Thursday, September 30, 2010


I need a name for my new snow white Persian cat......

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

What happens...

in Vegas stays in Vegas. Well, kittens, unless I'm there. Sooooo Today's tale is one about the wedding. But first, a little back story. The bride - Toni - is one of my favorite friends. Sure, I was John's friend first, but Toni will tell you that she has stolen me, and I now belong to her. So, Toni is pretty bad ass. Like WAY more bad ass than I am even! I'm pretty sure she could kick my ass, that kind of bad ass. Even though I'm about four inches taller than her. She's Chicago South Side Italian, if you know what I mean. I adore her. Ok. Enough back story. SO, the wedding. John and Toni, in all their popularity, had to change the venue for the wedding THE DAY OF THE WEDDING. They found out that their first location would only hold 20 people, no exceptions. Um, well, this doesn't work for the more than 20 people that showed up to see them happily wed. It took a while, but a new location, an accommodating location, was found. A flurry of texts and phone calls ensued. I was amused as I played my penny slots. Oh, boy. Here we go. I even had to call the usually very calm, cool, level-headed John back at one point. "What's up?" "We didn't hear back from you!" "Ok, well I got all of the place....blah blah blah...didn't realize I had to call back." "Well, ok. I can't keep up with who knows about the change and who doesn't." "It's fine. Do you need me to call people? Do you need anything else?" "No. Sorry. It's been a stressful day." Get to the new venue nice and early. It's hot. There's misters along the wall. Laura and I sit by the misters. I, like a queen, sit and wait for people to approach me. As it should be. Crowds and crowds of people, all over this little parkway. Some trashy, some not. Our group? Not trashy. The bride wore a lovely floral summer dress. The groom looked awesome. There was a hat, perhaps a fedora. Our turn! I go to enter the chapel. I stop. Huh - where to sit? John looks up, says "Well, Von, I think you're just going to have to stand in the middle!!" I opt for John's side. yada yada yada get to the vows. Time for John's vows and ring. The preacher laughs as Toni puts a blinking plastic ring on John's finger. "Okay....." he says. The blinking plastic rings were my idea. Bride and groom are getting tattoos instead of rings. Not ring tattoos, ala Pam and Tommy, but some kind of symbol that means something to only them. I think it's cool, and bad ass. John says "I DO!" really loudly and really happily. Toni's turn. On goes the blinking plastic ring. Preacher reads some vows, do you Toni blah blah blah..... and she nods Um, what?!?!? Is my bad ass friend going to cry?!?!? Preacher stands there - prods her for a verbal answer. "I do!" all squeaky, because she's crying. That's it - I lose it. Like lose it. I'm a blubbering romantic in general, but at the one wedding where I expect it to be no tears good time, I was blind-sided. I was, and am genuinely happy for these two.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Guess who's sick?

Yep, and I'm thinking it's more of a flu than a cold. But I'm being stubborn, and turning my achy shoulder on it. go.away.illness. Germy Germans. I'm blaming Oktoberfest for this new development. And yesterday I thought I just had a hangover. Huh. Shows what I know. Damn it. I'll post when my head is more clear. Right now, I'm just praying for this day to be over so I can go home and climb into bed. pass me a tissue.

Friday, September 24, 2010

...because a peanut is a legume.....

