Yes, Michigan

Man, I sure would love to tell you all about happy Michigan fun times.
But I'm pretty sure that a detailed recapping is not allowed.
It's a what happens in Michigan stays in Michigan, even when it happens in Indiana kind of thing.
But maybe I can share some highlights without getting removed from the tricycle of awesome.
Let's see:

• The sunrise sampler is truly the best value at Cracker Barrel, so why get anything else?
• The staff at the Steak n' Shake in Elkhart Indiana are not only super-de-duper nice, but also they are all cute as buttons. The kind of people I have to make faces at, just because.
• Seeing a movie when it's just you and your friends is really awesome. Even if the movie was XMen First Class and you wanted to see Transformers 3 but whatever.
• Freedom drinks are delicious.  When you drink them out of a straw, you get knocked on your ass by the very first one, in about 30 seconds.
• Shannon's freedom drink is stronger than anyone else's freedom drink.
• TheMarty prefers that his freedom drink be made with "the good stuff", and not the juice that tastes "like ass".
• When freedom drink is laughed into my lungs, it's not awesome. Nor tasty.
• Shannon's college bound cousin Clare is now the streamers on the tricycle. Because really, what good is tricycle with no streamers?
• Hodor makes a sub-par rescue word. When spoken it only gets a chuckle in response, and no actual rescuing.
• The game Ticket to Ride is super awesome, especially when I win.
• So is Uno, but only when I win.
• Spicy farcle is not, because I never win.
• When the weather man says 30% chance of rain two days in a row, he really means 0% one day and 100% the other. Good luck figuring out which.
• Awesome Chicago storms only happen when I am not in Chicago, apparently.
• Someone I know is nowhere cool enough to be asexual. This is a fact.
• Creepy old men are everywhere. EVERYWHERE
• When playing catch phrase, and the clue is "Von needs one of these......" the answer is NOT "breast implant"

I don't think I can give you anymore than that. 

Thanks for nothing, John Hughes and Winnie Holzman

I've been reading this book. It's a collection of essays inspired by John Hughes films.  I've also been watching My So-Called Life reruns on Sundance.
And I had a revelation.
No wonder I'm fucking single.

John Hughes and Winnie Holzman ruined romance for me at a very young age.  And continue to ruin me.  If I'm flipping through the channels and I come across any John Hughes film (ok, except The Great Outdoors, I don't like that one) I stop and watch and sigh and cry.

And, oh my, My So-Called Life - how much was I like Angela Chase? I think I still AM like Angela Chase.  I do have trouble wrapping my head around Jordan Catalano being the same dude who now has a pink mo-hawk and fronts one of my favorite bands, but whatever. 

I just wanted the MSCL episode where Angela and Ricky go to Jordan's band practice and she thinks the song he is singing he wrote for her.  Double sigh.  I can't tell you how many band practices I went to, just to be in the same building as the boy I liked, and hoped and prayed that the special meaning I inferred from the lyrics were true.  Thankfully, I don't do that anymore.  Yes, I still know a few bands, and I'm sure they do practice somewhere, but I think it would be pretty pathetic of me to hang out there and flip my hair and sigh.  But still - that episode had my stomach turning - in nostalgia and bittersweet ness.

One of the essays I read recently was about Some Kind of Wonderful - which happens to be my favorite John Hughes movie.  I was Watts. In a lot of ways, I AM Watts.  Ok, not thin, and I would never wear my hair that short, but in many other ways.  The essay was all about the high school and college love triangles, or as the song says "You love her, but she loves him, and he loves somebody else, you just can't win".  The essay was pretty black and white - the writer wondering if she had paid attention to the ones that loved her if her life would have been different.  Oh, fuck, this could not have hit closer to home.    And I do wonder, often enough, what could have been if I had been paying better attention back then.

