Friday Fun Fridgenote

Dear BlogRoll: (aka, "Friends, Lovers, and those I cuddle with) I want to know. Which are you? Are you: A Friend? A lover? Or one I cuddle with? And/Or Which one would you like to be? a little frivolity on a Friday never hurt anyone ;)

Stupid wacko

**First off, I know I said I was on hiatus, but a) I had to write a VonMom bday post and 2) I have to tell you all this story!!** So, last night was the first class of guitar 2. On the first night of every session, all guitar classes meet in the concert hall for some announcements and then you all get split into your classes and off you go. Here's what happened last night, night one of my Guitar 2. Of course, I was early. Like early early. I was the first person in the concert hall. I sat my happy ass down and vegged out. Slowly, people start to come in. While there was still only a handful of us, I hear the following exchange behind me. WhackJob: You know, I believe all guitars have souls. Mine is second hand, so it has a very old soul. NormalDude: Ok. WhackJob: Picks too. Picks have souls. NormalDude: Ok. WJ: I've been playing forever. Never had a lesson, but I'm going to take like intermediate and stuff. V(in her mind): Mmm hmmm. Good luck with that. WhackJOb. **at this point, I text the above guitar/soul exchange to a few friends** 8:00. Everyone's in the hall. I see WJ approach Jimmy T, overlord of the guitar instructors. He asks her to play a few chords. WJ CANNOT STRUM. She gets 3 of the 7 chords close-ish. Not right, but close-ish. Her strumming is horrifying. JT: Ok. Ok, let's try Guitar 1. WJ: No, I'm totally intermediate JT: 1 rep? WJ: shakes over confident head no JT: Ok, I guess you can try Guitar 2. Of fucking course. My class. WJ wasted so much of our class time, and was so very clearly in the wrong class, that it was a huge joke. As we were learning our first tune of the night "Walls" by Tom Petty, which was to be a refresher and to teach two new chords, WJ opined "We suck! Where's the harmony!" Um, what? Some where about the middle of "Country Roads" WJ: "Um, can you find me a nice version of Ave Maria?" Teacher: "No. We don't really teach that here." WJ: "Beyonce does a nice version of that song" wasn't aware Beyonce had taken up acoustic guitar. I've decided to turn her into a drinking game. The half dozen people sitting by me are in. Every time she raises her hand, we drink. Sure, I'll either get a DUI or need to take a cab every week, but it's only 8 weeks, right? That, or I might have to kill her. With her soulful second hand guitar.

Happy Birthday to VonMom

She has a green thumb, like a REALLY green thumb. I don't like plants. She can't carry a tune, and likes to make up her own words to songs. I know more song lyrics than I know anything else, and carry a tune quite nicely. She doesn't like it when I draw smiley faces on her hands. I like to draw smiley faces on her hands. She thinks I'm a smart ass. I think, 'huh, wonder where I got THAT from'. She hates tattoos. Thinks they might be a roadblock to my future as President of the United States. I love my tattoos, am planning on getting another one soon, and was pretty sure that her being not an American citizen might put more of a damper on my future as President of the United States. She thinks (deep down) that I'm smart enough to be President of the United States. She raised me with a "whatever doesn't kill her will make her stronger" mentality. I love that she did. I'm so hugely independent, and that's all her. She and VonDad have the cutest banter you've ever heard. It's like two news anchors that have been working together for, oh, about 25 years or so. She hates that my eyes "crinkle up and disappear" when someone is taking a picture of me. She doesn't realize that hers do the same thing. Deep deep down, she thinks I'm funny, even when she says "You are NOT funny!" I think I'm funny. My friends adore her. I'm pretty sure some of them like her more than me. She may have nearly fainted when her daughters got their ears pierced, but Oh My God, if you wrongfully fire her child from her crappy part time job in high school she will EAT YOU FOR BREAKFAST. She probably thinks that I got some bad habits from her: smoking (well, I'm over that one), t.v. watching, chatting, chocolate eating. What I also got was strength, honesty, drive, and determination. In those I'm proud to say that I'm her daughter. Happy happy birthday Mom. You're the coolest. Love you!

Crappy poster lately.

I don't really want to take a haitus, but it seems like that may be happening. Things at work have been crazy, busy, and crazybusy. My evenings? Even more so. Here's this week: Last night: Ticket counting from MayFest. I left at 9:40 (almost 4 hours of counting) and they were not finished. Tonight: GUITAR 2 STARTS!!!! Woo to the hoo Tomorrow night: VonMom's birthday. I'm trying to crash their dinner plans. Thursday: More time spending with VonParents Friday: Girls night with Toni Saturday night: Volunteering at Old Town Sunday: Something I cannot remember. Now, tomorrow being VonMom's big day, I will be posting a post to her. Beyond that? I will try. and try and try. But I make no promises.

VonForNow

is having such a shit day at work, she can't even talk about it. Nor can she blog.

Interns and book clubs

1. My intern is back at work. Here's why I love her:

• She works her ASS off, all summer for me and LB1.
• She has a great attitude
• She's smart. And driven.
• She's got a great work ethic, for a 20 year old, sure, but there are a lot of people I know that can learn a thing or two from her.
• She really does go to Starbucks whenever we want! Sometimes every day!
• She's adorable

Here's why I don't:

• She's adorable
• Like, all 90 lbs of her
• And 5'0" of her
• Standing next to her makes me feel like....um...... like
• Like Ursula to her Ariel
• Like Snuffulopogus to her Elmo

All kidding aside, I'm sooooo glad she's back!

2. Not Your Momma's Book Club (why, yes, I DID name it, thanks for asking!) had our "On the Road" Jack Kerouac meeting in my awesome yard on Saturday. 3.5 bottles of wine and 5 hours worth of meeting. We're a good club. Really good. Like new people want in to NYMBC all the time. We're letting two new members in this month. I don't think they know about the blindfolds and paddles that come with the first meeting, but whatever.