So, I'm pretty sure someone was trying to kill me earlier this week while I was in New York for work. That, or someone didn't take Meeting Planning 101. Ya see, I have food allergies. One of the cool ones. The conversations usually go like this. "Oh, I can't. It has nuts in it.:" "?" "There, right there, cashews." "Oh, so you've never had peanut butter!?!?!" "Um, I eat peanuts and peanut butter all the time. I have a tree nut allergy." "?" "Peanuts are not a nut. They are a legume. All other nuts are tree nuts. I'm allergic to tree nuts." And then......I become the food allergy dork. Apparently, I've never had the tree-nut-talk with either of our meeting's planners. Here's the menus: Mon breakfast: yogurt berries GRANOLA WITH NUTS Mon lunch: sandwiches fruit SALAD WITH WALNUTS Mon snack: wasabi peas and a GIGANTIC BOWL OF MIXED NUTS Mon dinner: pasta with butternut squash and PINE NUTS Tues breakfast: eggs bacon yogurt GRANOLA WITH NUTS Tues lunch: sandwiches SALAD WITH PECANS Tues snack: granola bars made in a factory with TREE NUTS Tues nuts. I got lazy. I got comfortable. Dessert came. Ah! Creme brule.....I stuck my fork in, took a big bite....FUCKING ALMONDS! WHO PUTS ALMONDS IN CREME BRULE!?!?!? Now, my evening is ruined. I choke down a benedryl. Fuck. I've had some wine, so would rather not go the benedryl route, but I can feel itching and swelling starting. I drink a gallon of water. By the time we got back to the hotel to regroup to head out to a bar, I was growing a lovely collection of hives. Awesome. A shower and more benedryl for me, no going out for drinks with my co-workers. Meeting planning 101 - a quick email to all attendees to determine food allergies and dietary restrictions. I told them next time I'd like to plan the menu.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

I'm baaaack

And super wicked mad busy. So, no recaps today Although I may or may not have had a CNN New York tour, which may or may not have included me trying out Larry King's set. And stalling in a hallway to catch a glimpse of Anderson Cooper (didn't see him, alas) I'm planning a few posts of the Vegas and New York variety. Patience mah precious.......

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Friday, September 17, 2010

A reminder

While our gracious hostess may be out of town, it should be noted that she has no need for automated Awesomeness Reminders.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Fridge Note

Dear You, I'm heading out of town for, like ever. Ok, not really. Friday Laura and I are heading to Vegas for John and Toni's wedding. On Sunday Laura will be flying home, but I'll be flying to New York for work. I won't be back home until late on Wednesday. This means - miss me, because you know you will. AND I've handed over the keys to the train wreck that is VFN to some folks you all already know. I'll see you on the flip side, if I don't win my millions in Vegas.


I know this post isn't going to make me any friends, but here goes. I'm really annoyed, no pissed at the local cyclists. First, recently during yet another Critical Mass ride, I saw the riders ignoring two police cars that were trying to get through an intersection. Real smart guys - they had their lights and sirens on, meaning they had somewhere to get to. Then on Monday, as I step out to cross the street, in the crosswalk, where the little walker guy was lit up, meaning I HAD THE RIGHT OF WAY, I very very very nearly got hit by a bike messenger. Asshole. And what did he do? Gave ME the finger and called me a name. Let me repeat, I had the right of way. Followed by the two utter assholes on Lawrence last night that insisted on riding side by hipster side, chatting, weaving in and out of my lane. Um, fuck off. This is rush hour traffic, and you don't seem to be paying any attention, so why should I?!? Fuck it. I'm over it. If the cyclists in Chicago want to be disinterested, and not follow any simple rules of the road, so be it. I can be disinterested too - in my big car, made of metal.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Football and Karma

Another thing I do not usually write about is sports. But, shit, after what happened today, I just have to write about this. Sooo, Chicago got a gosh darn golden ticket handed to you today! Wow. Thank your lucky stars, and your referees! Detroit Lions, man, you were ROBBED. That last play was totally, 100%, a touch down! You won! But, you didn't. VonMom happened to be upstairs watching the second half of the game. Her response to that play? "Well, Von, you're right, that was a touch down, but I do not care because the Bears won! My boys won!" "Bad karma, VonMom, bad karma." However, The only reason it's ok is because of the totally missed call during the first half. The refs totally missed the face mask pull by a Detroit Lion. That's my opinion. I am again, just spitting out some words. But I will say, as a woman, that I'm really really happy with the new rule about not touching anyone above the shoulders. Makes it a personal foul or something. That's cool. That's a good rule. Let's just see if the Bears can do good things on their own going forward, without the help of messed up reps. Ok, rant over. *Ok, so on the news they explained that the receiver did not complete "the process" therefore no TD. Um, ok. To my eyes, and thousands of others, it was a TD*

