- VonSis and I decided to get VonMom a piece of "mom jewelry" for Christmas, a little special something to make her feel special on this first Christmas without VonDad. I had the idea, I did the research, I found the necklace*. Well, ok, there were three that I liked, and I let VonSis make the final call. She picked my favorite, which has two charms - one star, one moon. Each will be engraved with one of our names. VonSis? Of course, she picked the star. It's cool though - I think the moon is more me anyway.
- Both VonSis and I realized that last night, the 14th of December, neither of us had even taken the plastic wrapping off of our chocolate advent calendars. Yep, neither of us is really feeling holidayish this year.
- I had dinner and drinks (ok, it was burgers and beers) with a friend last night. A friend, her husband, and their two kids. Turns out, my friend needs me. Just for someone to listen, or hug, or for advice. Time I climb out of my pity pit and help a sister out. Because lord knows she's been there for me more than a time or two. I'm happy to be needed instead of needy.
- I tried to use cheesy hair metal lyrics as my FB status updates this week. I'm ashamed to say it only lasted three days. Sigh. Ok, but please note, I was trying to use lyrics that fit in to my life. So, not just throwing up an "She's only 17....". But relevant. Or, as relevant as cheesy hair metal lyrics can be.
- I did use Dishwalla lyrics today, though not metal, they are the lyrics that are most like me, or so I've been told by more than a few dudes I know. They are: "You had the look like of an angel, it was such a bad disguise. When you drink it makes you angry, when I drink I want you more and more and more". Good song, better lyrics.
- Friday night is the much anticipated Sister Hazel show at the HOB. Sure, I bought one ticket, and would have been totally fine going by myself. BUT - it looks like I have at least two fine people meeting me there, so it will be an even more awesome time. Sure, go ahead and mock, but I love love love Sister Hazel live, and I didn't get to see them once last year. I can't let anymore time go by without seeing them. I need the mood lifter I know their shows give me.
- We're going to some fancy place tomorrow for holiday lunch. It's called Mercat a la Planxa. I was ho-hum about the decision to go there, I usually love our steak house holiday meals, but this place is owned by Iron Chef Jose Garces. NOW I'm intrigued!! I'll have to report back on that. We're also changing it up a bit, and going with some other people in the office, and not just LB1 and me. There's seven of us going all together. Should be fun.
- Book club book is 1Q84 by Murakami. I sadly had to put Dance with Dragons down again, as I'm obsessed with reading the book club book the second it's assigned to us. Um, a w k w a r d - there's a whole lotta sexy times in this book. Not that I can't talk about that kind of thing with book club, but, **shuffles feet** I'm not sure I can talk about that kind of thing with book club. And I'm only about 60 pages in.
*Etsy, bitches!! Shop small businesses this season !! yeah yeah yeah!!!
I don't know why I've been on a streak bender tear writing about man troubles lately, but here is another story for your reading pleasure.
If you recall, I had a wicked crush on GermanClassDude for a very long time. I had promised myself that should the occasion happen that one or both of us was no longer taking the class that I would ask him out.
A while ago (kinda too embarrassed to tell you just how long ago, so a while ago) it happened. He dropped the class, as did I, and I emailed him. We emailed back and forth for a bit, and I finally hit send on this email:
'well, let me know if you want to hang out sometime!'
And I received no response.
I was bummed, then I was pissed. I could not believe that this "nice guy" was not so nice, and I went out on a limb and .......righteous indignation etc.....
And I told my best gal pals all about it.
And then they dropped the bombs on me - one right after the other:
Apparently, my email was VAGUE and could be discounted and misinterpreted etc etc etc.
Time would pass, and I would see GermanClassDude around with his cute bald head and walking his cute little dog.....and I would seethe and ignore him. Sure, on the occasions that he saw me, he'd wave, and I'd kinda pretend to not see him and just keep on driving......
Gal pals decided recently to bring up this whole debacle. And they harangued me. And pestered me. Ok, maybe they just suggested nicely that I get to the bottom of this. Were they right? Was I vague? I am never vague!! Or was I right? He wasn't interested, and was not nice guy enough to just say it......
Then last night happened. I was a little tipsy with a combination of Champagne, beer, and sugar cookies, and I went online to see who was around.
And there he was.
Sigh
Gulp
Typy type type
Hi GCG!
Hey
So, I need to ask you a question!
Ok.
And then I proceeded to go there.
I said blah blah blah.....email
He said email? refresh my memory!
I did.
Then I asked the question - vague? or not interested?
and I waited
and I opened another beer
and I waited
Ah, yes, I remember this email.
It was, without a doubt VAGUE
Oh? Ok, well sorry to bother you blah blah blah (in my brain? Why the fuck did I even bring this up! He must think I'm insane! Because clearly, I am insane!)
His response:
There's something to the not interested too - I was dating a different woman at that time. But I should have responded, either way.
No no no!! Bluster back pedal (wtf am I doing!! crazyVon! crazy!)
Him: I'm sorry, though. I wasn't sure if you wanted to "hang out" or "go out"
in for a pound, in for a penny!!!
Me: Well, I wanted to hang out to see if we should maybe go out.....
Him: Oh. Yeah, still it was vague.
Me: And I'm guessing you're not single now....
Him: Nope
Me: Friends?
Him: Sounds good.
At least I have a story to amuse you. And I'm guessing he now has a story to amuse his friends and co-workers, so there's that.
And now I know the deal.
But, really, ME?!?! VAGUE!?!??
Happy Monday
Christ on a cracker.
