Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Ha has from the hospital

A few times last week, while in the hospital, certain things were said or done and I thought to myself - Damn, that would make some good blog fodder. So, here's what I can remember: In the ER: ER Nurse: Is there any chance you are pregnant? Me: Nooooo. -she walks away and quickly comes back- ER Nurse: Are you not pregnant because of any surgery or condition that prevents pregnancy? Me: *sigh* No. I just haven't gotten any in about a year. ER Nurse walks away, quickly, but didn't get far enough before she busted out in laughter. I think I made her night. Day 1: Indian Med student asks many many questions. He walks away, remembers to ask something, comes back...... IMS: Do you have any other STDs? Me: Nooooo IMS: Ok and turns to leave Me: Excuse me? IMS: ? Me: You should be careful how you word things..... IMS: ? Me: Well, you said any other STDs. This indicates that I have a STD, which I do NOT have. IMS: Sorry, my English is not so good. Me: Well, for future reference..... IMS: Thank you. I will remember that. I'll bet he will. *ring ring* Lady: Food service? Me: I'd like some food? Lady: Of course! What do you want? Me: x y z..... Lady: Don't you want some dessert? Our ice cream is very good! Me: Oh, and some chocolate ice cream! **I then realized I kinda liked this part of the stay** The missing Gibb brother was my Transport dude. Not once, not twice, but three times. I wanted to ask him about his delightful hair style and very 70s clothes each time, but I realized my very sick self was in his hands. He could have totally dumped me on the floor at any point. So I left it alone. But I swear, he was the missing Gibb. My NCT (nursing care tech) was TOTALLY hitting on me. Though married, he dug me. And my h1n1 self. He was chatting with me while I was waiting to get the final heave-ho. He came over, gave me a half-hearted kinda awkward hug, and said "Maybe I'll see you at Walmart some time." Um....Walmart? Not likely. I'm a classy, refined Target kind of girl, mister.

13 comments:

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Hospitals are fun places.

Jennifer said...

"Maybe I'll see you at Walmart sometime..."

Now that's romantic. :)

Glad you're home free, Von!

Congrats on the new mayor... should be interesting, but then it always is.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Maybe I'll see you at Walmart some time.

HALLMARK CARD!!!!
~

Von said...

Thunder - I spit out water on that one!
J - I'm pro-Rahm. But you know I don't blog politics.
But, I'm happy he won. My alderman post is having a run off, and I like both candidates. Time for more research on them both!

Another Kiwi said...

It's when they say "Ah which leg is coming off?" that the fun begins.

fish said...

H1N1, the other STD.

I hear all men are pigs.

Brando said...

Hospitals are fun places.

I imagine they must be like a zombie Shoney's.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

"Dead Inside"

Kathleen said...

sooo funny

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Can't say hospital without the HA.

Fish FTW!

Michael said...

Just for reference, until I actually SEE it happen in the real world just ONCE I don't believe people when they say they spit out water.

Is your alderman the one on Chicago Code? Do you think Rahm will make a cameo?

Von said...

I will try to take pictures and post next time someone makes me spit water. I do it a lot, actually. Damn funny bloggers.

LOL on the alderman!! Nope, that's not my guy. I'm on the much less corrupt (but still slightly corrupt) far Northwest Side. Wouldn't it be awesome if Rahm did cameo? He's that type of guy....it could happen!

blue girl said...

"Maybe I'll see you at Walmart some time."

Oh my God, Von, that is hilarious! :)