God Bless Summer Fridays

No post you say? Expectations you say? I was going to give myself the day off after winning the pretigious MenD award, but fine. Ask and you shall receive.

Here's what I'm doing right now:

Because my man (Lou P!!!) is on my t.v. It's the Crosstown Classic. Series 1. Game 1 bitches. What else would I be doing at 2pm on a Friday afternoon?

And I think I just might paint my nails.

Yes, this pictures is just for the ladies. A salon you say? Oh, no grasshopper. This cabinet of OPI, Essie, Orly, Ulta fantasticness is in my house. Where mere humans keep stuff like aspirin and condoms, I keep about 50 + bottles of nailpolish. In some ways I am such a girl.

F*CK

Double play White Sux. End of the second inning tied at one.

Time to crack another beer.

I freakin' love summer Fridays.

Go Cubs Go.

Eh.

I am beginning to become one of those women who doesn't like other women. My teenage years into my twenties, I had pretty even numbers of male and female friends. I still have lots of female friends. I am just starting to not be able to stand other women. Stranger Danger women. Like the other night when Shannon and I went to the movies. I knew that given the movie we were seeing the theatre was bound to be full of women. I had hoped they'd be normal grown-up behaving women. Not the up-talking dipshits that called out what would happen next, or turn to their friend and say "Oh my God! Did you see that?!?!" Of course they did. They are sitting right next to you. Most of the 27th floor people that make me throw up in my mouth are women. Hate them. Yesterday I was feeling a little cranky, so decided to get a slice of pizza for lunch. I was in line and had two evil little bitches behind me. Again, up-talkers. Do they teach this bad habit in college now-a-days? Anyway, the silly little up-talkers were loudly discussing how the one had slammed some dude. She peppered the end of every sentence with "DoyaknowwhatImean?" Forcing her friend to acknowledge. "yeah" "um-hm""OhmyGod". They went on and on and on about this dude and his Facebook friends. It was all I could do not to trip them on my way out. Then, there's Curves. Aarrgh. Now, I love Curves. But, mine closed, and now I have to go to this other stupid one. I'm done being nice to these dumb bitches. A) They are mostly easily 20 years older than me B) I played nice and made pals with the ones at my old Curves, then they close it, so I'm just not going to bother at this one. Anyway. I have to see some of the same stupid women every time I go in there. They give me that half smile, then try to make eye contact. They shouldn't bother, I've got the avoidance thing down. But, there's this one lady and she just annoys the f*ck out of me. She really goes there to get her chatty catty bitch on, not to actually exercise. Her voice is like nails on a chalkboard. She will do about 1/2 of a machine and then start talking to the worker lady and sit there. Then, instead of doing the cardio station she'll stand there talking. She's also one of those women who, when she thinks she's said something smart or funny, she looks around to see if everyone else is reacting to her. I've just starting staring at her with a blatant look of disgust on my face. I'm trying to bait her into a confrontation. She stands there and complains how she's fat, and not getting anywhere, and I want to tell her all of the reasons why that is so. I have never been one of those women who says they don't like women, have more guy friends, blah, blah, blah. I think a lot of those chicks do that to try to show others that they are cool and edgy. Um, not so much. I'm also not saying that I will never make new female friends. The criteria has just changed. Like, NO up-talking. See, if you do that, it's not just that I will never be your friend, because I won't, but I might also staple your mouth shut.

Really Great Weekend.

