Also

I'll be moving on to new topics. I've given all I can on the wedding recap. Plus, I don't want to piss anyone off (TheMarty / Shannon) if I write too much snark about their friends. Suffice to say You just can't like all people all the time. Even when a slew of people you do like are telling you how much they like a specific someone. Um, sorry, that particular someone was 11 shades of lame, and I would never, could never be friends with them. Among others with their annoying habits and sundry of things for me to dislike/make fun of/abhor. *ahem* Moving on.

Clearly

So, yeah, no post this weekend. Ask me if I have internet at home ? Nope. I do not. NO internet, no blog posts. Funny how that works. Hopefully I will have the issue resolved by Friday of this week.

and Part 2

The big day. Woke up all on my own (like a grown up), hung over like nobody's business at 7:45am. The Bride offered me whole grain bagel with that bull shit neufchatel (read: NOT cream cheese) cheese. Um no. This tummy needs McDs, stat. And Gatorade. We head out, the Bride, the little cousin of bride, some friend of groom chic (more on her later) and I. Stop at McDs. Get some grease/cheese/bread for tummy. Oh, yeah, I still want to puke, and I still haven't actually puked. Get to DANK. Ribbons/bows/flowers/etc......girly things you wouldn't really be interested in. Back to condo. Hair. Makeup. Female bonding aka Thai food and "Pretty in Pink" (finally). I've never been more calm and unrushed getting ready for a wedding before. That went really well. All beautiful and ready. To DANK. In cabs. This is how we roll. NO The Bride did NOT wear her wedding dress in the cab. Things get a little more stressful here. One of the grooms men was totally late, so that messed up the picture taking. There was no professional photographer, so there was a lot of not knowing what to do when and where. The ceremony was beautiful and very short. One of the bridesmaids Rick Rolled the ceremony, which was killer, and OH YEAH, IT WAS ALSO MY IDEA. Her "reading" consisted entirely of the lyrics to "Never Gonna Give You Up" and a little "It Takes Two" by Rob Base and DJ Easy Rock. Awesome. After the ceremony we all headed back up for more pictures, or so I thought, but no, the entire population of guests are smokers, so they all immediately invaded the terrace, so no more pictures. I said f this, not sure what I'm staying up here for then, and I went downstairs to say hello to some people. GOD FORBID I got yelled by easily four people that I shouldn't be down there, and it's time to line up for the introductions and blah blah blah.....hence we entered the 'hurry up and wait' portion of the evening. Sorry, I don't play that game. I basically told all of those yelling at me to fuck off, and I was going to do what I wanted. Guess who was in place and ready to go for the introductions?!? Yep, that would be me. Was everyone else? Um, nope. THEN I was introduced as Yvette. Dear readers, this is NOT MY NAME. Thankfully, DJ corrected himself, and 75% of the people knew me anyway, but still, that part kinda sucked. Each introduced group had their own song that Bride and Groom had picked out for them. Mine and the best man's was "Mah na ma nah" song. I felt a little bad for the best man because this song was selected for me. He thought it was cool though. The best thing was that they had a photo room set up with all sorts of props and such with a photographer all night. He had a projector set up and uploaded the pics right away for all to see. It was a huge hit. Pretty late in the evening, I said to the Bride - "So, we haven't had one picture taken of us all night." Into the photo room we went for some shots. I know in one of them we are holding a little chalk board that says "besties". I can't wait to see all of those pictures! So. There was dancing. Lots of it. There were cupcakes (we totally hid some behind the bar so we could eat them on Sunday). I think there was food (I missed that part). There was drinking and some shots (who me?). And there were speeches. I'm not going to lie. My speech kicked ass. The beginnings of my speech came to me while I was in the shower. I slept on it, and the next day I wrote it all down. I'm going to brag here and state that I didn't do any rewrites. I felt pretty confident in what I wrote. The first part of my speech was to Shannon. The middle part was to TheMarty, the end was to both with an Irish blessing thrown in. I thought it was good. I didn't cry, but will admit I hoped they would tear up. Come to find out throughout the rest of the evening that LOTS of people cried at my speech. They also laughed exactly when they were supposed to, and I even got some unexpected applause at one point. I got more compliments on that than I can count. I think I will either rewrite it nicely or type it up and give them a nice clean copy. Wedding over, a small gathering of people headed back to the condo for some late night deep dish pizza ordering. Once we kicked one of the bridesmaids and a much much younger friend of the groom out of Shannon and Marty's room (EWWW - and Have a little respect for your friends that just got married!) I went to bed. It was like 4am. This post is toooooo long. I will write a part three with the Day After and my musings on a few of the people that were there sometime over the weekend. I know you are all on pins and needles.

