I've got nothin'

I don't want to write about what I thought I wanted to write about. I wrote a whole post, and then deleted it. Then I stared at my screen for about five minutes, waiting for some inspiration. None came. I'm stumped. See what happens when it snows?!?!?!

Was that supposed to be a long weekend?

And people wonder why I am tired. Here's a recap of what should have been a restful long weekend. Thursday: Up early. Watch the parade on t.v. Turn on the wrong channel, get confused as to why this sucks. Why isn't there any singers and dancers and Broadway numbers? Oh, I'm on the wrong channel. I'm an ass. 12:30 head over to eldest step-sister. Bite tongue (repeat/repeat/repeat) tweet all of the things I cannot say out loud. Overload twitter with all of the things I cannot say out loud. Get in fight with he-thinks-his-shit-doesn't-stink elder step-bro. 4:00 head over to Chris' aka home of delightful God-child. Eat, drink, hug and kiss delightful God-child again and again and again...... Head home at 10:30. Fall asleep on couch like the old lady I'm turning into. Friday: Up at dawn (ok, 8ish). Head to dad's favorite diner to meet VonParents for breakfast. Recap of Thanksgiving, I get snarky, I get shot down. blah blah. Go to VonParents' house for some stuff. 11am: home and time to decorate. 11am - 4:30pm decorate non-stop. OhmyGod I have a lot of crap. Holy shit, I have a million ornaments. This is dumb. I can't keep doing this all by myself. Lug seven rubbermaids back down to storage. Curse them. Wish Christmas was more than a month away, because a month seems like a very short amount of time for all of this gosh darn work I had to do. 6:00 Meet John and Toni for dinner at das BrauHaus. Beer. German food. Time with two of my most favorite people ever. Awesome. 9:00. Home. Cannot move. All joints have locked up from overdoing of the manual labor all day. Fall asleep in chair, sitting up, for two hours. 11:30 Debate continuing to sleep in chair all night long, to avoid getting up. 11:35 Decide my crappy decorations might start a fire, so I might as well get up and unplug them, then I might as well go to bed. ouch. Saturday: Guitar class. Felt picked on. Not so happy this week. Pinky actually starts to bleed due to f-ing up some chord changes. Reconsider my musical calling. Recommit to musical calling. Music is pain. Run errands. Dollar store, grocery store, pharmacy, bank. Begin work on holiday cards. 9:00: OH MY GOD I CANNOT SIT IN THIS HOUSE ANYMORE NO MATTER HOW CUTE IT IS. Run out the door to meet Jessica and her bf and parents for a drink. Or three. Or four. Get home a little later than I expected. Sunday: Stroz brings breakfast. I'm pissed, as I have to put a bra on, which was not part of my plan for the day. Entertain Stroz. 11:35: Start being mean to Stroz so he'll leave. I have a plan for the day, and this is no longer part of it! 11:37 - 3:00ish: bake. bake. bake. Bake some more. Oh, and do laundry and take out trash while all this baking is going on. 3:01ish. Tell myself I'm an awesome baker. Because I am. 3:30: Out the door to Jon and Teresa's with some cookies. Hang out til half time of the Bears game. Half time (I no longer know what actual time it is): run to VonParents' with cookies. How long is halftime? This is as much time as I'm allowed to visit. She's that die-hard. 1st minute of third quarter of Bears game: Drive home. Shit, I have 1/2 of my holiday cards to write out! 9:00 cards done, yet strewn all over living room floor. Fall asleep to the news. 9:55: Damn it. I have to do that 'get into the actual bed and set the actual alarm thing' So, how well rested are you?

