**Pre post statement - I really couldn't care less your thoughts on God, so please, don't post them in the comments, m'kay? **
So, last night - I came very very close to being a gigantic moron.
Or, I WAS a gigantic moron last night, and missed very bad things by the skin of my teeth.
I was driving home from dinner with friends around 9:30ish. It was pouring rain - lots of thunder, lightning, wind, etc.
I decided I wanted to call my friend. Well, my phone was being stupid, so I spent a good amount of time trying to call my friend and not watching the road.
I looked up, and all of the cars in front of me were stopped and they were CLOSE.
I slammed on the brakes, hydro-planed, tensed up my whole body for the pending collision.
That never happened.
Somehow, I was able to stop my car mere inches from the car in front of me, and the car behind me was able to swerver off to the right to avoid hitting me.
What should have been a four car mash up was a big old scary nothing.
I have zero explanation for this other than divine intervention. For real.
I am equally ashamed and grateful. I can't believe I was so very careless.
I'm never touching my cell phone again when I'm driving. Never.
My entire upper body aches today, I'm guessing it's due to the mega-tensing up bracing I did.
So, stay smarter than me, and stay uninjured.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Fridge Note:
I appreciate all of your concern on the last post.
BUT
You all kinda missed the point.
And I feel, maybe, it was intentional?
Fat not a comfortable topic?
Anyway - thanks again for your concern. Message received.
BUT
You all kinda missed the point.
And I feel, maybe, it was intentional?
Fat not a comfortable topic?
Anyway - thanks again for your concern. Message received.
Friday, July 13, 2012
Just this once
I know that a while ago I stated on this here blog that I would not be using this medium as a way to talk about HAES and body positive views.
And I meant it.
I'm still not going to do that.
This blog is a mis-anthropic, no set topic, humor blog.
Or, the ramblings of a crazy angry me.
Anyway.
I'm just writing this post to vent, because this happened last night and it's still on my mind.
I was driving home from the train station to my house. I drive down a side street with many stop signs. One of the stop signs is a part of a four way stop, and the cross street is a major "busy" street.
I'm pretty aware at this intersection, because the cars on the busier cross street treat their stop sign as a suggestion rather than something they have to do.
Did I mention, I'm a pretty aggressive driver in general? Well, I am.....anyway.....
So, I pull to my stop sign as Car on the right is stopping and now going. SO, it's MY turn.
Second car on the right doesn't care, and he's going to go. Well, I don't give a shit, I'm already heading across the intersection, and I have the right of way, and I'm not stopping.
He inches up, I keep going, our game of chicken ends with me going (inches from his front bumper) and me, showing him the middle finger of my pretty new manicure.
He turns and follows me to the red light.
He gets in the non-lane next to me, and starts yelling.
I yell back.
We argue for a bit (Ok, I know this is not a good idea, he may have a weapon and I get that, but I was pissed).
All of my statements were profanity free and statements of fact.
He was running out of argument - so he went for my jugular:
"Don't be made because you a fat bitch. Don't be mad cuz you just fat."
My response:
"I'm mad because you are an asshole who doesn't know how to drive"
"Fatty fat bitch. Fat......"
He then rolls up his window and peals away with an extremely illegal right turn.
Um, I'm pretty sure he's patting himself on the back for "winning" that argument.
What bothers me is this:
The way strangers - either in a confrontation, or just because they feel like it - like to use the word FAT at me as an insult, a put down, something awful.
My head is not in the clouds, yes, I am fat - it's a statement of fact, much like I am blond, I am smart, I am adorable and well liked. I am fat is just a part of who I am.
I'm mad because he thought, as do many strangers, that calling me fat makes the whole thing an automatic win. They are proud that they said it.
I'm tired of it. I think what bothers the haters most of all is that I am not only fat, but fat and self-confident (90% of the time), fat and having a great time, fat and has lots of friends, fat and has an interesting fucking life. Apparently I can have none of these good things, because to them the only thing they see is F A T.
