Giving Thanks

Top 10 things I am thankful for: 1. My job. I'm no idiot. Every day. Every day I am thankful for the job that I have, and the wonderful company and people that I work for and with. I am so very lucky. I know what things are like out there, everywhere. Not only am I thankful to have a job, but I am thankful to have a great job. 2. My apartment. Even though I don't own it, I am thankful that I have a warm, cozy, cute place to live. I can paint it however I like, have a great backyard I can entertain in. 3. I'm thankful for my name. I know, it's a little weird. Let me explain. Up until the last 5 years or so, I hated my name. I don't know why I changed my mind, but now I really love it. It's unique, and allows for nicknames a plenty. I'm thankful my mom forgot what she was actually going to name me - Yvette, I am certainly NOT an Yvette - and bestowed on me the awesome name that is mine until the end. (p.s. - for those of you that don't know, my real and actual VonMom given name is Yvonne) 4. I am thankful for the 15 months and 1 day that I have not smoked a cigarette. You can do it MenD!! 5. I am thankful for the fact that I have not one but two places to go tomorrow. Sure, I bitch about the stepfam, but they like me a whole lot. So does my goddaughter, who is so excited about me coming back this year that she was hopping around the house last Saturday. I might even be NICE to the stepfam. We'll see. Ido plan to stay late at Chris' house and hang out with my awesome goddaughter. I'm thankful for her, too. 6. I am thankful for the Old Town School. I love it there. I feel my absolute best when I am there. After three years volunteering there, it never gets old. I love the music, the staff, the other volunteers (ok, most of them), the way I'm treated there. They really appreciate us there. No politics, no b.s. 7. I am so so so thankful for my friends. Old and new. Chicagoan, Bostonians, Internets, etc. Those I've known 20 years are just as valuable as those I've known less than 1 year. I am blessed to know all of you. I love all of you. I would not be the person I am were it not for you. You all make me a better person. 8. I am thankful for my family. Family is a relative term, especially in my life. Germans, Canadians, actuals, step, Sil1x, etc. 9. I am thankful for iTunes, my iPod, my laptop and Netflix. All of these things will get me through my long weekend. A little materialism is okey dokey in my book. 10. Finally, I am thankful for carbohydrates, without which I would never enjoy Thanksgiving. Ah, sweet carbs, come to mama. Wishing you all a wonderful Thanksgiving. Eat well, sleep in, have a drink or two.

A quick follow up

Thanks, all of you, for the support. (I seem to keep thanking you all, for many things, but you all are awesome) A quick follow up: Ok, sure I am still charmingly chubby, but I'm cool with it. I have enough self-confidence for me, and for all of them. I have no pimples. I am no longer dishwater blonde, but expensively and expertly Blonde. I AM Irish enough. Not only do I immerse myself in all things Irish, but I also play and sing Irish music, and well. Tin whistle? Check. Bodhran? Check. - I doubt they even know what a bodhran is, or how to pronounce it. It took me a while, I'm embarrassed to admit, but my parents neighborhood is beautiful. Not only is their house gorgeous and huge, but their neighborhood is awesome and close knit. I wouldn't have wanted to grow up anywhere else. Keep your Sauganash and your Lincolnwood - Forest Glen suits me just fine. And Lauren had a great point. My trip to Boston was fantastic. There's nothing I would rather have been doing that weekend. My new Boston friends are genuine, and awesome, and good people. They make me laugh. Even though I have known them a short time, I hope to be friends with them and the people that introduced me to them for many years to come. Hm. I think I am starting to feel better about this......

