Sorry, not Charlie

VonSis is fostering a dog this week. He is a shepard-mix who is allegedly about two years old. He came to the Commune with the name Fulton's Harley Joe. He now answers to Stormy; we just couldn't handle that awful name. Even calling him Harley wasn't cutting it. Stormy came about when I asked where VonBrotherInLaw is right now. Turns out he's in Houston, so that didn't work. Then I called VonBrotherInLaw the StormChaser, so that's how FosterPup got his temporary moniker. I say temporary because we've decided not to adopt him. There are a few reasons for this, all of which are valid. He's super cute - when he's not peeing in my house, her house, the garage, the basement, etc. We're pretty sure that although he's very young that he already has some sort of hip and/or back problems. Dogs cost money. I have no extra cash these days, none. Certainly not the kind of money it takes to be a pet owner. The biggest reason, I think, is because he's not Charlie. I thought by now I'd be ready for a new dog. I also know that VonSis would rather have a dog than not after the break-in. Still, he's not Charlie, and I'm not ready I guess. But, that being said - I've also tried to keep my distance from him (I type on Tuesday night, while petting Stormy with my left hand while he paces around my house). I know that I'm a sucker for all dogs, and the longer he's here the more attached to him I will get. I know this is not good, as I know in my heart that he is not the dog for us. However, after the decision had been made - two days ago - that he would be leaving after his week of foster care was up, I teared up as I said goodnight to him and went downstairs. He's adorable and some other family will adopt him and love him very much. Another family that isn't us, that isn't thinking about Charlie all the time, and crying still when we do think about him. I think VonSis and I both want that moment when we meet some stray mutt or shepard that makes us instantly say "Awww" while smiling. The dog that'll mak us remember Charlie without getting sad. He's out there - we just need more time I guess. ***writer's note: this is NOT the post I wanted to present today....but we'll talk about that another day. Probably Friday....***

Looking back a few years......

I've been thinking about my senior prom today. It could have been a random thought that leaped into my head for no reason, but I'm pretty sure there's reason. A) I've started hanging out with D&D again aka TheTwins aka my former besties from H.S. (thanks FaceBooooook, for the reconnect!) We've been hanging out a lot, and doing the "remember when" thing. B) I watched "Prom Night", "High School Musical 3", and "Twilight" this weekend (Ok! Ok! You get to temporarily revoke my cool card for this admission!!) So, proms aplenty. My senior prom was AWFUL!!! I wore a white dress. MyGawd - I was that girl who's friends lied to her and told her the dress looked nice so I bought it but I totally looked like the "before" picture in a weight loss add and the dress had that longer-shorter-in-the-front awfulness that made it even more heinous yes I know this is an incredibly long run-on sentence but I had to keep typing this admission lest I delete it and you wouldn't be reading this tasty nugget of my past. Phew! Besides the horrible dress, I had my hair done in a french braid with two horrendous spiral curls (one on each side) and gold jewelry. I do not now nor do I ever remember liking gold jewelry!! I was also not pleased with my date. He was my boyfriend, but he was a freshman and I was a senior, so I knew I had to dump him sometime between prom and graduation. I think it may have been about 48 hours after prom. He was a dork, AND a very sloppy kisser. I also beat up Chris at our after-prom hotel room. Chris is many things to me to this day. She's a) the only roommate I've ever had. We lived together more than two years and only wanted to kill each other once or twice b) one of my very best friends from high school. She was the first girl at my new school sophomore year to talk to me, and we've been friends ever since c) the mother of my nine-year-old goddaughter whom I adore and love as my own So, the fact that I beat Chris up is not only something I can't ever forget but also something she likes to bring up, especially at family parties, or major holidays. The truth of the matter is I didn't beat her up - I merely pushed her out of my way to get into the bedroom and broke the door with her body. Whatever..... Anyway, not my finest moment. Our prom colors senior year were something like blue and silver - LAME. Who matches with that? Who looks good standing next to a big silver wall? Bleh. Our song wasn't even good. I know senior year I was all dark and angsty, and I totally wanted Depeche Mode or Morrissey or Big Head Todd and the Monsters, but NOOOOOO we had to have trite Peter Cetera/Cher song. "After All" I think it was. Really? Because "After All" is a big defining song for 17 year olds and their love lives. Why couldn't my prom have been like any of the movies I watched this weekend? Ok, sure "Prom Night" ended with a lot of dead people, but their prom was AWESOME - with a professional deejay and confetti and all. And sure, "Twilight" had some vampires and werewolves there, but they had really good tunes and a pretty gazebo that was all lit up. Sigh. I guess the grass is always greener on the celluloid side. At least I have my wine-glass favor that is filled with wax to look upon and and remember. Why is the glass filled with wax, you ask? Well, that was the fantastic idea our faculty came up with to try to prevent our drinking a-l-c-o-h-o-l on prom night. Snort. Yeah, that worked.

