Like an animal

The other day I was driving, and I was flipping through the stations hoping to hear something worth listening to. My car is woefully ill-equipped for my musical demands. After a few button pushes, I heard the very beginning of a song. I was so excited. I could barely stand it. The song was "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails. See, I have this thing about music. I am addicted to it. I love music. I have a song for every thing, and every person and every important moment. A song can bring me right back to a memory. This particular song, this particular memory is strong, and awesome, and makes me smile. When I was 21, my friends and I hung out at this bar/club every Friday. I mean Every Friday. We were such regulars that if we were late, no one would take our table, which was prime real estate, right next to the dj booth and dance floor, and the closest table to the bar. The place was called Shadows. It was so bad that it was good. Black walls with Neon bright paint everywhere. Friday nights were flash back dance parties. No cover befoe 11, and Miller Lite was $1.50. Rediculous good times were had there from open to close, every week. We weren't the only regulars, so after a while all regulars became familiar. These were people that if you saw them by the light of day, on, say, a Tuesday, you would give each other a knowing nod - a 'see you Friday' tilt of the head. One of these regulars was a guy we referred to (unbeknownst to him of course) as Chisel Face. His features were so perfect it was like he was chisled from marble. We had encountered Chisel Face for the first time during our teen-aged years when we hung out at this other club, a goth/punk/alternative playground of a place called Medusa's. CF was a regular there, and so were we. He was hot. We were chubby, but at least we could dance. He didn't know we existed back then. We encountered CF again somewhere between high school and twenty one. He was a host at Baker's Square. Again, he didn't know we existed. By the time we got to all being regulars at Shadows, we kind of knew each other. Chisel Face had dated some girl I knew, we knew the same people, it was a comfortable getting along. Of course, my friends and I all wanted to fack him. He was the epitomy of HOT. He was also very goth. He was a fantastic dancer who only danced to very particular songs. We all watched him when he danced, with his hotness and great moves and such it was one collective sigh. One night, I was walking across the dance floor, and "Closer" started to play. I was about to pass Chisel Face when the song began. All of the sudden he turned to me, put his hand on my arm, and jerked his head behind him, in the direction of the middle of the dance floor. I couldn't believe it - he was indicating that he wanted to dance with me. I gave it about 1/2 second of thought. I knew what to do, and how to do it. I had grown up on dancing to this kind of music. I knew how to mosh. I mean really mosh - in a Black Flag kind of way. The moshing that meant a nice look of bent backs, bent arms, twirling legs. None of this let's just jump up and down running into each other kind of moshing that people do today. Real moshing, in a circle, like it's supposed to be done. So, I danced. I danced and danced to the whole song. Not near CF, but WITH him. I didn't even bother to look if anyone was watching. It was my moment. I didn't care. To my 21 year old chubby brain, it was everything. After the song was over, and "Karma Chameleon" came over the speakers, CF leaned over, kissed me on the cheek and said "Thanks". I turned to go back to my table and noticed that my friends had been watching, and were waiting for me to get to the table to fill them in on the how of the whole event. They probably would have clapped had they not known better. After that CF and I went back to our comfortable we-kind-of-know-each-otherness. But that moment will forever belong to that song.

I did something I don't normally do

Now that I have your attention - But really, I did something I don't normally do. I was reading this book "The Worst Day of My Life So Far", and I didn't finish it. I got about half way through it, and I gave up on it. See, it's a really really bad read. I mean, I'd rather rip my eyelids off with rusty pliers than finish that book. I read all the time. All the time. I've read quite a few books this year so far, I'm keeping track this year just out of curiosity to see how many book I generally read. I was just telling people last weekend how even if I dislike a book, I'll finish it. Nah, not this time. It was that bad. It's basically the story of some ugly skinny middle-aged chick who's marriage is falling apart, her teenage son doesn't talk to her. Her dad died and her mom has Alzheimer's and she's got to take care of her and blah blah blah. Every few pages I found myself flipping to the back to see how many more pages I had to go. I so didn't care at all about this lady, or her husband, or her mom, or her brother Rocky (really? Rocky? bleh!) or any of it. It got so bad that last night on the train home I was actually upset because that's all I had with me to read, and didn't have my iPod. Thankfully, VonSis is a part of this paperbackswap.com thing, and I just gave it back to her to get rid of. I emailed VonSis this morning and said I hated the book, didn't finish it, please get rid of it. VonSis wrote back 'Stupid book'. I assume it will be off to some unsuspecting fool sooner rather than later. My next read is "The Memory Keeper's Daughter". I'm suspicious about it already because I know they made it a Lifetime movie, but I'll give it a chance. The best book I've read so far this year is "My Boring Ass Life" by Kevin Smith (*sigh*) It's basically his blog put to pen and paper. Admittedly, I was way not digging the parts about him facking his wife, but overall, it's a good read, especially if you're a fan of his. I read all types of books, and am open to any suggestions. Care to share your favorites?

