Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Looking for l o v e

Wow. Time really does fly, especially in the summer time.

I'm back to having some troubles sleeping.  I don't know why really.  I think it is affecting my ability to put finger to keyboard and write something for you.

Let's see - what's new.

I may or may not have misbehaved quite a bit last weekend.  Oh, I may have.  But, you know some things should just be left alone.


I'm kind of on the market.  I guess.  As in, actively seeking a man.  Like a long term husbandy kind of man.  Sure, I may be crazy, but like I said, I'm not sleeping.


I rejoined this website I was on a few years ago.  Things are going......okish.  I've got one first meeting tonight, and I was excited about it.  But then I did some google stalking (as all smart women should do before a first meeting), and I have a suspicion that he might be married.  His profile says he's divorced.  I've asked Shannon to also stalk, and see if she comes up with the same conclusion.  Anyway - now the conundrum is not what do I wear, but how do I figure out if he is still married, without giving my stalking away?  Stay tuned.

I was supposed to have another first meeting tomorrow night.  I found myself having to talk myself in to going on that one, so I thought about it and decided to cancel.  Wanting to keep on the right side of karma, I sent as lovely and nice an email as I could.  I pretty much said that I was looking for a serious long term thing, and him being separated and not divorced did not put us on the same page.  Points to me for not mentioning that he is two inches shorter than me, unemployed, and waaaaay too schmoopy from the outset.  It was a win when I got a very nice response letting me know that he understood, and said if I change my mind, I can contact him.

I have another tentative first meeting scheduled for Friday.  Now THIS one I am pretty hopeful about.  Only a couple years older than me, very tall, very cute. We've had some nice online chats.  During a chat he said he'd like to take me out.  We settled on this Friday night for drinks.  I bite my fingernails in anticipation of the solidifying of the plans.  I really really hope this one happens.  I have a good feeling about him.  Of course, me being me, when he asked me if I wanted to go out, I said "Sure.  Are you married or a serial killer?"  His response was "Well, yes. I am a married serial killer who lives in my mom's basement"  My response? "Perfect."  See, he can roll.

So, here's hoping something awesome this way comes.  I'm ready, I think, to let go of all of the misbehaving go nowhere things, and maybe be a grownup.  Or at least, a lady.

Yeah, I can't read that last sentence without laughing either.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

I guess maybe I am.....

People often like to tell me that I am the busiest person they know.
Like I don't already know that.
Because I am one of the busiest people in the universe.

Part of that is because I have a job that I love that pays the bills, AND I have another job that I love that I do strictly out of love.

Last weekend was 75% about that job.  Friday and Sunday I had the honor of working the first ever Square Roots Festival in Lincoln Square.  Something something craft beers, something something local restaurants, something something wares and trinkets.....for me it was all about the music. 

Sunday, I worked the merch.  Ahem, for you non-musical folks, I looked after the artist merchandise.  I met many lovely people.

Friday night, I was stage manager for one of our outdoor stages (we had four stages total, that's how we roll at the OTSFM).  I had the pleasure of working with Garland Jeffries and his band, as well as the Hoyle Brothers. 

Here's a picture of Garland and his band, from my vantage point:

The other 25% of my weekend? Rocking the F out at Mayhem Fest with two of my awesome friends.  There was Anthrax, there was Motorhead, and there was SLAYER.  We left before Slipknot.  

So, I guess it's true - I am busier than anyone I know, but I am having one hell of a kick ass time.....

Fridge Note:

Quick apology to all of you,

Sorry for being so far on the defense last week that I wound up on the offense.

So, for that I apologize

Thankfully some of you like me enough to call me out on my shenanigans.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Thanking the Big Guy

**Pre post statement - I really couldn't care less your thoughts on God, so please, don't post them in the comments, m'kay? **

So, last night - I came very very close to being a gigantic moron.
Or, I WAS a gigantic moron last night, and missed very bad things by the skin of my teeth.