I spend a lot of time reminding the people in my life that they have Value - not only to me, but to others (so many uncountable others) and should therefore value themselves. This one stupid incident is going to make me work twice as hard to remind myself that I too have value.
So, dear readers - you may be tall, short, fat, thin, black, blue, blond, brunette, stupid, smart, shy, etc, but I value you.
Thank God my fingers aren't too damn fat for me to type with.
And I meant it.
I'm still not going to do that.
This blog is a mis-anthropic, no set topic, humor blog.
Or, the ramblings of a crazy angry me.
Anyway.
I'm just writing this post to vent, because this happened last night and it's still on my mind.
I was driving home from the train station to my house. I drive down a side street with many stop signs. One of the stop signs is a part of a four way stop, and the cross street is a major "busy" street.
I'm pretty aware at this intersection, because the cars on the busier cross street treat their stop sign as a suggestion rather than something they have to do.
Did I mention, I'm a pretty aggressive driver in general? Well, I am.....anyway.....
So, I pull to my stop sign as Car on the right is stopping and now going. SO, it's MY turn.
Second car on the right doesn't care, and he's going to go. Well, I don't give a shit, I'm already heading across the intersection, and I have the right of way, and I'm not stopping.
He inches up, I keep going, our game of chicken ends with me going (inches from his front bumper) and me, showing him the middle finger of my pretty new manicure.
He turns and follows me to the red light.
He gets in the non-lane next to me, and starts yelling.
I yell back.
We argue for a bit (Ok, I know this is not a good idea, he may have a weapon and I get that, but I was pissed).
All of my statements were profanity free and statements of fact.
He was running out of argument - so he went for my jugular:
"Don't be made because you a fat bitch. Don't be mad cuz you just fat."
My response:
"I'm mad because you are an asshole who doesn't know how to drive"
"Fatty fat bitch. Fat......"
He then rolls up his window and peals away with an extremely illegal right turn.
Um, I'm pretty sure he's patting himself on the back for "winning" that argument.
What bothers me is this:
The way strangers - either in a confrontation, or just because they feel like it - like to use the word FAT at me as an insult, a put down, something awful.
My head is not in the clouds, yes, I am fat - it's a statement of fact, much like I am blond, I am smart, I am adorable and well liked. I am fat is just a part of who I am.
I'm mad because he thought, as do many strangers, that calling me fat makes the whole thing an automatic win. They are proud that they said it.
I'm tired of it. I think what bothers the haters most of all is that I am not only fat, but fat and self-confident (90% of the time), fat and having a great time, fat and has lots of friends, fat and has an interesting fucking life. Apparently I can have none of these good things, because to them the only thing they see is F A T.
I spend a lot of time reminding the people in my life that they have Value - not only to me, but to others (so many uncountable others) and should therefore value themselves. This one stupid incident is going to make me work twice as hard to remind myself that I too have value.
So, dear readers - you may be tall, short, fat, thin, black, blue, blond, brunette, stupid, smart, shy, etc, but I value you.
Thank God my fingers aren't too damn fat for me to type with.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
VonBubbles
I woke up this morning.
The sun was breaking through some scattery purpley clouds.
My knees both hurt a little less.
I slept well, but still had weird dreams. But I slept well.
I heard three great songs on my way to the train station this morning.
I got to my job that I love, even after 4 years, 11 months and 29 days.
I had some yummy iced decaf.
My hair looks fabulous.
I'm thinking it's time to change my ways a little.
As in, I'm going to be more like her:
Monday, July 9, 2012
Not too much
I wish I had some wicked awesome stories for you from vacation, but I really don't.
It was hotter than whatever, even in Michigan, pretty much the whole time.
Wednesday we went to see Brave.
Thursday we had breakfast at Cracker Barrel.
Friday I sat in the house all day.
Saturday I sat in the house all day. Saturday night the massive heat finally broke. We were at the neighbors' house for dinner and fireworks. After that we went back to the house and had some more fireworks.
Sunday was a beautiful day. Breakfast on the deck, and a quick boat ride.
Then we came home.
That's pretty much it. Ok, not true.
