I just wrote and deleted three different posts. I didn't like my voice at all for them. That doesn't really happen, so I'm feeling not good about trying for a fourth. So, instead, here is the video of the song that Sister Hazel closed the show with on Friday.
For those of you not on teh FB, I need to let you know that after the show Friday night, I was genuinely, fully happy for the first time since I lost VonDad. So, love or hate the band, they did wonders for me just doing what they do. My favorite lyric of this song: Oh yeah, I might be crazy, that's not the same as insane. I know I'm scared, but that's not the same as being afraid.
Wow. Kinda get the feeling that I can pretty much write a bunch of nonsense here, and some people will just comment about whatever the fuck.
So, here's some nonsense.
Tonight, I go see Sister Hazel go ahead and mock, they are my favorite band to see live. I love them. I didn't get to see them at all in 2010, and I really missed them. So tonight I go. To House of Blues. No point in heading home to just head back downtown, so I'll be hanging around downtown solo for quite a bit tonight. Might get interesting.
Tomorrow night I go with VonMom and her two friends to the Songs of Good Cheer show at Old Town. This is a huge deal because: a) This show was one of VonDad's favorite things to do. b) I have never been to Old Town as a concert goer. Never. I don't even think I'll know how to just be there. I intend to be wasted anyway (see reason a)
Yesterday a little group of us from work - we are calling ourselves the South East Corner Group - went out for a little holiday lunch. Mad props to Mercat a la Planxa, home to Iron Chef Jose Garces. Informed of my food allergies, they were more than awesome to me, providing me with my own little plates of awesome when a dish contained something I could not have. Amazing food, tasty sangria. Your friend here had a little too much sangria, and now is subject to her fellow SECG people calling her Y-Von and Roxie. I need to learn now to not tell some of my highly amusing yet very personal stories.
Went to the bank yesterday to cash in a savings bond of mine that we had found in VonDad's things. Sure, the dude helping me was young, but I didn't think anything of it until he said: "Wow! I've never seen one of these this OLD!" Um....that was purchased for me when I was six months old. Fuck you, fuck your youth, and give me my fucking $131.57. Thanks.
Next week I am only working Monday, Wednesday and Thursday (hopefully just a 1/2 day on Thursday) and am then off until 1/3. I'm not entirely sure what kind of blogging I'll be doing in that time, part of the reason being that my internet connection at home is sketchy at best. Besides, since the end of October all I do when I'm not at work is sleep anyway, so not too much to write about there.
Anywho - so those are my tidbits for today. Now. go do what you all do, and write about completely unrelated things in my comments.
VonSis and I decided to get VonMom a piece of "mom jewelry" for Christmas, a little special something to make her feel special on this first Christmas without VonDad. I had the idea, I did the research, I found the necklace*. Well, ok, there were three that I liked, and I let VonSis make the final call. She picked my favorite, which has two charms - one star, one moon. Each will be engraved with one of our names. VonSis? Of course, she picked the star. It's cool though - I think the moon is more me anyway.
Both VonSis and I realized that last night, the 14th of December, neither of us had even taken the plastic wrapping off of our chocolate advent calendars. Yep, neither of us is really feeling holidayish this year.
I had dinner and drinks (ok, it was burgers and beers) with a friend last night. A friend, her husband, and their two kids. Turns out, my friend needs me. Just for someone to listen, or hug, or for advice. Time I climb out of my pity pit and help a sister out. Because lord knows she's been there for me more than a time or two. I'm happy to be needed instead of needy.
I tried to use cheesy hair metal lyrics as my FB status updates this week. I'm ashamed to say it only lasted three days. Sigh. Ok, but please note, I was trying to use lyrics that fit in to my life. So, not just throwing up an "She's only 17....". But relevant. Or, as relevant as cheesy hair metal lyrics can be.
I did use Dishwalla lyrics today, though not metal, they are the lyrics that are most like me, or so I've been told by more than a few dudes I know. They are: "You had the look like of an angel, it was such a bad disguise. When you drink it makes you angry, when I drink I want you more and more and more". Good song, better lyrics.
Friday night is the much anticipated Sister Hazel show at the HOB. Sure, I bought one ticket, and would have been totally fine going by myself. BUT - it looks like I have at least two fine people meeting me there, so it will be an even more awesome time. Sure, go ahead and mock, but I love love love Sister Hazel live, and I didn't get to see them once last year. I can't let anymore time go by without seeing them. I need the mood lifter I know their shows give me.
We're going to some fancy place tomorrow for holiday lunch. It's called Mercat a la Planxa. I was ho-hum about the decision to go there, I usually love our steak house holiday meals, but this place is owned by Iron Chef Jose Garces. NOW I'm intrigued!! I'll have to report back on that. We're also changing it up a bit, and going with some other people in the office, and not just LB1 and me. There's seven of us going all together. Should be fun.
Book club book is 1Q84 by Murakami. I sadly had to put Dance with Dragons down again, as I'm obsessed with reading the book club book the second it's assigned to us. Um, a w k w a r d - there's a whole lotta sexy times in this book. Not that I can't talk about that kind of thing with book club, but, **shuffles feet** I'm not sure I can talk about that kind of thing with book club. And I'm only about 60 pages in.
*Etsy, bitches!! Shop small businesses this season !! yeah yeah yeah!!!
I don't know why I've been on a streak bender tear writing about man troubles lately, but here is another story for your reading pleasure.
If you recall, I had a wicked crush on GermanClassDude for a very long time. I had promised myself that should the occasion happen that one or both of us was no longer taking the class that I would ask him out.
