppermint bark, and fudge.
• Well thought out gifts trumped all this year. I was lucky enough to get two: from TheGodmother, who is someone I adore - a pair of perfect earrings. Exactly what I was looking for. She picked them out on her own, not knowing I was in the market for tasteful yet awesome earrings for everyday. She rocks. Followed by gift from Laura: a movie collection. Not just any movie collection, no - the Jim Henson Fantasy Collection. As in Labyrinth, The Dark Crystal, and MirrorMask. So suited to the me that is really me that Laura knows better than almost anyone else.
• Manis/pedis and Red Lobster with VonSis and Sil1x. I was exhausted and hung over, and it was exactly what I needed. Pretty red nails make the winter blues go away.

A Christmas Story

Happy Monday. Here is the story that Tante Reni sent to VonMom via email. We figure the year she's referring to was about 1948. Please keep in mind that English is her second language, so forgive any spelling or grammar errors, as I chose to not edit the story, but just to paste it here as written. Enjoy. "Had a memory flash of a christmas when i was 17, This christmas was something that seems to come back over again and gives me a warm feeling. This christmas was one completely unplanned and a spur of the moment thing.The best christmas ever. it was late november or early December during the Blokade in Berlin.Since we only had gas and electricity for 2 hours during the day and 2 hours during the night , we could not cook dinner and had to go to a soup kitchen set up in a church hall not far from our house. Anita , my bosom buddy and I both went to get some soup for our families.Standing in line on this cold, grey noon , we saw a very elderly lady approaching the line and let her ahead of us in line.She wore no gloves and had her feet wrapped in rags, she wore no shoes.her hands were turning blue.Both Anita and I were whispering how sorry we felt for her predicament .Then an idea hit me, why not help her and make a christmas for her.We followed her at a distance to detect where she lived, knowing that we very likely otherwise would never find her again.Then both of us returned to my home and made concrete plans what in reality we could possibly do for her to lighten her burden.She looked so frail and alone.She needed shoes, gloves and possibly some food that could not be obtained with food stamps.A big order understanding that during that period of time there were no manufacturers in production of anything.This ment we had to find any kind of material we needed, by other means.I found an old sweater that we unraveled and stretched over a cardboard to straighten the wool out for knitting.i started on gloves right away.Anita could not knit.We searched for something solid to create soles for shoes , and came up with old bicycle tires.An old blanket from somewhere became the top, on of my childhood muffs of rabbit fur became the liner.I had an idea of patterns , learned from making dolls clothes.Both Anita and I stitched and sewed with an upholstery needle to get the shoes done.It turned out warm soft and with the bicycle tires as soles, quite sturdy.Then we both used our own allowance to start bartering on the black-market for sugar , coffee and butter.A pound of each.We then had to get her also a christmas tree, which we purchased from a florist. A tiny tree in a pot. On the 24th in the afternoon we set out with all of our goodies completed to her home hoping she would be at the place we thought she lived.We had the little tree decorated with some tinsel a few tiny candles and few mini balls. Both of us very excited marched to her house , rang the bell and when she opened the door we also were speachless. We gave her all of our goodies her eyes were wide in surprise, we just could say :Merry christmas turned around and left running.Never knew her name and that was not important anyway, but the feeling that surged through both of us was overwhelming joy.We had done it ! To this day i still see this little old lady against the dark hall. By now it was pitch dark, but for us we where in the glow of giving from the heart.My best ever christmas.And the best part is it returns to me every year and gives me again a warm surge of satisfaction and joy.It was such a dark time in history and yet we glowed. " True or enhanced, I hope this story gives you the same warm fuzzies it gave me. Happy Holidays to you, and yours, and theirs, and those other peoples. Ho, Ho, and Ho.