There was:
I came in to work this morning and realized Wednesday is my 5th anniversary at this job. Sigh. I remember my first day like it was yesterday. I hope for 5 x 5 x 5 years more.....
It was hotter than whatever, even in Michigan, pretty much the whole time.
Wednesday we went to see Brave.
Thursday we had breakfast at Cracker Barrel.
Friday I sat in the house all day.
Saturday I sat in the house all day. Saturday night the massive heat finally broke. We were at the neighbors' house for dinner and fireworks. After that we went back to the house and had some more fireworks.
Sunday was a beautiful day. Breakfast on the deck, and a quick boat ride.
Then we came home.
That's pretty much it. Ok, not true.
There was:
- drinking
- eating
- playing games - I am very good at 7 Wonders!!
- drinking
- napping
- reading
- drinking
- sleeping late
- laughing
- and oh, did I mention drinking?
I came in to work this morning and realized Wednesday is my 5th anniversary at this job. Sigh. I remember my first day like it was yesterday. I hope for 5 x 5 x 5 years more.....
Monday, July 2, 2012
Happy happy
Wow.
Time sure got away from me, sorry for the delay.
And that's enough of that........
BUT:
If anyone wants to make me a tshirt that says: Full of Misery (on the front) and Obviously Extreme Jealousy (on the back) in a very cool way, I'd be forever grateful and will wear it just about every day, since every one who knows and actually loves me knows what a complete bunch of b.s. those two statements are.
ANYWAY
So, I had another fantastic and amazing weekend. I'm still pretty happy just because of it.
Friday night I went to see Tesla and the Scorpions at Northerly Island. I'd never been there, and it did not disappoint as far as venues go. The sound was great, it doesn't hold that many, so even our "cheap seats" were good. I went w K, we go to a lot of concerts together. Telsa was awesome, they played all of the good stuff, closing with Little Susie, which is K's favorite song. The Scorpions were really amazing, considering their kinda advanced years. The weather was starting to get a little scary, the wind picked up, it got chilly, and then the lightning started.......but the actual rain held off until after the last chord of "Rock you like a Hurricane". Like Mother Nature was giving mad props to the Scorps, and let them finish. My aching knees only got us so far, and I ordered up an Uber car for us. It took less than ten minutes to arrive, and we got home super quick in air conditioned lincoln town car luxury.
Saturday was breakfast with VonMom. Which, you know I have grown to enjoy. VonSis came along this time, and somehow that made VonMom a little weird and kinda cranky. No matter.
Saturday evening I hopped on the ole Metra train and headed out to visit with Brando and TLB. Well, kinda forgot that that is the train that goes to Ravinia. Saturday night was Sarah McLaughlin, and the train was PACKED with granola lesbians. Not the best of times, but well worth the misery to hang out with two of my favorite people. I attempted to bribe Libby into friendship with coloring books - not sure if it worked. Brought along some cherry and raspberry lambics to bribe Brando and TLB and those did work. We had a lovely time with some fantastic food. The train home was less crunchy, and I was grateful for that.
Sunday VonMom and I had lunch with my God-mother. I dig her the most. She's awesome, and had been one of VonDad's best friends since they were kids. She thinks I'm cool. She loves all of my stories. We went to Baker's Square (forgive me, not MY choice) where I ran in to two different people that I take the train with every day. Kinda funny, didn't know Baker's Square was the big Metra Meet up locale.
Now, I have to work a grand total of 1 1/2 days, and then the tricycle of awesome rides for Michigan. Ahhhh, my annual rest and recuperation week. We won't be back until sometime on Sunday. So, you won't be hearing from me. There is no internet where we are going, and I'm ok with that.
So, have a wonderful holiday, kiss your babies, appreciate your friends, and I'll be back next week.
Time sure got away from me, sorry for the delay.
And that's enough of that........
BUT:
If anyone wants to make me a tshirt that says: Full of Misery (on the front) and Obviously Extreme Jealousy (on the back) in a very cool way, I'd be forever grateful and will wear it just about every day, since every one who knows and actually loves me knows what a complete bunch of b.s. those two statements are.
