Ask her

In 1959, a mother of four was living in post-war Berlin, Germany.  Her older children had moved across the planet - two to Canada and one to the United States, taking her first grandchildren with them.

This woman - brave, strong, broke and with a young daughter - found a way to get herself and her child to the United States.  That journey itself has never been discussed much, beyond the fact that the nine year old daughter was both fascinated and afraid of the small rickety prop plane that brought her here.

This woman and her daughter came to the United States legally, with sacrifice and scrapped together money.  Some treasured family heirlooms were sold, had to be, in order to get the two of them to their new home.

The woman knew some English, the daughter none at all.  The woman set up a tailoring shop and found a little apartment for herself and her daughter.  The daughter started to learn English from watching television.  Once school started the little girl took her brave little non-English speaking self to school and LEARNED.  She learned English, and beyond that, developed a keenly Chicago accent.

The woman worked hard, and so did the little girl.  The little girl grew up, learned slang and curse words, and learned and learned and learned.  She learned her way all the way to a degree from Northwestern University.

The woman grew older, as did the little girl, who had two little girls of her own.  She taught them to love learning, to appreciate living this life in this country, even though she remained a German citizen.  Eventually, the woman passed away, and the little girl started teaching her daughters about some of their German history.

The little girl now grown woman is only recently considering becoming a US citizen. She can take her time with this, because when she was nine, her mother did all of the things legally and properly.  She is a Bears fan, a community leader, and one of the most Chicago-y people.

The mother of four? My Oma.  The nine year old immigrant? My Mother.  You want to talk about immigration reform, and deals for people who came here illegally?  TALK TO HER.

I've got NOTHING

Getting all sweaty, here's a video!

Sigh.  Two things I love most of all.
REM and MUPPETS.

I should watch this every day.

Smoochy Smooch Face

On the bus ride to the train yesterday, I was listening to music and in an off-kilter state of tired&melancholy.

So, nothing new.

I like to look out the window* on the bus ride, it's a part of my heading home/switching gears routine. 

For some reason, yesterday there was quite a bit of kissing going on in downtown Chicago.  Quite a bit, indeed.   I saw a couple of meh ones, a creepy one or two, and a few really lovely romantic ones.  One delightful couple was beyond sigh-worthy.  They were waiting for the light to change, and laughing about something.  She wrapped her arm around his waist, he put his hand on her face and kissed her.  It was movie like, and sigh worthy.  Romantic silly headed me totally sighed.

The light changed, the bus went on, and as I got on the train, I pretty much forgot all about the kissing people of downtown.

I took some Tylenol PM before bed (ya know by now I've been having trouble sleeping lately) and let myself drift off.  I rarely remember dreams that occur while in my deep Tylenol sleep.  This morning, though, the memory of a dream kept nudging at the edge of my brain.  I ignored it, it was just a dream and nothing worth remembering.

Sitting at work not 20 minutes ago, listening to my iPod, I heard a song that reminds me of the one that got away.  All of the sudden BAM there it was - the dream from last night.  The one that got away and I were somewhere (irrelevant) and there were other people there (who cares) and we were laughing.  He pulled me in for a kiss and I smiled and we kissed the kiss of the ages.........dream fades out.

While it was a great and lovely dream, I have to admit - I HATE having dreams about him.  They happen less frequently now than in the past, but when they do happen, it sticks with me for days and days.

I'm thinking I just need one of those head-spinning, heart-stopping kisses.  And soon.




*When first typed, I typed 'winder'.  Guessin' my hill-billy side was tryin' to get the better of me.

All VonMom, all the time

Spent a LOT of time with VonMom this weekend.
For the first time ever in her life, she had to take her car in for repairs by herself.

Now, even though she has NEVER helped me out in this situation, I ended up driving her for a day.
Met her at the repair place, drove her to pick up dinner, drove her home.
Saturday morning - drove past the diner to pick her up and take her to the diner, drove her home.
About an hour later - took her back to repair place to pick up her car.

I'm still a shit, though.  I felt the need to remind her she has never once not ever done the same for me.  When I had need of a ride, the standard, the ONLY response was "Call your friends".  I'm just storing up the good mojo on this for the next time she yells at me for anything.

Upside to spending time with her are the little gems she says every now and then.
"I LIKE Black Sabbath" (I spit my coffee out at this one)

"I want to try a Chik A Fil (that's how she said it, over and over and over) sandwich.  But now I feel like I can't go, because it's bad.  Like when I decided to become a citizen, but then I couldn't because George Bush was in office, and that would have been bad."

I'm glad she got her car back.  Really, really glad.  And I know who NOT to call the next time mine breaks down.