A gift given, to be passed on

Yesterday, VonMom forwarded an email to my sister and I that she received from her sister, Renata. Renata is nearly 80, and she's in the process of writing her life story. She's got a very interesting tale to tell, as she grew up in Berlin during WWII. In the email that VonMom forwarded was one of Reni's memories, which she titled her favorite Christmas ever. I asked VonMom if I could repost the story to my blog. She said that I could, and I intend to do that tomorrow. After reading and re-reading the story, I asked my mother if she felt all of it was true. She sighed, and chuckled, then said "Well, Von, it's how she remembers it. So most of it is probably true." Let's keep that in mind tomorrow when you read it. The main point of the story is about giving. And not gifts to loved ones, but a gift to a complete stranger. It got me to thinking. My parents are and always have been quiet givers. Watching them do good things for others while not making a big show of it might have inspired me. I'm not going to go into specifics, because in this I will not look for pats on the back, or atta-girls, but for the past 10 or so years I've been quietly giving myself. Much like Tante Reni, who I rarely see and seldom talk to, I look for a need and I do what I can to fill it. Her story made me feel that even though she's quite a bit older than my mom, and thousands of miles away, and from a truly different time and place, that she's my family. We're very much alike in some understated, blink-and-you'll-miss-them ways. Her story makes me finally feel in the spirit this season. I hope in some way that you either have or will give this season, to someone in need, or a group of people you admire. All I ask is you do it quietly. And then be proud of yourself.

This could get interesting.

Things could get interesting over at the old facebook. One of my very most super duper pet peeves is when people are repeatedly, unending vague and/or cryptic in their status posts (AG - I AM, in part, talking about you). I hate it. Either say what you have to say or don't. Don't make me ask - Gee, what's going on? or Gee, what's wrong? or Oh my! What's up with that? I don't care. Or I did care, but your cancer of cryptic turned me off. SO Instead of going to each and every offenders' pages and virtually punching them in the face, I'm doing something else. I'm being blazingly transparent with my status updates. I'm making a point. They may suck. They may be boring. But they will be point blank exactly what I'm doing, or feeling or whatever in that moment. I hope some of the people take the hint.

Uh buh bye

I would like to request the banishment of the phrase "It is what it is". I think as of 12/31/2009 11:59:59 we should all stop using that phrase. I've heard it used by each of my friends who lost their jobs this year, also in regards to deaths in families that I care about. When my car breaks down, when your car breaks down, when it rains/snows/is hot/cold/tepid/chilly. ENOUGH. What a defeatist horrible statement. It should always be accompanied by a dramatic sigh and the swiping of one's brow with the back of one's hand. Please. Please help me in my campaign to abolish this phrase from our daily vernacular. And if it does get carried into 2010? Well, it is what it is. Sigh.

I smell like potato pancakes

But the warm fuzzy in my belly from eating said pancakes, and bratwurst and some cocoa make it all ok. God bless the ChristKindle Markt in Daley Plaza. And woo-hoo for my parents and sibling coming downtown to have lunch with me there. And cha-ching to the candy shoppe who has my $$$, and I have their cola gummies, and cherry gummies, and chocolate santas, and wafer kuchens, and kinder eggs...... Man, I love german stuff.

Reason # 467

Why do I love SIL1X so much? Let me count the ways...... but here's reason # 467: Got a text message from her on Friday: 'can you stop by on your way home from work? I have something for you.' my response: 'sorry, I'm already at Old Town. ooooh what have you got for me?' her response: 'Fun Dip' See, not only does she read my blog, she gets me candy just because I said I want candy in my blog.