Finally!! I had a great weekend. No sleep, like, at all, but a great weekend. Friday night I went to Pirate Wench's house. She has a movie night about once a month. I've never been able to make it before, so Friday was my first time. I got there right on time, and it ended up being me, PW, and three of her very funny friends. We had warmed brie with cherry chutney, quiche, veggies and good conversation. We went downstairs to start our fantastic film of the evening - "High School Musical". The things these chicks were saying!! I was laughing so much and so hard, I could barely catch my breath! About half way through the movie, PW said "Time for dessert" Um, what?? We paused the movie and PW brought us all Ho-Ho ice cream. You heard me - smooshed up ho-hos, frozen in vanilla ice cream, with hot fudge sauce. I wanted to stay there forever. The women were awesome, and I had a great time. I did make the mistake of laughing at my own jokes at least twice. I blame laughing so much the entire evening. I came home fairly early, and my sister and her husband were sitting in the yard. I went to join them for a while. It was all nice, and warm, and the chandelier and the white lights were all on, it was awesome. Saturday I had to be up at the ass-crack of dawn to pick up Siobhan to take her to VonParents' neighborhood garage sale. It's pretty cool. The entire neighborhood has garage sales on this one weekend every year. I think there was 48 houses this year. We ended up with a large group going around together. I'm super pissed that I didn't see my ex pull up and go into his parents' house. Laura saw him, but didn't tell me until it was too late. Damn it. Damn her. After a few hours and some bucks spent, I took Siobhan home. Saturday night Shannon and I went to see Sex and the City. Good movie, evil stupid crowd. Shannon didn't hear a lot of the mumblings around us, but there were a couple of gaggles of stupid chicks who talked a lot during the movie. I was complaining to Shannon about it afterwards, and she said "I didn't hear that, but I did hear to tell some people to shut up." Yeah, I did. I didn't pay good $$ for some dumb bitches to run commentary, and predict what happens next. Dude - It's Sex and the City, it ain't rocket science. Anyway, I really liked the movie, more that I thought I would. The only thing was I felt Jennifer Hudson's charecter was completely unnecessary. I like her, but I just feel she didn't really need to be there. After the movie we walked over to one of my favorite bars, one that we had frequented a lot not too long ago. We had *ahem* a few beers and good conversation. There were a couple of our famous other-people-turn-and-look laughes. Our friend Tim was working a private party upstairs at the bar, and he joined us a little after one. Then, there was some more beer, and some Jameson.......well, then I remember the bar closed around 2:30, and Shannon and I left aroudn 4:00 (it's good to know the guys that work there....) It was perfect. It was exactly what I needed. 5 hours of sleep later it was time to celebrate Father's Day. Great weekend, to the point where I don't even mind how tired I am.

Happy Father's Day (early)

Most of the time, I use this blog to bitch, vent, amuse. Today, shaking it up just a bit. Today I want to write about someone I am grateful for. This past Monday was my dad's birthday. He's 68 now. This year, I will be half his age. This will be the only time in our lives that this will happen. I am so incredibly grateful for my dad. Something most of you do not know. My dad is technically not my father. Not biologically. He's my step-dad, but to me, he's dad, father, everything. My dad is a master pool player. He runs a league or two, and is always being asked to play with other people. He even took the time to teach me how to play properly, so I wouldn't make an ass out of myself at the pool hall. My dad is father to seven incredibly different children. Each and every one of us will tell you that we are dad's favorite, and believe that with our whole heart. He's that good at making each one of us feel special. My dad is an engineer. Early in his life he wanted to be a teacher. Life took him in a different direction. He is smart, creative, and always learning. A typical dinner while we were growing up would involve dad saying "look it up in the dictionary", and we did, in the middle of dinner. He took pride in everything we learned, and I think he learned from us and still does. My dad is a jokester. During my pre-teen years VonSis and I were watching the horribly bad horror movie "The Stepfather". Unbeknownst to us, dad had caught a few scenes and was amused by the premise of the murderous step-father. During a really quiet, dark part of the movie dad came up behind us with a chainsaw and yelled "What are you two doing!?!?!?" It scared the shit out of us. He thought it was hilarious. He still does. Tell that story and he will grin and chuckle. He knows 400 jokes, and can deadpan a punchline like no one I know. My friends love my dad. They think he's cool. I realize that they are right. There's not a party or bbq that I throw that I don't invite my parents. My dad has opinions. Strong ones I'm sure. But he's raised us in the 'whatever doesn't kill ya makes you stronger' way. Every decision I make on my own. He supports and praises the good ones, and is there to pick me up and brush the dust off me after the not so good ones. He raised us and sent us on our way, to find our own path - even when that path is up-hill and covered in brambles. I don't remember exactly when I realized that my dad sees me as an adult. I'm tearing up just thinking about when I saw that our relationship had shifted. We have real and actual conversations. We debate sometimes. He will smile, yet defend his opinion. Even though he doesn't agree with mine, he's smiling because I have one, and it's well formed. We talk about the Cubs. Just last night he was working on a crossword puzzle. VonMom said "Ask Von, she knows a lot of things." Dad didn't at first, but then "What's this? What's that?" and I knew the answers. It was a small moment, but I was so happy because he asked me, confident that I 'know things'. My dad is one of my most favorite people. I keep trying to impress him, even though I know he needs no convincing that I'm pretty awesome. I think he knows he raised me right. Out of his seven kids, I'm the only one who smoked. When I quit, he was so proud. He still tells me how proud he is of that. It's a great motivator to stay quit. I'm also the only one with tattoos. I was terrified to show him them. I remember right after I got my first one (which I was hiding), a friend of mine got one and my dad found out. He said "NO child of mine living under my roof will ever have a tattoo!" while I was sitting there hiding my own still oozing first tattoo. When I finally showed him, he shrugged. He looked at one and said "I really like that one! That's cool!" Now, every time he sees it he says "Oh yeah, I like that one!" I was the problem child, I still might be. But I know he loves me. He tells me that he does, and he shows me that he does. I know deep down that he has always been my father, and I also happen to know that I am his favorite. :)

Looking for a new place?

