I'd been tossing around the idea of bringing this monster back. Who still reads blogs? Who would read/find/care about this one?
Then, 2/4/14 happened. To me.
I got laid off in a national news mass layoff from the place I thought I was going to retire from.
Now, I need an outlet. Somewhere to throw things, and rant and rave. Apparently, the gainfully employed really don't give a shit about their unemployed friends. I don't mean to offend, it's not my intent. I'm just getting the feeling that some of my friends are tired of hearing about my troubles.
And, if I have to hear "You'll find something way better soon! You'll see!", I might punch a bitch.
I've been working full time for over 20 years. College was not my thing, and I jumped into the working world early. I was 19 when I got my first full time job. Each job I got after that was easy to get. When I was ready, or needed a change, I looked for a job and took whichever one best met my needs at the time. I have never been fired, downsized, laid off until this year.
I'm such a good worker bee that I am still friends with people from every job I have had. Every. Single. One.
When I finally had the stones to leave a job I loved, but was stagnating in, after 10 years, I jumped for joy when I got the job of my dreams - in advertising, for an amazing and popular major publishing company. Sure, the industry is going in the tank, but I was confident that I was working for the first, best and likely will be the last one standing.
The older (and wiser?) I've gotten, I've learned to really appreciate what I had. I'm single, no kids, no man, my work was what defined me. If I was awesome at work, I was awesome.
Every night that I prayed, I thanked God for the job that I loved. I was grateful to be there, and I asked God to let me continue to be there, or at least let me leave on my terms. Aside from some awful, sub-human "co-workers" (to be fully explained in future posts), I was so very happy and never complained. I had great hours, amazing benefits. I admired my boss, respected my superiors, and genuinely cared for my team mates. I could not have been in a better place. My whole life was perfect.
For the first time in my working life - I was so very confident that I was safe for this round of layoffs. I was so busy! I was so involved! I was well liked! I was totally necessary!
I will never again be cocky or feel safe, and that's a sucky way to live, but I'm just being honest. My confidence is shattered, my mood is numb at best and super scary dark when I can't control it.
Hence, the rebirth of VFN.
I think that every post I write will be about this current sucky phase in my life. Because if I don't get it out of my head, I'm worried ....... well, I'll just say I'm worried.
Totally not a cry for help - my family is so close to locking me up in a padded room. They keep an eye on me waaaay more than I think is necessary.
I know this is a ramble, and I do apologize. I am pretty rusty, and hope to have better structured posts in the near future.
Thanks for reading. V