Friday, September 24, 2010

...because a peanut is a legume.....

So, I'm pretty sure someone was trying to kill me earlier this week while I was in New York for work. That, or someone didn't take Meeting Planning 101. Ya see, I have food allergies. One of the cool ones. The conversations usually go like this. "Oh, I can't. It has nuts in it.:" "?" "There, right there, cashews." "Oh, so you've never had peanut butter!?!?!" "Um, I eat peanuts and peanut butter all the time. I have a tree nut allergy." "?" "Peanuts are not a nut. They are a legume. All other nuts are tree nuts. I'm allergic to tree nuts." And then......I become the food allergy dork. Apparently, I've never had the tree-nut-talk with either of our meeting's planners. Here's the menus: Mon breakfast: yogurt berries GRANOLA WITH NUTS Mon lunch: sandwiches fruit SALAD WITH WALNUTS Mon snack: wasabi peas and a GIGANTIC BOWL OF MIXED NUTS Mon dinner: pasta with butternut squash and PINE NUTS Tues breakfast: eggs bacon yogurt GRANOLA WITH NUTS Tues lunch: sandwiches SALAD WITH PECANS Tues snack: granola bars made in a factory with TREE NUTS Tues dinner........no nuts. I got lazy. I got comfortable. Dessert came. Ah! Creme brule.....I stuck my fork in, took a big bite....FUCKING ALMONDS! WHO PUTS ALMONDS IN CREME BRULE!?!?!? Now, my evening is ruined. I choke down a benedryl. Fuck. I've had some wine, so would rather not go the benedryl route, but I can feel itching and swelling starting. I drink a gallon of water. By the time we got back to the hotel to regroup to head out to a bar, I was growing a lovely collection of hives. Awesome. A shower and more benedryl for me, no going out for drinks with my co-workers. Meeting planning 101 - a quick email to all attendees to determine food allergies and dietary restrictions. I told them next time I'd like to plan the menu.

14 comments:

Jennifer said...

My aunt has the same deal... tree nuts. The thing is, she also can't have mangoes. They're somehow related to the cashew. Dare I ask?? Can you have mangoes?

Well, I'm glad you didn't choke to death. Do you keep an epi-pen handy?

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Oh my goodness.

I'm interested in mangoes, too. Because they're my new favorite salad ingredient (and I never bought a mango in my life, until April or some such this year).
~

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Myself, I never get out of the boat for mangoes. Sadly No has made the whole idea twitchy.

That's really awful Von. Hard to believe they've never had the problem before.

The awful part was the no-drinking. Would have been better off catching Black 47 with B^4.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

The awful part was the no-drinking. Would have been better off catching Black 47 with B^4.

So true. And I should have bought the condo in downtown NYC that I lived in from 1984 to 2005 instead of renting it.

DOH!
~

Von said...

Mangoes I'm not sure, but get this, I'm also allergic to watermelon. Interesting combo. Please, my epi-pen expired like 7 years ago. I am usually awesome about checking things out. I'm thinking I should probably still carry one though.
I SHOULD have hung out with B4. Next time, for sure next time.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

we should get B^4 to come to the Midwest.

Of course, he'd never survive.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Guess who's flying to Milwaukee next week for a site inspection?
~

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

B^4?

Seriously, if you want to get together for lunch or something, drop me an email. If you're staying overnight, or after work is over, we might even be able to find a place to get beers.


You can get an addy from my blooger site somewhere....

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Of course, it is so zombie to leave a message for thunderpants on Von's blog.

Hey, it's how I shamble.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I SHOULD have hung out with B4. Next time, for sure next time.

I have to confess, I would not have been fun to be around on Sunday night. I always joke about how my job is really cushy, except when it's not. Sunday was a ten-hour outdoor extravaganza (spent on my feet, but only an hour of lugging shit around). I locked up after eight, and had to drive home with the windows open because I smelled like the bastard son of a thousand armpits. I got home, took a half-hour power shower, and passed out by ten.

Von said...

Well, that sounds like fun. Or not so much.
Next time, for sure. And please try to smell better than a thousand armpits.
Z - no worries. Feel free to have conversations on my blog. Whats mine is yours or whatever....

mikey said...

Pssst.

I'm over here. No, HERE.

Yeah, on that other coast.

Where shit is really fucked up and Meg Whitman wants to turn it into some kind of Madmaxian (I claim the rights to this term) dystompia (I claim this one too, even though it was quite unintentional).

I don't blame anyone for NOT wanting to come here, but there's a LOT of cool stuff, from Tahoe to Monterey to Mendocino...

mikey

Von said...

Mikey,
Next time I head out your way, we'll talk.....

Von said...
This comment has been removed by the author.