Recap part 1

I took off work Thursday, Friday and Monday for the wedding. Here's some of what I did those days. Thursday: I kinda had the day to myself as the Bride overslept by a lot. I got my nails done a lovely shade of purple. I bought an outfit for the rehearsal dinner. I made sure I had my spanx ( you ladies know what I am talking about). Met the Bride at the condo they rented for the weekend. Holy shit. I cried at the sight of it. Why can't I live somewhere awesome like that? My ENTIRE apartment could fit in the kitchen/living room area. And it had a balcony. And a view. And three bedrooms. The Bride gave me a tour. I looked in a bedroom and said "Mine!" Bride laughed, but knew I wasn't kidding. After the quick tour, she and I went to dinner at Hopleaf. We had a couple of lovely beers while we waited for our table. Dinner was a sausage plate appetizer (nom nom nom), a CB&J for the Bride - cashew butter and fig jam - and a brisket sandwich for me. There were homemade potato chips with that. We shared a chocolate mousse with raspberry sauce dessert. I say "mousse" but it was more of a "cement". A delicious cement to be sure. We then went back to the condo. We popped our heads in on the Boston people who were playing games in their condo on the second floor. We headed back upstairs. The Bride had asked me to bring "Pretty in Pink" for us to watch. Of course, we couldn't figure out the DVD player, so that didn't happen. The Groom showed up and the tricycle of awesome had some laughs and then watched "Daybreakers". Not a bad film, I'd say. Super cool concept, actually. Neither Bride nor Groom expounded on the political undertones of the film (I was kinda shocked at that) and it was a good night. Friday. Oops. Made the mistake of turning on the "Grey's Anatomy" finale. First of all, I pretty much don't even watch this show anymore, but I saw previews and was like 'Cool, shoot 'em up at Seattle Grace, that's worth watching'. Wow. Lots of shooting and stuff in the first hour. I had to speak sternly to myself "hey, asshole, you are supposed to be out and about already. get moving" "Yes ma'am" I answered myself. Packed up, headed out. Got the lovely pastries over the Daily for the rehearsal dinner. Had one of those encounters where the manager knew me, and I was pretty sure I didn't know him. I said "Oh, it's not MY wedding" He said "Of course! Because if it was your wedding, this whole place would be jumping!" Um, okkkkkkaaaaayyyy Got to the condo, got to work. Weddings don't just magically appear. There's ribbons, and glue guns, and sparkles and other stuff. Rehearsal dinner. Double ooops. Maid of Honor (ok, yours truly) had one (ok, five) too many Jamey's (ok, shots of Jameson) on top of barely eating and having a bunch (ok, seven or eight) Rolling Rocks. Conversation with self in bathroom: "I have to throw up" "Do NOT throw up. They'll all hear you" "But I'll feel a lot better" "Do NOT throw up." "The Bride is going to kill me" "Do NOT throw up" I didn't throw up. (but in hindsight, I probably should have) Can't say I remember getting back to the condo. I do know we had to be up by 7:45 on Saturday to go over and get the hall ready for the wedding. ...........to be continued..............

Kinda

I'm back(ish)! Did ya miss me? Don't answer that, I know your snark. I missed you. I have tales. And stories. And the like. But alas I am busy catching up with work stuff, and life stuff, and my God it's hot here stuff. I hope to give you some wedding info sometime this week. I don't have any pictures though. I was too busy to take any. I will tell you that my speech was a big hit.

One task down......

Hey! Guess what! I got my speech/toast thing written! I've only be stressing about it for oh......about three weeks now. Once I formulated it, it was pretty easy to craft. It's breezy, witty, funny, smart. Hell, it's just like me.

Stupid internet

Damn you internet connection. I wrote a zombiefull post yesterday. It was short but sweet. Fing internet went away sometime during my writing, and didn't even save my stupid post. I'm not re-writing it. grrr