Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Plenty of what the f.......

In an effort to forget that L ever existed, and to get myself out of the emotional rut I've been in, amongst other things....
I drunkenly signed up on two free dating websites.
Why one when you can be on two??

Anyway. I did this over the weekend when I was home, alone, drunk.

So, yeah, not an awesome start right there.

The upside, though, is that I'm damn funny, even when drunk.  So my profiles read wicked awesome.  And I have three cute pictures of me that I put up.

I forgot about it, then went on both sites Sunday afternoon to see what was up.
Oh, F word.

Damn it all to hell. Fat fetishists (ICK) and chubby chasers galore.  NOT for me.
So, I had to put the bitch beat down on every single one of those.  Some were a little more persistant than others - those had to be reported to the sites.  I do not play around with the nasty side of things.

Once I got over the shock of all the nasty, I weeded out some definitely nots - nicely, sent them all reply emails with various reasons why they were not the one, ending with 'Good luck with your search!' - and ended up emailing with a few very nice dudes.

It's now Wednesday, and I'm up to three Tims, who are now Tim Dom, Tim Pumpkin Hat, and Tim Cupid; Bill (fiesty one), Jeff  (sweet and too young, but the email was so nice he's in the keep pile), Adam (we'll see on this one) and two other dudes I don't know the names of yet.

I'm really kinda not too serious about this, some might call them place holders (ahem, story for another day, if it ever gets fully resolved), but I'm willing to give it a shot.

The downside is that it's like a gdmn part time job. The texting, the emailing, the picture posting, the updating.  Thank God both sites have apps for my Android. Still, though, it's a pain in the ass.

Currently in the lead is Tim Cupid, who I'm likely to meet this weekend. He's heading out of town next weekend for 2 months for work training. So we're going to meet to see if we want to be email or text friends while he's away.  He's hilarious, and agrees that I have fantastic hair.

At the very least, you all should get some pretty good stories out of this whole thing.

And oh, yeah, my internet crushes - you probably know who you are - you're still in my heart o' hearts, you're just both so damn far away.......

8 comments:

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

You know what you need?

It involves zombies and Jon Langford....

mikey said...

Ah, man. I was on Match.com for YEARS. I give pretty good text and it was in my Porsche days so I'd always put up a picture that included the pcar and between 'em I got lots of responses. A few short-term relationships, a number of incredibly WEIRD experiences (an ex FBI agent was TOTALLY freaked out by me), one utterly mind-blowing sexual experience and one broken heart.

I finally figured out that I don't really WANT a relationship in my life at this point and quit playing, but for anyone willing to stay in occasional contact with planet earth I heartily recommend it...

Von said...

Z, well look at that, both are in my future tonight!

Von said...

Match was going to be next, when I had some extra $$. I'm afraid of the weird/freaky.
At least I'm smart enough to have first meetings (at least) in public places....
Hope I don't get killed.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

sweet and too young

It's better to rob the cradle than to rob the grave... uh, no offense, zrm!

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Good luck with that stuff, von.

I can't take it anymore.
~

mikey said...

Two words.

Pepper. Spray.

Although it should be mentioned that you kind of have to think it through. I have a long and storied history of finding unusual and unexpected ways of macing myself...

Jennifer said...

You can text me if you need help!!! Just in case Tim Cupid turns out to be Tim Twisto!

Seriously though, may the good vibes be with you. If I were back on the single side of the equation, I think I'd just stay there, but then I'm older than you. :)