Sorry, but I'm pissed

I'm not going to give the weekend in review today. I'm kinda pissed off about something that seems to be a recurring theme in my life of late. Friends - stop treating me like shit. If you're too busy to answer the phone, then don't answer the phone. If your life sucks, don't treat me like it's some how my fault. I'd like to think that you treat all of your friends equally, but you don't. You have different rules for different people, and I'm sick of it. A lot of people that don't know me very well think I'm a bitch. That's true. I can be. I'm outspoken, honest, and self-confident. A lot of people that don't know me tend to be a little be afraid of me. This is all ok with me. The problem lies with my friends, those that do know me. These people have the ability to hurt my feeling more than other people. Lately, it seems they do - time and time again. A recent example is someone that I've been trying to become better friends with lately. She's awesome, and I look up to her. The other day she went off on my for something that should not have been a big deal. Don't fucking yell at me, when the person who is truly wrong, who really screwed up, is standing right next to you. I've been mad for a few days about this incident. I'm conflicted, because I'm not sure what I'm going to do about this one. Up until the incident, I feel that we had been making good progress to actually becoming friends. Now, I don't know what I want to do about it. She's someone I see on a regular basis at one of my things, so avoiding her is not an option. I'm waiting for her to blog about what a bitch I was, but it hasn't happened yet. I'll have to see how this plays out. I'm going to push it out of my mind (or try to) until Friday, when I have to see her again. I think I'll let her take the lead on this. If she is still a bitch, then game over. I have enough friends, I don't need another one treating me badly. If she's nice to me, I'll just let it go. Like I said - she's cool, and someone I thought would make a good friend. I don't want to get more specific, as some of my friends read this blog, and I'm not in the game of hurting feelings. I know that I told Shannon I would never be in the practice of blogging about people without naming them. I am taking exception here to not hurt feelings, or have a fight/discussion on the internet. I'll just say this - If you are reading this, and you think 'Maybe she's talking about me, and I've been kinda a shit friend lately.' then you're right, I probably am. Just know, friends, that I have feelings. I have a life. My life, my topics of conversation, my problems should be as important as yours. Yes, I have strong opinions, but sometimes, I'm right. I don't always understand what you do, and why. Don't say things you don't mean. **FYI - I just wrote this to vent. I feel better now. I do NOT want to discuss these issues further. If you think you might have been a shitty friend to me recently, then just fix it, and let's move forward.

Zoe Zombie

So, the above is Zoe (rhymes with NO). Zoe is a zombie that my friend Krista makes and sells. I got Zoe Friday night while I was learning how to crochet. Zoe's pretty awesome. I brought her to work so Charlie won't eat her. She has found a home under my monitor, with my shot glass I got from Team NY, and my Obama/Morrissey 08 picture. I love my desk. I have a cubicle (at my old job I had my own office for 10 years, so I'm still getting used to this cubestyle) and I'm trying to be myself while also trying to be understated. It's a work in progress. I don't think LB2 has even seen Zoe yet. Good thing. Zoe is not a toy - she's more of a statement. You may see Zoe from time to time here on the blog. She's learning to say more than "Brains! Feed me brains!" and growling.

Some purdy pictures

Today, I'm offering you all a glimpse via my awesome purple Kodak easy share into my pretty great life. This first picture shows you the building I work in. I work in the one that's kinda behind the one that's all flat. Mine is the cool pointy one. Pretty awesome.


