Wednesday, March 11, 2009

And how was your Tuesday night?

Oh, no, MY Tuesday night didn't involve going over to Metro to see a once-in-a-lifetime U2 show at the ultra tiny ultra awesome Metro. My Tuesday night went like this: "Hiiiiiiii Von!!!" The twig. It's talking to me. Why? Why is this pencil talking to me? I'm trying to read US Weekly. Lauren Conrad has a lot to say, and I want to read all about it. "VVVVVVOOOOONNNNN!!!!!" It's not going away. I look up. I'm not at home. I'm sitting in a hard plastic chair at Athletico. Oh, yeah - I have physical therapy tonight. That's why I'm here. I don't get US Weekly at home. The twigpencil? Kelly. My therapist. She's all of 12 years old. She also weighs as much as my left big toe. High pitched voice, up-talker, probably went to a large midwestern state school and was in a sorority. "Ready to work it!?!? How are you feeling?!?!!? How's the knee?!?!?" I'm not sure which to answer first, if at all. I follow behind her. Lumber really, more than follow. I say "Mmmhmm. Yep. Yeah." "How's your knee??!?" I look at my knee. (As you know, I communicate with weird things, i.e. my t.v., my computer, my left knee). Nope, the knee's not going to respond. "It hurts." At which point I tell her how I'm an idiot and can't buy shoes that fit, so I dragged myself around in a brand new pair of shoes Monday that were too big, and does she think that might have caused the knee pain I have today? Twiggy starts me off with some heat therapy. I see. Lay on this table, watch baseball, some dude comes over with this giant heating thing wrapped in a soft towel. Lay there for 10 minutes. Therapy doesn't suck. After that? Ultrasound therapy for 7 minutes. Cold gel on knee (knee rebelling, but only I can hear it) followed by Kelly ultrasound wanding my knee for 7 minutes. Therapy doesn't suck. Knee cap manipulation. Therapy sucks! Hurts! Hurts! Hate Kelly! What did I ever do to you!? "Is that uncomfortable?" Can I stab you in the eye with a pencil?! "A little" "Well, it will help. Just bear with me." After that I had to do some stretches and exercises. Those weren't so bad. I bet they'd be easier if I did the ones I am supposed to be doing at home. Who has time for that? Not me. I may have to try though. Might make the sessions with TwigPencilKelly a little easier. So glad I get to go do it all over again on Thursday.


zombie rotten mcdonald said...

U2 at the Metro?

Was that for realz?

Von said...

Yes. However it turns out they didn't play. L A M E. They sat on couches and spun some records. They each chose a couple of songs to play, none of which was their own. They also did a Q&A with the crowd and the media.
Again, I say LAME.
But, of course, I would have killed to be there.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Well, Chuckles says U2 has been a revenant for 4 albums now, so Lame may be the new relevant.

I wouldn't have killed to be there. I feel like Emilio in Repo man, as he watches the Circle Jerks: "I can't believe I used to LIKE these guys"

Poptart said...

Von this post is hilarity. Love it. I feel that i know and hate Kelly with you.