Not so sure about this new book - "The Help", but in an effort of democracy, I'll read it. Majority rule and all that. I have to get a copy, LB1 is checking to see if she has it to lend to me. Otherwise I'll be hitting up half priced books.com or whatever it's called.

Happy Monday, my shiny happy people, happy Monday.

I got your bandwagon right here

Psst - Hey, hey you Um, so THE BLACKHAWKS WON THE STANLEY CUP LAST NIGHT. SO The rest of the NHL can SUCK IT. That is all. Back about your day. ***return of the snark***

Happy Birthday

Today is my dad's birthday. It's a big one. If you remind him of that, he'll shrug, and say "Eh" in a non-committal way. See, my dad is the guy that they wrote the greeting card about - Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad. Who's my dad? My dad is the greatest man I know. From my earliest memories, he's this guy: The one who bandaged up my busted big toe when I was three after I dropped a glass bottle on it. Also the one who picked me up from a snow drift in the blizzard of '79 when I fell off the sled. And took me to the circus for my birthday. To this guy in my grade school years: The guy who made a super cool erosion science project with wood, duct tape and soup cans. The guy who drove 4 or 5 girl scouts to camp every month or so in his very new Cadillac, and stopped on the way for french fries for all, as long as we didn't tell our leader. And gave me lopsided pigtails when he tried to do my hair. The the one in my high school years: The guy who said "Man, Von, you make me so mad, but I LOVE YOU". The funny guy who, when friend would call on the phone and say "Is Von there?" he'd respond with "Why, yes she is, thanks for asking" and hang up on them. and also the guy who: Hung my and Laura's bras from the ceiling fan when we forgot to take them upstairs with us, he then turned on the fan, in the living room, in front of the picture window. Then along the way: He began to see me as a person, an adult, not as a child. Probably long before I thought of myself that way. He smirks at me in a way that says 'I know. I know what you're thinking. It's pretty funny, but I"m thinking the same thing too.' He loves my mom the way she deserves to be loved. They are the cutest couple I know. Watching them together is like watching a goofy loving sitcom. He reminds me that I'm smart. He loves me in a way that makes me think he loves me the most. Of all seven of his kids. Which is quite a trick. He thinks I'm funny. Really funny. And tells me so. Though I don't let him read VFN, I'm sure he'd be a fan if he did. He's always been supportive of me writing. Happy Happy birthday to my dad - the greatest dad, the greatest person I know. Love ya!

Announcing:

Tomorrow's post will be schmoopy, not snarky, so for those wanting the snark, please come back another day. Thanks!

Viel Spass!

Best things about MaiFest:

• The happy happy fun loving people.
• The delicious food
• The very chilly Hofbrau Original
• My german flag dress and the many complete strangers who took pictures of me in it
• Hot hot men
• The $$ made for DANK

Worst things about MaiFest:

• The happy happy fun loving people who don't know when they've had enough
• Popped polo shirt collars
• The monsoon that was Saturday night
• The Hawks game that stole our thunder Friday night
• The very chilly Hofbrau Original in my shoes. And my hair. And my clothes.
• Hot hot men being cobags
• That horrible song "I don't want her you can have her she's too fat for me" I fucking hate that song
• The fact that all German/Polka bands think "Country Roads" by John Denver should be played again, and again, and again.......all weekend long
• The fact that when I was finally finished working for the weekend, and only had about four sips of beer that they wanted me to go right back to work in the kitchen. Um, no. I left. Everyone else got to stand around and drink, but not me apparently
• Aching feet, back, neck, etc......
• The Creepy McCreeperstein who told me my name isn't actually my name, my name is Nicki. When I said "No, my sister's name is Nicki" he told me her last name. CREEPY. Neither she nor I actually know this guy. HOT guy, but totally creepy!!

Ein, zwei, zuffa!!

Tis the season, again. It's MayFest weekend. Who's the best bier pourer at MayFest? Faster than lightning, not spilling a drop, lotsa foamy or not so foamy, I can do it all. All while wearing my German flag themed dress. Yep, I rock. The five shifts I was assigned attest to that. Wish me luck. I hope to have some good stories after the weekend. These festivals are always prime for people watching.

Lookie there

Hey! Someone's posting again!!

Also

I'll be moving on to new topics. I've given all I can on the wedding recap. Plus, I don't want to piss anyone off (TheMarty / Shannon) if I write too much snark about their friends. Suffice to say You just can't like all people all the time. Even when a slew of people you do like are telling you how much they like a specific someone. Um, sorry, that particular someone was 11 shades of lame, and I would never, could never be friends with them. Among others with their annoying habits and sundry of things for me to dislike/make fun of/abhor. *ahem* Moving on.

Clearly

So, yeah, no post this weekend. Ask me if I have internet at home ? Nope. I do not. NO internet, no blog posts. Funny how that works. Hopefully I will have the issue resolved by Friday of this week.