Awww, kids

Had the iPod on shuffle today while doing some chores, and suddenly a Fall Out Boy song came on. I don't remember which song it was, but it reminded me of a story. It's Chicago. Pretty much everyone between the ages of 25 and 35 has a Fall Out Boy story. Don't worry. I'm not going to the the I know them thing. I don't know them, nor do I care. But. I do have a story about me and them. Many many years ago I was at a show for my friends' band. It was at this place where it was a mexican taco counter in the front, and a bar in the back that let bands play. It was called Big Horse Lounge. AWESOME. Anyway. It was winter. Bitter-ass cold. It hadn't been snowing when I got there, but as my friends' were packing up their gear, it was really coming down. One of those horrible storms that pretty much had the city all tied up. Big Horse is somewhere more in the city. I don't remember what neighborhood, but it was a pretty busy area. I was standing outside the bar having a cigarette waiting for my friends. A car pulled up and this dude jumped out and walked right up to me. "Hi!" "Hiiiii" (that's me, being uncertain and trying to be standoffish) This dude had to be a teenager, and I pegged him for being suburban right out of the gate. "Hey, so my band has gotten a show at -------- Bar, and we need a bunch of people there. If we get a lot of people there, then maybe we'll get another show there..." He kinda went on and on and on. He was preaching to the choir. I know of which bar he spoke, I'd been there many times. I even knew how they operated. I knew that it's a big(ish) deal to play there, and all of the rest....... ".....so I'm going to hang some flyers in there and here's a flyer you can have." "? Oh, yeah. Sure. Ok." But something about the kid struck me. He was so excited and eager and into it. In that moment that was the most important thing in his life. He had driven in from somewhere (again, suburbia) in a big storm to get these flyers out and talk to some music fans. He was freezing (too cool to button his coat, hat more stylish than warm, you know, teendress) but was approaching anyone he could and grinning while asking if he could hang some flyers. He went right up to some scary looking people and started chatting them up. He had it. IT. On his way back to his car, he stopped by me again. "So you should come. We're pretty good. Well, we don't suck. It's something new. You'll like it. You should come to the show." "Um, yeah, ok maybe." I really didn't know how to read this kid, so I wasn't my usual warm sunshiny self. After he hopped back in his car and drove off down the street to the next "live music here" dive bar, I watched him go. I admit, I forgot all about the show, and didn't go. I've thought about him over the years, whenever I go see friends' bands in the winters. Flash forward a bunch of years...... I'm working at the Teen Center. My kids like to bring me new music all the time. They give me this new CD "From Under the Cork Tree". At first, I was meh. Then I gave it another listen. Witty. Lyrics and song titles? Witty. Songs. Ok, not half bad - and I would clean my house to it. I keep it in rotation (this is before iPods, people) Slowly we as a people started hearing more about this it band, Fall Out Boy. Hm, ok, I have their CD not bad. Local boys make good? Ok. I didn't see them or pay any attention as I was not 15, nor a cougar, so I didn't care much what they looked like. Then they blew the hell up. You couldn't turn around without seeing that Pete Wentz turd everywhere. Finally there was some thing somewhere that showed the whole band. I did a double/triple/quadruple take. Patrick Stump. The kid, outside Big Horse. Holy Shit. He still had it. Quite a bit of IT. But the glimmer of glee seemed to be replaced by the you think you know, but you really don't have a clue half-smirk, which was a little sad.

I had to

I just had to.

I want it! (times 2)

Seen on CTA bus last night on my way home: Guy wearing a button that says "It's OK to say Merry Christmas to me!" Yep, I want it. Seen in Ogilivie train station last night on my way home: Old-boys-club type 60+ dude with very expensive suit and coat eating a Fun Dip, grinning like a school boy and I even heard a little "yummmm". Yep, I want Fun Dip. AND I wanted to give old dude a big hug. My commute? Not so boring when I'm paying attention to those around me.

I am.....

You're Ulysses! by James Joyce Most people are convinced that you don't make any sense, but compared to what else you could say, what you're saying now makes tons of sense. What people do understand about you is your vulgarity, which has convinced people that you are at once brilliant and repugnant. Meanwhile you are content to wander around aimlessly, taking in the sights and sounds of the city. What you see is vast, almost limitless, and brings you additional fame. When no one is looking, you dream of being a Greek folk hero **There you have it - I am brilliant and repugnant. *** And thanks, everyone, for the fun little quiz!!

