Ha has from the hospital

A few times last week, while in the hospital, certain things were said or done and I thought to myself - Damn, that would make some good blog fodder. So, here's what I can remember: In the ER: ER Nurse: Is there any chance you are pregnant? Me: Nooooo. -she walks away and quickly comes back- ER Nurse: Are you not pregnant because of any surgery or condition that prevents pregnancy? Me: *sigh* No. I just haven't gotten any in about a year. ER Nurse walks away, quickly, but didn't get far enough before she busted out in laughter. I think I made her night. Day 1: Indian Med student asks many many questions. He walks away, remembers to ask something, comes back...... IMS: Do you have any other STDs? Me: Nooooo IMS: Ok and turns to leave Me: Excuse me? IMS: ? Me: You should be careful how you word things..... IMS: ? Me: Well, you said any other STDs. This indicates that I have a STD, which I do NOT have. IMS: Sorry, my English is not so good. Me: Well, for future reference..... IMS: Thank you. I will remember that. I'll bet he will. *ring ring* Lady: Food service? Me: I'd like some food? Lady: Of course! What do you want? Me: x y z..... Lady: Don't you want some dessert? Our ice cream is very good! Me: Oh, and some chocolate ice cream! **I then realized I kinda liked this part of the stay** The missing Gibb brother was my Transport dude. Not once, not twice, but three times. I wanted to ask him about his delightful hair style and very 70s clothes each time, but I realized my very sick self was in his hands. He could have totally dumped me on the floor at any point. So I left it alone. But I swear, he was the missing Gibb. My NCT (nursing care tech) was TOTALLY hitting on me. Though married, he dug me. And my h1n1 self. He was chatting with me while I was waiting to get the final heave-ho. He came over, gave me a half-hearted kinda awkward hug, and said "Maybe I'll see you at Walmart some time." Um....Walmart? Not likely. I'm a classy, refined Target kind of girl, mister.

Friday Funday

So, I began talking to my toaster today. I think it's time for me to get back out there and interact with humans. I did have a nice visit with StepSis1 yesterday. She brought me orange juice, and pop chips, and nail polish. AND she came inside and visited for a bit. No one else has done that this week. IT was soooo nice. ANYWAY Friday Funday. So, I had me some H1N1. Aka Swine Flu. What would you re-name it to? TO better suit me? Or, if you were to get it, what would you call it? aaaaannnndd scene.

I can post Rush Video Too

Update

And the results are in: H1N1. Go me! I mean, go big or go home, right? Thankfully, all of the other things have resolved - blood pressure and oxygen back to good, fever gone. I'M HOME Still under quarantine for the next few days, no work, no human interaction. I'm still contagious. But, I'M HOME! And clean, and in clean clothes, and warm, and doing laundry, and reading magazines, and sitting, not lying, down. Man, I'd love a good coloring book right about now. :) I'll be taking the rest of the week off, as being in the hospital and now in quarantine it's pretty boring, so not a whole lot of inspiration, but I'll be back next week. Thanks again friends!!

FYI

SO, what's worse than being alone on Valentine's Day? Being in the hospital, alone, on Valentine's Day. That's right friends, I'm in the hospital. Likely the flu & pneumonia, no confirmation yet, still waiting. I've been here since about 1am Sunday morning. Blood pressure and oxygen level need to go up, fever needs to go down. I'm 10 shades of miserable. Hope to go home tomorrow, but there are a lot oaf ifs and maybes around that. I'll keep you posted.

Friday Funday!!!

Today's topic? Words and the spelling of them. There are certain words I avoid using when blogging, mostly because my spell checker is a fickle bitch and only works when it feels like it. And, as we all know, there are a few grammar/spelling police around the place, so..... My word that I avoid most is: definitely I can never ever spell it properly, and YES I did go to dictionary.com and look it up before writing it here. Today question - ok, well, two questions - What word(s) can you absolutely definitely not spell correctly every freaking time you use it? OR What word(s) are you convinced you've spelled incorrectly every time you use it, but it's actually correct and it just looks funny to you? Extra points for profanity - you know how I roll. Have at it, frenz.

mah luma lumma lums

When I was a little girl, a little younger than my precious God-daughter is now, there was only one person I wanted to be. My favorite show was Kids, Incorporated. I wanted to sing! I wanted to dance! I wanted to kiss cute boys! I wanted to work in this magical place that was all kids and no silly grown ups! I wanted to be Stacey Ferguson. Oh, did she have pretty curly blonde hair! And a great singing voice! And look at that hair! Man, she had the bestest clothes and jewelry, all neon and slouchy and awesome! Flash forward a number of years Sunday night, watching the Super Bowl with J & T, two of my most favorite people on Earth. I found myself saying it again. I want to be H E R. Fergie = Stacey Ferguson (in case you lived under a rock or something) Or do her. I can admit it -she's top of my If-I-was-I-would list. Me: I want to be her. T: Me too. Me: But I'd totally divorce her man, Josh. T: No, he's hot. Me: Agreed, but there are hotter men out there, and as her, I could schtup ALL of them. Being married would just be a road block to that. T: Agreed. Me: I'd do her. J: ? Me: I would. She's that hot. T: Me too. J: This. This is why I like hanging out with you two. But GOD FORBID when precious God-daughter told me a couple of years ago that she "loved and wanted to be like that lady". Me: Which lady, precious? GD: The one that sings and dances and wears the clothes. Me: ? You gotta help me out here. What does she sing? GD: Mah lums! Mah luma laalie lumms!! Me: Oh, hell NO!! Sorry kid, over my dead body! GD: pout and stamp feet. Sorry, but the Stacey Ferguson of today is NOT the Stacey Ferguson of yesterday.