and Part 2

The big day. Woke up all on my own (like a grown up), hung over like nobody's business at 7:45am. The Bride offered me whole grain bagel with that bull shit neufchatel (read: NOT cream cheese) cheese. Um no. This tummy needs McDs, stat. And Gatorade. We head out, the Bride, the little cousin of bride, some friend of groom chic (more on her later) and I. Stop at McDs. Get some grease/cheese/bread for tummy. Oh, yeah, I still want to puke, and I still haven't actually puked. Get to DANK. Ribbons/bows/flowers/etc......girly things you wouldn't really be interested in. Back to condo. Hair. Makeup. Female bonding aka Thai food and "Pretty in Pink" (finally). I've never been more calm and unrushed getting ready for a wedding before. That went really well. All beautiful and ready. To DANK. In cabs. This is how we roll. NO The Bride did NOT wear her wedding dress in the cab. Things get a little more stressful here. One of the grooms men was totally late, so that messed up the picture taking. There was no professional photographer, so there was a lot of not knowing what to do when and where. The ceremony was beautiful and very short. One of the bridesmaids Rick Rolled the ceremony, which was killer, and OH YEAH, IT WAS ALSO MY IDEA. Her "reading" consisted entirely of the lyrics to "Never Gonna Give You Up" and a little "It Takes Two" by Rob Base and DJ Easy Rock. Awesome. After the ceremony we all headed back up for more pictures, or so I thought, but no, the entire population of guests are smokers, so they all immediately invaded the terrace, so no more pictures. I said f this, not sure what I'm staying up here for then, and I went downstairs to say hello to some people. GOD FORBID I got yelled by easily four people that I shouldn't be down there, and it's time to line up for the introductions and blah blah blah.....hence we entered the 'hurry up and wait' portion of the evening. Sorry, I don't play that game. I basically told all of those yelling at me to fuck off, and I was going to do what I wanted. Guess who was in place and ready to go for the introductions?!? Yep, that would be me. Was everyone else? Um, nope. THEN I was introduced as Yvette. Dear readers, this is NOT MY NAME. Thankfully, DJ corrected himself, and 75% of the people knew me anyway, but still, that part kinda sucked. Each introduced group had their own song that Bride and Groom had picked out for them. Mine and the best man's was "Mah na ma nah" song. I felt a little bad for the best man because this song was selected for me. He thought it was cool though. The best thing was that they had a photo room set up with all sorts of props and such with a photographer all night. He had a projector set up and uploaded the pics right away for all to see. It was a huge hit. Pretty late in the evening, I said to the Bride - "So, we haven't had one picture taken of us all night." Into the photo room we went for some shots. I know in one of them we are holding a little chalk board that says "besties". I can't wait to see all of those pictures! So. There was dancing. Lots of it. There were cupcakes (we totally hid some behind the bar so we could eat them on Sunday). I think there was food (I missed that part). There was drinking and some shots (who me?). And there were speeches. I'm not going to lie. My speech kicked ass. The beginnings of my speech came to me while I was in the shower. I slept on it, and the next day I wrote it all down. I'm going to brag here and state that I didn't do any rewrites. I felt pretty confident in what I wrote. The first part of my speech was to Shannon. The middle part was to TheMarty, the end was to both with an Irish blessing thrown in. I thought it was good. I didn't cry, but will admit I hoped they would tear up. Come to find out throughout the rest of the evening that LOTS of people cried at my speech. They also laughed exactly when they were supposed to, and I even got some unexpected applause at one point. I got more compliments on that than I can count. I think I will either rewrite it nicely or type it up and give them a nice clean copy. Wedding over, a small gathering of people headed back to the condo for some late night deep dish pizza ordering. Once we kicked one of the bridesmaids and a much much younger friend of the groom out of Shannon and Marty's room (EWWW - and Have a little respect for your friends that just got married!) I went to bed. It was like 4am. This post is toooooo long. I will write a part three with the Day After and my musings on a few of the people that were there sometime over the weekend. I know you are all on pins and needles.

Recap part 1

I took off work Thursday, Friday and Monday for the wedding. Here's some of what I did those days. Thursday: I kinda had the day to myself as the Bride overslept by a lot. I got my nails done a lovely shade of purple. I bought an outfit for the rehearsal dinner. I made sure I had my spanx ( you ladies know what I am talking about). Met the Bride at the condo they rented for the weekend. Holy shit. I cried at the sight of it. Why can't I live somewhere awesome like that? My ENTIRE apartment could fit in the kitchen/living room area. And it had a balcony. And a view. And three bedrooms. The Bride gave me a tour. I looked in a bedroom and said "Mine!" Bride laughed, but knew I wasn't kidding. After the quick tour, she and I went to dinner at Hopleaf. We had a couple of lovely beers while we waited for our table. Dinner was a sausage plate appetizer (nom nom nom), a CB&J for the Bride - cashew butter and fig jam - and a brisket sandwich for me. There were homemade potato chips with that. We shared a chocolate mousse with raspberry sauce dessert. I say "mousse" but it was more of a "cement". A delicious cement to be sure. We then went back to the condo. We popped our heads in on the Boston people who were playing games in their condo on the second floor. We headed back upstairs. The Bride had asked me to bring "Pretty in Pink" for us to watch. Of course, we couldn't figure out the DVD player, so that didn't happen. The Groom showed up and the tricycle of awesome had some laughs and then watched "Daybreakers". Not a bad film, I'd say. Super cool concept, actually. Neither Bride nor Groom expounded on the political undertones of the film (I was kinda shocked at that) and it was a good night. Friday. Oops. Made the mistake of turning on the "Grey's Anatomy" finale. First of all, I pretty much don't even watch this show anymore, but I saw previews and was like 'Cool, shoot 'em up at Seattle Grace, that's worth watching'. Wow. Lots of shooting and stuff in the first hour. I had to speak sternly to myself "hey, asshole, you are supposed to be out and about already. get moving" "Yes ma'am" I answered myself. Packed up, headed out. Got the lovely pastries over the Daily for the rehearsal dinner. Had one of those encounters where the manager knew me, and I was pretty sure I didn't know him. I said "Oh, it's not MY wedding" He said "Of course! Because if it was your wedding, this whole place would be jumping!" Um, okkkkkkaaaaayyyy Got to the condo, got to work. Weddings don't just magically appear. There's ribbons, and glue guns, and sparkles and other stuff. Rehearsal dinner. Double ooops. Maid of Honor (ok, yours truly) had one (ok, five) too many Jamey's (ok, shots of Jameson) on top of barely eating and having a bunch (ok, seven or eight) Rolling Rocks. Conversation with self in bathroom: "I have to throw up" "Do NOT throw up. They'll all hear you" "But I'll feel a lot better" "Do NOT throw up." "The Bride is going to kill me" "Do NOT throw up" I didn't throw up. (but in hindsight, I probably should have) Can't say I remember getting back to the condo. I do know we had to be up by 7:45 on Saturday to go over and get the hall ready for the wedding. ...........to be continued..............