I was driving home from dinner with friends around 9:30ish.  It was pouring rain - lots of thunder, lightning, wind, etc.
I decided I wanted to call my friend.  Well, my phone was being stupid, so I spent a good amount of time trying to call my friend and not watching the road.

I looked up, and all of the cars in front of me were stopped and they were CLOSE.
I slammed on the brakes, hydro-planed, tensed up my whole body for the pending collision.

That never happened.

Somehow, I was able to stop my car mere inches from the car in front of me, and the car behind me was able to swerver off to the right to avoid hitting me.

What should have been a four car mash up was a big old scary nothing.

I have zero explanation for this other than divine intervention.  For real.

I am equally ashamed and grateful.  I can't believe I was so very careless.

I'm never touching my cell phone again when I'm driving.  Never.

My entire upper body aches today, I'm guessing it's due to the mega-tensing up bracing I did.

So, stay smarter than me, and stay uninjured.

Fridge Note:

I appreciate all of your concern on the last post.
You all kinda missed the point.
And I feel, maybe, it was intentional?

Fat not a comfortable topic?

Anyway - thanks again for your concern.  Message received.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Just this once

I know that a while ago I stated on this here blog that I would not be using this medium as a way to talk about  HAES and body positive views.
And I meant it.
I'm still not going to do that. 
This blog is a mis-anthropic, no set topic, humor blog.
Or, the ramblings of a crazy angry me.


I'm just writing this post to vent, because this happened last night and it's still on my mind.

I was driving home from the train station to my house.  I drive down a side street with many stop signs.  One of the stop signs is a part of a four way stop, and the cross street is a major "busy" street.
I'm pretty aware at this intersection, because the cars on the busier cross street treat their stop sign as a suggestion rather than something they have to do.

Did I mention, I'm a pretty aggressive driver in general? Well, I am.....anyway.....

So, I pull to my stop sign as Car on the right is stopping and now going. SO, it's MY turn.
Second car on the right doesn't care, and he's going to go.  Well, I don't give a shit, I'm already heading across the intersection, and I have the right of way, and I'm not stopping.
He inches up, I keep going, our game of chicken ends with me going (inches from his front bumper) and me, showing him the middle finger of my pretty new manicure.

He turns and follows me to the red light.
He gets in the non-lane next to me, and starts yelling.
I yell back.
We argue for a bit (Ok, I know this is not a good idea, he may have a weapon and I get that, but I was pissed).
All of my statements were profanity free and statements of fact.
He was running out of argument - so he went for my jugular:
"Don't be made because you a fat bitch. Don't be mad cuz you just fat."
My response:
"I'm mad because you are an asshole who doesn't know how to drive"
"Fatty fat bitch. Fat......"
He then rolls up his window and peals away with an extremely illegal right turn.

Um, I'm pretty sure he's patting himself on the back for "winning" that argument.

What bothers me is this:
The way strangers - either in a confrontation, or just because they feel like it - like to use the word FAT at me as an insult, a put down, something awful.
My head is not in the clouds, yes, I am fat - it's a statement of fact, much like I am blond, I am smart, I am adorable and well liked.  I am fat is just a part of who I am.

I'm mad because he thought, as do many strangers, that calling me fat makes the whole thing an automatic win.  They are proud that they said it.

I'm tired of it.  I think what bothers the haters most of all is that I am not only fat, but fat and self-confident (90% of the time), fat and having a great time, fat and has lots of friends, fat and has an interesting fucking life.  Apparently I can have none of these good things, because to them the only thing they see is F A T.

I spend a lot of time reminding the people in my life that they have Value - not only to me, but to others (so many uncountable others) and should therefore value themselves.  This one stupid incident is going to make me work twice as hard to remind myself that I too have value.

So, dear readers - you may be tall, short, fat, thin, black, blue, blond, brunette, stupid, smart, shy, etc, but I value you.
Thank God my fingers aren't too damn fat for me to type with.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012


I woke up this morning.
The sun was breaking through some scattery purpley clouds.
My knees both hurt a little less.
I slept well, but still had weird dreams.  But I slept well.
I heard three great songs on my way to the train station this morning.
I got to my job that I love, even after 4 years, 11 months and 29 days.
I had some yummy iced decaf.
My hair looks fabulous.