I need a hug

I wish I could lie and say I was popular in grammar school. The truth of the matter is I wasn't. Not by a long shot. I was the chubby dishwater blonde girl with the pimples and the bad perms. I wasn't Irish enough. We didn't live in the right neighborhood. I coached basketball instead of played it. I got good grades, and stopped trying to impress the popular crowd by mid-7th grade. Could it be all of these reasons that I didn't get invited to my 20th reunion party? No, oh no dear readers. I'm not kidding. I wasn't invited. After I left the evils of QAS behind in the fall of 1988, I knew that I was destined for better and cooler things. I threw myself into activities. I lost a little weight. I discovered Medusa's. I also discovered that it's much more awesome to just be myself, than try to fit in. Strangely, when I did my own thing I made friends. Lots of them. All different types and shapes and sizes. My high school years were fantastic. My couple of college years were awesome too. Every year after that (and there have been a few) has been better and better. For the most part, I really like myself. I love that I do a lot of different things, and that I know a ton of people. VonMom likes to say that I am like my dad in that no matter where I go, I always run into someone I know. This is true. I know a lot of people. Friends, acquaintances, people I have volunteered with/gotten drunk with/made music with/learned with/lost with....these people are everywhere. I love people. - Ok. I really do. As long as they aren't lame annoying people. All of this is a direct result of who I was, the person I was beaten down to, when I left eighth grade. I left those people and they way they behaved way way behind me. True story: While at a party my freshman year at NEIU, I ran into one of the guys that tormented me the most in grammar school. I wasn't exactly sober. G looked at me, I gave him the finger. Drunk as I was, I knew exactly who he was. He finally figured out who I was. I ignored him as best I could, but the party wasn't that big. He kept being around. I was my usual self, trying to make people laugh, having a good time. A few days after the party I ran into G at school. He stopped me and said "I wanted to apologize to you." I stood there, waiting for some asshole comment or other. Then he said "I'm sorry I was such a jerk to you in school. You're pretty cool, and I'm sorry I didn't see that before." I saw him a few times after that (he was friends with my to-this-day very good friend John) and I hated him a little less. Still, what he said made me glow a little. The reason I am writing this blog is that I'm pissed. Frustrated, mostly, with myself that those people that I went to grammar school still affect me so much. I found out about the reunion party when I talked to JL, the one person I reconnected with from QAS. JL is good people. I found him on myspace early in 2007. We got together had some beers and we made each other laugh. I think we are friends again, which is great. Anyway, we were talking on the phone, and he mentioned that he had run into another one of the QAS people somewhere, B. B told JL about the party. JL hadn't gotten actually invited either. JL told me. He asked if I wanted to go. That ended up being the weekend that I went to Boston, so I had an easy out. I don't think I would have gone anyway. JL went. I haven't had the chance to hear how it was, I'll need to call him to find out. A thought: Really? Did they even try to locate everyone? I mean, my parents live in the same house we lived in when I went to school there, so it's not like they couldn't find a mailing address. Assholes. I really feel that they invited the same people that they hung out with 20 years ago. I'm assuming that reflects on how little they have changed or matured as people. I looked at some of their facebook pages, and I found a couple of pictures of myself on their pages. Do they look at these pictures and not even realize that there are other people in those pictures beside them and their friends? Why am I even in those pictures? I have no memory of this. I am really mad at myself for being so affected. Fact: I would not have gone had I been in town. Fact: I don't really want to ever see those people again. These truths being said, I don't know why I am so upset about this whole thing. Maybe I wish it had been my option to not go. For all of the strides I've made, I feel like this whole situation has knocked me for a loop. I know that I do make fun of myself quite a bit, and it is because I do it before someone else can - this is one piece of baggage I carry from grammar school. I just need to remind myself that all the good that I am, all the fun, and the cool, are also a result of them. I worked really hard to never be that girl again. I do still like myself a lot. This is a speed bump, a minor set back. I haven't thought about them in years, and I want to get back to that, I don't want to be thinking of them now. I just needed to get that off my chest. QAS people suck.

Update

O M G I knew it, I just knew it. The CDs are fantastic. I see what will be playing nonstop on my stereo this weekend....