An apologetic little ditty

I want to write a new post. I really do. BUT I'm tired My brain has been fired I'm less than inspired I'm a little bit wired Give me a chance To return to the dance With lovely words and stories absurd But not today No chance, no way To sleep I go I'm lame - I know

Light at the end of the tunnel

Tomorrow immediately after work I head out to Michigan with Shannon. TheMarty will join us Thursday after he gets off of work. It's really one of my most favorite times of the year, I can't imagine doing anything else around the 4th of July. I don't remember if this is my fifth or sixth year joining Shannon and her family for the 4th. What I do know is it's one of my happy places, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I know that every day we've spent together in Michigan has made us closer and better friends. Except that one time, last summer, when she tried to kill me on the jet ski, but I also know never to get on a jet ski with her again. I plan on telling Shannon every single sordid detail of my date Saturday night, and I know she's looking forward to hearing them all. I plan on going to Steak and Shake, Walmart, Cracker Barrel, the movies - all of the things that make this weekend what it is. Weekend, ok, that's an inaccurate definition, as we'll be there from Wednesday to Monday, but that's my kind of weekend. I know I'll have at least one moment where I sit back on the deck, look out at the lake and say "Hello, summer, I've missed you." I also know that I will fall asleep to the sounds of the frogs (and possibly the rain at some point) in the channel. I know that I will play lots and lots of games - the fun relaxing kind, not the kind that mess with your mind. I know that I will be nowhere near any computers, so please enjoy your vacation from me. I hope that you will come back after this mental-health break.

Weekend in Review

So, I'm not going to lie. Yep, I went and saw the New Kids on Friday night. Yep, this is an AGAIN thing, I know you know that I know that you know that I went to see them in October. I make no apologies! It was fun. Goofy, silly, summer-time fun. Surprisingly, Jesse McCarthy (McCartney? Not sure) provided one of the biggest laughs of the night. So, he's like this child who sings. He's up on the stage singing and gyrating in front of thousands of women old enough to be his mother. After one bland yet sexaaaay song and dance numbers, he let loose with the following awesome: "So. Ladies. Just so you know. I'm 22. - dramatic pause - Which means.....it's not illegal." It was actually pretty funny. It was a perfect night for a concert - balmy and warm, not at all humid. Awesome. I looked around from my very very good seat and had the 'I love summer' moment. Saturday? Saturday was a date. An awesome date that went on and on and on. I don't think I'll be going into details. Not today anyway. Just an fyi - either Wed night or Thursday morning I'll be heading off to my much needed much loved looooong 4th of July weekend in Michigan with Shannon and TheMarty. This means no internetz.....just lake, boats, drinking, sleeping, laughing. So if I don't get a chance before I leave to write another post, I hope your 4th is awesome and safe.

