Not awesome

Things are not going awesome in the world of online dating, at least for me.
I've had a few go nowhere texters.
I did meet one guy the other night.
I was sure that I would be the one to politely decline a second date, as in my opinion I was 100% dating down, but he gave me the heave ho via email the next day.
Sure, it was two hours and $4.75 of my time, but it's shaken my ability to read people.
It has also called in to question my high opinion of myself.  Perhaps I am not as awesome as I think I am.  Or, even worse, perhaps my personality does NOT outweigh other less stellar attributes.

Tonight, I'm supposed to be meeting Junior. I call him Junior because he is 5 years young and 3 inches shorter than what I consider my minimums.  But, he's persistent, and we've had some fun via email.  A little concerned we are meeting without having even exchanged phone numbers yet.  Stranger still that the meeting is likely to occur at either my house or his.  This is only because our first meeting plan is to have an incredibly competitive game of Scrabble.  Sure, I could get murdered, or disappear, BUT if I do go to his place, it will be proof to me that he is not married.

I may be way too naive for this whole Internet dating thing.  My biggest concern is this:
My friends are so fantastic, and do not lie to me.  I do not lie, in fact, one of my faults is being way too honest way too much of the time.  I'm finding out through this Internet trial by fire that I assume everyone is as honest as my friends and I are, all of the time.  I need to stop doing that.  It's not doing me any good, not in this area, at least.

So, this is more of a rant than a post. But it's all that's in my head right now.

Von for MEOW

Um, so I don't have a cat, I'm allergic. But if I could, this would be my cat.
This is Simon's Cat.
If you haven't seen any of these before, you are MISSING OUT.
So check out the rest.

p.s. I do an awesome Simon's Cat voice.

p.p.s. Yes, smart asses, I totally broke a sweat posting this video for you.

Happy Friday.

Plenty of what the f.......

In an effort to forget that L ever existed, and to get myself out of the emotional rut I've been in, amongst other things....
I drunkenly signed up on two free dating websites.
Why one when you can be on two??

Anyway. I did this over the weekend when I was home, alone, drunk.

So, yeah, not an awesome start right there.

The upside, though, is that I'm damn funny, even when drunk.  So my profiles read wicked awesome.  And I have three cute pictures of me that I put up.

I forgot about it, then went on both sites Sunday afternoon to see what was up.
Oh, F word.

Damn it all to hell. Fat fetishists (ICK) and chubby chasers galore.  NOT for me.
So, I had to put the bitch beat down on every single one of those.  Some were a little more persistant than others - those had to be reported to the sites.  I do not play around with the nasty side of things.

Once I got over the shock of all the nasty, I weeded out some definitely nots - nicely, sent them all reply emails with various reasons why they were not the one, ending with 'Good luck with your search!' - and ended up emailing with a few very nice dudes.

It's now Wednesday, and I'm up to three Tims, who are now Tim Dom, Tim Pumpkin Hat, and Tim Cupid; Bill (fiesty one), Jeff  (sweet and too young, but the email was so nice he's in the keep pile), Adam (we'll see on this one) and two other dudes I don't know the names of yet.

I'm really kinda not too serious about this, some might call them place holders (ahem, story for another day, if it ever gets fully resolved), but I'm willing to give it a shot.

The downside is that it's like a gdmn part time job. The texting, the emailing, the picture posting, the updating.  Thank God both sites have apps for my Android. Still, though, it's a pain in the ass.

Currently in the lead is Tim Cupid, who I'm likely to meet this weekend. He's heading out of town next weekend for 2 months for work training. So we're going to meet to see if we want to be email or text friends while he's away.  He's hilarious, and agrees that I have fantastic hair.

At the very least, you all should get some pretty good stories out of this whole thing.

And oh, yeah, my internet crushes - you probably know who you are - you're still in my heart o' hearts, you're just both so damn far away.......