A happy dose of awesome

So, I was going to just grumble about how tired I am. See, I had to go to this thing that I didn't want to go to, from which I didn't get home until 11:30ish. After which I woke up this morning with 7 minutes - 7 minutes - to get up, dressed, teeth brushed, out the door to go to work. However. Two awesome things happened yesterday. Maybe three. First: At the thing I didn't want to go to, there was a silent auction. I zeroed in on this Lincoln Square print. I had seen this print all over the place over the summer, but I just didn't buy it. I regretted not getting it, and when I went looking for it, of course, it was gone. Sigh. Well, there it was last night, up for auction, in a package with two bottles of wine (nice), two darling wine glasses, an embroidered Lincoln Square tote, and a tie with all of the Chicago neighborhoods all over it. I said to myself: "Self. I WANT THAT". So I bid. And bid. And was forced to bid again. AND I WON. Sure, is it all really worth $160? Dunno. Do I really have $160? Not really. But the print all all of the goodies are Mine, m i n e, MINE!! And, I am trading sister the tie for the sonicare toothbrush she won as part of an auction item. Sweet!! Second: I got home all cold and tired and excited with my winnings, when what to my wandering eyes should appear in my mail? Ok, yes, bills. But also......(this is a drumroll.....) an envelope from BillyRottenPilgrimMcDonald!!!! Oooooh. I opened it, and there are not one, but TWO CDs!!! And, as I recall, BPRM gifts music to those he likes. He likes me! He really likes me!!! I cannot wait to listen to them! For all of the things I forgot this morning, like my lunch, my water bottle, my phone charger- remember, 7 minutes from bed to car - I remembered to bring the CDs!! I am about to give them a listen! I already know two important things that make these CDs like gold a) The man has awesome/fantastic/extensive musical tastes and b) we have very similar taste in music. This is going to r o c k. Kinda third: I'm not going to lie. I did enjoy people telling me I looked nice yesterday. I wore a black dress, black tights, black shoes, awesome black and white headband and silver jewelry. Those that matter most (sister, sil1x) told me I looked nice, among others, and more said it more than once. I will admit part of the reason I looked nicer was I wanted the germans to know what they are missing out on, and that I could have represented them well, professionally and with style. Too bad for them, so sad. I might be a little inspired to dress/look a little classier in 09. Not sure how committed to that I am, we'll see. But it was nice to get compliments. A little bit of snark: I will admit to one snarky/bitchy moment last night. When one of the newly elected board members asked me if I will be attending the Bach concert this Sunday at the place that finds me unworthy, I said "No, I'm working a show at Old Town. They remain my first volunteering priority." and under my breath "they like me there". It may have been a little to soon for me to be there, I think. Ok, must go listen to the CDs. Have a lovely weekend. I hope it is warmer wherever you are. *Chicago current temperature? 18 degrees*

Quirky? Bleh.

I am not quirky. I know of a few folks who think, nay, pride themselves on being "quirky". I think they define themselves by going against the grain. What grain? Who's grain? What are you against exactly? They shop at thrift stores. I'm sorry you're broke - stop drinking so much, you could at least buy one or two items at, say, Target for the $$ you spend on booze. They decorate weird. Ikea - ever heard of it? Beats the hell out of old garbage picked milk cartons. They look down upon those who either a) aren't quirky like them or b) don't put them on a pedestal for being so gosh darn quirky. Get over yourselves. You know, they think they are unique. Let me fill you in on something, when all of their friends, and a lot of the people they associate with look Just.Like.Them, show me what is so unique about that. To each their own I guess, but they annoy me. Me? I'm just me. A little of this, a smidge of that. A dash of that other over there. Never the same way too much of the time. I'm a diamond - too many facets to count. But a regular, plain old diamond. Who'd buy a quirky diamond anyway?

Meh

My weekend. Sigh. A varied and interesting state of affairs. Upside: Lauren!! Got to see her Saturday night, and Sunday! Friday night dinner at Olive Garden (I don't care, I love it there!) with my sister, Sil1x, and Bubbles. Met new best friend. Heard some wonderful news. Brunch at Tweet OMG so freakin' good! Lovely party for Shannon's birthday. Fantastic foods, beer, free parking, watching La Pequena and Dan Band videos on UTube. Started back again at FatCamp (oh, uh, AKA Weight Watchers) Saw Sil1x AGAIN on Sunday! Not-quite-red but scrumptious red velvet cupcakes. Made from scratch. Little hot fudge sundae made with peppermint ice cream, meant to make me feel better. Downside: Measurable snow. Self-important assholes. "Made of Honor" not so good, even with McDreamy and McKidd. Missing Charlie a lot on the weekends. People drank my beer. Started back at FatCamp (W2) Got some startling news. Though we begged and pleaded, Lauren went back to Boston. Didn't finish reading the book I was sure I'd get through this weekend. Nailpolish put on yesterday, already chipping. People dragging me into the extremely childish bull shit. A bunch of germans let me know that I am not good enough to represent them. So, yeah. Some big highlights, and some sucky lows. What can you do? TGIM? Does that work? Thank God it's Monday? We'll see.... ***Happy Birthday Shannon!*******

Yippee! It's here!

Just got the official word, and I couldn't be happier! For those of you in the listening area of "greater Chicagoland" 93.9 is now officially the Holiday Light!!! Yep, they flipped the switch at 8:30 this morning. All Christmas music all the time, until like midnight 12/25 or something. Doesn't matter when it ends, it's on right now! George Michael is crooning all about "Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, you gave it away...." as I type this! *for those of you who aren't familiar with the Holiday Light, they are notorious for starting Christmas music on November 1st for the past few years. They didn't do it this year, and I for one have been anxiously waiting to see when they would start.

