I wish

I wish every day was Sunday. I wish iTunes would give me back the songs that I lost. I wish dieting were easy. Easy as pie. Easy as cake. Mmmmm Cake. I wish I could go see a musical every week. I wish I had won MegaMillions. I wish I had a dog. I wish my ABC free episode player would work. I wish VonSis would take me to Frank's Diner in Kenosha, as Guy Fierri(sp) said I should go there. I wish no woman on God's green Earth would wear sandals or flip-flops before they got a pedicure. For pete's sake, ladies. Please. I wish people used only words they understand. For example, Disrespectful is NOT a synonym for Ignorant. I wish the man of my dreams would just come to my door and sweep me off my feet already. I wish someone would make me some chocolate chip cookies, and that I could eat them without shaking up my diet. I wish my hair were about 3-4 inches longer. I wish my dishes would wash themselves. No, I do not have a dishwasher. I wish I were a little bit cooler. I wish I had a fun streak of blue or purple in my hair. (Boss thinks this is a bad idea.) I wish my friends who are out of work would find jobs. I wish my friends who are sick will become well, and stay that way. I wish that the tourists I have to encounter on a regular basis would start paying attention to where they are going, and stop being so stupid. I wish every work week was four days long. I wish to have my job f o r e v e r. I wish I were going on a vacation sooner rather than later. (July? Really? That's a ways off) I wish something awesomely funny would happen, so I can share it here. I wish they would cancel The Hills. I mean, without LC, is there any show? Nay, nay I say. I wish all reality t.v. would go away. Ok, The Amazing Race, Diners DriveIns and Dives, and Man vs Food can stay. Get rid of the rest. I wish there was an unending bottle of wine in my kitchen at all times. I wish you all a great week.

Configure this

Dear Laptop: Ok, you kinda suck. I gave you time to recover from your ordeal. Lots and lots of time. Just last week, you had two nights that I left you on so you could download the 62 Windows updates, and then install them. Why oh why did I have to wait an hour yesterday when I turned you on for you to configure updates? Didn't we do this last week? Don't you know I have things to do, and among them, a blog to write? I'm bigger than you. I can totally crush you. Or throw you against the wall. Or jump up and down on you. Stop pissing me off! Love, Von

Not attending, nope not me

Alas, I have nothing snarky to say about poker night. Well, I did go home $20 lighter, but the people were nice, the beer was tasty, and I had fun. I'll be going back next week, so I'll keep you updated. SO This Saturday night some of my classmates from high school are having an informal reunion of sorts that was formulated and organized on facebook. If you're a regular reader of this blog, the following should come as no surprise. I'm.Not.Going. First, they are meeting at a pizza place. A bad pizza place. "Meet at Dino's. $12 all the pizza and pop you can eat!!" Yep, hi, um, we're on the other side of 30. I think you could have picked, oh I don't know, a BAR?!?!? Secondly, one of the organizers is someone I beat up my senior year. More than once. Ok, more than twice. Even the teachers didn't like her. How do I know? One of the times I beat her up, I had her pinned up against the lockers right outside her homeroom. I was trying to get her to *ahem* see things from my perspective. Anyway, upon one of the slams against the lockers, her homeroom teacher came out to investigate. 'Oh, shit.' I thought. I kinda froze, I knew I was caught and in deep trouble. Mr. X looked at her, looked at me, then back at her, and back at me. He said "Oh, Von - it's you." And he turned around and walked back in the classroom and closed the door. I finished my conversation with her and went on my way. This is a true story! So - M (the chic) has re-written history via facebook. She's friended most of our class, and now she's organizing this fiasco. I thought I was nuts, but the few chics that I still talk to from h.s. agree with me that M is still a pathetic loser, and living in a fantasy world. I did scan through the list of those attending. There's maybe one or two people who I would like to see. But I'm a GrownUp. If I want to see them, I will email them and arrange a get together. I don't need to go eat bad greasy pizza and talk to a bunch of chics I could give two shits about. Poor M. Poor chicas that think this reunion is a good idea. Poor pizza place having to put up witht them. My weekend is all booked up with grown up kewl activities. No time for the lame.

Tonight tonight tonight whoa oh....

I'd love to stay home tonight and write y'all a post. However. I'm going to poker night. At some dude's house. He's hot. Like really really hot. And young. I barely know him, we work in the same office, but not for the same division. I'm going to play Texas hold em with him and his probably-as-hot-as-he-is friends. Yes, yes I do think I'm that girl from that show "My Boys". I plan on winning all of their $$, charming the pants off of them (do what you will with that), and writing all about it for you later this week.

Well, look who has internet....

