Monday bleh

Well, today certainly is a Monday. I think I'm coming down with a cold or sinus thing. Work is crazy busy, but leaning more towards the crazy. Saturday I went to StepSis's house, her family lives in Round Lake Beach. They have a kick ass deck and pool, so it was pool/bbq fun time. Except for the fact that both my StepBro and StepBroInLaw were wearing WAAAAY too much cologne/body spray/whatever it was. Way way way too much. I ended up with a massive sinus headache that no amount of Tylenol could cure. That part of it sucked. Oh, turns out I suck at Rock Band. Huh. I told my 16 year old nephew that when I was his age we sat around and played real and actual instruments. I got a blank stare. I don't think he was impressed. I'm a little cranky and annoyed today. Can you tell?

Last night

My lovely sitting outside looking at pictures of friend's trip to Europe was brought to me by:

Um, can you say YUM?

I love Allagash, it's delicious.

I also love sitting outside at a bar, having a few drinks, good naturedly swatting away bugs. There's nothing quite like Chicago in the summertime.

WILD life

Y'all recall the fairly recent "racoon incident", as I like to call it? Well, here's what happened last night: Pulling up to my house last night. A little tipsy, and on the phone with Shannon. Me: "I gotta go!! There's two skunks right in front of my house!" click These two baby skunks (awesome, there's a big fat momma skunk somewhere too) look at me, give me the finger, and RUN UNDER MY CAR. THAT I'M SITTING IN. I call VonSis "Halp!!!!! Halp!!!!" "What?" "There's two skunks under my car! Oh my God! Are you home!?!?!" "I'm looking out the window at you. I don't see them" "That's because they are under my car! Halp!" "Put your car in reverse." I do. One skunk runs out and across the street. He sits just across the street, grinning and glaring at me. The other skunk? MIA. Fuck "Halp!" "Only one came out. I see it! Come up the front stairs!" "No! Halp!!!" I decide to risk it, and try to jump out of my car. My backpack strap gets stuck on my emergency brake, and I can't get out of the car!! I'm shaking and bouncing around, totally looks like I'm having a seizure. VonSis is watching this all from the safety of her second story window. Angry punk skunk is still looking at me from just barely across the street. He gives me the finger again. I get the bag loose, fly out of the car, walk quickly to the front door. Going "Eek! Help!Eek! HALP!Eek! Bleh!" the whole time. Get in the house. Look out the window. And the evil brat skunk? Back in front of my house. What is up with the Chicago area wildlife!?!?!?

More throwing $$ away

I'm thinking about getting a cleaning lady. For reals. But, Von, you ask, don't you live in like 418 square feet? Why, yes, reader, I do. And thanks for paying attention these last couple of years. No, I'm not that lazy, as some might think. It's more of a time thing. This past weekend I cleaned and scrubbed and dusted and scrubbed the hell out of my bathroom. This took time. The bathroom is now immaculate. And then I ran out of time. The living room crapet (not a typo. I hate the carpeting so much, it's now the crapet) is in need of vacuuming. Or wacumming - direct quote from old room-mates very German father: "Wonnie! Und you must wacuum!! Dis whooooole room! Wonnie! Must wacuum!!!" Ahem. The living room crapet is in dire need of a good solid vacuuming. I.ran.out.of.time. No kidding. So. I'm thinking of throwing yet more $$ away and hiring someone else to clean my place. Not weekly or anything, it'll be more of a once a month deep clean, with me doing the weekly maintenance. I like a clean neat house. Of course, the German in me will need to be there, at least the first couple of times, to make sure things are done right. This, then, will save me no time at all. But it'll be done right. Hey, don't judge.

Ouch

Man. No one can ever really hurt you as much as your friends can. Call it a life lesson.

And this is the concert I went to last Sunday:

He was totally on my "Concert Bucket List". Such a great show. One of the best times I've had this summer.