A mixed bag

First things first: Some people just can't handle the snark. I got a somewhat nasty email today from one of the stepsisters in response to my humorous email requesting holiday gift lists for her offspring. Seriously? Shit. If I am spending my hard earned $$ on your kid, you should know my sense of humor by now. Especially if you are "family". Geesh. I basically told her to get a sense of humor, and get me a freakin' list. Topic two: I like the word asinine. I like it a lot. It randomly popped into my mind today, while I was listening to an asinine conversation at work. I was annoyed at the forementioned conversaton, until I got distracted by my love of the word asinine. Am I even spelling it right? Don't know, just love it. Next: Lauren is here!!! Squeee! I will see her Saturday night, and Sunday, and I love the company that she works for that sent her here for a conference or meeting or something! And then: I only officially decided a few days ago that I will be decorating for the holidays this year. I wasn't going to (mostly because we lost Charlie) but then I realized that I'll probably be more chipper this season if I do. Now that I've made that decision, I can't WAIT! My sister found the exact trees I was looking for, so I'm trying something new this year, and I'm so ready to get started.

I am currently having some weird brain thing going on. I've noticed in elevators that when my mind starts to wander, it starts listing band names, A to Z. For example: 'Abba, Black Sabbath, Credence Clearwater Revival, Dr. Dre, ELO, etc, etc, etc.... This is a game Shannon, TheMarty and I played on that final stretch home from Boston, when we were in a whiteout snow storm in Indiana. This was more than 3 weeks ago. I don't know what my problem is.

Have a nice weekend. (betcha at least ONE of you - I'm looking at you, Rotten, is running through band names alphabetically now too....)

Und you vill b a k e

So, yeah. It's that time of year! As one of Four esteemed judges in this year's RoD Holiday bake off, I implore you to get involved!! I await your criscocarbychocolateycreations! Go here for details: http://republicofdogs.net/?p=3873 And for realz, as I am the judge with the nut allergy, and I think y'all like me a little - No Nuts. On behalf of Claire, Shannon, and TheMarty, thank you in advance for your participation!! Let's make this FIERCE. My fingers are crossed for another video of snark or two this year, that was Fantastic last year!! Now, get thee to thy kitchens.....I'm waiting!

Full moon or something?

It's gotta be a full moon. Or Something. I've been a little feisty of late. Examples: Saturday I went to see Zack and Miri with Laura. Somehow Laura made friends with this awesome really old dude walking from the parking lot to the theatre. So, Laura and I were in line for snacks, and AwesomeOldDude and his equally awesome friend were right in front of us in line. AOD turns around and said to us "So, what movie are you going to see?" Without skipping a beat I say "Zack and Miri make a PORNO" see, I had to talk LOUD in case he had hearing loss. Laura shook her head, AOD looks at me a second and says "What kind of movie is that?" I say "Oh, you know, it's a comedy. What are you going to see?" "That new Clint Eastwood picture." yet he was still looking at me like I had lost my marbles. We part ways at the concession stand. Laura and I walk into our theatre, and there are the two AODs. I walk right up to them and say "Honey, you are in the wrong theatre! This is the PORNO movie, no Clint Eastwood in here!" Laura giggled behind me. AOD says "Oh, I know. We're just waiting to be let into our theatre." I say "Ok then, I didn't want you to get all confused or anything." Tee hee. So, today I sent an email to people in my life that have children that I will be doing some holiday shopping for. Instead of being nice and/or normal, my email was terse and threatening. I let them know that if they don't provide me with lists for their offspring, and soon, that they would have to explain to their offspring why they got expired coupons and gas station aftershave. They think I'm kidding. I wouldn't tempt me if I were them. As I wrote in the email 'Von don't play.' I just got back from my goddaughter's girl scout investment thingy. (It's this psuedo-ceremony in the school gym). I love my little gd, so I go to as many of her things as I can. I don't really like the people at her school - see, she goes to the elite snotty evil catholic grammar school that I went to. It's a great school, but the people suck. Anyway, so, I'm standing there with C, gd's mother. We're busy making fun of the kids, and some of the parents, drinking our Hawaiin punch. (mmmm red sugar mustache) One of the parents comes over and starts talking to us about what we think about the kids going and singing to the felician sisters. Only she didn't pronounce felician properly. No, she said 'fellation' (I shit you not). So, instead of correcting her politely, I just kept getting her to say felician. FELLATION. Over and over and over again, I got the snobby mcsnooterson to say fellation sisters. I was shaking, I was trying so hard not to laugh in her face. C wanted to punch me. She did pinch me in the arm, trying to get me to stop it, but I just couldn't. It was way too easy. I love feisty, and I love snarky. They make me ME.