I now realize that my Blane, Keith, Jake Ryan, Jordan Catalano, even my Duckie will never ever exist.  There is no guy who will buy me a cake and pick me up in his Porsche on my birthday.  No one will ever tell me he loves me, always to the aching tune of "If you Leave", no one to, while dyslexic, write a song about his car that I will instead pretend is about me.  And no one to ride his bike past my house on a daily basis.  And for all of these delusions of romance, I still have to blame John and Winnie. 

I need to give it all up.  Ok, maybe not the dream of playing the drums like Watts in the opening credits of SKOW, because that's still pretty awesome, but the rest of it.

It may be time to let a real man, faults and all love me for me, and not the me I think is Angela Chase, or Amanda Jones, or Andi, or even Watts.

Vegas, Baby

It's been another whirlwind in this life of mine.
Last week I was in Vegas for my work's annual meeting.  Much like the losers at the Oscars, my position is the same - I'm just happy to be invited.  It is not common at all in the big huge company I work for that coordinators ever get to go to these things.  I have been to every one since I've been here.
This was the first time since I've started that it hasn't been in New York.  It was a crazy, busy, active, exciting, delightful few days.
Here's some of the highlights:

• Saw my first ever Cirque Du Soleil show - we saw Mystere the first night we were there. Lovely. Weird, but lovely.
• Watched all of my team ride the Big Shot - at the top of the Stratosphere hotel. Too cool.
• Had dinner and drinks at the Foundation Room at the House of Blues compliments of Dan Akroyd. Yep, you read that right - Dan Akroyd. Now, go out and get you some Crystal Head vodka, because it's delicious.
• Had cocktails in the Minus 5 ice bar.
• I drank $120 worth of tequila, but because I am me, and turned on the charm, I got them all for free. Now go out and try you some Don Julio 1842 and Sauza Three Generations. Expensive? Yes, but trust me.
• 113 is truly survivable because it's a 'dry heat'.
• and last but not least I RODE IN A HELICOPTER INTO THE GRAND CANYON. We landed IN the Grand Canyon and had drinks and walked around.
• See above - I rode in a fucking helicopter.

And oh yeah, there was a lot of work stuff going on too....

Today I'm taking care of a sunburn, due to the fact that I rode a float in Chicago's Pride parade yesterday. Another once in a lifetime experience! DANK Haus had a float, and I went along for the ride. Sure, I saw a lot of things in the crowd I wish I had never seen, but wow, what a crazy time.*

So, I live, the ankle continues its slow recovery, and it's back to business as usual.
Kinda.
I'm off to MI with Shannon and TheMarty for the annual rest/recovery/Freedom drinks/4th of July trip.  We leave Wednesday afternoon. Not a moment too soon. We'll be back on the 4th.  So, you may not hear from me until after that, but I'll try.

Stay classy.

*Me? Nope, not a lesbian, I'm straight as they come, but I do support the rights of everyone. And Pride parade is a wonderful celebration of all things awesome, unique and diverse.  I was proud to be there. Like one sign I saw said "Gay for a Day" sure, I'd say that was it.

Full moon crazy

This full moon has got me full on crazy.

Last night, I was just mopey and bummed out for no reason. Then I called Shannon, and we laughed and laughed and laughed.  Then I went to bed mopey and bummed.

Today? I'm all giddy and singing and chair dancing*. And happy, and having a good ole time.

Full moons and Scorpios get along about as well as I do with 2011.

The fight with real shoes continues.  Out of seven pairs of real shoes (aka work/dress shoes) only one has fit on my bad foot so far.  And as of Monday I'll be needing to wear real shoes for the week at our annual sales meeting.  Huh, not going so well.



*Jennifer - chair dancing is NOT lap dancing, it's dancing while seated at the desk, in the chair.

Back to decent

Thought you'd all like to know I am at work today sans crutch. Just me and an ace bandage.
And clothes, of course. *

I decided that this past weekend would be the return to my normal way of life, aka Busy.

