Thursday, December 23, 2010

Merry Happy

I had been thinking all week about how I wanted to write today's post. Did I just want to write Fridge Note: Merry Christmas Bitches? Did I want to get sappy Auld Lang Syne-ish? Did I want to quote lyrics from the Sister Hazel Christmas album? Then last night happened, and to me, retelling that story is the best gift I can give you. By now you all know that VonDad is my most favorite human being ever. And VonMom can be difficult. So last night I was at VonParents' house. We had some chicken soup (awww. because I've been sick). We were talking for a bit. VonMom: "I have this song I want you to hear!!" Me: "Ok. NO!!! I want to hear MY song. Really really really loud!" VM: "Ok, after you hear my song...." Me: "NOOOO!!!! MY SONG RIGHT NOW!!!" Of course, I lost. VM is now in the dining room, trying to get her CD to play. She's got a shiny new CD player hooked up to her stereo system from 1976 (not kidding, it's really from 1976). Her stereo system kicks major ass. The whole house shakes when you get that thing cranking. VM: "!!!! How do I make this work! This fucking thing won't work! BOB!!!" ***ahhhh, the holidays***** Finally, she gets "her song" to play. It's some song called "Christmas in Chicago", from the Yule show put on by the Chicago Symphony Orchestra. Meh. Trite and trilly. Song over. Me: "Play my song N O W!!!!!" (Probably should fill you in right about favorite Christmas song is "Do They Know it's Christmas". We used to sing in in choir, I had the Boy George solo. Also, my dad used to play it really loudly on Christmas day to wake VonSis and me up. Soooo the memories make it my favorite. VonParents own this song on vinyl.) VonDad gets up, goes into the dining room, and finds the record. VonDad: "You're lucky we still have this." Me: "No, mister, you're lucky you still have this!!" .......dunn....dunn.....dunn...duun.....(I can't really do the intro to that song justice, but y'all know what it sounds like) The house is shaking. VonMom and I are dancing and singing around the dining room and front room. VonDad is sitting in the kitchen, laughing, watching the whole mess. I grab a stuffed elephant off the piano and start dancing around with it. Singing at the top of my lungs. VonDad is laughing and shaking his head. VonMom is singing and kinda dancing while also taking dead leaves off of her plants. Me: "Get in here mister!" Didn't think he would, but he did. Sure, he didn't sing or dance, but he bopped his head, it's more than I expected. While this was happening, my brain whispered to me: 'Remember this. Soak it all in. It's going to be one of your favorite holiday memories of all time. Just you and your parents, dancing around like fools.' .....and in our world.....of plenty.....we can spread a smile of joy.....throw your arms around the Christmas time!!!...... Merry Happy to friends. No matter where you are, or what you celebrate, you'll be in my thoughts.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Hating the hoarders

The other night, I was on the phone with Sil1x. As is usually the case, we ended up talking about at least a dozen different topics. One that we landed on was that show, "Hoarders." I have never, ever watched "Hoarders". Sure, it's gross, and they find dead animals, and there's some b.s. therapy and some crying, and a nasty-assed yard sale - "HI!!! This table was under 54 pounds of garbage!! Wanna buy it for $10?", and I guess all of that can be entertaining to some people. Not to me. But not for the reasons you'd think. Here's my thing. I get mad (jealous?) at the people for one simple, silly reason. Those bastards have HOUSES. AND THEY MESS THEM UP AND MAKE THEM UNLIVABLE. Um, yeah. Let me remind the reader, I live in Chicago. This means that my apartment is so small, I have to choose one thing every day to throw away. I mean, if I let it go a week, I'd probably be a borderline hoarder. Closets? I have ONE. So for me it's more like one new article of clothing in? Six old ones must be given away. Immediately, like same day. None of this building a bag to donate, NO ROOM for that. The only place I do not feel cluttered is my fridge. Because it's huge and new and pretty. I could jam more and more cheese, produce, beer, whipped cream all the time. And I can KEEP things. Like condiments. I have some. I don't have to throw those away. Sad thing is, I don't cook. Freezer full of Lean Cuisine's and caramel Drumstiks, fridge full of cheese, salsa, milk and beer. Just writing this post makes me want to make a list of what I should go through, clean out, throw away today. There may be something under my bed that lies there mocking me. Back to my point. I want a house. I want a house more than I want anything, more than I've ever wanted anything. And I know this is NOT going to happen if I choose to continue to live in my major metropolitan city. At best, I'll get a condo. Which will just mean what? Maybe another closet, but likely not much more space? And yet there's Mabel, or Billy Bob, or BettySue on Hoarders with these old, big, once lovely HOUSES. Real houses, with yards, and stairs, and stuff. And they fucked it up. And it'll probably have to be torn down. Or if not, the cameras will go away and the asshole will go back to hoarding more crap all over again. Much better to watch "Married to Rock", I told Sil1x. There's nothing at all to get mad at that show about!!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Here they are!