Kinda

I'm back(ish)! Did ya miss me? Don't answer that, I know your snark. I missed you. I have tales. And stories. And the like. But alas I am busy catching up with work stuff, and life stuff, and my God it's hot here stuff. I hope to give you some wedding info sometime this week. I don't have any pictures though. I was too busy to take any. I will tell you that my speech was a big hit.

One task down......

Hey! Guess what! I got my speech/toast thing written! I've only be stressing about it for oh......about three weeks now. Once I formulated it, it was pretty easy to craft. It's breezy, witty, funny, smart. Hell, it's just like me.

Stupid internet

Damn you internet connection. I wrote a zombiefull post yesterday. It was short but sweet. Fing internet went away sometime during my writing, and didn't even save my stupid post. I'm not re-writing it. grrr

You were always on my mind

In an effort to be transparent, I have to fill you all in on the goings on around these parts. In 9ish days, two thirds of the Tricycle of Awsome are getting hitched. Since I'm the other one third, of course I'm the Maid of (dis)Honor. I'm very excited that the Boston People will be here for over a week. I haven't seen them since August, so it's going to be awesome. Well, if I can invite myself on some of their outings, it'll be awesome. Plus, there's this one guy that TheMarty's been talking about forever time, so I guess it'll be fun to meet him. Even though for a long time he thought I was a man. Ahem. Why am I telling you all of this? Well I'm busy. Ok, fine, busier than usual. Is that better? And I have things to do. And some stuff to do too. And I have a speech to write. Holy shit, I have a speech to write!!! In an effort to keep the Tricycle of Awesome intact, I will also have to put my best filter on, and bite my tongue every so often. Plus, I'm sure there will be many shenanigans and goings on, but I'll have to figure out just how much is shareable. Shareworthy? Shareingness? So, as much as I'll want to blog about the good times and bad, in sickness and in health.... sorry, went off track there...... I may or may not be around much for a while. Unless I get a thorn in my side about something. And you know, there's always something. Just a little heads up is all.

Am I?

Am I the only one who didn't think that Betty White was funny on SNL? I mean, come on people. She swore. Then, she said lesbian. Then she swore some more. When I'm 88, I will swear for you, and you don't have to watch me on late night t.v. Hell, I'll do it right now. Not funny. That's just my opinion.

I can play this:

Half a mile from the county fair and the rain keep pourin' down Me and Billy standin' there With a silver half a crown ...... my favorite line? And it stoned me to my soul Stoned me just like Jelly Roll What the hell does that even mean? I do not know. But I do know I can play this song, and that makes me a musical human.

You know what sucks?

That because I'm stupid and told people (specifically my sister) about this here blog many many many moons ago, I can't write what I want to write today. SO, I'm choosing to not write a post at all, because all I want to write about I can't. It's my own damn fault, but still. Suffice to say, Mother's day sucked big time.

Help!

You all know, I never NEVER do this - a blatant plea for comments and replies.... BUT I need your assistance. I have a group of "train friends". My tfs (as they shall henceforth be known) are women of varying ages and backgrounds. We like each other well enough and we tend to sit togetherish on the train. Many other train riders don't really care for us and our obnoxious behavior, but oh well, we are very entertaining. There are anywhere from 3 to 8 of us on any given day. There are even two sub-groups of us. The nice ones (generally the older ladies) and the mean ones (just guess which I fall into) NOW There is another group of train people. A small horde. There's 4 of them, sometimes 5 or 6. They are ugly, boring, stupid and all around nasty. They need a name Like, an opposing gang name. This morning I called them the ugly stupid gang. Laura said to me "That's no good. We need VonForNow good." That being said. I pose it to you, because to me they are what they are, the ugly stupid gang. What do you think? What should their name be? And, then, what should our gang be? ** after reading this post again, I had to add a note. Hmmm...Laura said "We need VonForNow good." HuH? I AM VonForNow. I mean, I write it, so it's me, so the snarky wit she's asking for is mine. And my commentors, sure, but mine. Like me and my blog are two seperate things....hm...must think on this for a bit.....**

Jackpot!

Won the lottery with my new guitar teacher. He's 10 shades of awesome. He may or may not (but most likely may) be a hippy. A super cool awesome hippy. His name is Steve. He refers to us as "musical humans" and also "guitar humans" I like being referred to as a musical human. I hear he is one of those people that can hear a song and just play it, with all of the intricate styling he had heard. He is hilarious and cool, and he calls everyone by name. He seems like a genuinely good guy. I'm pretty excited about the next seven weeks of class. On our first day he taught us "(Sitting on the) Dock of the Bay" by Otis Redding. Well, until we got to the pesky F chord. The road to my musicianship is currently sunshine and light, and paved with tie-dye and rose-colored glasses.

Agrees

Agrees that she was a little passive aggressive yesterday. And hates passive aggressive kinda a lot. SO, I'm sorry. Or I'm zorry.

phoning it in.

***yawn****

or

whatevs

Happy f*cking Monday

Thanks!

