And then, and then, and then.....

While I do not think I was missed very much, I do know that I very much missed being here.

Not that anything exciting good or bad went on last week, just that I missed this.

Taking a few moments to write some bull shit that someone somewhere might take a few minutes to read.

Work is kicking my ass in the worst way.  To the point that I made some mistakes late in the day on Friday because I felt pressured to get something done.  I knew better.  I knew my eyes and brain were too tired to get this thing finished 100% correctly.  But, I felt it had to be done on Friday.  Not sure if the pressure was internal or external.

I've joined another fantasy baseball league. That is now two for me for this year.  Makes me think I might actually end up giving a shit for longer.  Plus, in my primary league, I have Pujols, so there's that.

I blew off guitar graduation on Saturday.  I feel kinda bad about it, but not too much.  I had over booked my day, and it was a cold shitty weather day.  If I had gone to class/graduation, then my guitar would have been in the car for something like 12 hours - which is SO not good for the guitar.  So I skipped it and went to pick up my new black with flower patterned mary janes instead.  If you know me at all, you know I gotta have a kickin' new pair of mary jane's at least once a year.

My entire family is driving me bat shit. This includes VonMom, VonSis, and the steps.  All of them.  I'm thinking they are the reason I can't sleep at night.

Oh, yeah, I can't sleep at night. Again. Awesome.

I'm working Thursday night at Old Town, and then am off and have zero plans for Friday and Saturday nights.  Stay tuned to see if this actually stays the case. 

This coming Sunday night, John's band is playing at Reggie's in the South Loop.  Because I am an old lady, I will be taking Monday off work.  Ok, I am an old lady, AND the clocks are changing, AND John and Toni are off Monday and are going to Kuma's.  So there's all of the real reasons.

No one left me any Skittles vodka in my absence.

I wonder if Jennifer meant it, and she really will not be back.  That would make me sad.

I'm itching to call another blogger on the phone and have a chat.  For the first time ever.  It could happen this week.  Any guesses who I am calling?

Happy Monday, if you are so inclined.

We've Got a Post: Be Careful What You Ask For/ ZRM Edition

Kinda working out some things in my own mind before I put fingers to keyboard, so

That's never worked out for me...

Just leave the liquor cabinet with a little something left.

No promises. ....wait, do I even have keys here? How did that happen?

Do you have a Romantics CD? Cuz that's ALWAYS a problem.

whew. Just getting over a cold/flu hybrid, and feeling kinda punchy. Jefferson Starship on the new iPod, and I can FEEL the office rum calling out to me....

Does this qualify as a post yet? It's certainly more than I've put up at MY blog, even when I'm not just posting videos that Google won't even embed.

Where's Von?

Kinda Fridge note:
Dear Readers,
I am:

• Swamped at work, where I admittedly write these lovely missives, so
• BFF Shannon is now working for the same company, on the same floor, so going out to lunch trumps writing for now
• Learning my new ergonomic keyboard is difficult, and do not feel confident typing anything to you
• Kinda working out some things in my own mind before I put fingers to keyboard, so

No. Posts. For. You.
For now.
see what I did there?!?

Be back soon.

Those with keys - have at it for this week. Just leave the liquor cabinet with a little something left.

I want

• Romance
• Flowers
• Love songs
• Candy
• Good scotch
• Great sex
• Marriage

So, basically everything I don't have right now.

Well, there goes that

There is one thing I hate over and above all other things.

Being blown off.

Let me define "blown off": We have plans. There is a specific day and rough estimate of time and location is set.  There is a plan.  That day and time come and go, no word from the other person. No word at all.

There is a reason for this - watch me go all psychology on your asses.
When I was little and my parents divorced, I was too young to know that my biological father was a total and complete piece of shit.  So I would sit in our big front window every weekend and wait for bio father to show up.  Sometimes, he did. Most times, he didn't. Then, he stopped coming all together.

So, whenever someone (ANYONE) blows me off, I become the little girl waiting in the big picture window, looking at every car that passed, wondering if that's the one that's going to stop and pick me up to spend time with me.


I've been this way my whole life.  The easiest way to hurt me is to blow me off.
It tells me that I have no value to you - that whatever you are doing or not doing, I'm not even a thought in your mind.  Especially now in this day and age, when you can so easily send a text. Even if it's a lie, or two words - you can text and say "not coming".  Then I won't fall asleep on the couch, waiting and wondering.  Then, I won't feel like I have no value.  Then I won't be staring out the window.

Junior blew me off last night.  So this is a two steps back kind of day.  Confidence shaken, value devalued.

Hope he knows he no longer exists in my universe.

A hole in my bitch armor....

Sigh.
I could use a little lovin' today.

Oh, yeah...

I KNEW there was something I wanted to write about. It just took me a while to remember what it was.
NO IT'S NOT WHITNEY FUCKING HOUSTON!! (see my twitter feed for my thoughts on her)

It's....THE CATHOLIC CHURCH AND POLITICS!!

I know, I'm totally breaking my own rules here, but I just need to vent.
So
Yesterday I had to go to Mass for the second time in four weeks.  Yes, it did damn near kill me.  But this time was just so much worse that I could have imagined.
Yesterday was Sil1x's third and final child's Baptism, so of course, I had to go.  Sil1x, knowing my disdain for Mass and my busy schedule said I could just skip it and show up to the party, but I wasn't raised that way, so off to Mass I trudged. 
Found one of Sil1x's friends that I love, sat with her. 
Mass is Mass is Mass, we were having a contest to see just how many mints we could eat before Mass was over.
Mass goes as Mass goes - Reading, reading, singing, reading.....sermon....WAIT WHAT!?!?!
"Today's sermon is a recording by our holy and blah blah blah Cardinal George"
The recording starts, as expected, with a fervent plea for $$.  I half expected it to say "We accept all major credit cards! Vital organs! This shit ain't free people!!"
And then.....
The recording started going on and on and on how bad our President is, what a bad bad man, contreception is the devil's work etc etc etc....
I very nearly exploded in church. I was almost speaking in tongues, and not the holy kind.
WTF, church!?!?!?
I already have a million and one reasons why I don't go to Mass, and now, you do this??

Catholic Church has always been the textbook definition of an Old Boys' Club (maybe the original OBC?), but now - it's even worse than that - it's clearly Republican.

I'm done. Done done done.  Until another family member passes away, you won't be seeing my sinning, pro-choice, good hearted, strong willed ass in church.

**and off this soap box I jump**