The big wedding

So, here's the rest of my awesome weekend last weekend. Saturday was VonBro(the elder)'s wedding. He married WW, who is a super awesome woman. From Hong Kong. This meant not your typical wedding, uh-uh, no way, not even close bub. The parts I didn't participate in: VonBro had to go to China Town to WW's house and perform feats of loyalty and strength to get to see his bride. I hear there was running, wasabi ice cubes, bribery - VB had a $1,000 bill that he offered to the bridesmaids, to no avail. The final offer was leaving the ladies the limo to take to the church. I hear it worked. Day after wedding dim sum (or however you spell it) the day after. I was somewhere else. I'll tell you where later. Whole roasted pig. Um, bleh. . I was second reader in the Catholic mass. It didn't help that for the three days leading up to the wedding the only practicing I did was "Love is patient! Love is kiiiindddd!" said in a loud, horrifying southern mans voice. God only knows where I got this idea in my head. But it made me laugh. First reader was eldest nephew, who has *ahem* an effeminate way about him. And oh-sweet-Jesus, he's an uptalker. His reading went something like this "A REEEEding from the Boook of Genissssssisss? And GOd? He said to Adaaaaaam?" Ok, at least I could not possibly do worse than he did. I did get reprimanded for not bowing or some shit before I went up to read. Um, really? As a lapsed Catholic who really does not believe in Mass, you're lucky I even knew where to go to do my reading. The church part was ok, but anytime the Catholics want to spend some $$ and get some a/c in the churches, that would be good. It wasn't too bad, but lining up for pictures was hot. We took many many many family pictures. This is a little rough, considering there are seven of us kids, five have spouses, four have kids, that's a LOT of people to corral. Best part of church, my poor skinny little VonDad made it through without fainting, so that's good. Most interesting part of church - I cried like a sissy pretty much the whole time. WTF. Either I was more tired than I thought, or I'm ready for a boyfriend or something. It was weird. I usually confine my crying to the privacy of my own home. Blubbering mess I was. Went from north side Chicago church to China Town recepti0n, which is south Loop, point being TOTALLY FAR AWAY FROM EACH OTHER. VonSis and I hauled ass as we had some reception prep to do. Namely, the god-damned cupcake monstrosity. Long story short, there was a VonMom vision that involved miniature and regular sized cupcakes, one ginormous cupcake that VonSis and I were tasked with making happen. The making happen part involved a Styrofoam ball and tooth picks. We were supposed to make this orb look like a big pretty flower with mini cupcakes. Cupcakes are no strangers to gravity. Put a cupcake on, move on to the next one, blop, there goes the one you just put on. We were short on both time and cupcakes, so the situation just got worse and worse. VonSis and I were laughing to the point of crying. VonSis was also crying kinda because she did not want anyone to know that she had anything to do with this. "This is horrible" "hahhaaahahahaaa" wipes eyes "I hate this. I hate butter cream" "Hey! I watch Food Network Challenge!! If they can make a working roller coaster out of sugar and chocolate, we can make an orb of mini cupcakes look like a flower!!" "ahahaaaahahaaaa" holds sides, doubles over, nearly pees on self "Back to work!" Not going to lie, it was pretty bad. Ugly, even. It looked like a 1976 Tournament of Roses parade float on acid. But it was soooo funny to work on!! WW had no less than four dresses at the reception. She looked lovely. She had an American white wedding dress, a red and gold Chinese pants suit, a grey (gorgeous!!!!) American evening gown, and a red and gold super awesome Chinese dress. So very cool. Every time she left the room, I was excited to see what she was wearing when she came back. That part of it was very cool. The menu It was a gigantic Chinese menu. I'll try to remember all that we ate: Cold pork platter - I didn't eat this. I ate a little of the jelly fish garnish that was on it. Crab claw stuffed with crab and lobster - um, yes please!! So so so good Shark fin soup - I ate this. Even though Shannon called the consistency viscous Shrimp and scallops - so so so so good! Crispy skin chicken - good, but could have done without the head being on the platter Beef and Chinese vegetables - meh. Ok, not great Lobster with garlic - so so so so good. No one else really ate it at our table. Shannon and I went to town. Yin Yang fried rice - I was full, I didn't eat it Noodles with mushrooms - again, full, didn't eat it Mango and coconut flan type thing - full, didn't eat it Dessert - um, i hear it's hot bean soup, with beans that have soaked in sugar for a long time. bleh. no thanks and there's one or two other dishes I can't remember. A huge huge meal, and way better than I thought it was going to be! Dancing, cake cutting, etc etc. Me trying to get 16 year old nephew to drink with me. Didn't go so well. I tried. I'm the cool aunt. Cried some more during the first dance and cake cutting and such. Again, wtf? Was forced to the dance floor for the bouquet toss. Oh, hell no. Was the tallest girl in the group - Damn Asians!!! I lined them all up in front of me as a defensive tactic. All the sudden I hear "Go Von!" and I look over, there's VonMom and VonSis sitting with their fingers crossed. I daintily gave them the finger. Defense worked, no bouquet for me. Many Grey Goose vodka & tonics later, I was ready to go. Overall, a good time. I forget that sometimes it can be fun to be with my crazy, huge family.