I'm thinking it's time to change my ways a little.
As in, I'm going to be more like her:

Monday, July 9, 2012

Not too much

I wish I had some wicked awesome stories for you from vacation, but I really don't.

It was hotter than whatever, even in Michigan, pretty much the whole time.

Wednesday we went to see Brave.
Thursday we had breakfast at Cracker Barrel.
Friday I sat in the house all day.
Saturday I sat in the house all day.  Saturday night the massive heat finally broke.  We were at the neighbors' house for dinner and fireworks.  After that we went back to the house and had some more fireworks.
Sunday was a beautiful day.  Breakfast on the deck, and a quick boat ride.
Then we came home.

That's pretty much it.  Ok, not true.
There was:
  • drinking
  • eating
  • playing games - I am very good at 7 Wonders!!
  • drinking
  • napping
  • reading
  • drinking
  • sleeping late
  • laughing
  • and oh, did I mention drinking?
I am very well rested, and very well recharged.

I came in to work this morning and realized Wednesday is my 5th anniversary at this job.  Sigh.  I remember my first day like it was yesterday.  I hope for 5 x 5 x 5 years more.....

Monday, July 2, 2012

Happy happy

Time sure got away from me, sorry for the delay.

And that's enough of that........
If anyone wants to make me a tshirt that says: Full of Misery (on the front) and Obviously Extreme Jealousy (on the back) in a very cool way, I'd be forever grateful and will wear it just about every day, since every one who knows and actually loves me knows what a complete bunch of b.s. those two statements are.


So, I had another fantastic and amazing weekend.  I'm still pretty happy just because of it.

Friday night I went to see Tesla and the Scorpions at Northerly Island.  I'd never been there, and it did not disappoint as far as venues go.  The sound was great, it doesn't hold that many, so even our "cheap seats" were good.  I went w K, we go to a lot of concerts together. Telsa was awesome, they played all of the good stuff, closing with Little Susie, which is K's favorite song.  The Scorpions were really amazing, considering their kinda advanced years.  The weather was starting to get a little scary, the wind picked up, it got chilly, and then the lightning started.......but the actual rain held off until after the last chord of "Rock you like a Hurricane".  Like Mother Nature was giving mad props to the Scorps, and let them finish.  My aching knees only got us so far, and I ordered up an Uber car for us.  It took less than ten minutes to arrive, and we got home super quick in air conditioned lincoln town car luxury.

Saturday was breakfast with VonMom.  Which, you know I have grown to enjoy.  VonSis came along this time, and somehow that made VonMom a little weird and kinda cranky.  No matter. 
Saturday evening I hopped on the ole Metra train and headed out to visit with Brando and TLB.  Well, kinda forgot that that is the train that goes to Ravinia.  Saturday night was Sarah McLaughlin, and the train was PACKED with granola lesbians.  Not the best of times, but well worth the misery to hang out with two of my favorite people.  I attempted to bribe Libby into friendship with coloring books - not sure if it worked.  Brought along some cherry and raspberry lambics to bribe Brando and TLB and those did work.  We had a lovely time with some fantastic food.  The train home was less crunchy, and I was grateful for that.

Sunday VonMom and I had lunch with my God-mother.  I dig her the most.  She's awesome, and had been one of VonDad's best friends since they were kids. She thinks I'm cool.  She loves all of my stories.  We went to Baker's Square (forgive me, not MY choice) where I ran in to two different people that I take the train with every day.  Kinda funny, didn't know Baker's Square was the big Metra Meet up locale.

Now, I have to work a grand total of 1 1/2 days, and then the tricycle of awesome rides for Michigan.  Ahhhh, my annual rest and recuperation week.  We won't be back until sometime on Sunday.  So, you won't be hearing from me.  There is no internet where we are going, and I'm ok with that.

So, have a wonderful holiday, kiss your babies, appreciate your friends, and I'll be back next week.