I'm really good at one thing

minds out of the gutter, geesh I'm really good at filling up my time. Or, not "pissing my life away", as VonDad likes to put it. So Originally, this weekend was supposed to be spent in Elkhorn WI, putting up tents at one of my favorite places on Earth, Juniper Knoll Girl Scout camp. I could cry that I'm not going, but the one person Laura and I knew who was going backed out, so we did too. Funny, two weeks ago I was all 'Sigh, I might actually miss R while I'm in WI for the weekend.' Well, we all know how that turned out. So instead, I've managed to overfill my weekend to the point of burstin'. Last night, went to see "Breakfast Club, the Musical" at Studio Be. Had a lovely time with some awesome people. Plus, I'm kinda friends with one of the girls in the chorus, so I did her a solid by going, so upside. Tonight I'm having dinner and drinks with TheMarty. No Shannon. Just us, two/thirds of the tricycle of awesome. Haven't seen him since Christmas I think, so it'll be good. Tomorrow. I'm tired just thinking about tomorrow Tomorrow I have guitar at 11. TheMarty is picking me up from class to go directly to Pilsen (do not pass go, do not collect $200) for wedding arts and crafts fun with Shannon and some other random people. TheMarty will then take me back to my car, at which point I will hurry home and doll myself up for super awesome evening with Laura. We're going to Pepe's for dinner (by choice! We do it by choice man!), followed by tickets to Muvico (super fancy movie theater) where we have $20/piece premiere tickets to "Clash of the Titans" in 3D. Premeire means cushy over sized love seats instead of chairs, free popcorn, and NO ONE UNDER THE AGE OF 21. And oh, yeah, they serve you cocktails at your seats. After that there may be some drinking (if I'm still awake) Sunday There's a bbq at VonSis's inlaws. I may go as there may be food there, and there is likely to be no food in my own house. At this point, looking ahead to my awesomely busy, yet still awesome weekend, I have just one thing to say: R who?

Perry Farrell is lame

There, I said it. Count me among the millions that were excited, nah, ELATED when a few years ago PF announced for all the world that Lollapalooza was being reborn! And only in Chicago! And it's going to be three days! And it's awesome!! I was downright gleeful. Me, who had been to the first 7 of the original Lollas. The ones that toured the country and were all in one day. Sure, you got heat stroke, and 3rd degree sunburns, but you were there! From 9am until 1am! It was exciting to be introduced to new bands, like Smashing Pumpkins 'huh, I like this song, they are likely to take off'. A sampling of bands that I saw, back in the day: 91.. Nine Inch Nails, Souxsie and the Banshees (I LOVED them!), Rollins Band, Violent Femmes 92.Ministry, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam, Rage Against the Machine 93. Primus, Tool (little known!! on to awesome!) Front 242 (I LOVED them!), Dinosaur Jr. 94.** Favorite year ever!! ** Beastie Boys, Smashing Pumpkins, George Clinton & P Funk Allstars, The Flaming Lips 95. The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Cypress Hill, Hole, Pavement! 96. Metallica, Ramones, Soundgarden (again!), Rancid 97. Snoop Doggy Dog, Beck, Old 97s, Prodigy. Funny, I have the shittiest memory EVER, but I remember every single Lolla I went to. And how much fun they were. And what a kick ass vibe. And, man, I want to be that age again!! Yes, I went to EVERY original Lolla. So, I feel I AM MORE THAN QUALIFIED to tell you this This year's Lolla? Train wreck Travesty Evil incarnate Just plain fucking wrong A sampling of 2010 Lollapalooza's "artists": Lady Gaga Green Day Metric The Big Pink Javelin Minus the Bear Skybox Oh, are you even still reading this crap? Who the f*cK are these people??? And why, why, why if they played shitty assed Pitchfork (stab me!!) are they playing Lollapafukcinglooza this year!?!?!? There's something like 12 bands that have that distinction. True, I am wholly ANTI-HIPSTERS. But, I am PRO good awesome kick ass music. The hipsters can and do have their festival. It's called Pitchfork. And you wouldn't catch me anywhere near there. Ever. Not even for a million dollars. Lollapalooza is for a different crowd. A much harder, edgier, better, cooler crowd. One cannot blend the two. We will eat the hipsters for breakfast. I could not be more disappointed!! Thank GOD I didn't buy the stupid advance ticket!! Perry Farrell is lame. He's soft, and he's getting o l d. I'm so NOT getting old!! If there was anyone, ANYONE worth seeing at Lolla this year, you bet your ass I'd be there, right up front, moshing my happy little self away. But there isn't. So I won't. Damn you Perry Farrell. Damn you.