Grateful is Great

Turning off the bitch, and turning on the schmoop: This year, my list is long. Some things are the same, some things are new, and some have dropped off. Most currently, I'm grateful that my Metra stop is also an El stop. Thus getting me home when many many people were stuck on the Metra for over an hour Monday night due to weather. I'm grateful for my job. I more than love it. I'm treated better than I've ever been treated in my working life. I have fun every day. I work for and with some of the brightest, nicest, best people in the world. I'm grateful for Old Town. I've met some of the most interesting people there. Plus, I'm beginning to actually consider myself a musician, a life long goal of mine. I realized on Saturday (smack dab in the middle of butchering "Imagine") that my happiest moments, my best me, is when I'm sitting in guitar class. Not only am I actually improving, but my singing voice has gotten even more awesome. I'm grateful for my apartment. It's my warm, cozy little sanctuary where I can let everything go, and just be. I'm not there as often as I'd like, but when I am there I feel safe and like I can recharge. And, truthfully, I'm grateful that my sister is my landlord. When she's in a good mood. I love when she'll just come downstairs and hang out with me. Even if we're just watching tv together. I'm so glad I decided to move in there, and she's the main reason I have no desire to leave. I'm grateful for this grande decaf non-fat cinnamon dolce with whip that I'm chugging down right now. Sipping. I mean sipping. Yum. I'm grateful for my family. Those that I know, and those that I don't. I'm grateful to teh fb for helping me to better know those that I don't. I love that I can tell my little (ok, she's 26 now, but to me, she's little J) cousin Pinz (ok, her real name is Lindsay Jaye, but I call her little J or Pinz. Little J because her mom stole my middle name, spelled it differently and gave it to her. So I'm big J, she's little J, and that's enough of this parenthesis) any way, I can tell Pinz that I love her, and she tells me the same. Just because we're family. I love the family that is wholly mine, and mine via a step. My family is nothing if not unique. And that uniqueness makes us interesting, entertaining, and fun. I'm so so so grateful for my friends. Stealing from a cool chick I know, friends are the family you choose. That couldn't be more true.

• Laura, though we're going through some bumps right now, is still my number 1 go to whenever something happens, good or bad. I love that she just knows who everyone is, because she's been there for almost 22 years.
• Shannon is my friend that I should have known my whole life, and plan to know until the end of time. She's that which was missing and I didn't even know it. First to pick me up when I'm down, there's nothing we wouldn't do for each other.
• And now, by extension TheMarty. Same deal. He's more of a brother than a friend. He's the person I want to talk to for hours and hours and hours about Phil Collins' merits and a sundry of other topics.
• Chris is the light to my dark, and the only person who has ever been my roommate, and the only person I could imagine being my roommate. She's given me the greatest gift I've ever gotten - my god-daughter Lizzie. Chris is my Thanksgiving hostess with the mostest who gives the best hugs.
• SIL1X is one of my favorite friends. She's my go to for Olive Garden indulging, or Scene It playing, or just sitting around chatting having a blast. She's so easy to be friends with. The moment I met her I knew that she and I were going to be good friends. She gives me confidence and makes me feel good about myself. She's another one on the short list when I need advice.
• Jessica has come strong out of the gate of awesome, and I feel so lucky to have her as a friend. She's honest, caring and an all around good human all of the time.
• The Boston 5. I have never, never, never been in such a situation where I've met 5 of the best people in the world. And they like me! They really like me!! When I crave going to Boston, it's really to the 5 of you that I want to travel. I know that you're my friends, and that makes me all smiley.
• Everyone else. I'm one of the lucky ones in that I have the very best people around me.

I'm also grateful for you, my reading audience (all two of you). My blog roll. My friends. Those of you that I've met - Jennifer, ZRM, MenD, Snag, Chuckles, Brando, TLB - you people are now my friends, and you're stuck with me!! :) All kidding aside - I feel like some of you know, or at least get, me better than people I've known for years. The support and honesty you give to me is such a gift. You pick me up, way up, when I'm down. I feel I can be totally honest with you here, and that you won't mock me. Ok, you'll mock me, but in a nice good-natured way. Please always be yourselves, and let me know how you feel. Even when we don't agree, we'll still be friends. K-Unit, B4, Mikey, Fish, and the rest of you motley crew - you mean the world to me. It's my privilege to get to know you, and call you friends.

I'm grateful that I have awesome hair. Because I do. And an awesome wit and good comedic timing.

I'm grateful that I can spell and use grammar properly. Clearly, this is a honed skill that not many people have.

And now that the snark has crept its way back into the post, I'll end it here.

Know that I'll be thinking of you tomorrow, wishing you a very Happy Thanksgiving, and being thankful for you.

