.......just like that, I turned in to a girl.
I woke up this morning with all the longing and self-loathing of Bridget Jones (the first movie).
Trust me, the thoughts in my head are not pretty right now. For example, they keep telling me I am not pretty.
So, I'm just going to spare you the whining.
Tomorrow night I head to the "south side" aka Bridgeport neighborhood. The tricycle of awesome will ride before we head out Saturday with many many people - I think there are 16 of us - to New Glarus Wisconsin for a long weekend. What's there? BEER. Really good beer, that they do not sell anywhere in Illinois.
We're even renting a minivan. (miniVON?) No, silly, not for carpooling - for hauling home MORE BEER.
I need this little trip right now. I need to clear my head, and remind myself that I have value.
Promise to be back on the flip side, with less whining and pining and more fun.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Pissing me off
My head is kinda getting ready to explode.
The back story:
Y'all know I work part time at a music school/concert venue. There are a couple of hundred people that work and volunteer there. I am on the concert staff, which puts me in regular contact with a small portion of these employees and volunteers.
There are many "buckets" of people at Old Town - teachers, concert staff, admin staff (with many sub-groups), store staff, desk staff, etc.
Sadly - the desk staff lost one of their own to colon cancer at the devastatingly young age of 31. She had fought the fight for something like five years.
I fully and honestly admit - I did not know her. I knew of her. I know that many of the people at Old Town that I consider friends did know her and were close to her and are grieving. I have privately contacted most of them to give my condolences and let them know I am thinking of them, in their time of loss.
NOW, what's pissing me off.
So, I'm pretty good at being aware of things, and I consider myself very smart. Old Town is my favorite thing, so I make a point to know what is what over there.
That being said, I can pretty confidently state the following:
There is a surprising number of people that am glomming on to the grief train who either didn't know her at all, or barely knew her, or never even crossed paths with her.
They are posting things on facebook, and they practically live blogged the memorial service that was held at Old Town.
I cannot imagine why they are doing this.
If they were actually impacted by this horrible thing, then they should do something like, I don't know, maybe donate to colon cancer research, or to the film that is in the works about this young woman?
I hate to say it, but to me it feels like they themselves need some kind of attention, or need to be in the middle of things because it's affecting the Old Town community. Honestly - not caring for the right reasons.
I was very sad when I heard the news - sad for my friends who lost a friend so young. I was also reminded of the young people I have lost in my life, and there have been far too many of those. But I posted nothing on facebook. I did not go to the memorial at Old Town (though open to the public, I didn't feel right about going).
And I sure as hell will not be acknowledging any of these phony people on this topic.
May angels lead you in B.
The back story:
Y'all know I work part time at a music school/concert venue. There are a couple of hundred people that work and volunteer there. I am on the concert staff, which puts me in regular contact with a small portion of these employees and volunteers.
There are many "buckets" of people at Old Town - teachers, concert staff, admin staff (with many sub-groups), store staff, desk staff, etc.
Sadly - the desk staff lost one of their own to colon cancer at the devastatingly young age of 31. She had fought the fight for something like five years.
I fully and honestly admit - I did not know her. I knew of her. I know that many of the people at Old Town that I consider friends did know her and were close to her and are grieving. I have privately contacted most of them to give my condolences and let them know I am thinking of them, in their time of loss.
NOW, what's pissing me off.
So, I'm pretty good at being aware of things, and I consider myself very smart. Old Town is my favorite thing, so I make a point to know what is what over there.
That being said, I can pretty confidently state the following:
There is a surprising number of people that am glomming on to the grief train who either didn't know her at all, or barely knew her, or never even crossed paths with her.
They are posting things on facebook, and they practically live blogged the memorial service that was held at Old Town.
I cannot imagine why they are doing this.
If they were actually impacted by this horrible thing, then they should do something like, I don't know, maybe donate to colon cancer research, or to the film that is in the works about this young woman?
I hate to say it, but to me it feels like they themselves need some kind of attention, or need to be in the middle of things because it's affecting the Old Town community. Honestly - not caring for the right reasons.
I was very sad when I heard the news - sad for my friends who lost a friend so young. I was also reminded of the young people I have lost in my life, and there have been far too many of those. But I posted nothing on facebook. I did not go to the memorial at Old Town (though open to the public, I didn't feel right about going).
And I sure as hell will not be acknowledging any of these phony people on this topic.
May angels lead you in B.
Friday, March 23, 2012
Update
I think it's only fair to give you the basics.
So, about two weeks ago, VonMom got sick.
VonMom NEVER gets sick.
So, she got pretty bad and after a week she went to the doctor.