ANYWAY
So, I had another fantastic and amazing weekend. I'm still pretty happy just because of it.
Friday night I went to see Tesla and the Scorpions at Northerly Island. I'd never been there, and it did not disappoint as far as venues go. The sound was great, it doesn't hold that many, so even our "cheap seats" were good. I went w K, we go to a lot of concerts together. Telsa was awesome, they played all of the good stuff, closing with Little Susie, which is K's favorite song. The Scorpions were really amazing, considering their kinda advanced years. The weather was starting to get a little scary, the wind picked up, it got chilly, and then the lightning started.......but the actual rain held off until after the last chord of "Rock you like a Hurricane". Like Mother Nature was giving mad props to the Scorps, and let them finish. My aching knees only got us so far, and I ordered up an Uber car for us. It took less than ten minutes to arrive, and we got home super quick in air conditioned lincoln town car luxury.
Saturday was breakfast with VonMom. Which, you know I have grown to enjoy. VonSis came along this time, and somehow that made VonMom a little weird and kinda cranky. No matter.
Saturday evening I hopped on the ole Metra train and headed out to visit with Brando and TLB. Well, kinda forgot that that is the train that goes to Ravinia. Saturday night was Sarah McLaughlin, and the train was PACKED with granola lesbians. Not the best of times, but well worth the misery to hang out with two of my favorite people. I attempted to bribe Libby into friendship with coloring books - not sure if it worked. Brought along some cherry and raspberry lambics to bribe Brando and TLB and those did work. We had a lovely time with some fantastic food. The train home was less crunchy, and I was grateful for that.
Sunday VonMom and I had lunch with my God-mother. I dig her the most. She's awesome, and had been one of VonDad's best friends since they were kids. She thinks I'm cool. She loves all of my stories. We went to Baker's Square (forgive me, not MY choice) where I ran in to two different people that I take the train with every day. Kinda funny, didn't know Baker's Square was the big Metra Meet up locale.
Now, I have to work a grand total of 1 1/2 days, and then the tricycle of awesome rides for Michigan. Ahhhh, my annual rest and recuperation week. We won't be back until sometime on Sunday. So, you won't be hearing from me. There is no internet where we are going, and I'm ok with that.
So, have a wonderful holiday, kiss your babies, appreciate your friends, and I'll be back next week.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
The return of the transparency project
I've been getting more and more of a short fuse lately about all of the:
So, instead of ruining "friendships" and having people drop me in their rage, I'm fighting back with the Return of the Transparency Project.
It's really boring as fuck all*
So, each day I will be posting the most mundane details I can think of at 6:45 am.
Here's part of it:
I am wearing pants and an orange shirt. My eyes itch. My mood is fair to middlin' (yesterday)
Today I let teh FB know that I had a dream about zombies; that I am wearing a black dress to kinda hide the fact that my nail polish is black this week; and that my headband has a big metal flower on it.
Is this going to drive people crazy? God, I hope so.
Is this going to make people be a little more aware of the piles of crap that they themselves are posting? GOD I HOPE SO.
* = "fuck all" is my new favorite swear term. I'm still working out the kinks, but I'm totally going to make it a thing
- Intentionally cryptic
- Intentionally vague (Vaguebooking)
- First world problems whines
- Passive/aggressive to the nth degree
- Self obssessed small minded
So, instead of ruining "friendships" and having people drop me in their rage, I'm fighting back with the Return of the Transparency Project.
It's really boring as fuck all*
So, each day I will be posting the most mundane details I can think of at 6:45 am.
Here's part of it:
I am wearing pants and an orange shirt. My eyes itch. My mood is fair to middlin' (yesterday)
Today I let teh FB know that I had a dream about zombies; that I am wearing a black dress to kinda hide the fact that my nail polish is black this week; and that my headband has a big metal flower on it.
Is this going to drive people crazy? God, I hope so.
Is this going to make people be a little more aware of the piles of crap that they themselves are posting? GOD I HOPE SO.
* = "fuck all" is my new favorite swear term. I'm still working out the kinks, but I'm totally going to make it a thing
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