Something smells funny

Ham French toast casserole (usually, this is all I eat, because I don't like ham, but this year SIL1X put pecans on it) (SIL1X no longer loves me, and wants me to suffer with no casserole) Salad Coleslaw Bread (brought by me, of course.) 1 gigantic loaf of landbrot, some crescent rolls, and some flaky layer biscuits AND THEN: Asparagus with garlic and lime Asparagus with cream cheese and blue cheese wrapped in bread Asparagus with balsamic somethingorother Asparagus with horseradish cream sauce Asparagus quesadillas Asparagus something else I can't remember You'd really like me to be kidding. I'm not VonSis REALLY likes asparagus. She went to the produce store at 7am, so as not to endure the funny looks and head turns as she added a crate of asparagi to her cart - and nothing else -

In other news....

R just dumped me. Step one: Change teh FB relationship status back to single Step two: Unfriend R, TheBrother, TheFiance Step three: Come over to my blog to let my people know

Busy elswhere

SO In taking the week off, I thought I'd be in teh blogosphere less. Not so much. I've been here. And also here. In case anyone is following this drama, I am no longer spam over at 3Bulls. Hence and therefore, I no longer dislike them. Happy Easter. Go Jesus!

A break

This full moon is kicking my ass. Hard. My mind is all aswirl, as are my fragile little emotions. What was I doing when I noticed that it was raining in my living room last night? (long story, for another day) Answer: I was laying on my couch, listening to my iPod and sighing. This is not the person who should be writing posts for you. I'm taking this week off. Be good to yourselves.

How you know.

Do you want to know how you know you are in the presence of the One That Got Away? I can tell you. You see him and your heart skips not one beat but two. It's cold out, but your face is flaming hot. You are sure you are purple. You can feel your eyes light up. You toss your hair. Stop. Pull it back over your shoulder. Did he like your hair longer or shorter? Can't remember. Get frustrated. Contemplate pulling said hair up into a ponytail. Stupid hair. He sees you. Your heart skips beats again, and this time, your stomach drops. You forget where you are, why you are there, and who you are with. He hugs you. You want to keep hugging him. The urge to kiss him is gigantic, enormous. It's so big, you are sure everyone around you knows that you want to kiss him. Words from 16 years ago blast through your mind "Moment of truth, huh babe?" You are sure everyone around you heard this, even though it's only in your silly little mind. When he stops hugging you, you feel yourself leaning in his general direction. Every moment he's around you, you want to touch him. Hold his hand, put your arm around him. This feels like the most natural thing in the world, even though he hasn't been "yours" for 13 years. You want to whisper in his ear, or scream at the top of your lungs "I still love you!". This urge is gigantic, enormous. You think you'll die if you don't say it. You don't say it. Every ounce of your famous self-esteem is gone, vanished, like it had never existed. You can't even bring yourself to give him your phone# or email address. You act like a child and give your info to his sister instead. You kick yourself for this. Repeatedly. When it's time to go, you are physically ill at the thought of leaving. Leaving him. He'll forget me. He'll forget I was here. You have an overwhelming desire to be alone. You want your apartment, something strong to drink, and your bed. For a very very long time. You get home, and immediately get in a hot shower so you can cry in peace. You feel silly for crying but God damn it you love him and you miss him and holy shit. You go to bed insanely early, to avoid drinking alone. You can't sleep. Not a little, not at all. For days after, you have this incredible sadness weighing you down. You know that you could cry at the drop of a hat, and would, but God damn it you're not going to! There's work to be done! Things to do! You know understand, with stunning clarity, that the reason you are the way you are in relationships is because you know that he was the one. And he got away.