Wednesday, June 18, 2008
I am beginning to become one of those women who doesn't like other women. My teenage years into my twenties, I had pretty even numbers of male and female friends. I still have lots of female friends. I am just starting to not be able to stand other women. Stranger Danger women. Like the other night when Shannon and I went to the movies. I knew that given the movie we were seeing the theatre was bound to be full of women. I had hoped they'd be normal grown-up behaving women. Not the up-talking dipshits that called out what would happen next, or turn to their friend and say "Oh my God! Did you see that?!?!" Of course they did. They are sitting right next to you. Most of the 27th floor people that make me throw up in my mouth are women. Hate them. Yesterday I was feeling a little cranky, so decided to get a slice of pizza for lunch. I was in line and had two evil little bitches behind me. Again, up-talkers. Do they teach this bad habit in college now-a-days? Anyway, the silly little up-talkers were loudly discussing how the one had slammed some dude. She peppered the end of every sentence with "DoyaknowwhatImean?" Forcing her friend to acknowledge. "yeah" "um-hm""OhmyGod". They went on and on and on about this dude and his Facebook friends. It was all I could do not to trip them on my way out. Then, there's Curves. Aarrgh. Now, I love Curves. But, mine closed, and now I have to go to this other stupid one. I'm done being nice to these dumb bitches. A) They are mostly easily 20 years older than me B) I played nice and made pals with the ones at my old Curves, then they close it, so I'm just not going to bother at this one. Anyway. I have to see some of the same stupid women every time I go in there. They give me that half smile, then try to make eye contact. They shouldn't bother, I've got the avoidance thing down. But, there's this one lady and she just annoys the f*ck out of me. She really goes there to get her chatty catty bitch on, not to actually exercise. Her voice is like nails on a chalkboard. She will do about 1/2 of a machine and then start talking to the worker lady and sit there. Then, instead of doing the cardio station she'll stand there talking. She's also one of those women who, when she thinks she's said something smart or funny, she looks around to see if everyone else is reacting to her. I've just starting staring at her with a blatant look of disgust on my face. I'm trying to bait her into a confrontation. She stands there and complains how she's fat, and not getting anywhere, and I want to tell her all of the reasons why that is so. I have never been one of those women who says they don't like women, have more guy friends, blah, blah, blah. I think a lot of those chicks do that to try to show others that they are cool and edgy. Um, not so much. I'm also not saying that I will never make new female friends. The criteria has just changed. Like, NO up-talking. See, if you do that, it's not just that I will never be your friend, because I won't, but I might also staple your mouth shut.