Dear Old Navy, Thanks for cutting your clothes on the big side! My capris are totally falling off me today, forcing me to order my summer clothes one size smaller!! Thanks for making me feel less than - in a good way! Love ya! Von

Dunno

I'm not quite sure how to get GermanClassCrush to love me when he never comes to class the same weeks that I do. We seem to be on this weird blow off class on alternating weeks thing, which sucks. In other news Not that any of you besides Saying Yes would even be aware of it, but I've had an obsession the last two days. back story: Woke up yesterday to go to work, and as usual, the first thing I do is turn on WGN news. There was a dog running on the expressway. And then swimming in the river. And then running down the expressway. Yes, there were cars on the expressway. Here's me: "Where ya going baby? Huh? Be careful? Someone help him!" yes, I was mostly speaking to my t.v. I went to wgn.com all day for updates, and nada. I guess the little guy got tired and ran into some woods. I figured I'd keep checking for updates today. So Wake up this morning, turn on t.v., wrong new on. I see - a dog, running down the expressway. I say "A day late and a dollar short with your news...." Then I see the little icon that says LIVE I switch over to WGN and "So if you're just tuning in, no this is not a joke, that dog is back, running on the expressway again" and here's me: "Where ya going baby? Huh? Be careful!! Where is animal control!?!? OMG don't hit him!!!" I had to turn it off when he almost very nearly got hit by a semi. Get to work Checking WGN The poor thing got tired and got arrested. For realz. He was last seen in the back of a squad car. Allegedly he's a pit bull named Boxer. I see, he ran away because of the identity crisis in being a pit bull named Boxer. I'd really like to take his stupid owner, have him go for a little jog on the highway, followed by a swim in the river, a night in the woods, and then another run on the highway. Stupid people should not be allowed to own dogs.

Quick Geeeetar Update

So, sitting in our final Guitar 1 class Saturday, getting ready to go up to the auditorium to "graduate" by playing a song on stage, our teacher noticed our nervousness. To make us feel better, he said: "Don't worry. There is absolutely NOTHING riding on how well you play this song..." well, that was not an accurate statement, as you all know I had A LOT riding on this song. We let the teacher know what the deal was: "Von does. She has to do well, or her dad won't let her keep the guitar" "Oh. Ok, here's what we're going to do - Von will sit next to me....." We got on stage. We played "Dark Hollow" We didn't suck. Went to lunch with VonParents immediately after graduation. I sat with my geeeetar, like it was my date. Lull in the conversation I say: "So.....?" VonDad **smirk** VonMom "Oh, I think you can keep using it." weird flutter of the hands, kinda like a pshaw, we're done with this conversation VonDad "For now." My plan? Get to Guitar 3, or even Guitar 4ever, and then open up discussion about the Guitar being MINE 4ever. My evil plan is in the works...... stayed tuned.....(music joke, kinda, hahahaha)

Thank you, Dictionary.com

Judgmental: 1. involving the use or exercise of judgement 2. tending to make moral judgements Apparently, this is what I am. Or think maybe some of my closest friends think I am. Sure, I have strong opinions, but if someone is my friend, they should know that pretty early on in the friendship. Here's me using it in a sentence: Because I'm judgmental, two of my best friends basically don't tell me anything anymore. How can you use it in a sentence? I could also use some help figuring out WHY my honest opinions are often dismissed as judgmental.

You are on notice:

Please note Friends, Lovers, and those I cuddle with. If you DO NOT post within 30 days....... You do NOT get to live at the top of the list. that's just how it is. Get off your asses and write a post or two. C'mon.

Things that make you go hmmmm

The other day I was getting ready to to out. While getting ready, I was blasting Q101. Q101 happens to be Chicago's alternative radio station. It tends towards heavier bands, which is what I dig. The louder, the faster, the better for me. I love the same types of music I always have. My age has not mellowed me out. I love Korn. Slipknot, Rise Against, NIN, Breaking Benjamin, Sick Puppies, 30 Seconds to Mars - all these bands and more are what Q101 plays. The problem? Turns out I am so NOT their target audience. Neither my age nor my gender make me someone that they cater to. Yet, I can't stay away from it; At home, in my car, at work (when I'm not listening to XRT) I just wonder if I'm an anomaly. Am I supposed to no longer like hard/fast/edgy music after I reach a certain age? Is that what happens? I mean, I do love allll of my various types of music, this just happens to be the one that I come back to the most. Am I one day going to wake up and crave adult contemporary? *shudder* Or show tunes? I can't let that happen. I just can't.

I reckon (or, actually, didn't)

I don't regret much from my younger years. Truthfully, from time to time I even wonder if my best years are behind me. But, that's a subject for another day. One thing I totally regret, and am trying to make up for now is this: I never realized how amazing R.E.M. is. I mean, amazing. Sure, I have "Out of Time", I think there was a rule that all high school seniors had to have that CD. I gave it a good amount of play time, but there was always some other band stealing away my attentions. Either something new, or an old standby, R.E.M. never really stuck with me. Until recently. I can kinda remember when it happened, too. I was driving and I heard a song by Michael Stipe and Natalie Merchant. It was a song I've never heard before or since. It was beautiful. And it got me to thinking. I bought "Nightswimming" on iTunes. I dusted off "Out of Time". I revisited "Lifes Rich Pageant" What was I thinking?!?! Why wasn't I cool enough to know and appreciate this for what it was?!?! Why wasn't I paying attention? So now I'm on a mission. An R.E.M. super appreciation mission. I'm eating them up like candy. Every song I can, every lyric mentally broken down for meaning and movement. I may have been blind before, but now I'm all over this. I'm sorry, Michael Stipe, for not being smart enough to get it.

Guitar Goddess!!

ZOMG Not only can I play a passable version of "Free Fallin'" NOW I can also play that cool part of "Paint it Black" you know the part the bing bing bing bing bing byong bung bong.... That part! Guitar 1 graduation, T minus 6 days!! OTSFM, Saturday 4/24, 12:15, be there or be square

Fridge note

So Heyyyyy, I've been busy.... w o r k i n g I know, sigh, no excuse. but I have post in my head. Just need time to write it. Soon, my little ones, soon.

