Wednesday, April 20, 2011

What happens in New Glarus......

........Unfortunately had to STAY in New Glarus.
Yes, there was that much debauchery.

I think I can give you some highlights though:

Two nights in a row of cheese fondue.
YES

A fuck ton (sorry, no other way to describe it, really) of New Glarus beer was consumed.  Yes, of course there was Spotted Cow, but there was also: Totally Naked, Belgian Red, Smoked Rye (YUCK!), Two Women, Fat Squirrel, Snow Shoe, and my new favorite: Cabin Fever.

Alas, I didn't bring nearly enough beer home for myself. I have three bottles of Cabin Fever, and one giant bottle of Belgian Red left, and that's it.  I might have to hit up Shannon and TheMarty for some of their stash.

I do, however, have three NICE bottles of wine from the Primrose Winery.

I wanted to dance with a Vietnam Vet. I almost had my chance, but I had to pee. Really really badly.

The men-folk in New Glarus are adorable and flirty and friendly.  I totally could have gotten me some, if I didn't have a room mate, and if I had been more devil-may-care with the whole stranger sex thing.

My room totally had a sitting area, which made it the party room. It would have been the party room without the sitting area. Yes, I am that much fun on vacation.

Favorite part: Commandeering the jukebox at Sportman's Bar. And getting the entire bar to air drum Phil Collins. Yes, we did.

My hair was the curliest/cutest/dare-I-say sexiest it's ever been. The snow and wind totally helped. NO, I do not have a picture to prove this!! Drunk people don't take awesome pictures.

I didn't kill anyone. 
Though a few people did deserve it, by Sunday morning, totally. 
I showed restraint.

I fell in even more love with my Boston people. Primarily the two that came along to WI. 

I named Scott the brewer (squee!! An actual New Glarus brewer!!) "Shiny Pipes Scott".  Sure, you think it's dirty, 'cuz that's what you do. This is his name because he said to me "I don't work on the big copper pots, I work on the other ones. The shiny pipes."  And he loves his new nickname.

I harassed the only non-gift shop employee at the brewery until he came out to talk to me. A) Wisconsin people are so dang NICE B) He knew it was futile to ignore me. I followed him around the brewery C) Not my fault the walls of glass have little spaces between them, in which I could yell  speak loudly at him, until he came to talk to me.  He was a lab-rat, who spends his time checking fermentation processes. And no, he doesn't get to drink all day. I am sad for him, and recommended he move to Boston and go work for those Sam Adams people.

I did not go to the sausage store, nor did I give two shits about taking pictures of the fiberglass cows all over town.

But, if you ask VonMom what she heard about my vacation, she will tell you that I rested plenty, read lots of books, dressed warmly and went to bed early.

9 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

...and if I had been more devil-may-care with the whole stranger sex thing.

OH!, I know just what you mean!
~

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

and if I had been more devil-may-care with the whole stranger sex thing.

Problem is, it's that God fella that cares, not the devil!

My hair was the curliest/cutest/dare-I-say sexiest it's ever been.

Mine too!

Lauren said...

Something something Riff Raff I LOVE VONNIE.

Love, one of the Boston peeps

(Also, I shit you not, my word verification right now iws "enymmo," which I can only read as "een yo mou(f)")

mikey said...

I wanted to dance with a Vietnam Vet. I almost had my chance, but I had to pee.

Our non sequitur of the decade nominee.

Yay!

El Snacktator said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
El Snacktator said...

shiny pipes...

heh

Von said...

You all are cracking me up!!
See, I knew not all things I posted would make sense!! SOrry.

Lauren - still, the BEST tweet of the whole weekend!!

Brando said...

They should make a new brew in your honor: Vons Have More Fun.

It would of course be a blonde ale.

Von said...

Brando - I love the way you think!!