VONMOM NEVER EVER GOES TO THE DOCTOR.
I'd venture a guess she hasn't been to a doctor since she had me, so, you know a while ago.
Of course, many many tests were done.
VonMom prepared for the worst.
Um, yeah.
She's healthier than I am pretty much. No nothing. No cancer, no high blood pressure, no cholesterol issues. Nothing. Minorly elevated blood sugar (of no concern), minorly "off" thyroid (of no concern).
The upside is she's about 2 weeks smoke free.
And she's learned that not all doctors just hand out death sentences.
VonMom is the queen of conspiracy theories.
Now we continue to check in on her, as she's still getting over the initial bronchitis nasty thing she's been fighting.
And we get back to what we call "our new normal".
Which is us, without VonDad.
Back to the diner tomorrow morning, then off to put gas in her car and buy dog food. All before guitar class.
Looks like I'll have more time to get on her nerves.
So, thanks friends, for all of your kind words.
So, about two weeks ago, VonMom got sick.
VonMom NEVER gets sick.
So, she got pretty bad and after a week she went to the doctor.
VONMOM NEVER EVER GOES TO THE DOCTOR.
I'd venture a guess she hasn't been to a doctor since she had me, so, you know a while ago.
Of course, many many tests were done.
VonMom prepared for the worst.
Um, yeah.
She's healthier than I am pretty much. No nothing. No cancer, no high blood pressure, no cholesterol issues. Nothing. Minorly elevated blood sugar (of no concern), minorly "off" thyroid (of no concern).
The upside is she's about 2 weeks smoke free.
And she's learned that not all doctors just hand out death sentences.
VonMom is the queen of conspiracy theories.
Now we continue to check in on her, as she's still getting over the initial bronchitis nasty thing she's been fighting.
And we get back to what we call "our new normal".
Which is us, without VonDad.
Back to the diner tomorrow morning, then off to put gas in her car and buy dog food. All before guitar class.
Looks like I'll have more time to get on her nerves.
So, thanks friends, for all of your kind words.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Serious McSerious pants
So, had some issues this weekend that I'm choosing not to delve into.
But.
I'd like to write a post about something a little more serious, just because it's on my mind.
Over the weekend, I unexpectedly spent the better part of a day alone in the house I grew up in. At first, I was intrigued and guiltily skulked around opening drawers and cabinets.
I went up to my old room and looked around. It's very clearly my old room, as there are still some belongings of mine there. Some silly (cabbage patch dolls?) some painfully important (the materials purchased for the wedding dress I never got made), but still, my stuff.
I went into VonSis's old room, and dug a little. Meh, not as much there.
Back downstairs I went to the main floor. I sat in the living room - still only used on Christmas Eve. I sat on the couch and had a good cry over VonDad. It was such a crushing feeling of loss, like it was yesterday. I ended up talking to him for a good long while. No, he didn't answer me.
Roxie (VonMom's dog) persuaded me to go outside with her for a while. I don't think she's a fan of crying. We went out into the massive and glorious yard of my youth. Giggle. Ok, not just my youth. I went over to the exact area that my old boyfriend and I used to lie in the middle of the night just talking and smoking cigarettes, sometimes fighting, mostly not, him terrified that my 130 lb Alaskan Malamute Kodi would come outside and join us at any moment. Me, I was terrified of my parents coming out to find us there. It was the perfect spot, as they were none the wiser.
I walked back over to the patio, at the little cement square that shouldn't be there but is because I had to had to had to have a basketball hoop in junior high.
I went back inside and sat down in the kitchen.
It was there that it hit me - one day (and I so hope it's a long way off) my siblings and I are going to have to go through that house room by room, memory by memory and sell / give away / box up everything in it. Someday, another family will live there - or worse - someone will tear it down because they are more interested in the large lot of land just sitting there in Chicago.
I moved in to that house when I was 5. I consider it where my life actually began. And the sneaking thought behind all of this was that someday, I'm going to lose VonMom too. We've really barely just begun appreciating each other, and really liking spending time together.
Someday, I'll be a grown up for real. No, I'll likely never act like one, but someday I'll have to be one because I will have to live the rest of my life without my parents.
I know this is a ramble, but it's coming out of my heart-place instead of my head-place.
So there it is.
But.
I'd like to write a post about something a little more serious, just because it's on my mind.
Over the weekend, I unexpectedly spent the better part of a day alone in the house I grew up in. At first, I was intrigued and guiltily skulked around opening drawers and cabinets.
