Friday, October 12, 2012

A break

I want to be honest with you all, so I'll just lay it out here.

I'm having a really hard time with October - and that's why I haven't been around.
I don't think you want to hear about my melancholy, my wanting October to both speed up and get the fuck over, and to slow down, because I do not want 10/23 to come.

I can not believe it has been nearly a year since my Dad passed away.

I don't want to write about it or him, not yet.

So, I just do not write at all.

It's not that I don't have other things to say - I do, sometimes - it's just that I don't really feel like it.

Things are just, you know, fine.  Like FINE in a fucked up insecure neurotic and emotional kind of fine. 

Work - fine
Dating life - meh, fine
Family - fine
Other work - fine

See - you don't even want me to write right now.

So, unless something super magical or inspiring, or God forbid really awful happens, I'm taking October off.  

I'm sorry, I never wanted to be this kind of blogger, but that's how it is right now.


mikey said...

Write when you don't feel like it. Write when you have nothing to say. Write when the last thing you want to do is write.

You never have to hit the "Publish" button, but in my experience it's impossible to understand what you think until you put it down in words.

Just write. Life will take care of itself...

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

mikey's write!

Ha, I just had to say that. I don't write all that much, meself.

K.Becker said...

Take it easy. It gets better. The "firsts" are always hard. It will get less hard as time goes by.

Next week will be 41 years since I lost my dad. I only realized a few years ago that I always seem to feel kind of melancholy in October. So now I give myself a bit of space, and let it pass.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

October is a rough month for me, but it's pretty much all work related. We'll all be here when you come back from your break.