Boston? Wicked Pissah!

Our trip to Boston was just that - wicked pissah. Wicked and wicked pissah are my new most favorite things to say. I am going to infiltrate Chicago with these Bostonian words because I love them that much. 18 hours in a car ain't no thing when it's with Shannon and TheMarty. I was able to stay awake from 9pm when they picked me up until about 4:30 am on our way there. I vaguely remember stopping for breakfast somewhere near Rochester NY. Really, don't remember that. I do remember getting really sick and tired of rest stop bathrooms about 9 hours into the trip. Somehow, we arrived at Lauren and Greg's exactly at 4pm east coast time, just as was on Shannon's itinerary. Weeeirrrrdd. After getting settled we all met up and took the T to Boston to see Great Big Sea. Oh.My.God. I LOVE this band. I can't believe I've never heard of this band before!!! And! And they have a member who plays the bodhran!!! Squeeeee...... While trying to get comfortable during the intermission (the seats were made for little people. Really little people - like midgets) Hilary noticed that the guys in front of us were swearing a lot. How did she handle this? By leaning forward and saying: "Hey, you're f*cking swearing a f*cking lot." One of the guys (H O T) had me laughing my midwestern ass off by running down the litany of Boston stereotype chatter. The whole "paaak the caaaa in Haaavaaad yaaaad" and on and on. Too too funny. Saturday we went shopping. Is New England the reason that the word "quaint" was invented? I think so! We headed to this little country store thing which was gigantic with antiques and awesomeness. On our way back to Hilary and Dave's house, Dave told me this little joke: "Von. What's the difference between pink and purple?" "What?" "Her grip." Bawhaaaaahawhawwwww That's pretty much how we talked to each other all weekend. Jokes and dirty humor abounded. We all met up at Lauren and Greg's before heading to the party. The costumes are as follows: Von - witch (lame, I know. Bad planning). Shannon - sexy snow white. Marty - Dave (of the her grip joke) Dave - Red Sox fan Hilary - Crazy cat lady Lauren - Dr. Who Greg - Captain Jack from Torchwood Eric - the JOhn 3:16 guy. The party was wicked awesome. Lauren's parents have converted their garage into the most fantastic party barnthing evah. There were decorations everywhere, and lights, and seats and a woodstove and awesomeness. I loved it. There was a ton of food, which was good because the cider that Hil made was STRONG!! Someone, Eric I think? bought a beer called Monstah (for real) in honor of my obsession with the boston accent. I got a little drunk pretty fast. It was the cider - that delicious nectar. Mmmm. Rum! Sunday we got started a little late, I wonder why! We all (minus Hil) headed in to Boston to see the sights. We had the best weather that weekend. It was upper 60s low 70s all weekend long. We went to No Name seafood for some chowdah. The best seafood chowder in Boston? Don't know, but it was mmmm good!! We all ate a big lunch there, and headed over to a Contemporary Art place. Ok, I'll be honest, I'm not a fan of contemporary art, but I was just going along with the crowd. I walked in to one "exhibit" where there was some light on the floor or something. There were a bunch of people in the room looking at the light or something. I turned around, and Eric was behind me. I said, "Oh, f*ck no." and walked out. Eric shrugged and laughed. Turns out Dave is about as much of a Contemp Art fan as I am, so we walked around together making fun of the exhibits and the people that love them. Good times. We walked around the city, and Dave told me a bunch of bullshit stories about the famous people and historical figures in and around Boston. I believed him at first, but I caught on eventually. We had dinner Sunday night at this wicked pissah place called Chatta Box and then got ice cream from some place where the cows that make the ice cream live right there. Again, I say quaint!! 4 am came much too soon! Our trip home included 2 hail storms, and a SNOW STORM in Indiana. I kid you not. White out blasting the car snow storm. Sigh. I wish we could have stayed in Boston a few more days. I'd love to go back, and soon!! Lauren, Greg, Hilary, Dave and Eric - you guys are wicked pissah. Can people be that? I hope so, because you are. Here are some pictures from our trip:

Dear People that threw Charlie away 8 years ago,

Thank you. Thank you for giving him up, whatever your reasons were. I forgive you for messing up his teeth, we didn't mind getting them cleaned every year. I wonder what you did that made him never want to play, but I will forgive you that too. Had you not tossed him out, he would have never found his way to us. I think you tossed away the best dog you never got the chance to know - I feel a little sorry for you. Let me tell you what you missed.

