Wednesday, March 11, 2009

And how was your Tuesday night?

Oh, no, MY Tuesday night didn't involve going over to Metro to see a once-in-a-lifetime U2 show at the ultra tiny ultra awesome Metro. My Tuesday night went like this: "Hiiiiiiii Von!!!" The twig. It's talking to me. Why? Why is this pencil talking to me? I'm trying to read US Weekly. Lauren Conrad has a lot to say, and I want to read all about it. "VVVVVVOOOOONNNNN!!!!!" It's not going away. I look up. I'm not at home. I'm sitting in a hard plastic chair at Athletico. Oh, yeah - I have physical therapy tonight. That's why I'm here. I don't get US Weekly at home. The twigpencil? Kelly. My therapist. She's all of 12 years old. She also weighs as much as my left big toe. High pitched voice, up-talker, probably went to a large midwestern state school and was in a sorority. "Ready to work it!?!? How are you feeling?!?!!? How's the knee?!?!?" I'm not sure which to answer first, if at all. I follow behind her. Lumber really, more than follow. I say "Mmmhmm. Yep. Yeah." "How's your knee??!?" I look at my knee. (As you know, I communicate with weird things, i.e. my t.v., my computer, my left knee). Nope, the knee's not going to respond. "It hurts." At which point I tell her how I'm an idiot and can't buy shoes that fit, so I dragged myself around in a brand new pair of shoes Monday that were too big, and does she think that might have caused the knee pain I have today? Twiggy starts me off with some heat therapy. I see. Lay on this table, watch baseball, some dude comes over with this giant heating thing wrapped in a soft towel. Lay there for 10 minutes. Therapy doesn't suck. After that? Ultrasound therapy for 7 minutes. Cold gel on knee (knee rebelling, but only I can hear it) followed by Kelly ultrasound wanding my knee for 7 minutes. Therapy doesn't suck. Knee cap manipulation. Therapy sucks! Hurts! Hurts! Hate Kelly! What did I ever do to you!? "Is that uncomfortable?" Can I stab you in the eye with a pencil?! "A little" "Well, it will help. Just bear with me." After that I had to do some stretches and exercises. Those weren't so bad. I bet they'd be easier if I did the ones I am supposed to be doing at home. Who has time for that? Not me. I may have to try though. Might make the sessions with TwigPencilKelly a little easier. So glad I get to go do it all over again on Thursday.

4 comments:

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

U2 at the Metro?

Was that for realz?

Von said...

Yes. However it turns out they didn't play. L A M E. They sat on couches and spun some records. They each chose a couple of songs to play, none of which was their own. They also did a Q&A with the crowd and the media.
Again, I say LAME.
But, of course, I would have killed to be there.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Well, Chuckles says U2 has been a revenant for 4 albums now, so Lame may be the new relevant.

I wouldn't have killed to be there. I feel like Emilio in Repo man, as he watches the Circle Jerks: "I can't believe I used to LIKE these guys"

Poptart said...

Von this post is hilarity. Love it. I feel that i know and hate Kelly with you.