The return of the transparency project

I've been getting more and more of a short fuse lately about all of the:

• Intentionally cryptic
• Intentionally vague (Vaguebooking)
• First world problems whines
• Passive/aggressive to the nth degree
• Self obssessed small minded

Facebook status updates.

So, instead of ruining "friendships" and having people drop me in their rage, I'm fighting back with the Return of the Transparency Project.

It's really boring as fuck all*

So, each day I will be posting the most mundane details I can think of at 6:45 am.

Here's part of it:
I am wearing pants and an orange shirt.  My eyes itch.  My mood is fair to middlin' (yesterday)

Today I let teh FB know that I had a dream about zombies; that I am wearing a black dress to kinda hide the fact that my nail polish is black this week; and that my headband has a big metal flower on it.

Is this going to drive people crazy? God, I hope so.
Is this going to make people be a little more aware of the piles of crap that they themselves are posting? GOD I HOPE SO.




* = "fuck all" is my new favorite swear term.  I'm still working out the kinks, but I'm totally going to make it a thing

Dad

Here's my Dad. 
I don't think I was there when this was taken, and I don't know when it was taken.
I know that he was in his yard, probably enjoying a hot dog and some fries with any number of his kids and grandkids.
I know he was happy when it was taken.

I love this picture.

Happy Birthday, Dad.

The reason

I won't be blogging much in June.

There's a good reason.

This Saturday, the 9th is (would have been? Was?) my Dad's birthday.  He would have been 72.
Next Sunday - my first Father's Day without my Dad.
Saturday the 23rd - My Mom's birthday, her first without my Dad.

I can barely get out of bed in the morning, much less write anything entertaining.

That whole "time makes it better" thing? Bull shit.

So I think it best to spare you my misery and just not post.  I'll be around, commenting here and there.
But I don't really feel like writing a bunch of posts about him.

I am SO glad that last year for Father's day, I did write a post about/for my Dad. I also posted it on teh FB, so he was able to read it. 
I remember I asked him if he read it.  I gave me a little half smile, and there was a questioning look in his eyes.  He said "Yep. I read it. Very nice, Von."
I wonder if he was trying to tell me something.  I feel now like he knew that I knew that something wasn't quite right, even then, in June.

So just do me a favor - that person that you love most above all others? Tell them so.

But then....

So, y'all read why I'd want to move away.
I felt that way for the better part of a week.  Then, this happened.

5/25: I met Brando and TLB for dinner and drinks.  It was a lovely evening - warm enough to sit outside (with the heaters on) and spend some time.  We had a great time.  I drove home that night thinking about how I really like those two, and I hope that we can become better friends and spend more time together.  Me being me, I had even told them that I'd like to hang out more often, and that I meant it.  They agreed.
5/26: I went to the movies with John and Toni.  John's parents joined us (a surprise to me) and I gave them great big hugs.  As I watched the previews and looked over at these people, I realized that John and Toni are more family than friends, and I wouldn't be the same without them.
5/26: I worked a show at Old Town.  It was an interesting show, something I'd likely not see anywhere else.
5/27: I went to Mars Cheese Castle with delightful God-daughter and her mom.  It was 90+ degrees out, the car had no a/c, and yet we had such a fun time.  Picking on God-daughter, making silly jokes about nothing.  I gave them both big sweaty hugs good bye and told them I loved them.  I thanked C a million times for taking me to the Cheese Castle.  She looked at me like I was crazy.  She thinks that when I need or want something, it's just on her to take care of it.
5/27: I went to a BBQ at T&C's house.  T is someone I have known for years, but we have just recently started hanging out more.  I really only know T&C, and not any of their friends.  Their friends are very interesting and nice.  Always willing to talk to the person (me) that didn't know anyone.  I was included in many conversations, and it was nice that a handful of the people that I had met once before remembered me. 

I left there realizing that there are millions of interesting people out in the world, and yes, even some in Chicago that I have yet to meet.  There are also quite a few people that, while I have broken ground on a friendship, I have not put enough time or effort in to them.  I need to work on that.

5/28: Another hot day, and a few plans in the hopper.  I cancelled all my plans. I was exhausted and my house was a mess. 
While I sat on my couch in the a/c that day, I let my mind wander over the past few days.

I had spent some time with some amazing people.  People who I care a lot about.  People who I could care a lot about.  Some new, some old, some family, some little more than acquaintances, but overall - it was the people that made the weekend, not the things I was doing.

So, if I stay here longer than I think I will, it will be the people that keep me here.

And I'm actually ok with that.