I've mentioned before how much I love this city, and love where I work. At lunch yesterday I went over to the park to take some pictures to help explain why I dig this place so much:




I am very very new at taking pictures. Or, what I consider to be "good/real" pictures. Photography classes are on my list of things to do before the end of the year. Shannon and I went to Ireland a couple of years ago. At the time, I didn't have a digital camera, just this crappy 35mm I've had since high school. I took lots and lots and lots of pictures in Ireland. I'll never forget when I was showing them to people, I had more than one person say to me "Huh, Von, some of these are actually good....". Inspiring words, really.

Slightly less lame weekend in reveiw.

My weekend was kinda less than. Friday night was good. I went to First Friday at Old Town, where I learned how to crochet. I was in a horrible mood when I got there, but after learning how to chain and turn, and drank a bit, and ate a brownie or two, I was in a much better mood. I really like crocheting. It did a lot to improve my mood. There's not a lot of thinking to the act of it, and it's just calming. I've been practicing whenever I've had some down time this weekend. Whenever I've had the t.v. on, I've been practicing crochet. I think I'm getting better. This first effort will probably end up being a blanket for Charlie. Who knows. Saturday was my god-daughter's First Communion. I don't go to Mass, like, ever. My parents were there, as was Laura and her family. (Laura's my best friend, has been for 19 years.) We laughed and laughed all through the 1 1/2 hour mass. It was great. Kinda creepy though - I'm not really down with Catholicism much any more, and all of those little brides of Christ lookin' kids with their up-dos and fancy white dresses. Creeped me out, that's all I'm saying. VonMom got annoyed with Laura and I and our chatting and laughing. I'm sure God was just happy I was in the hiz-ouse. Saturday night watched Juno. Eh. Good movie, funny and all, but the music made me want to rip out my ear-drums with my pinky nails. Sunday First Communions of both Niece and Nephew. Didn't go to Mass. Two days in a row is w a y too much for me. Polish banquet hall food after. I do think it's really funny that when I mention to my step-siblings that I learned how to crochet, and I love it, they ALL think that's code for something drrrty and bad. Hm. I know they think I'm some bad-ass rocker chick and all, but c'mon people. I had to explain to them that I am a diamond - all multi-faceted, and one of the new facets is that I crochet. I also love that VonSib Peter and I took the phrase "pure as the driven snow" and made it all drrty and hilarious, with Zamboni references, and plowing, good times. Ok, maybe I am a bad-ass after all. I also grocery shopped this weekend. I wouldn't mention it at all except that I wanted to mention that I really dug the Muzak this time. We went from James Taylor, to Jon Secada, to Backstreet Boys/N'Sync or whatever. Here's me, singing in the aisles (loudly, I don't care.) "I don't care who you are, where you're from, oh crap, I have to go back for refried black beans, as long as you love meeeee!!!" Yeah, I'm a lot of fun out in public. Oh, and I'd like to mention I came upon something at said grocery store that creeped me out - they now have these Slow Melting Popsicles. WTF?!? A)How many chemicals do you think are in those things that they don't melt the normal way? B) Really? Part of the fun of Popsicles is the brain freeze, and the sticky hands, and now you are taking that all away? Bleh. No thanks.

James Lipton R O C K S

Sometimes on the weekends, I'll stumble upon that Inside the Actors' Studio show with James Lipton. He's fun. He's cool with a capital C. My favorite part of the show is at the end, when he does that question and answer session with each guest. Some people give great responses, some are eh, but it got me to thinking. Two of my favorite questions in that segment are: What is your favorite word? and What is your least favorite word? So, I've come up with a little sampling of words that I love and words that I hate. *Disclaimer: This list is about ONLY the Word. Not what the word means, or represents, or anything. Just the word, so please don't get all word defensive in my comments. Thanks.* Words I Love: Bubble, Kiss, Smooth, Meander, Crystal, Klavier, Tryst, Skyscraper, Torrid, Clandestine, Bramble, Fire, Tramp, Vaudville, Smirk, Beatific, Harmony. These words make me smile and I like the sounds of them. Words I Hate: Kitchen, Fresh, Hook, Jejune, Trip, Smudge, Bus, Purse, Tangerine, Diner, Park, Pigeon, Spit. These words get tangled up in my mouth and I just don't like them. I could actually go on and on and on with both lists, but then this would be the post that never ends. Any words that any of you feel strongly about?