I don't get it

So I finally watched "Up" yesterday. Everyone had warned me how awfully sad it was. "The first 20 minutes will kick your ass!" "Everyone I know was sobbing in the beginning!" "Don't watch it! It's so sad!" "You'll be sobbing the whole time!" blah blah and blah Not only did I not lose my shit the first twenty minutes, I don't understand why anyone would. It's a bittersweet story, but anyone who saw any preview would know that the old man is alone, so hence, his wife is dead. I thought it was done well, but no, there was no sobbing. You know when I did tear up? When the bad guy kicked Dug. And when the mean dogs kicked Dug. Overall it was a fine movie. I didn't cry at all. Pretty much all it did for me was make me want a dog. It doesn't take much to make me want a dog. SO, basically, I don't get it.

I'm really good at one thing

minds out of the gutter, geesh I'm really good at filling up my time. Or, not "pissing my life away", as VonDad likes to put it. So Originally, this weekend was supposed to be spent in Elkhorn WI, putting up tents at one of my favorite places on Earth, Juniper Knoll Girl Scout camp. I could cry that I'm not going, but the one person Laura and I knew who was going backed out, so we did too. Funny, two weeks ago I was all 'Sigh, I might actually miss R while I'm in WI for the weekend.' Well, we all know how that turned out. So instead, I've managed to overfill my weekend to the point of burstin'. Last night, went to see "Breakfast Club, the Musical" at Studio Be. Had a lovely time with some awesome people. Plus, I'm kinda friends with one of the girls in the chorus, so I did her a solid by going, so upside. Tonight I'm having dinner and drinks with TheMarty. No Shannon. Just us, two/thirds of the tricycle of awesome. Haven't seen him since Christmas I think, so it'll be good. Tomorrow. I'm tired just thinking about tomorrow Tomorrow I have guitar at 11. TheMarty is picking me up from class to go directly to Pilsen (do not pass go, do not collect $200) for wedding arts and crafts fun with Shannon and some other random people. TheMarty will then take me back to my car, at which point I will hurry home and doll myself up for super awesome evening with Laura. We're going to Pepe's for dinner (by choice! We do it by choice man!), followed by tickets to Muvico (super fancy movie theater) where we have $20/piece premiere tickets to "Clash of the Titans" in 3D. Premeire means cushy over sized love seats instead of chairs, free popcorn, and NO ONE UNDER THE AGE OF 21. And oh, yeah, they serve you cocktails at your seats. After that there may be some drinking (if I'm still awake) Sunday There's a bbq at VonSis's inlaws. I may go as there may be food there, and there is likely to be no food in my own house. At this point, looking ahead to my awesomely busy, yet still awesome weekend, I have just one thing to say: R who?

Perry Farrell is lame

There, I said it. Count me among the millions that were excited, nah, ELATED when a few years ago PF announced for all the world that Lollapalooza was being reborn! And only in Chicago! And it's going to be three days! And it's awesome!! I was downright gleeful. Me, who had been to the first 7 of the original Lollas. The ones that toured the country and were all in one day. Sure, you got heat stroke, and 3rd degree sunburns, but you were there! From 9am until 1am! It was exciting to be introduced to new bands, like Smashing Pumpkins 'huh, I like this song, they are likely to take off'. A sampling of bands that I saw, back in the day: 91.. Nine Inch Nails, Souxsie and the Banshees (I LOVED them!), Rollins Band, Violent Femmes 92.Ministry, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam, Rage Against the Machine 93. Primus, Tool (little known!! on to awesome!) Front 242 (I LOVED them!), Dinosaur Jr. 94.** Favorite year ever!! ** Beastie Boys, Smashing Pumpkins, George Clinton & P Funk Allstars, The Flaming Lips 95. The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Cypress Hill, Hole, Pavement! 96. Metallica, Ramones, Soundgarden (again!), Rancid 97. Snoop Doggy Dog, Beck, Old 97s, Prodigy. Funny, I have the shittiest memory EVER, but I remember every single Lolla I went to. And how much fun they were. And what a kick ass vibe. And, man, I want to be that age again!! Yes, I went to EVERY original Lolla. So, I feel I AM MORE THAN QUALIFIED to tell you this This year's Lolla? Train wreck Travesty Evil incarnate Just plain fucking wrong A sampling of 2010 Lollapalooza's "artists": Lady Gaga Green Day Metric The Big Pink Javelin Minus the Bear Skybox Oh, are you even still reading this crap? Who the f*cK are these people??? And why, why, why if they played shitty assed Pitchfork (stab me!!) are they playing Lollapafukcinglooza this year!?!?!? There's something like 12 bands that have that distinction. True, I am wholly ANTI-HIPSTERS. But, I am PRO good awesome kick ass music. The hipsters can and do have their festival. It's called Pitchfork. And you wouldn't catch me anywhere near there. Ever. Not even for a million dollars. Lollapalooza is for a different crowd. A much harder, edgier, better, cooler crowd. One cannot blend the two. We will eat the hipsters for breakfast. I could not be more disappointed!! Thank GOD I didn't buy the stupid advance ticket!! Perry Farrell is lame. He's soft, and he's getting o l d. I'm so NOT getting old!! If there was anyone, ANYONE worth seeing at Lolla this year, you bet your ass I'd be there, right up front, moshing my happy little self away. But there isn't. So I won't. Damn you Perry Farrell. Damn you.

Something smells funny

Ham French toast casserole (usually, this is all I eat, because I don't like ham, but this year SIL1X put pecans on it) (SIL1X no longer loves me, and wants me to suffer with no casserole) Salad Coleslaw Bread (brought by me, of course.) 1 gigantic loaf of landbrot, some crescent rolls, and some flaky layer biscuits AND THEN: Asparagus with garlic and lime Asparagus with cream cheese and blue cheese wrapped in bread Asparagus with balsamic somethingorother Asparagus with horseradish cream sauce Asparagus quesadillas Asparagus something else I can't remember You'd really like me to be kidding. I'm not VonSis REALLY likes asparagus. She went to the produce store at 7am, so as not to endure the funny looks and head turns as she added a crate of asparagi to her cart - and nothing else -

In other news....