Mish mosh post

Has anyone else noticed that Brooke Shields has a lot of problems? No, I'm not THAT mean, I don't mean the mom-having-dementia thing, I mean Brooke Shields and her shit-ton of product endorsements. She has: Sun damaged skin Yellow teeth Damaged hair Bad teeth and a sundry of others I'm pretty sure she still likes Calvin Klein jeans too. Does she really need the money that bad? What's next, incontinence? "I'm Brooke Shields, for Depends" I fully admit to falling prey to "I'm a Celebrity - Get me out of here!". Sure, I was just waiting for Patty B. to get kicked off. She was on there WAY too long! She just got kicked off last night! Anyway, tomorrow night is the final episode. I'm rooting for John Salley, but I have an inkling that Lou Diamond Phillips is going to win. I think it's a good thing for him - it may help us forget a) his wife left him for a woman and b) he starred in "Route 666" a fantastically bad made for Sci-fi channel horror movie. I've got this hankering for some retro music this summer. I'm all about REM, INXS, Depeche Mode, Psychedelic Furs, The Smiths, The Cure, New Order. It came on pretty slow, like a trickle, but now it's a full on romp down memory lane. I think these bands and the times that they bring up for me were some of the best times in my life. Ahhh - Medusa's..... Sorry, sorry, I'm back. Sooo, if anyone has any wonderfully classic tunes they'd like to send my way, I'll take them. Right now I am in the process of as I hear an awesome song, I write it on a scrap of paper, go home and check my CD library, and if I don't have it I go on iTunes and buy it. A lame and slow process indeed. Enough rambling for today. Still getting used to my new office place space. Still feeling like the new kid in school. Still not so keen on it.

A new addition

About a month ago, I sated my creative side. No, I didn't actually get my hair dyed blue or purple as I had originally planned. What I did do was get a new tattoo. It's a decent sized Scorpio symbol above a decent sized Scorpio constellation. They are both done really well in a lovely shade of purple. I think it suits me, and I don't regret it, as I don't regret any of my tattoos. A few people in my life have a problem with the fact that it's on the inside of my left forearm. Visible sometimes, bigger than I had originally planned. I decided at my age not to hide it from my family or friends. I went to show VonParents one night. That night I was pleasantly surprised by their lack of reaction. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't hoping for a reaction, I was just expecting one. About a week later I had the unfortunate experience of hearing their (mostly VonMom's I think) opinions on the new ink. Some gems: "It's stupid" "It's huge" "You don't even like it" - Hm....this one confused me. Apparently VonMom thinks she knows me better than I know myself, because I'm pretty sure I love it..... "To date, probably your worst life decision" "What does it even mean?" "It's not like you to do this" This last statement has been coming back to the top of my mind. This statement defines the problem between my mother and me. This statement made me really think about what IS like me. I realized that if I were truly being me, and not worrying so much about what my family would think and have come to expect, I would probably have at least ONE arm tattooed with a full sleeve. I would have more holes in my ears than I do (currently triple-pierced). I would wear a lot more black a lot more often. I would do less on schedules and more on whims. I would probably have never gone to college at all, and might have run off to the circus, or to follow the Dead. I might have eloped once, and at the ripe old age of 20. I've come to love my life, but I'm not 100% sure that it's the life I would have loved. I know that when I broke my leg I lost my daredevil edge. Sometime after that, I lost a lot more of my edges. So, while my mom chews on the fact that I do these Horrible things that she cannot understand, I sit home on Sunday night planning out my outfits, paying my bills, balancing my check book, straightening my fridge - instead of out running around, drinking too much, staying out too late. I don't know if it's in the cards for me to actually be the person I might have been. I don't think that the person I should have been at 20 (the age of my first tattoo) is still the person that I should be now. I just know that every now and then I get these Time-for-a-big-change urges, and they do not go away. I'm starting to think that if I had following my urges,whims, and instincts more and longer that I would be more settled with myself. On a better note was CB's reaction - and it was her's that I had feared the most - she admitted that I am "free-spirited" and that she knew this about me. She said that she would get used to it. Which is pretty much how I ended the conversation with VonMom. My final statement to her: "Well, it IS a tattoo - so you have only one option, which is to get used to it."