A while ago (kinda too embarrassed to tell you just how long ago, so a while ago) it happened. He dropped the class, as did I, and I emailed him. We emailed back and forth for a bit, and I finally hit send on this email: 'well, let me know if you want to hang out sometime!'
And I received no response.
I was bummed, then I was pissed. I could not believe that this "nice guy" was not so nice, and I went out on a limb and .......righteous indignation etc.....
And I told my best gal pals all about it.
And then they dropped the bombs on me - one right after the other: Apparently, my email was VAGUE and could be discounted and misinterpreted etc etc etc.
Time would pass, and I would see GermanClassDude around with his cute bald head and walking his cute little dog.....and I would seethe and ignore him. Sure, on the occasions that he saw me, he'd wave, and I'd kinda pretend to not see him and just keep on driving......
Gal pals decided recently to bring up this whole debacle. And they harangued me. And pestered me. Ok, maybe they just suggested nicely that I get to the bottom of this. Were they right? Was I vague? I am never vague!! Or was I right? He wasn't interested, and was not nice guy enough to just say it......
Then last night happened. I was a little tipsy with a combination of Champagne, beer, and sugar cookies, and I went online to see who was around. And there he was.
Sigh Gulp
Typy type type
Hi GCG! Hey So, I need to ask you a question! Ok.
And then I proceeded to go there. I said blah blah blah.....email He said email? refresh my memory! I did. Then I asked the question - vague? or not interested? and I waited and I opened another beer and I waited
Ah, yes, I remember this email. It was, without a doubt VAGUE
Oh? Ok, well sorry to bother you blah blah blah (in my brain? Why the fuck did I even bring this up! He must think I'm insane! Because clearly, I am insane!)
His response: There's something to the not interested too - I was dating a different woman at that time. But I should have responded, either way.
No no no!! Bluster back pedal (wtf am I doing!! crazyVon! crazy!)
Him: I'm sorry, though. I wasn't sure if you wanted to "hang out" or "go out" in for a pound, in for a penny!!! Me: Well, I wanted to hang out to see if we should maybe go out.....
Him: Oh. Yeah, still it was vague. Me: And I'm guessing you're not single now.... Him: Nope Me: Friends? Him: Sounds good.
At least I have a story to amuse you. And I'm guessing he now has a story to amuse his friends and co-workers, so there's that.
I was sitting at Jury's having a drink with a lovely friend waiting for the rest of the book club ladies to show up AND THEN Lapse in Judgement 2010 walks in the fucking door. With clearly his chubby yet not cute kinda troll looking girlfriend.
We avoided each other the entire evening. Which didn't prevent me from thinking to myself fifteen times once or twice....
'Ew. I slept with him??'
I've always thought it was not only cool, but kinda handy to know a million billion people. Because, I know a million billion people. I'm not stupid nor vain enough to say all of these folks are my friends, but I do know them, and they know me. LandOverLord recently said that he and VonSis are going to create a game called Six Degrees of Von. Bet it'd be just as interesting as the Kevin Bacon version..... And in some instances, some of them swear they know me, but I don't know them - but I blame that on my horrible memory. Anyway. Last night came the first but I'm certain not the last time that knowing all of these people is not a good thing. I was hanging out with A, who is one of my current distractions. We were talking about nothing in particular, when I remembered a question I had been meaning to ask him: V: "Where did PC go to high school?" A: "Loyola" V: "God fucking damn it" A: "?" V: "This year's lapse in judgement (known to you, dear reader, as L) knows PC." A: "Who's that?" V: "L" **sigh** A: "Oh damn. I know that guy. You dated that guy?!!?!" V: "Dated? No....I just um.....you know how it is...." A: "That guy is a douchebag. He had some issues too" V: "Uh, huh. Well, PC is a douchebag, so I am so not surprised they are friends"
At this point, I lost any and all interest in any further discussion on the topic. On any topic really. Truthfully, I wanted A to leave. A is not really a stupid guy, and he told me not to be upset about the whole L thing. I informed A that he had no idea what he was talking about, and that I had no interest in talking about it further.
Sure, I get it, I did this to myself. I could have kept the knowledge to myself, and I have no idea why I even brought it up. I think I knew the truth without having A validate it for me. I had no idea that I would get bummed out about it.
My ideas of fun, frivolous place holding distractions are already getting messy. I don't know if it's me or them, but it's definitely happening. I'm wracking my brains trying to figure out why this is happening, which isn't really helping.
Turns out I might be more of a girl than I currently like to admit to myself.
The topic of today's Fuck you? 2011. All of it. I'm done done done with it.
Here's a recap- February - H1N1 March - Pneumonia April - TMJ May - Busted the hell out of my ankle, which lasted through August July - This year's lapse in judgement (L bastard) August - see July September - Root canal that led to infection, that led to C Diff (again), that compromised my kidneys (again) October - Lost my Dad November - Porcupine in throat/chest cold from hell
With very few exceptions, 2011 has SUCKED for me. As in, the worst year of my life, as it contains the worst day of my life 10/23/11.
So, here I sit, counting down the days until 2012. No, I have no big plans for New Year's Eve. Likely, I'll be taking VonMom out to dinner then home to bed.
I have no hopes for 2012. I've turned in to a realist that way. No knight in shining armour will be sweeping me off my feet, I will not win the lottery, I will not write a prize winning book. I will not master the guitar and write the next great song. I simply hope it will be slightly better than 2011.