I went up to my old room and looked around. It's very clearly my old room, as there are still some belongings of mine there. Some silly (cabbage patch dolls?) some painfully important (the materials purchased for the wedding dress I never got made), but still, my stuff.
I went into VonSis's old room, and dug a little. Meh, not as much there.
Back downstairs I went to the main floor. I sat in the living room - still only used on Christmas Eve. I sat on the couch and had a good cry over VonDad. It was such a crushing feeling of loss, like it was yesterday. I ended up talking to him for a good long while. No, he didn't answer me.
Roxie (VonMom's dog) persuaded me to go outside with her for a while. I don't think she's a fan of crying. We went out into the massive and glorious yard of my youth. Giggle. Ok, not just my youth. I went over to the exact area that my old boyfriend and I used to lie in the middle of the night just talking and smoking cigarettes, sometimes fighting, mostly not, him terrified that my 130 lb Alaskan Malamute Kodi would come outside and join us at any moment. Me, I was terrified of my parents coming out to find us there. It was the perfect spot, as they were none the wiser.
I walked back over to the patio, at the little cement square that shouldn't be there but is because I had to had to had to have a basketball hoop in junior high.
I went back inside and sat down in the kitchen.
It was there that it hit me - one day (and I so hope it's a long way off) my siblings and I are going to have to go through that house room by room, memory by memory and sell / give away / box up everything in it. Someday, another family will live there - or worse - someone will tear it down because they are more interested in the large lot of land just sitting there in Chicago.
I moved in to that house when I was 5. I consider it where my life actually began. And the sneaking thought behind all of this was that someday, I'm going to lose VonMom too. We've really barely just begun appreciating each other, and really liking spending time together.
Someday, I'll be a grown up for real. No, I'll likely never act like one, but someday I'll have to be one because I will have to live the rest of my life without my parents.
I know this is a ramble, but it's coming out of my heart-place instead of my head-place.
So there it is.
Friday, March 16, 2012
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Busy busy V
I DO apologize for my absence.
Monday, I took a day off of work, a personal day. See, I was out late on Sunday, and I.....
Anyway.
I went to Kuma's and slept and then went to a four hour meeting.
YES
I got an iPad, and it's - distracting, to say the least. But, alas, book club book is not going to read itself, the guitar is not going to play itself, the blog is not going to write itself. So I had to detach the iPad from my fat little fingers and put it down. It's not even sleeping, it's off.
p.s. - the blogger app? SUCKS
I think I have for real this time no joke hit my limit of activity.
An update:
I don't really think I'm going to change any of the things, but I do think I need to figure out some way to have more resting time.
And if anyone can tell me how to bar a chord without having the rest of my fingers get all screwy and cramped up, that would be awesome.*
*Musicians' note: Acoustic advice only. Rumor has it it's a lot easier to bar on an electric. m'kay?
Monday, I took a day off of work, a personal day. See, I was out late on Sunday, and I.....
Anyway.
I went to Kuma's and slept and then went to a four hour meeting.
YES
I got an iPad, and it's - distracting, to say the least. But, alas, book club book is not going to read itself, the guitar is not going to play itself, the blog is not going to write itself. So I had to detach the iPad from my fat little fingers and put it down. It's not even sleeping, it's off.
p.s. - the blogger app? SUCKS
I think I have for real this time no joke hit my limit of activity.
An update:
- Full time job
- Part time job
- Board of directors director(ship? ness?)
- Sit on three committees
- Breakfast with VonMom every Saturday at 8:30
- Guitar class every Saturday at 11:00
- Family stuff
- Friend stuff
- and oh, yeah, write VFN
I don't really think I'm going to change any of the things, but I do think I need to figure out some way to have more resting time.
And if anyone can tell me how to bar a chord without having the rest of my fingers get all screwy and cramped up, that would be awesome.*
*Musicians' note: Acoustic advice only. Rumor has it it's a lot easier to bar on an electric. m'kay?
Friday, March 9, 2012
Friday Fun Times!! A return!
Your assignment, should you choose to humor me:
Describe yourself using only song lyrics. The only rule is you must only use one song, no mashups this time around. Oh, and you have to supply title and artist.
Mine:
She's sun and rain
She's fire and ice
A little crazy but it's nice
And when she gets mad, best leave her alone
*Every Woman - Garth Brooks
Happy Friday you tuneful peoples
Describe yourself using only song lyrics. The only rule is you must only use one song, no mashups this time around. Oh, and you have to supply title and artist.
Mine:
She's sun and rain
She's fire and ice
A little crazy but it's nice
And when she gets mad, best leave her alone
*Every Woman - Garth Brooks
Happy Friday you tuneful peoples
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)