I had to

I just had to.

I want it! (times 2)

Seen on CTA bus last night on my way home: Guy wearing a button that says "It's OK to say Merry Christmas to me!" Yep, I want it. Seen in Ogilivie train station last night on my way home: Old-boys-club type 60+ dude with very expensive suit and coat eating a Fun Dip, grinning like a school boy and I even heard a little "yummmm". Yep, I want Fun Dip. AND I wanted to give old dude a big hug. My commute? Not so boring when I'm paying attention to those around me.

I am.....

You're Ulysses! by James Joyce Most people are convinced that you don't make any sense, but compared to what else you could say, what you're saying now makes tons of sense. What people do understand about you is your vulgarity, which has convinced people that you are at once brilliant and repugnant. Meanwhile you are content to wander around aimlessly, taking in the sights and sounds of the city. What you see is vast, almost limitless, and brings you additional fame. When no one is looking, you dream of being a Greek folk hero **There you have it - I am brilliant and repugnant. *** And thanks, everyone, for the fun little quiz!!

Me thinks I'm being referred to

"When I prayed that day, and what I have continued to meditate on since, is the hope that we don't lose the ability to make contact, to ask for love, to ask for healing, to ask for someone to be with us lest we grow so comfortable with alone we forget what together feels like and how powerful touch can be." I stole (borrowed, I prefer borrowed) the above quote from my eldest step-sister's blog. I keep an eye on her blog, though I don't think she knows it. Also, the J5 do NOT read my blog. As far as I know. I don't talk about it, I've never mentioned it. How can I write about them if they know about it? So I pilfered the above from her blog to share here with you all. I feel that she is talking about me. I may have mentioned (in error, I should have never mentioned it!) that I had teared up a little while watching the Macy's parade. C'mon people! Who doesn't?! and not to mention the fact that I had pms and was kinda emotional that day anyway?? I think that too many people in my family and even some of my close friends feel that something is going on with me. IT ISN'T. Nothing, as in No Thing. By my own design, I am busy really freakin' busy. Intentional or not, it's a fact. Therefore I don't have time to decorate. I do have time to send out cards (which I did), wash my holiday sheets and comforter and throw those on the bed (which I did, and yes, I'm sleeping with Santa bitches), I will make time to shop. What is not happening is me sitting around wallowing and keening and curling up like that Cymbalta commercial. Trust me, I know how powerful touch can be, but the kind I'm looking for is NOT the kind that can be supplied by family, ya know what I mean?! And What is wrong with growing comfortable with what alone feels like? I am fine with alone. I like alone. Being the youngest twice over (youngest between VonSis and I, and also youngest between the J5 and VonSis and I) I had a LOT of not alone time the first 25 years of my life. For the past number of years I've been down-right gleeful to have my little apartment to come home to A L O N E. I like to eat cereal for dinner, ice cream before bed. I like to blast my stereo - one day ManOWar, the next Yanni, and not have to answer to anyone. I LIKE ALONE. Ultimately, yes, I see myself married and hence Not Alone, but looking at the now and at the near future, I don't have a problem with the comfort of alone. And it really bothers me that someone else does, on my behalf.

And not....

You know what I am not thankful for? Waking up at 3:30 am to drive VonSis to train station then going home thinking 'Oh no problem I will fall right back to sleep' only to not fall back asleep until 5:30 then having to get up at 6:15 to go to work. Not thankful for that, not at all. Yes, I know above is run-on sentence but oh did I mention I don't do caffeine, so I'll just have to suck up the tired and write run on sentences?!?!?

Giving Thanks (again)

Pretty much the easiest blog post to write. It's almost like cat vacuuming. What I'm thankful for this year:

• I got some good news from the doctor today. I had been worried for a few months about some test results. Turns out that a resident had given me some incorrect information and that I'm actually doing ok. I'm thankful for my relative health and well being. And there's nothing wrong with the healthier habits I've begun, so I'm not too mad at that resident.
• I'm thankful for my jobs. Every day I still feel like the luckiest person in the world with my full time job. I'm beyond thrilled that Old Town has given me a part time job that I can't wait to really get cracking at, even if it is only once a month. I do still love my job at DANK, even though I'll be losing the paid part of it in January when my term with the board begins.
• I'm thankful for my quirky, weird, lovely family. I love that we are unique and awesome and at the very least understanding of each other.
• I'm perpetually and eternally thankful for my friends. One of them has asked me to write a post for her, and I will, probably in December. I'm thankful for her, and every other one of my very best friends. My friends are my best assets, and my best qualities. They make me a better person, each and every day. I'm so grateful to have so many wicked awesome people in my life.
• I'm still thankful to the Michigan Ave Apple store - I swear, I'm going to take you all behind the bleachers and make out with you. Love the mad customer service skills you threw my way.
• I'm thankful to have not one but two warm loving places to go on Thanksgiving - see above friends and family mentions
• Also thankful for my sweet little apartment.
• And can't forget music, forever time!, always forever thankful for music (and certain bloggers who send me new and wonderful tunes to check out!)

Ok. That's enough schmoop for now.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours and theirs and those other peoples.

Two things

1. I strongly dislike it when people wear their scarf on the outside of their coat. Half assedly tied about the neck area. What does this do for you? Why are you showing off your ugly scarf? Scarves are for warmth - so they should be inside the coat, keeping your precious neck/chest/front parts warm. 2. If I changed my blog name to AA Von for Now, would I then be more at the top of others' blog rolls than at the bottom? I'm getting a complex. Just became aware I'm using italics oddly today. It's like a bad Grover skit from Sesame Muppet Street Show - like the one where he runs up to the camera and yells "Near!" then runs back away and yells "Far!". Do that in your mind when you read the above italicized words: "Outside!" runrunrunrun "Inside!" runrunrun "Top!" runrunrun "Bottom!" runrunrun