Friday, September 10, 2010

Happy Friday, my merry minions, Happy Friday

**and thanks Jennifer for teaching me AGAIN how to post a video** :)

Thursday, September 9, 2010

A slightly political rant

There are reasons why I do not talk politics. Not here, not in conversation, not on teh fb. I think people that use teh fb, specifically, to platform are kinda lame. I know, go write a blog. In my opinion, it's really not for the political soap boxing. *ahem* The other day, I had written how I was going to meet Mayor Daley. Then I wrote how cool it was to get to meet him the day he announced he's not running again. Pretty cool. No, not even - pretty monumental. Some people - without even knowing where I stand politically, or more importantly, my thoughts on the mayor - wrote stupid comments on my post. I need to point out here that many of the people who wrote or told me their opinions are NOT EVEN FROM CHICAGO. This means they do not know what the city was like more than 21 years ago. Well guess what - I do. I remember downtown as a place you didn't want to be caught dead in after 5:00, and never on weekends. I remember there was nothing green about this city - literally or ecologically. Sure, say what you want. But don't say it in/on my space. I'm a pretty smart cookie, and mostly fair in healthy debate. I can also admit that Mayor Daley is HUMAN and therefore has made mistakes - outsourced parking meters? Meigs Field? anyone? Bueller? BUT Again, I don't talk politics. People should really know that about me by now, and from this point on, God help the person who decides my space (blog/teh fb) is a good place to unleash. That being said, anyone who wants to meet for some beer and discuss/debate, I'm all in. But you better bring more than yesterday's headlines to back up your bull shit.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Continuing to NOT piss my life away

So, yes, I DID get up at 4:15am on Labor Day. Why you ask? Because the MDA needed me to answer phones for the Jerry Lewis telethon. So.I.did. Sil1x and I arrived at the hotel where the doings were going on about 5ish, I think. I was a vision, let me tell you - putting on makeup in the dark car on the highway. Awe.some. Sil1x and I got separated when we went in to the phones/studio thing. I thought I was making a smart move by putting myself in the back. Not.So.Much. During one segment I ended up on t.v. A LOT. Sigh - I do not want to know what a lot is. Oh, and did I mention that I had/have a wicked allergy/cold thing going on? That was going on during the telethon - like I said - a VISION. THEN They had this segment that involved Lourdes Duarte (local news lady extraordinaire) popping balloons - Double awesome. Because, you know, I didn't have enough camera time already. Finally, we were asked to clear out to make room for a big batch of Lowe's employees. I leaped out of my seat and rejoined Sil1x. I had answered a total of three phone calls. I guess people don't give money to Jerry Lewis in the ass crack of the morning hours. Hung out to say good bye to Sil1x's bestie, who was running the thing - way to go SheaDog!! Sil1x and I ended up having awesome breakfast at Le Peep and picking up Starbucks and were home by 10am. I fought off sleep, but sleep won about 11am. Slept until 2ish. Went to bed early and was wide awake at 4am. It was worth it. A) SheaDog needed the help, and I dig her the most, so of course and B.) you know me, I'm the super volunteer and C.) good deed done for like, at least a month.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Weird verbal hangups of mine

Here are a couple of verbal hangups you likely do not know about me:
  • I cannot properly pronounce these words: bull, bowl, pull, pole. It hurts my throat to say them.
  • I always mis-say this word: vigilant. I ALWAYS say: viligant
  • Over the past few years, I've lost the ability to say neighborhood like a normal person. I now say "neighbaaaahood"
  • I've never been able to say the band name Fall Out Boy properly. It always comes out Faaaaaal Out Boy. This is unintentional, but it cannot be stopped.
  • I've recently begun calling people I like "Pumpkin" both in person and in emails.
  • I really like calling people "Pumpkin"
  • When I casually speak German, my pronunciations are flawless. When called upon in class to read, I get so nervous it sometimes sounds like I'm in day eins of Deutsch eins.