Random Monday

• Someone is heating up something stinky. It's only 11am, c'mon people.
• I'm going to see the Mekons on Wednesday. And hanging out with a Zombie. Be jealous.
• Bedroom overhaul 2011 is moving forward, full steam ahead.  I have about two weeks to take everything out of there and clean it. Then my bestie will be painting it. Hopefully after that the overlords will be putting it all back together when I'm out of town.
• I'm going to BOSTON!! In 18 days.
• Oh, and Shannon and TheMarty are going too.......
• I'm learning new things about college football. I like to yell "GO BIG RED!"
• I only moped minimally this past weekend. Yeah me. 
• Von birthday fun times is happening 10/28. Get yourselves to Chicago, and I'll buy you a beer. I swear it.
• The episode of Dr. Who on Saturday blew my mind. I watched it twice. TWICE.
• SNL was actually good on Saturday - Melissa McCarthy was hosting. Enough said.
• I love having a DVR thingy.
• I've read 27 pages of A Dance with Dragons.  Only 800,000,000 to go.

All I can write today

Once upon a very different time,
There was a very different girl,
With purple plaid well fought for,
A blue ring that was never quite right,
and yard and yards of perfect white satin

Movies movies movies (aka Von's boring weekend)

So, L was out of town this past weekend, and likely is in the process of kicking me to the curb (more on that another day)
Which worked out well, because one of my bosses needed me to do some work over the weekend.
And by some, I mean a lot of mind numbing researchy stuff.
So I thought
'Hey! I can finally watch those two movies I've had from Netflix since June!'
I am so not kidding. What, I get busy a  lot.
First up?
The Social Network. I liked this movie. I dare say I even liked it more than I thought I was going to like it.
Followed by:
The Kids are All Right. Or whatever the fuck it's called. I stopped caring by about minute 29. Needless to say, I hated this movie, and everything about it. I guess it's cool to name your kid Laser. I guess. Ok, no, it's actually not cool at all. Hated this so much, I want that time back.
Since I was on a movie kick, I ordered Paul on the tv.
I was SO disappointed in this! I am a huge Simon Pegg/Nick Frost fan. I will watch Hot Fuzz, Spaced, or Shaun of the Dead over and over and over and over.
Hated Paul. Perhaps because I hate Seth Rogen, and he voices the alien, but no, I think it was way more than that.
Sigh.
Looking for some movie redemption, and a break from working, went to see Contagion.
Great movie. Saw it with a friend who has a Master's degree in Public Health.
She filled me in on how very realistic it was.
Awesome.
Remembered my shitty health year I've been having.
Went home and googled "bubble". No such luck.  I now have hand sanitizer containers just about Everywhere.

Sorry, this one is a downer

You all know I'm addicted to delightful God-daughter (DGD, I'll call her for the rest of this post) like she's crack.
She's everything to me, and the closest thing I'll ever have to my own offspring.

Well, Wednesday morning, I woke up to this text from her mom:
'One of DGD's friends died. I don't think I can handle this'

Friends, DGD is 11 years old.

She's never experienced death before, being lucky to have very healthy grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc.  I think she had a gold fish die once, that's about it.

After a flurry of texts and emails, I found out that DGD's friend and classmate had passed away six days before his 12th birthday. He had brain cancer, and had been diagnosed under a year ago. 

My stupid question was how is DGD handling it? Her mom told me that there's a lot of sobbing in their house, and things are not good.

The only thing I can think to do is cancel my plans for tonight, and go to this wake with them. Of course, both of DGD's parents will be there, but in this situation I think she needs all of the people around her that she can get.  Like I said, it's the only thing I can think to do. Being with her always makes me feel better, I can only hope that I do the same for her.  I don't think I'll have much to say, because what do you say?  VonMom said I need to be strong for DGD. I'm not sure how strong I'll be. Admittedly, I do not have nor ever intend to have kids of my own, but if anything were to happen to DGD, Oh My God. I can't even.......

So take this for what it is.  Hug someone you love today, whether they are a child or a grown up.  Love someone you hug today.

And say a prayer for that poor little boy.  May angels lead him in, and comfort his family.