Change is a sucky thing

The more things change, the more they change. I remember my first Christmas Eve morning that I didn't live at home. I woke up and started crying because things were changing, and even though (at the time) I thought they were changing for the better, they were indeed changing. I wanted to be in my old bed, in my parents house, not in my room in my apartment. The bf (at the time) was there, and tried to comfort me and told me that every Christmas from then on would be him and me, and that would be all happy happy and wonderful. And I (at the time) believed him. Here I am, a number of years later, and things are changing again, and not for the better, again. Every year for the past 21 years, I have spent Christmas day with Laura's family. Her mom would make this fantastic meal, and it was my tradition. Sure, there were little changes over the years, people would come and go, but there was always dinner at Laura's parents' house. My favorite memory is one from the years that Laura was married. Laura had to do double duty, so the plan was for her to eat dinner at her parents' house, then head over to her (at the time) hubby's family for dessert and then come back. I stayed at her parents' house. It was just me and Laura's parents. I went in to the living room. Her dad followed. We chatted for a few minutes. He fell asleep, her mom came in to the room, we chatted for a few minutes. She fell asleep. I fell asleep. It's being that comfortable with people that makes them family too. I just found out last night that Laura's mom is not cooking this year. These days, Laura lives pretty far away now. These days, Laura is pregnant, and will be very very pregnant on Christmas. Plus Laura's son will be with his dad. So, no Christmas day for me. Sure, I knew it was coming, but I wasn't ready for it to be now. And I've got no Plan B. I really don't think I'll be staying at my parents' house all day. I spend the night there Christmas Eve (our tradition. Well, tradition and I'm traditionally pretty sloppy drunk and can't drive home) and we have Christmas morning and go out to breakfast. That's about all the time I can take with them. I know that it would be very very bad for me to just sit at home by myself. Are pizza joints even open on Christmas day? I have to come up with something, and fast. Just thinking about it makes me all sick and sad. I know, I knew change it was a comin'. It doesn't mean I have to just take it in the gut and smile about it. This post brought to you by the phrases "at the time" and "these days"

Shamless

I met the most, let me clarify THE MOST important person in my gigantic company today. He shook my hand. I "nicetomeetyou"d it was pretty awesome. Ahem. I tell you this because I am sitting here, at my desk at work way way way overdressed. I'm talking black dress, sweater, tights, real shoes, necklace, watch and earrings. Full face of makeup. Hair managed. On a Friday. I didn't do this for the big guy (solely). I did this out of my mad time management skillz. Tonight immediately following work I have an event for the Germans that keep me on their Board. I sometimes use this space to record (for me, not really for you) what I'm doing when I'm super busy. Sooo I'm going to do that for this weekend: Tonight: Lincoln Square Chamber of Commerce Holiday Dinner Tomorrow: Knee doc (really hope I'm coming to the end of these visits), guitar class, meet friends to go to Navy Pier for dinner and "HP 7 part 1" at IMAX. Sunday: Book Club at 4:00. John's band show at 8:00. I'm a little on the fence about that, but it's a Double Door show, which is huge. Also, I haven't seen the band in a while, so I'll likely go. This schedule is why I had a list of eight things to do at home last night. A list that I added to, and got through except for one item. I rock. I hope your weekend is fantastic, and maybe a little more restful than mine. Unless you are one of the two trolls that I'm sure are lurking. I hope your weekend sucks as much as you do. I'm sure it will, since you are morons with nothing of substance or value to do.

A warning

Keep an eye out for trolls.

Hating the Holiday Haters

Say that ten times fast. I'm back, and angry as ever. Today's topic? The Holiday Lite. Aka WLIT, aka 93.9 on your Chicago radio dial. VonSis and I have (generally) vastly different musical tastes. Except when it comes to one thing. Christmas music. Specifically, when 93.9 WLIT "turns on the Holiday Lite" and switches over to 24/7 Christmas music. In recent years, the lucky day has been November 1st. Not so this year. So, every day from 11/1 onward, there's me and VonSis each checking 93.9 every time we got in our cars to check. Awww. Nothing. Friday night, I'm in Michigan with Shannon, drinking some beers, playing some games. I get a phone call from VonSis. There's things and stuff going on at home that compel me to answer the call. "Hello?" "IT'S ON!!" "What?" "The Holiday Lite! It's on!!!" So, since yesterday I've been listening to nothing but Christmas songs. For me, it's not truly the Season until I hear "Do They Know It's Christmas". It's a long sappy story, but that's my Season kick off song. Yes, I have Noelly tunes on at work. Right. Now. People can mock, bitch, piss and moan on teh FB as much as they want. Um....turn the damn channel, bitches. Yesterday, I was driving home from some errands, and was sitting at a red light. Well, "Last Christmas" by George Michael was on, so I started rocking out with my bad self in my car. Swaying, yell/singing, the whole nine. Across from me two women started mocking me. I gave them the double finger. Don't mock when I've got my Holiday Rock Out going on. I may be festive, but I will still cut you. ho ho hooooooo