Friday night, though wicked cold and foggy/drizzly, I went to see the Judds with my sister and nephew.  About two hours before they were picking me up, I found out that we would be meeting them.  mini Squee. I mean, whether you like country music or not, these ladies are Legends. Yes, capital L Legends.  So we line up back stage pre-show, get our talking to - No autographs, only one picture by their photographer, no purses, crutches, etc.....  I got it. I paid attention. Don't want to get tossed pre-photo op.  In walks Naomi and Wynonna.  I actually giggle and clap my hands together. Again - Legends.  Sister, nephew and I opt for a picture with all three of us in it. Minimal chatting, and I go to leave.  I grab my crutch from who I'm pretty sure was Wynonna's daughter, and start to hobble out. I feel someone touching my sleeve. I turn around - it's Naomi "Thanks for coming Sugar!" she says and beams at me. I mumble thanks and get out of there.  We had really awesome seats for the show. Wynonna sang two Elvis songs and one Foreigner song.   I had forgotten what fantastic entertainers they both are.  A good time, overall.

Saturday my ass was up at the crack of dawn for VonParents' neighborhood garage sale.  It's a big deal - the whole neighborhood gets involved. It's crazy.  I made it for about one hour when my ankle said 'F you, lady, that's enough!' and I hobbled back to VonParents' house to relax.  Ran some errands, then worked the Booker T show at Old Town. Which was awesome.  Really awesome.

Sunday I ran many many errands for many hours.  Sunday night is my t.v. night, with both Game of Thrones and The Killing on.  I made a pizza and rested up.

So, a great weekend with my back in the swing of things (for the most part - I do still hobble) and a lot of great great music.


*Dirty birds, I know you went there

New (to me) music Friday

So, this guy sang the national anthem at the White Sox game I went to recently.
And he Blew.My.Mind.
So I went on the ole iTunes and bought an ever-lovin' shit ton of his music.
Because, you see...
He Blows.My.Mind.

If you've already heard of him, that's awesome, and you are way cooler than me.
If not, get thee to the iTunes and buy massive quantities of his songs. You will not be disappointed.

And I have to say - this song? It's just SEXY

And yes, I did break a sweat posting that video.
Happy Friday, bitches.

People I want to beat with my crutch

A mish mash of sorts, just to clear my head.

So, my intern started this week.  A nice girl, a very quiet girl. A girl who over-stated (by a city mile, people) her computer skillz/knowledge.  It's going to be a looooong 10 weeks.
People, please, tell your children - they aren't doing anyone any good by lying on their resume.  I'm going to have to develop the patience of a saint. Today, I just want to beat her with my crutch.

It's 96 here in Chicago. I will not complain about this.  I hate snow, and ice, and winter and blizzards.  I can tolerate 80 at 7am. I work in a/c. I live in a/c. I have cold water, and movie theaters, and frozen fruit. I also have cold beer. Cold New Glarus beer.  The people that are complaining about the heat? I want to beat them with my crutch.  Seriously - if you hate the weather here all the time? Then get the fuck out. We don't want your kind anyway.

The people that do not let me sit on a bench, on the train, or on the bus? I want to beat them with my crutch.

The guy who is causing me stress regarding home improvement 2011 I want to beat with my crutch. This story is still developing -stay tuned.

The "wildings" or "flash mobs" who are attacking people in the neighborhood that I work in.  A) Not cool beating people up for the fuck of it B) Not cool tarnishing the term "flash mob".  I still want to do a flash mob - a fun one, involving dancing or singing or some such thing - and now that'll be all messed up thanks to them.  I want to beat them with my crutch, soundly, for every person they've beat up in recent days/weeks.

The stars of Hangover II I want to beat with my crutch, and I haven't even seen it.  I have no desire to see it. Over Kill.

The makers of Plants vs Zombies I want to beat with my crutch. And the zombies  in the game that I cannot defeat in level 5-3. Love to hate you, PvsZ.

Aaaand scene.
I feel better now.