These mah kidz.
Vince, Erica, Andrew, Angela.

Monday, December 20, 2010

My kids

I get attached to people very, very easily. Sure, I'm a venom-spewing, people-hating misanthrope most of the time, but when I like people, I really like them. So, there's my kids. I've written about them here before, but it's been a while, so humor me. Plus, I'm on cold meds, so humor me more. My kids. Ok, not really kids anymore. The youngest is 22. They can drink. They plan on drinking tonight, when I see them. Tonight.When.I.See.Them. See, I had let my kids go. Or so I thought. It's been over three years since I stopped working at the Teen Center. While I don't miss the place, I always miss what good we were doing there. I'm proud of my seven years there, even though some days were the hardest days of my life. But my kids made that job easy. There is a core four of them, and an extended pile of about a dozen or more all together. I saw the core four last year. Probably around Christmas. We agreed we'd see each other over the summer. Didn't happen. So, I let them go. They are all my friends on teh fb now, so I just figured I'd keep up with them there, and that would be enough for me. They are growing up, they have lives, and more important things to do than to catch up with me. Then, one day early November, I got an email from one of them. He wanted us all to get together at Thanksgiving. We made plans - that I eventually and unfortunately had to break. They sent more emails. December 20th was agreed on, and even my kid who now lives in Los Angeles would be able to go. Today is December 20th. These kids have family and friends to see, and they are all coming downtown to have dinner with me. We'll eat and *sigh* drink and be very merry. We have years and years of memories to recall, and they have loads and loads of new stories for me, with their college lives, and real lives and all. And I will smile like I haven't smiled in a while. And I will hug them all, because even the boys (men?) let me hug them. And I will tear up a little on my train home. Because I know, now, that no matter how old my kids get, and however far they travel, and whatever they end up doing, I will always occupy a little corner in their brains, a part of their good memories from their high school days. Because I am theirs' and they are mine. Hopefully for many many years to come.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Fridge Note:

I'm sick. Like porcupine in my throat sick. I hate sore throats, they can lead to other bad things. So, I have nothing witty nor bitchy to say. Who wants to bring me a venti vanilla roobois tea latte? This seems to be the only thing that helps me...... boo hiss, I say.

Monday, December 13, 2010


Words I don't like at this time of year: Wintery Mix Feels Like Measurable Snowfall Wind Chill Is-it-cold-enough-for-you-? Sleet Ok, sleet is a very cool word, just when it happens not in Chicago.

Thursday, December 9, 2010


Wow. That last post was sooo much better in my head. Sorry about that lords and ladies. I'll try better next time. F*ck me for trying to write a decent post while I'm pretty busy at work. On a totally unrelated note: Welcoming Consider the Source to my blogroll. Because, you see, he's HIlarious, and an all around good guy.