I'm not going to lie. I am downright giddy about getting my internet back up. Here's the backstory on that. Was having some beer and conversation with the LandOverLord Friday night. I gently bring up my continuing lack of internet. LOL: "I've decided you can get that fixed. I was on the phone with them for 2 hours, I don't want to deal with it." Well, shit. Had she said that two weeks ago I would have summoned someone from my vast minions of IT peoplefriends. Well, shit. So, I text the first person I think of (hm, this person, of course, is the WORST person I could think of). VText: So, come over tomorrow morning and fix my internet? Reply: Sure! 8? VText: FU. 9. Reply: Sure! So, bright and fackin' early on a Saturday, my ex knocks on my front door. Sigh V: Hi Ex. Ex: Hi! Ex's outfit alone just reaffirms all the reasons he's an Ex. 2 hours later - I haz internets. Ok, it really only took about an hour, but he wouldn't leave. I offered to buy him a doughnut, he declined, but wouldn't leave, thus not allowing me to go get a doughnut for myself. Oh, the problem with the internet you ask? Well, the wireless router (is that the word? I think, yes) was not connected. To anything. Yes, even I can see this could be a problem. Bastards. Very long story, very short ending: I haz internet!!! It's currently raining (awesome!). I'm full from brunch-going with Shannon and TheMarty (awesome!). I'm listening to "More than this" by Roxy Music (awesome!). It's been a good weekend. Last night was fantastic. Beyond fantastic. Yesterday was an incredibly warm day here in the frozen tundra - it reached the low 70s. I was hard pressed to not wear my bathing suit when I went out to meet John and Toni for dinner. I met them at their place, and we walked over to People, a tapas place in Wicker Park that I had never heard of, much less been to. We put our name on the list - 30 minute wait on a Saturday night? You can't beat that! - and went to have a beer at the bar. Delirium Tremens? Yes Please! I got carded giggle grin and not 5 minutes later we were offered a table outside. Outside!! Dining al fresco in April!!! Squeeeeeeee!! * Ok, side note, it's not like they had a patio. I was pretty much sitting in the middle of foot traffice practically in the middle of the sidewalk on Milwaukee Ave, three doors down from Double Door, while John and Toni were kinda sitting on the curb. But I digress* I love love love eating out with J & T. They love to eat (like me) and are foodies that I trust. So, this lead to 8 or 9 items on the menu being ordered by us. I actually lost count. I know the waiter tried to take our menu more than once, and we would just laugh at him and say "Oh, no. We are no where near finished!". Some items I remember: Ceviche, flank steak, mussells, salmon, goat cheese w/ tomato sauce, ham plate, tuna, chicken, pork, plantains......it was all delicious. So, it was during this lengthy evening of awesome that I had a thought. You know, one of those moments where I should have been listening to the story that Toni was telling me, but I wasn't really, and I thought to myself 'So, I'm outside, drinking good beer, eating fantastic food, spending time with people I geniunely dig - my life rocks right now.' And I was hopeful. And I was happy. I actually had a moment when we were walking back to their place and it was still warm and I was all aware at how happy I am. It's carried over into today. A new leaf? Oh, I doubt that. But still, it's cool to be cheerful once in a while. I know, I totally just rambled and jumped all over the place here today. Forgive me. I'm rusty at this here blog. I'm glad to be back. I'm cautiously optimistic that both my computer and internet are fixed, at least to the point where I can maintain this here bloggy blog. Welcome back, happy Sunday.

Have and have not

What I have: A computer. Sure, it's my computer, but it's a) a little banged up (FYOU Geek Squad! Hope you don't meet me in a dark alley!) b) it's been completely wiped of anything/everything I've ever had on it. I have backup discs, and I think I installed them, but I can't find them. What I don't have: Internet. What you don't have: The return of Von For Now. Sigh. Again, accepting things I have no control over. Or trying to. aaarrrrggggghhhh. What I do have control over? Paying the LandPeople for internet when I have none. Once they see the check is short, it might move them to fix the situation. I remain yours, and beg your continue patience. Von

A little distraction

Dear Reader, I hope you have been missing me, as I have missed you. I'm trying to be all Zen/AA and say things like "It is what it is" and "I'm not going to get upset about something I can't control." -grant me the serenity and all that- BUT I miss my computer. The Best Buy Geek Squad of Major Losers has been silent this week, so at least a week more, I'm thinking two. In the meantime, my superawesome co-member of the Tricycle of Awesome, TheMarty, has answered questions all about yours truely over at his blog. It's HI-larious. I recommend you check it out: http://onepretentiousbastard.com Also (prenounced allllzzzzzoooo, as in the German word. It's my new favorite German word, and I use it all the time. It does not mean the same as the English also, it is merely "so" or a place keeper, like "um") Also, I give you the best quote I heard today on lunch. Here's the scenario: I was walking down this corridor, and coming the other was a group of about 5 guys, all in their mid-20s. They all had on khakis and button down shirts. They were all in a heated discussion. As I passed them, I heard one of them say: "So, like, what IS the buffalo stance, anyway?" Best.Quote.of.the.Week. I think I'm going to start writing down some of the better quotes I hear and report them back to you. Once I can. Once my computer is fixed. Alas. I remain yours - hopelessly devoted, V