Public Service Announcement: (ok, VonSis asked me to put this out there) Looking for a FANTASTIC apartment in Chicago? How does 11 foot ceilings sound? What about a private yard with deck? Two bedroom apartment will be available 8/1/08. Free heat. Free Wireless. Free laundry. (yeah, you heard me) Open floor plan, lots of room. Oh, and the best dog on earth lives in the building, you can borrow him. Did I mention I live in the building? Close to Jefferson Park (metra/cta) and expressways. Rent very reasonable. NO joke. Comment me if you're interested. Pass it on.

More people I don't like

I have a little bit of bad karma going on right now. I don't know why, I really don't. I just know that karma has been biting me in the ass during my work day more often than not. See, there's these people. They work on the 27th Floor of my building. Hence, I call them the 27th Floor people. Sometimes, they are also called the 12-year olds. The 27s are all about, well, 12 years old. The women are all blonde up-talkers, the boys are just that, boys. They say really lame things, and see-saw between sounding gay, and sounding fratish. It's gotten to the point where I just know them by sight. Plenty of mornings one of them gets on the elevator, and I just want to hit '27' for them, I am so sure I know where they are going. These people annoy the fack out of me. They also travel in packs. The other day I had another run in will a gaggle of them. I was bringing my lunch back to my office. I was waiting with 2 normal grown-up people, and 2 27s. One male, one female. They each had a large box from Jimmy John's. Whatever. We all continued to wait for the elevator. Then, out of NOWHERE arrived 6 more of them!! The girls were all 'Oh! What is that? What's in the boxes?' Ok, like they even ever eat food. They're all like a size 1.5, bleh. The girl with the box said 'Oh, you know, sammies (who SAYS that?!?), chips, and pickles' The others weren't really listening, probably distracted by something shiny, gave her a blank stare. One of them said 'Pickles?' At which point (I couldn't help it, at all) under my breath I said 'and pickles, and pickles, and pickles....' (OK, big Dane Cook before he went totally lame reference. Seriously funny shit) and I kinda laughed to myself. Now, they are even more afraid of me. The elevator comes. Are the boys decent, and let those of us who were waiting l o n g e r just have the elevator? Oh, noes. We ALL get on the same stupid elevator. One of the 27s said 'Oh, isn't this cozy? tee hee?' I said 'Yeah, Um, NO' nice and loud. We couldn't get to 27 fast enough. Me, I'm past 27. Hate them. Now, every time I'm on the elevator, there's at least one of them. I'm perfecting my 'don't even look at me' glare. Karma. I was able to avoid them most of the time for almost a year. Now, every time. I'm telling you - karma.

The Answers to the Questions

I am a little disappointed. I thought for sure these would get a few more guesses. I'd like to do a name that tune post about once a month, please let me know your thoughts, whether you all would like to try try again. Here are Friday's answers:

1. Second Hand News - Fleetwood Mac
2. Smoke on the Water - Deep Purple
3. Me & Bobby McGee - Janis Joplin
4. Diamonds and Pearls - Prince & the New Power Generation
5. Atomic Dog - George Clinton and the Parliment Funkadelic
6. Hot, Hot, Hot - The Cure
7. Tripping Billies - Dave Matthews Band
8. Champagne High - Sister Hazel
9. One - Metallica
10. The Right Stuff - New Kids on the Block (tee-hee)
11. All I Want - Toad the Wet Sprocket
12. Southern Cross - Crosby, Stills, and Nash
13. Peaches - The Presidents (y'all guessed this one)
14. Crazy Bitch - Buck Cherry (SERIOUSLY give it a listen, it's my favorite driving around/blasting the radio song. Very Shocking)
15. Chains of Love - Erasure
16. The Fields of Athenry - Irish folk song. don't know who sings it
17. Down - 311
18. The Tide is High - Blondie
19. Use your Love - The Outfield
20. Kiss Me Deadly - Lita Ford

Because they weren't all guessed, no valuable prizes. Maybe next time....if there is a next time. I sound ominous. I like ominous. This is what happens when I have no sleep.