R just dumped me. Step one: Change teh FB relationship status back to single Step two: Unfriend R, TheBrother, TheFiance Step three: Come over to my blog to let my people know

Busy elswhere

SO In taking the week off, I thought I'd be in teh blogosphere less. Not so much. I've been here. And also here. In case anyone is following this drama, I am no longer spam over at 3Bulls. Hence and therefore, I no longer dislike them. Happy Easter. Go Jesus!

A break

This full moon is kicking my ass. Hard. My mind is all aswirl, as are my fragile little emotions. What was I doing when I noticed that it was raining in my living room last night? (long story, for another day) Answer: I was laying on my couch, listening to my iPod and sighing. This is not the person who should be writing posts for you. I'm taking this week off. Be good to yourselves.

How you know.

Do you want to know how you know you are in the presence of the One That Got Away? I can tell you. You see him and your heart skips not one beat but two. It's cold out, but your face is flaming hot. You are sure you are purple. You can feel your eyes light up. You toss your hair. Stop. Pull it back over your shoulder. Did he like your hair longer or shorter? Can't remember. Get frustrated. Contemplate pulling said hair up into a ponytail. Stupid hair. He sees you. Your heart skips beats again, and this time, your stomach drops. You forget where you are, why you are there, and who you are with. He hugs you. You want to keep hugging him. The urge to kiss him is gigantic, enormous. It's so big, you are sure everyone around you knows that you want to kiss him. Words from 16 years ago blast through your mind "Moment of truth, huh babe?" You are sure everyone around you heard this, even though it's only in your silly little mind. When he stops hugging you, you feel yourself leaning in his general direction. Every moment he's around you, you want to touch him. Hold his hand, put your arm around him. This feels like the most natural thing in the world, even though he hasn't been "yours" for 13 years. You want to whisper in his ear, or scream at the top of your lungs "I still love you!". This urge is gigantic, enormous. You think you'll die if you don't say it. You don't say it. Every ounce of your famous self-esteem is gone, vanished, like it had never existed. You can't even bring yourself to give him your phone# or email address. You act like a child and give your info to his sister instead. You kick yourself for this. Repeatedly. When it's time to go, you are physically ill at the thought of leaving. Leaving him. He'll forget me. He'll forget I was here. You have an overwhelming desire to be alone. You want your apartment, something strong to drink, and your bed. For a very very long time. You get home, and immediately get in a hot shower so you can cry in peace. You feel silly for crying but God damn it you love him and you miss him and holy shit. You go to bed insanely early, to avoid drinking alone. You can't sleep. Not a little, not at all. For days after, you have this incredible sadness weighing you down. You know that you could cry at the drop of a hat, and would, but God damn it you're not going to! There's work to be done! Things to do! You know understand, with stunning clarity, that the reason you are the way you are in relationships is because you know that he was the one. And he got away.

Fridge Note

3Bulls hates Von. Yep, I'm back to being spam. s i g h

Wherein I feel the need to share everything with y'all

well, ALMOST everything. The backstory. There's a mouse. In the house. Well, in the commune in which I live. A mouse who poops little tiny poops that announce his existance. Poops that were not seen, or brushed off as "not mouse poops" until: One day last month, VonSis went up to her place one evening. EEEEEEEEEEEE (or so I'm told. again, I didn't her my sister's screams. Bad sister, I am) ***my cell phone rings***** "Didn't you hear me screaming!?!?" "Um. Nope." "I was screaming for like five minutes!!!!!" "Ok. Why were you screaming?" "There was a mouse on my kitchen table!!" BLEH!!! BrotherInLaw/LandOverlord lays out poison. Many many lovely blue pellets of poison. Weeks pass. More weeks pass. -Last night- I happened to go up to VonSis's house for a quick visit after work. BrotherInLaw is home, and the three of us discuss the mouse. Where is the mouse? Why isn't it dead yet? What if it's dead somewhere bad? Now, onto the tale I feel I must tell. This morning. This is the text VonSis and BrotherInLaw/LandOverlord received. From me. At 6:30 am. "OH MY GOD!!! DEAD MOUSE!!! MY BEDROOM!! WHY CAN'T YOU HEAR ME SCREAMING! I DEMAND IMMEDIATE REMOVAL!! ZOMFG!!!!!" silence nothing No running of feet over head to save poor poor me. 6:34 am *my cell phone rings* I'm confused. It's VonSis's work number. "Hello?" "Yeah, so I'm at work." "WHERE IS YOUR HUSBAND!?!?!?" "He's on his way to Kansas, or Missouri, wherever." "But there's a mouse. In.my.bedroom." "Where is it?" "By the hole in the wall, go figure. It's dead." "You sure?" "I've been staring at it for like five minutes. It's dead." VonSis promised dead mouse removal upon her return home tonight. I will not be entering my bedroom until the thing is gone. 7:05am **my cell phone rings** "Hello?" "HAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAA. You have a dead mouse in your bedroom!!! Hahahahaha." "Um, brother-in-law? You suck as a LandOverlord." "HAHAHAHAHA. At least we know where it is now!! Right?!?" "I hate you. It's in my room. IN MY ROOM." click