That's what I muttered last night when:
I was sitting at Jury's having a drink with a lovely friend waiting for the rest of the book club ladies to show up
AND THEN
Lapse in Judgement 2010 walks in the fucking door.
With clearly his chubby yet not cute kinda troll looking girlfriend.
We avoided each other the entire evening.
Which didn't prevent me from thinking to myself fifteen times once or twice....
'Ew. I slept with him??'
I've always thought it was not only cool, but kinda handy to know a million billion people.
Because, I know a million billion people.
I'm not stupid nor vain enough to say all of these folks are my friends, but I do know them, and they know me.
LandOverLord recently said that he and VonSis are going to create a game called Six Degrees of Von. Bet it'd be just as interesting as the Kevin Bacon version.....
And in some instances, some of them swear they know me, but I don't know them - but I blame that on my horrible memory.
Anyway.
Last night came the first but I'm certain not the last time that knowing all of these people is not a good thing.
I was hanging out with A, who is one of my current distractions. We were talking about nothing in particular, when I remembered a question I had been meaning to ask him:
V: "Where did PC go to high school?"
A: "Loyola"
V: "God fucking damn it"
A: "?"
V: "This year's lapse in judgement (known to you, dear reader, as L) knows PC."
A: "Who's that?"
V: "L" **sigh**
A: "Oh damn. I know that guy. You dated that guy?!!?!"
V: "Dated? No....I just um.....you know how it is...."
A: "That guy is a douchebag. He had some issues too"
V: "Uh, huh. Well, PC is a douchebag, so I am so not surprised they are friends"
At this point, I lost any and all interest in any further discussion on the topic. On any topic really. Truthfully, I wanted A to leave.
A is not really a stupid guy, and he told me not to be upset about the whole L thing. I informed A that he had no idea what he was talking about, and that I had no interest in talking about it further.
Sure, I get it, I did this to myself. I could have kept the knowledge to myself, and I have no idea why I even brought it up. I think I knew the truth without having A validate it for me. I had no idea that I would get bummed out about it.
My ideas of fun, frivolous place holding distractions are already getting messy. I don't know if it's me or them, but it's definitely happening. I'm wracking my brains trying to figure out why this is happening, which isn't really helping.
Turns out I might be more of a girl than I currently like to admit to myself.
Today, I give you Fuck You Thursday
The topic of today's Fuck you? 2011.
All of it.
I'm done done done with it.
Here's a recap-
February - H1N1
March - Pneumonia
April - TMJ
May - Busted the hell out of my ankle, which lasted through August
July - This year's lapse in judgement (L bastard)
August - see July
September - Root canal that led to infection, that led to C Diff (again), that compromised my kidneys (again)
October - Lost my Dad
November - Porcupine in throat/chest cold from hell
With very few exceptions, 2011 has SUCKED for me. As in, the worst year of my life, as it contains the worst day of my life 10/23/11.
So, here I sit, counting down the days until 2012. No, I have no big plans for New Year's Eve. Likely, I'll be taking VonMom out to dinner then home to bed.
I have no hopes for 2012. I've turned in to a realist that way. No knight in shining armour will be sweeping me off my feet, I will not win the lottery, I will not write a prize winning book. I will not master the guitar and write the next great song.
I simply hope it will be slightly better than 2011.
Because I'm tired.
1) What are you reading at the moment?
A Dance with Dragons. George RR Martin
2) As a child, what did you read under the covers?
All of those evil VC Andrews books - Flowers in the Attic, etc. So scandalous.
3) Has a book ever made you cry, and if so which one?
The Time Traveler's Wife, and every freaking one of the Songs of Ice and Fire books. Stupid George RR Martin.
4) You are about to be put into solitary confinement for a year and allowed to take three books. What would you choose?
The Mists of Avalon, Pride and Prejudice, Behind the Mask: The IRA and Sinn Fein
5) Which literary character would you most like to sleep with?
The vampire LeStat
6) If you could write a self-help book, what would you call it?
You must be really F-ed, if You're Reading THIS Book
7) Which book, which play, and which poem would you make compulsory reading in high school English classes?
Book: The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao
Play: Go Ask Alice
Poem: Dr. Seuss (any and all)
8) Which party from literature would you most like to have attended?
The tea party from Alice in Wonderland
9) What would you title your memoirs?
Stop me when I'm Lying
10) If you were an actor, which literary character do you dream of playing?
Buffy from Feed
I've written and deleted three different posts for today.
I guess that goes to show where my mind is at.
But I wanted to post something, so the fourth time may be the charm.
Weekend Highlights:
- Shannon's birthday at DANK. Cupcakes, Schnapps, People, Bohnanza.
- Dance show at Old Town. Not just entertaining, but truly fascinating.
- Saturday night. Totally confused by my messed up memory and my misconceptions about someone. Pleasantly surprised overall.
- The play list I've been working on for a while is finally finished, and finally perfect.
- Solid three hour nap on Saturday, 2 1/2 hour nap Sunday.
- Work thing finished, handed in, and proud feelings about that.
Weekend Lowlights:
- "Tucked Dad In" aka - the interment of my Dad's ashes at the cemetery. Yes, I lost it a few times. I would have been ok-ish had the priest not brought up Thanksgiving. So I lost it.
- Person I really really really dislike that I had to work with at the Old Town. I try to ignore her, but it's pretty impossible.
- Breaking one of my own rules, which messed up most of my Sunday.
- Had a dream about Dad, woke up sobbing, could not fall back asleep.
- Questioning my ability to read people.