Friday, October 21, 2011

One more before I go

I thought I'd leave one more "post" before I go. If you can call posting a video a post!
I might try to post while on the road, that is if my stupid smart phone lets me!
Now, it's on to BOSTON!
HAPPY FRIDAY, SUCKAS!
Oh, you know I love you. Play nice while Von is gone. I'll be watching!


Monday, October 17, 2011

Update on the un-dateable

Yesterday I had to quit both free dating web sites.
I had been thinking about it anyway, but then this happened:
I received not one, but TWO emails containing pictures of stranger men's penises.
And NO, I didn't ask for them.
I had been emailing with one man who seemed nice enough, and out of the blue - BAM - dick pic.
I thought, ok WTF and stopped emailing with him.  Then I reported him to the site.
Logged off there, went over to the other site, same thing happens!
I sat back and did some intro-spection -
'Am I the kind of woman that attracts this? What did I do to make this happen? Who in the hell does this?! What kind of reaction are the expecting to get from that!?!?!!?'
As I got more and more irate, I just went and disabled both accounts.
Before I disabled them, I did email two other non-dick pic sending men I had been having normal chatting emails with. I gave them my phone number so they could call or text me instead.
I doubt I'll hear from either one of them.
You get what you pay for, I guess, and these sites were both free.

I did have to laugh when my new train friend B said "Well, were you disgusted by the pictures, or more.........disappointed?"


So, here I remain - Vonbyherselfforfuckingever.

I'm blaming L for my current state of being.  I was totally and completely fine being alone before he got himself involved with me and then dropped off the face of the planet.
Now, I'm wanting something I hadn't wanted for a while, and confused and hurt as to why I just can't have it.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Not awesome

Things are not going awesome in the world of online dating, at least for me.
I've had a few go nowhere texters.
I did meet one guy the other night.
I was sure that I would be the one to politely decline a second date, as in my opinion I was 100% dating down, but he gave me the heave ho via email the next day.
Sure, it was two hours and $4.75 of my time, but it's shaken my ability to read people.
It has also called in to question my high opinion of myself.  Perhaps I am not as awesome as I think I am.  Or, even worse, perhaps my personality does NOT outweigh other less stellar attributes.

Tonight, I'm supposed to be meeting Junior. I call him Junior because he is 5 years young and 3 inches shorter than what I consider my minimums.  But, he's persistent, and we've had some fun via email.  A little concerned we are meeting without having even exchanged phone numbers yet.  Stranger still that the meeting is likely to occur at either my house or his.  This is only because our first meeting plan is to have an incredibly competitive game of Scrabble.  Sure, I could get murdered, or disappear, BUT if I do go to his place, it will be proof to me that he is not married.

I may be way too naive for this whole Internet dating thing.  My biggest concern is this:
My friends are so fantastic, and do not lie to me.  I do not lie, in fact, one of my faults is being way too honest way too much of the time.  I'm finding out through this Internet trial by fire that I assume everyone is as honest as my friends and I are, all of the time.  I need to stop doing that.  It's not doing me any good, not in this area, at least.

So, this is more of a rant than a post. But it's all that's in my head right now.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Von for MEOW


Um, so I don't have a cat, I'm allergic. But if I could, this would be my cat.
This is Simon's Cat.
If you haven't seen any of these before, you are MISSING OUT.
So check out the rest.

p.s. I do an awesome Simon's Cat voice.

p.p.s. Yes, smart asses, I totally broke a sweat posting this video for you.

Happy Friday.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Plenty of what the f.......

In an effort to forget that L ever existed, and to get myself out of the emotional rut I've been in, amongst other things....
I drunkenly signed up on two free dating websites.
Why one when you can be on two??

Anyway. I did this over the weekend when I was home, alone, drunk.

So, yeah, not an awesome start right there.

The upside, though, is that I'm damn funny, even when drunk.  So my profiles read wicked awesome.  And I have three cute pictures of me that I put up.

I forgot about it, then went on both sites Sunday afternoon to see what was up.
Oh, F word.

Damn it all to hell. Fat fetishists (ICK) and chubby chasers galore.  NOT for me.
So, I had to put the bitch beat down on every single one of those.  Some were a little more persistant than others - those had to be reported to the sites.  I do not play around with the nasty side of things.

Once I got over the shock of all the nasty, I weeded out some definitely nots - nicely, sent them all reply emails with various reasons why they were not the one, ending with 'Good luck with your search!' - and ended up emailing with a few very nice dudes.

It's now Wednesday, and I'm up to three Tims, who are now Tim Dom, Tim Pumpkin Hat, and Tim Cupid; Bill (fiesty one), Jeff  (sweet and too young, but the email was so nice he's in the keep pile), Adam (we'll see on this one) and two other dudes I don't know the names of yet.

I'm really kinda not too serious about this, some might call them place holders (ahem, story for another day, if it ever gets fully resolved), but I'm willing to give it a shot.

The downside is that it's like a gdmn part time job. The texting, the emailing, the picture posting, the updating.  Thank God both sites have apps for my Android. Still, though, it's a pain in the ass.

Currently in the lead is Tim Cupid, who I'm likely to meet this weekend. He's heading out of town next weekend for 2 months for work training. So we're going to meet to see if we want to be email or text friends while he's away.  He's hilarious, and agrees that I have fantastic hair.

At the very least, you all should get some pretty good stories out of this whole thing.

And oh, yeah, my internet crushes - you probably know who you are - you're still in my heart o' hearts, you're just both so damn far away.......

Monday, October 3, 2011

Random Monday

  • Someone is heating up something stinky. It's only 11am, c'mon people.
  • I'm going to see the Mekons on Wednesday. And hanging out with a Zombie. Be jealous.
  • Bedroom overhaul 2011 is moving forward, full steam ahead.  I have about two weeks to take everything out of there and clean it. Then my bestie will be painting it. Hopefully after that the overlords will be putting it all back together when I'm out of town.
  • I'm going to BOSTON!! In 18 days.
  • Oh, and Shannon and TheMarty are going too.......
  • I'm learning new things about college football. I like to yell "GO BIG RED!"
  • I only moped minimally this past weekend. Yeah me. 
  • Von birthday fun times is happening 10/28. Get yourselves to Chicago, and I'll buy you a beer. I swear it.
  • The episode of Dr. Who on Saturday blew my mind. I watched it twice. TWICE.
  • SNL was actually good on Saturday - Melissa McCarthy was hosting. Enough said.
  • I love having a DVR thingy.
  • I've read 27 pages of A Dance with Dragons.  Only 800,000,000 to go.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

All I can write today

Once upon a very different time,
There was a very different girl,
With purple plaid well fought for,
A blue ring that was never quite right,
and yard and yards of perfect white satin