just gonna type

It's not like we were friends anymore. I don't know when the last time I saw him was. But, I had known him since I was 5. Gary Gnu. That's what we called him. Not we, like a couple people, we like everyone. The whole neighborhood. Kids, their parents, other kids from nearby neighborhoods. I bullied him, picked on him, picked fights with him. He bullied me, picked on me, picked fights with me. My oldest brother-in-law befriended him while we were in high school. Broinlaw played softball in the field right across from Gary's house. He asked me to leave Gary alone. Whatever. I didn't give it a second thought. Then right after high school, I started dating someone who was best friends with Gary. We started spending all of our time at Gary's house. It was one block over from mine, but far enough away my parents never knew I was there, daily, drinking Grand Slam 30 packs of Old Style that somehow seemed to get there, even though none of us was legal. Gary wasn't so bad. Sure, he was a little off, but he was funny, crazy, not much different than the rest of us. I dated that guy on and off for three years. Throughout our tumultuous relationship, Gary was around. He never got in the middle of our many fights, he'd just sit there and shrug, never really taking either side. The ex and Gary used to go over to the forest preserve right across from his house. The ex said he and Gary would have these incredibly long conversations over there. I'd asked once what they talked about. "Everything, Von, we talked about everything from yogurt to God." Like it or not, he was part of our group. Here we are, a number of years later. Tomorrow is Gary's wake. He died, suddenly, Friday at 37 years old. Of course I will be going to the wake. He was a part of my childhood, my memories of the neighborhood that I grew up in, and where my parents still live. He was a big part of one of my favorite times of my life, those first few years right out of high school. I have a feeling that that wake is going to be packed. Though nervous to go, and be around my ex, my heart really goes out to him. I can't imagine how devastated he is. I just want to hug him, and his sister, and Gary's mom, all at once. Tomorrow is going to be a rough day. ** Side note. It's only because of teh fb that I found out about Gary. I'm fb friends with the ex's sister, and she posted something on her status. I emailed her and got the details. FB is good for somethings, it seems.**

Cowboy meh

Friday night I got to volunteer for the Cowboy Junkies show at Old Town. I've never gotten to work one of their shows before, and I was excited. I was early. Really early~!! The show I was working started at 10:00, so I was supposed to be there at 9:00. Well, it was Friday night, and I was tired, so I showed up more like 8:00. This gave me a chance to check out the band. Meh. A little too low key for me. Being so early gave me a leg up on the head vol for my show. I took the clipboard and assigned myself box office. This would keep me off my feet (or off my bad knee, actually) and keep me out of the hall. If I had to sit there through that mellow mess of Junkie, I would have fallen asleep fo sho. It was a good night, one of those nights that all of the staff people were totally awesome. People I either am friends with or would like to be. So, I'm sitting, crocheting, minding my business. And here comes the opening act. Grant Lee Phillips. Sure, his original intent was to check out with the concert staff, get his $$ and go. That's not what happened. He hung around. He chatted. He picked up a banjo and strummed around the office a bit. Let me tell you, even when he hums it's purely melodic. I developed a quick little crush on him, due to his awesomeness and laidback coolness. I just sat there and piped in every now and then. Then I had one of those thoughts again: 'I love this place!! This is the awesome stuff that happens here, and nowhere else! I love this place! I love my life!' Right about that time, one of the Cowboy Junkies walks up to me at the desk: "Ice?" I shake my head and point over to the cafe. Yep, he was supposed to be on stage at the time. Awesome. Guitar update: Learned 3 new chords. Also learned "Bring it on home", one of my favorite songs ever. Cannot feel my left hand index finger. Some people -including Grant Lee Phillips - that this is normal.

By Request

At brunch with Laura this morning: L: "So, as a follower of your blog. I have to ask something." V: eyebrows raised in inquiry. Fork slightly moved to indicate 'go ahead' L: "The post you keep saying you're going to write, and not writing.......write it." Far be it from me to let down the reader. SOOOOO A week or so ago, R and I decided to change our Relationship Status on teh facebook to In a Relationship. (or, relationSHIT, thanks Dane Cook, back when you were funny....) It was kind of a joke, barely a "thing". It was pretty late, we were drinking, we decided to make the change. We agreed that the actual relationshit would not change, at all, just taking a step more publicly. We laughed about it, then let TheBrother know that we had come to this "big" decision. A couple of days later, I made the change. Apparently, you cannot be in a relationshit with someone on teh facebook unless they confirm it. So for a day or two it just said Von is "in a relationshit" Oh my God, the backlash. Well, I call it backlash. 800 people "liked it" many many many people left a comment. My favorite? "Oh! Von! You make me so happy! I am so happy for you! You deserve all sorts of wonderful things! I'm practically crying I am so happy!!!!" this was from one of the J5 (refresher, the J5 are my step-siblings) I got PISSED. In my own comments I wrote "Thanks, but you all seem to be making a much bigger deal of all this than it actually is...." Then, another fb friend emailed me and said "yeah, I was wondering how you felt about that." I wrote her back that I was pissed. I am pissed!! First of all, it is so not a big deal. To make it a big deal would give R a wrong impression. One that I do not want to give, but have no control over. I cannot not have control over things with R. That would be bad. Second: WTF. Of the 745 people who "liked it", and the many many commentors, REALLY!?!?!? Why am I validated now that I am in a relationship? Did you really think I was a spinster? I've been jokingly calling myself one for a while now, but I was joking, people!!!! You may not understand it, but I love my life. I love every crazy, busy, active, exciting, snarky, second of it. Whether or not I have someone in it to share it with is pretty irrelevant to me. R gets to stick around because not only does he not resent my busy schedule, but he digs it, and is cool with it. He gets to stay because he compliments my life, not takes away from it. Also since teh f.b. status change, I've gotten more emails from the J5 and a few others with offers of things to do, invites, etc. C'mon, people. I am NOT stupid!! You don't want to see me, you want to meet R. You've done your f.b. stalking, you're curious, you aren't smart enough to just call me and ask about him, so you want to meet him. Well, you can wait. We aren't there yet. I don't know when we will be, but when we do, y'all are at the bottom of the list. We are not a side-show, our relationshit does not exist for your entertainment. See, you want to meet him, then you want to go off and talk about him, and me, and the us that is us. I'm not going to give you that pleasure. Not right now. I am me. Still me, always me.

Hey, you.

P.S. Have a nice weekend. I mean it, I really really do. I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy in the general direction of my bloggy friends today, so take it and run with it. Chicago? Sunny and 60 today, Sleet/rain/snow tomorrow and Sunday. F*ck you, Chicago weather, f#ck you.