By perspective

For no reason in particular, I've had a few conversations with women I went to high school with, and still am friends with. The topic of popularity came up each time. I find it really hard to define popularity in our school, as it was a Catholic, all girls school. So, not the norm, I think. Interestingly enough, I had not one, not two, but four different thoughts on who the popular girls were. My hairdresser went so far as to point to herself and say "We were". I gave her a blank stare. "Well, we were the athletes." Um, no - athletes did not equal popular at a smallish all girls school. I had to tell her no, they weren't. Also, that no one I had talked to about it had named her group as the popular ones. There was one group that was mentioned that back in high school I might have deemed popular simply based on a few criteria - they were cool, they were beautiful, they were fashion forward, and they had the hottest boyfriend. But in hind-sight, they weren't actually popular. I think the best answer I got was the simplest. Chris looked at me, paused, and said "Well, we were. You and I." I was about to correct her, but then I paused. We then discussed that even though she was all skater girl, and I was all black converse high tops and new wave music, and we were in plays and no we didn't play sports, and yes we got into trouble - lots and lots and lots of trouble we got along with just about everyone. The one thing that made Chris' statement true is that we knew and were friends with everyone. I mean everyone. And if I didn't like someone, Chris might and vice versa. So that being said, we really did know EVERYONE in our class. And the classes above and below us. The main point is who cares? Who cares now? Does this affect any of us in any way shape or form? Does the fact that I field and deny many friend requests on teh fb on a regular basis make me any more of a person? Probably because I don't care now, and I never cared then is why I was popular. I have no idea why I even wrote about this - it was just on my mind. Sorry for the rant.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Aftermath and carnage

So I guess whatever happens at the cookie party stays at the cookie party. Wow. Those ladies can drink. And party. Here's some of the numbers of the party: About 20ish - number of ladies that attended 10 - bottles of wine consumed 1.5 - bottles of vodka consumed 14ish - beers consumed 6 - two liters of raspberry ginger ale used as mixer 22orsoish - lbs of food consumed. 21orsoish - lbs of said food that was cheese related 1millionty - dozens of cookies brought, redistributed and left with 18ish - ornaments swapped 1 - very intoxicated friend. But that's cool. We've all been there 0 - pictures taken by me. By the time I realized I could take pictures with my phone, it was too late. Nothing but carnage and aftermath 0 - male friends who showed up in drag. Maybe next year. I tried to get Shannon to sleep on my couch, but then it got all snowy and she said "no I has to go snow snow snow blah blah blah" It took me two days to clean up and recover. Good.Times.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow

You get a post today because tomorrow I'm outy 5000. I'm having my kinda-annual Cookie and Ornament swap. Also known as: Let's us ladies sit around eating carbs, drinking too much, and being snarky bitches. Tomorrow, 6:30 to whenever. I love my party. Generally. This year it has outgrown my 418 square feet, and has been moved upstairs to VonSis's place. This means tonight and tomorrow I get to lug food/drinks/cookies/decorations upstairs and set up a space that isn't mine. I have at least three friends coming who have never been to my place. This means I'll have to schlep downstairs to show them my place. This means, I have two locations to clean pre and post party. VonSis upsides:
  • Dishwasher
  • Space. Lots and lots of space. As in: we can do drinks in this room, cookies in this room, food in this room.
  • Decor. I haven't seen it yet, but I'm sure she's been decorating.
  • Did I mention space? She's got lots of it.

VonSis downsides:

  • I fear VonBroInLaw/Landoverlord will show up and not leave. And there's nothing I can do about it, as it's his house.
  • Not very cozy. Maybe I'll just sit on different people's laps, make it cozier.
  • Not my space, so I'll be a little nervous.
  • Stairs.

My knees have been getting better lately, and I'm down to seeing AwesomeKneeDoc once every three weeks now. But damn, I'm still no good at stairs.

I am going to try try I said, to take some photos of the shin-dig, as I know some of you like to say "pictures or it didn't happen".

And you'd all be invited, except that it's ladies only. And I just now realized that most of my readership is men. Huh. Who wants to wear a skirt and some lipstick and show up anyway?

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Fridge Note:

No one I know completed NaPoBloMo this year. Way to go, mah individualz!! Love ya, V

I've got nothin'

I don't want to write about what I thought I wanted to write about. I wrote a whole post, and then deleted it. Then I stared at my screen for about five minutes, waiting for some inspiration. None came. I'm stumped. See what happens when it snows?!?!?!