You missed not just a good dog, but a great dog. You missed the little hero, who, when I fell down some stairs stood by my side and barked until my brother-in-law came to see what the problem was. You missed the silly little "circus dog" who made a game out of running around my little apartment and jumping onto the couch and over the back of it. You missed my friend who danced on his back legs around the Christmas tree, looking for that one candy cane that I might have hung just low enough for him to grab.

You missed the little alarm clock, who didn't care how much I had to drink the night before, if it was a weekend, he was barking at me either from the doorway or from inches from my face right around 8 am, without fail.

You missed the winter cuddler, who would patiently wait for me to sit with my legs tucked just so, so he could jump up and curl right into the nook he thought I made just for him. You also missed the comedian who made my sister and I cry with laughter when we tried to get him to wear "snow booties". You missed the life of every party. We had to almost physically check many of our guests to make sure they weren't walking away with a beagle parting gift.

You missed the magic dog who seemed to grow in height and weight whenever he deigned to sleep up on the bed with me. I swear, he became as big as a St. Bernard sometimes.....

You missed the furriest best kleenex, if anyone was crying, Charlie would go to that person and sit right up next to them 'here', he seemed to say 'use my scruff for a cuddle and a sniffle, that's what I'm here for.' You missed the dog who couldn't hate the dog beach more. He wrapped his entire body around my legs when we got him about 6 inches into the lake - I didn't know a dog could bend like that.

Thank you, so much, for my best friend, my constant companion.

(Ok, now. I got that off my chest. I'm going to take the rest of the week off. I'll be back next week, and I hope to be back to my old bitchy self. Thank you all so much for your kindnesses. Sil1x, thank you for the chocolate and ice cream - Americone! - and for letting me cry on your living room furniture. You and the little one cheered me up more than you can know. Shannon and TheMarty, thank you in advance for the dinner/drinks coming up. I hope to be ready to go out Thursday night, and I'm glad it's with you. All of my friends, old and new, internets and otherwise, thank you all so much for your support - Your reaching out via phone/email/text has made me feel better. I know Charlie loved you all too.)

Bad news

Charlie was put to sleep this morning. I can't say anything further right now. I just got the news myself, and I am debating staying at work or going home. See, I really don't want to go home, but I can't see myself sitting here and sobbing the rest of the day. I'm going to be taking a little blogging break. Thank you all - SO much - for the kind words. It means more than I can say right now.

An update

There are so many topics I want to write about, however, there's something big going on in my life right now, so I don't have the time nor the motivation to blog. Because I count you all among my friends, I'm sharing it with you here. I've just spent half of my Sunday morning crying in my parents' kitchen. I'm afraid that my aweome precious beagle, Charlie, is dying. He's had a back problem for about 5 years that has been getting worse this year. About a month ago, we had to take him to the emergency vet. They thought again it was his back. Things have been going down the tubes since then. This weekend seems to be the worst. He has not gotten up, eaten or really drank any water all weekend. I've made him rice with chicken broth, he wants nothing to do with it. I have to bring water to him in his bed and hope that he drinks a few ounces. He's only been outside once this weekend. I went to my parents' house to talk to them. I walked in the house and immediately started crying. I want the vet to fix him, make him better. I don't want him to suffer anymore, I really do think at this point that he is suffering. My parents told me that our vet (he's been my families vet for 30 years) never makes the final decision for you. I guess we will have to say "I think it's time" and he will either disagree or say "ok". I don't think I can do this. I have to go to work, so it's going to have to be VonSis that takes him to the vet either tomorrow or Tuesday. My dad is going to go with her, for moral support. My parents came over a little bit ago. I know they said that they wanted to see how Charlie was doing, but it sure felt like they were saying goodbye. I know that I won't be doing much of anything besides working and taking care of Charlie over the next little while. So, my friends, bear with me. If you think I'm a sap for being so attached to my dog, so be it. But, if you understand where I'm coming from then thanks. Hopefully I'll be back later this week, with some good news.