Friday, February 17, 2012

Well, there goes that

There is one thing I hate over and above all other things.

Being blown off.

Let me define "blown off": We have plans. There is a specific day and rough estimate of time and location is set.  There is a plan.  That day and time come and go, no word from the other person. No word at all.

There is a reason for this - watch me go all psychology on your asses.
When I was little and my parents divorced, I was too young to know that my biological father was a total and complete piece of shit.  So I would sit in our big front window every weekend and wait for bio father to show up.  Sometimes, he did. Most times, he didn't. Then, he stopped coming all together.

So, whenever someone (ANYONE) blows me off, I become the little girl waiting in the big picture window, looking at every car that passed, wondering if that's the one that's going to stop and pick me up to spend time with me.


I've been this way my whole life.  The easiest way to hurt me is to blow me off.
It tells me that I have no value to you - that whatever you are doing or not doing, I'm not even a thought in your mind.  Especially now in this day and age, when you can so easily send a text. Even if it's a lie, or two words - you can text and say "not coming".  Then I won't fall asleep on the couch, waiting and wondering.  Then, I won't feel like I have no value.  Then I won't be staring out the window.

Junior blew me off last night.  So this is a two steps back kind of day.  Confidence shaken, value devalued.

Hope he knows he no longer exists in my universe.

8 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Sorry to hear it, Von. I hope the weekend is much better for you.
~

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

So sorry, apologies for the male gender.

Some of us show up. Some of us even bring New Glarus.

fish said...

I recommend this.

WV: Substance.

Freaky really.

Michael said...

I think we're both a little salty today. :)

Von said...

Love the video. Yes, I feel like doing that. When I stop moping.
Z - you're one of the good ones. One of the married good ones, alas.
M - Agreed.
Thunda - Sure, when I sit home pouting on my couch, it'll be awesome.

Jennifer said...

Not to get all wise-ass on you, but part of me is still thinking, with a name like "Junior"... maybe you're lucky. :)

wv??

certaine sistyr

:)

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Maybe you should come up an help us build this robot Von.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Maybe you should come up an help us build this robot Von.

Then it would be a Vontron, and it would be one sexy robot!