Forget it

Ok, let's just chalk up that other post to my sleep deprived self.
An update:
Tuesday date guy (aka likely still married guy) cancelled our date.  I received a text stating that his boss needed him to finish something up.
Um, according to his profile, HE'S the boss.  Hmmmm
Many follow up texts from him - at one point I responded - 'Shouldn't you be working?'
That stopped the texts for the night.
I woke up to several more.  One of which said something about me being mad.  I responded how I was amazed that after a week or so of only texts and emails how he could know my mood.  I stated I was not mad, that things happen.  More texts from him.
I'm still convinced he's still married.  Have not rescheduled anything yet. 

Haven't heard from Friday date to set a plan.  I sent him an email this morning letting him know I'm excited, and mentioned a couple of bars that I think would be good to meet at.  I hope he responds, but the way my week is going, I have the feeling he'll blow me off.

I'm back to expect the worst and (kinda) hope for the best. 

Sadly - One glaring life lesson came out of last night. 

I was super bummed, beyond bummed, teary actually.  I reached out to a couple of people, and announced my cancelled plans on facebook. 
Turns out I no longer have a person in my life who would drop what they were doing because I needed them.  I miss that.  Being honest - for most of the time I was friends with Laura, I had that with her.  She was the one who would come running, often without being asked, to be there for me.  I knew I would miss that, even though she hasn't been that for me in many years.

So, of my bunches and bunches of friends, last night I had no one.  Ok, not true.  RM (previously referred to here as Eldest StepSis) offered to come over and bring beer.  Selfishly, she's not the one I wanted to cry to.  So, I had one person.  

So, here I sit.  Kinda hopeful for Friday's date, kinda sure he's going to cancel or blow me off.
What was I thinking?

Looking for l o v e

Wow. Time really does fly, especially in the summer time.

I'm back to having some troubles sleeping.  I don't know why really.  I think it is affecting my ability to put finger to keyboard and write something for you.

Let's see - what's new.

I may or may not have misbehaved quite a bit last weekend.  Oh, I may have.  But, you know some things should just be left alone.

So

I'm kind of on the market.  I guess.  As in, actively seeking a man.  Like a long term husbandy kind of man.  Sure, I may be crazy, but like I said, I'm not sleeping.

So

I rejoined this website I was on a few years ago.  Things are going......okish.  I've got one first meeting tonight, and I was excited about it.  But then I did some google stalking (as all smart women should do before a first meeting), and I have a suspicion that he might be married.  His profile says he's divorced.  I've asked Shannon to also stalk, and see if she comes up with the same conclusion.  Anyway - now the conundrum is not what do I wear, but how do I figure out if he is still married, without giving my stalking away?  Stay tuned.

I was supposed to have another first meeting tomorrow night.  I found myself having to talk myself in to going on that one, so I thought about it and decided to cancel.  Wanting to keep on the right side of karma, I sent as lovely and nice an email as I could.  I pretty much said that I was looking for a serious long term thing, and him being separated and not divorced did not put us on the same page.  Points to me for not mentioning that he is two inches shorter than me, unemployed, and waaaaay too schmoopy from the outset.  It was a win when I got a very nice response letting me know that he understood, and said if I change my mind, I can contact him.

I have another tentative first meeting scheduled for Friday.  Now THIS one I am pretty hopeful about.  Only a couple years older than me, very tall, very cute. We've had some nice online chats.  During a chat he said he'd like to take me out.  We settled on this Friday night for drinks.  I bite my fingernails in anticipation of the solidifying of the plans.  I really really hope this one happens.  I have a good feeling about him.  Of course, me being me, when he asked me if I wanted to go out, I said "Sure.  Are you married or a serial killer?"  His response was "Well, yes. I am a married serial killer who lives in my mom's basement"  My response? "Perfect."  See, he can roll.

So, here's hoping something awesome this way comes.  I'm ready, I think, to let go of all of the misbehaving go nowhere things, and maybe be a grownup.  Or at least, a lady.

Yeah, I can't read that last sentence without laughing either.

I guess maybe I am.....

People often like to tell me that I am the busiest person they know.
Like I don't already know that.
Because I am one of the busiest people in the universe.

Part of that is because I have a job that I love that pays the bills, AND I have another job that I love that I do strictly out of love.

Last weekend was 75% about that job.  Friday and Sunday I had the honor of working the first ever Square Roots Festival in Lincoln Square.  Something something craft beers, something something local restaurants, something something wares and trinkets.....for me it was all about the music. 

Sunday, I worked the merch.  Ahem, for you non-musical folks, I looked after the artist merchandise.  I met many lovely people.

Friday night, I was stage manager for one of our outdoor stages (we had four stages total, that's how we roll at the OTSFM).  I had the pleasure of working with Garland Jeffries and his band, as well as the Hoyle Brothers. 

Here's a picture of Garland and his band, from my vantage point:

The other 25% of my weekend? Rocking the F out at Mayhem Fest with two of my awesome friends.  There was Anthrax, there was Motorhead, and there was SLAYER.  We left before Slipknot.  

So, I guess it's true - I am busier than anyone I know, but I am having one hell of a kick ass time.....