Sunday, March 21, 2010

By Request

At brunch with Laura this morning: L: "So, as a follower of your blog. I have to ask something." V: eyebrows raised in inquiry. Fork slightly moved to indicate 'go ahead' L: "The post you keep saying you're going to write, and not writing.......write it." Far be it from me to let down the reader. SOOOOO A week or so ago, R and I decided to change our Relationship Status on teh facebook to In a Relationship. (or, relationSHIT, thanks Dane Cook, back when you were funny....) It was kind of a joke, barely a "thing". It was pretty late, we were drinking, we decided to make the change. We agreed that the actual relationshit would not change, at all, just taking a step more publicly. We laughed about it, then let TheBrother know that we had come to this "big" decision. A couple of days later, I made the change. Apparently, you cannot be in a relationshit with someone on teh facebook unless they confirm it. So for a day or two it just said Von is "in a relationshit" Oh my God, the backlash. Well, I call it backlash. 800 people "liked it" many many many people left a comment. My favorite? "Oh! Von! You make me so happy! I am so happy for you! You deserve all sorts of wonderful things! I'm practically crying I am so happy!!!!" this was from one of the J5 (refresher, the J5 are my step-siblings) I got PISSED. In my own comments I wrote "Thanks, but you all seem to be making a much bigger deal of all this than it actually is...." Then, another fb friend emailed me and said "yeah, I was wondering how you felt about that." I wrote her back that I was pissed. I am pissed!! First of all, it is so not a big deal. To make it a big deal would give R a wrong impression. One that I do not want to give, but have no control over. I cannot not have control over things with R. That would be bad. Second: WTF. Of the 745 people who "liked it", and the many many commentors, REALLY!?!?!? Why am I validated now that I am in a relationship? Did you really think I was a spinster? I've been jokingly calling myself one for a while now, but I was joking, people!!!! You may not understand it, but I love my life. I love every crazy, busy, active, exciting, snarky, second of it. Whether or not I have someone in it to share it with is pretty irrelevant to me. R gets to stick around because not only does he not resent my busy schedule, but he digs it, and is cool with it. He gets to stay because he compliments my life, not takes away from it. Also since teh f.b. status change, I've gotten more emails from the J5 and a few others with offers of things to do, invites, etc. C'mon, people. I am NOT stupid!! You don't want to see me, you want to meet R. You've done your f.b. stalking, you're curious, you aren't smart enough to just call me and ask about him, so you want to meet him. Well, you can wait. We aren't there yet. I don't know when we will be, but when we do, y'all are at the bottom of the list. We are not a side-show, our relationshit does not exist for your entertainment. See, you want to meet him, then you want to go off and talk about him, and me, and the us that is us. I'm not going to give you that pleasure. Not right now. I am me. Still me, always me.


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

And that's why I don't do facebook.

(In addition to being anti-social, etc.)

Poptart said...

you mean you're not gonna have all of your profile pictures be of you and him now? Aw, man! ;)

Wenchie said...

Is it maybe safe to assume that at least SOME of your commentors are happy, not because you're now "valid," but because they assume R makes you happy, and they like that you now have one more thing in your life that makes you happy, in addition to the many others...?

I'm just sayin'.

Von said...

Was I unhappy before, Wenchie? If I was I wasn't aware of it.

Von said...

And, no, Pop, there will be none, as I have NEVER had a picture of myself as my profile picture anyway. And, it would be weird to have just him, wouldn't it? Weird and creepy.

Von said...

Thunda - I'm starting to thing FB is a bad idea all around. Especially today, when all of the spineless wimps are opining, nay, waxing poetic on the healthcare bill.
It's facebook people, grow the f*ck up.

Jennifer said...

Von- as you often say, "It's just f***ing Facebook!"

You could put up that you went to the bathroom this morning and get the same number of "likes" and comments. :)

Von said...

Ok, well that's true.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

yeah. Look how many people liked my comment about ripping my toe off.

Tomorrow? A report on my morning poop.

Von said...

Please. Please report on the morning poop.
As long as it's not healthcare reform poop related!

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

the Morning Poop.

Will be a new intertron sensation, like Sleep Talking Man.

I could see people casting wagers.

Shannon Erin said...

I can see being annoyed by people seemingly making a big deal about your status change especially given the newness of the status. However, to paraphrase Wenchie, people were glad to see that you have yet another happy thing in your life not necessarily that you weren't happy before. That being said, the J5 person's comment was WAY over the top. As is to be expected from said person.

You can remove the status update change marker that is on your FB page or any other change marker. If I change things on my status, and I don't want people to pay much attention to it, I delete it immediately. It would be nice if we didn't have to police our own profiles, but that's the price we pay for participating in social media. One of the prices that I'm not sure I'm going to be up for much longer.

I, for one, haven't bugged you about meeting R because I figure that'll happen if/when you're comfortable with it. I think you're awesome whether or not you have a R in your life. XOXO

Adorable Girlfriend said...

I think Shannon sums up most of my thoughts.


Someone who probably clicked 'Like'.

Brando said...

Yet another reason why their should be a STFU button next to Facebook comments.

When TLB and I first got on teh Facebook, she had our marriage status, but thought it was kind of silly to have it listed, so she changed it. Of course, the update went out, "TLB is no longer married to Brando" and people fucking FREAKED OUT. It was funny but also nuts because of how quickly so many people wrote OMFG-style comments or sent messages.

Shannon Erin said...

"Yet another reason why their should be a STFU button next to Facebook comments."

This would be awesome and dangerous.

Von said...

I think we should campaign for a STFU button.
I'll just start commenting STFU.
I can think of a few people who are going to get those today.
Brando - crazy story. People are so insanely addicted to teh FB, it's unbelievable.