Me thinks I'm being referred to

"When I prayed that day, and what I have continued to meditate on since, is the hope that we don't lose the ability to make contact, to ask for love, to ask for healing, to ask for someone to be with us lest we grow so comfortable with alone we forget what together feels like and how powerful touch can be." I stole (borrowed, I prefer borrowed) the above quote from my eldest step-sister's blog. I keep an eye on her blog, though I don't think she knows it. Also, the J5 do NOT read my blog. As far as I know. I don't talk about it, I've never mentioned it. How can I write about them if they know about it? So I pilfered the above from her blog to share here with you all. I feel that she is talking about me. I may have mentioned (in error, I should have never mentioned it!) that I had teared up a little while watching the Macy's parade. C'mon people! Who doesn't?! and not to mention the fact that I had pms and was kinda emotional that day anyway?? I think that too many people in my family and even some of my close friends feel that something is going on with me. IT ISN'T. Nothing, as in No Thing. By my own design, I am busy really freakin' busy. Intentional or not, it's a fact. Therefore I don't have time to decorate. I do have time to send out cards (which I did), wash my holiday sheets and comforter and throw those on the bed (which I did, and yes, I'm sleeping with Santa bitches), I will make time to shop. What is not happening is me sitting around wallowing and keening and curling up like that Cymbalta commercial. Trust me, I know how powerful touch can be, but the kind I'm looking for is NOT the kind that can be supplied by family, ya know what I mean?! And What is wrong with growing comfortable with what alone feels like? I am fine with alone. I like alone. Being the youngest twice over (youngest between VonSis and I, and also youngest between the J5 and VonSis and I) I had a LOT of not alone time the first 25 years of my life. For the past number of years I've been down-right gleeful to have my little apartment to come home to A L O N E. I like to eat cereal for dinner, ice cream before bed. I like to blast my stereo - one day ManOWar, the next Yanni, and not have to answer to anyone. I LIKE ALONE. Ultimately, yes, I see myself married and hence Not Alone, but looking at the now and at the near future, I don't have a problem with the comfort of alone. And it really bothers me that someone else does, on my behalf.

And not....

You know what I am not thankful for? Waking up at 3:30 am to drive VonSis to train station then going home thinking 'Oh no problem I will fall right back to sleep' only to not fall back asleep until 5:30 then having to get up at 6:15 to go to work. Not thankful for that, not at all. Yes, I know above is run-on sentence but oh did I mention I don't do caffeine, so I'll just have to suck up the tired and write run on sentences?!?!?

Giving Thanks (again)

Pretty much the easiest blog post to write. It's almost like cat vacuuming. What I'm thankful for this year:

• I got some good news from the doctor today. I had been worried for a few months about some test results. Turns out that a resident had given me some incorrect information and that I'm actually doing ok. I'm thankful for my relative health and well being. And there's nothing wrong with the healthier habits I've begun, so I'm not too mad at that resident.
• I'm thankful for my jobs. Every day I still feel like the luckiest person in the world with my full time job. I'm beyond thrilled that Old Town has given me a part time job that I can't wait to really get cracking at, even if it is only once a month. I do still love my job at DANK, even though I'll be losing the paid part of it in January when my term with the board begins.
• I'm thankful for my quirky, weird, lovely family. I love that we are unique and awesome and at the very least understanding of each other.
• I'm perpetually and eternally thankful for my friends. One of them has asked me to write a post for her, and I will, probably in December. I'm thankful for her, and every other one of my very best friends. My friends are my best assets, and my best qualities. They make me a better person, each and every day. I'm so grateful to have so many wicked awesome people in my life.
• I'm still thankful to the Michigan Ave Apple store - I swear, I'm going to take you all behind the bleachers and make out with you. Love the mad customer service skills you threw my way.
• I'm thankful to have not one but two warm loving places to go on Thanksgiving - see above friends and family mentions
• Also thankful for my sweet little apartment.
• And can't forget music, forever time!, always forever thankful for music (and certain bloggers who send me new and wonderful tunes to check out!)

Ok. That's enough schmoop for now.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours and theirs and those other peoples.

Two things

1. I strongly dislike it when people wear their scarf on the outside of their coat. Half assedly tied about the neck area. What does this do for you? Why are you showing off your ugly scarf? Scarves are for warmth - so they should be inside the coat, keeping your precious neck/chest/front parts warm. 2. If I changed my blog name to AA Von for Now, would I then be more at the top of others' blog rolls than at the bottom? I'm getting a complex. Just became aware I'm using italics oddly today. It's like a bad Grover skit from Sesame Muppet Street Show - like the one where he runs up to the camera and yells "Near!" then runs back away and yells "Far!". Do that in your mind when you read the above italicized words: "Outside!" runrunrunrun "Inside!" runrunrun "Top!" runrunrun "Bottom!" runrunrun