People do the strangest things

In an OMG the Apocalypse can't come soon enough file: Today I was in line at Panera. There was a long line, so I was very close to the revolving door. For some random unknown reason some dumb chick decided to go counter-clockwise* through the revolving door. Hm. Um, no little push bar should have been a tip off. This in itself was not the big deal. The big deal was the 7 OTHER PEOPLE WHO THEN ALSO WENT THROUGH THE REVOLVING DOOR COUNTER-CLOCKWISE. Seriously?!?! WTF!?!?! Again, there is no push bar, and the door is squeaking in revolt. Are we really that sheep-like? Like 'I know this is wrong, but the six people before me did it, so even though it feels strangely unnatural, I'm just going to do this.' Equally scary? When I did my little smirk/chortle/head-shake, only one other person acknowledged that this was highly unusual behavior!!! In other strange news: A small group of my "peers" (yes, in quotes, I use it very loosely!!) elected me to a board of directors. Ahem. A Board of Directors. At one of Chicago's German Cultural Centers. Yep, get up off the floor. Sometimes people think of me as a grown up. That's not to say I didn't giggle like a school girl, steeple my fingers, and say "Excellent" when my name was read as a new member of the Board of.....you get the picture. If you read my comments much, you may have read that tomorrow is my birthday. This is true. Comments** make lovely gifts. :) * Correction!! Dumb chick went counter-counter clockwise, meaning the opposite of normal!! Thanks, Zombie, for pointing that out! ** Posts also make fantastic gifts!! Thanks again MenD!!

Whoops

I remember why I've been avoiding the Tuesday night poker game. There's this thing on Wednesdays that gets in the way. It's called work. I need a cheeseburger. Stat. And a pillow. And maybe some tylenol. *poker wasn't the only culprit. Stopping by the bar on my way home for 'one' might have contributed. That, and the two I had when I got home because I was mid-second wind.* And, oh yeah, I lost. Quickly.

Plenty of something

Yeah, so, I'm trying the internet dating thing. Ugh. It's time consuming. And annoying. And sometimes boring. And a whole lot of other things. Here's who I'm dealing with right now: S - AKA: SouthSideTruckMechanic HouseInUPGuy. He's a front runner. Funny conversations, decent amount of normal texts . Cute, not too cute. Has a job. And a car. Does not appear to have any chronic medical conditions*. B - AKA: BoyScoutLeaderButThat'sOKBecauseIFinditStrangelyEndearing. He has no last name. Meh on looks, high-ish voice. No job, but going back to college. Might be living with mother, but as a caretaker for her. A couple of decent conversations, a few IM chats. Does not text, but I'm learning to work around this. A - AKA: CreepyBuddistLivesWithMother. NO LONGER IN THE RUNNING. He blew it pretty darn quick. Way too many creepy texts about kissing me, giving me hickies (he's 40 for Pete's sake!). Straw that Nearly broke the back: "Happy Sweetest day to my super sweetie!" I ignored this one. Straw that DID break the back: "Good Morning baby" My response: "I don't like to be called baby, especially by someone I don't know. Game over. Good luck. Best advice: Never contact me again" A2 - AKA: ChristianALOTChristianbutWhattheHELL. Also no last name. We're emailing. Things aren't looking good. He says tattoos are a sin. We're debating that. Debate via email = "getting to know each other". V - AKA: AlienNumeroUno. He likes me. He likes me muy. Not going to happen, but haven't written the sayonara email just yet. Grainy pictures lead me to believe he might be cute. Besides, they don't always have to talk. K - AKA: MightbeaSerialKiller ButWhattheHellHeHasAJob. He's kinda fallen off the radar, but he's only mildly creepy and he has a job, seemingly a good one. M - AKA: ZOMGHesAPilot. Just started emailing him. Upside to him being a pilot - I might get to hang on to some of my precious alone time. Downside - he probably has a wife in Texas. I saw that Lifetime movie, I'm no dummy. Those are about it for now. Don't worry, I'll keep you updated. Plus, if anyone wants to send me a birthday gift (ie: one good man), I'm not against it. Stay tuned!! *deal breaker. This does not make me a bitch. This is baggage I carry that will probably never go away.

Hi there.

Two things. One, I heard "If you dont' know me by now" by Simply Red while I was driving home from school last night. Not only did I belt it out - fairly well, not going to lie - but I gots to wondering. What every happened to Simply Red? I mean, I think that dude has a good voice. I googled them. I wikied them. They "plan on breaking up" in 2010. WTF? Do they not know I am having a renaissance with them? Secondly. Internet dating is hard. And time consuming. And annoying. And frustrating. And a little bit scary. Oh, yes, my interfriendz, I DO plan on elaborating on that topic for your amusement. Let's just say there are a couple of guys in the running for my affection. Yes, they all have nick names so that I can keep them straight while amusing you all. So, consider that a teaser. A preview, if you will. Now, back to the grindz.

Weekend in pictures

My weekend, in pictures.

Friday night:

Some of the best pizza I have EVER had. Burt's Place in Morton Grove, as seen on No Reservation with Anthony Bourdain. It was delicious. The company was fantastic, as usual. With my tricycle of awesome counterparts (Shannon and TheMarty) we had great conversation, much laughter, a little bit of snark. It was a great evening.

Saturday:

Fall Fest at North Park Village. Believe it or not those pictures were taken inside the city limits of Chicago. Family time. Nothing horrible to report, so I guess that's good.

Saturday night:

Dinner with Laura and then off to see "Paranormal Activity" with Laura, SD, and JP. Ok, not going to lie, that movie scared the shit out of me. I will admit that I screamed the entire final three minutes of the movie. I also slunk way down in my chair and covered my face with my jacket more than a few time. The movie was fantastic, the scariest I've seen in years. The pain picture you see I took while we were driving home. It was a Sherwin Williams store, but from the angle we were to the store the neon said Pain and I thought that was interesting.

Sunday:

Book club. Our book club's name is Not Your Momma's Book Club. We're a fun mix of chicks. We have our meetings in bars, drink good beers (sometimes wines), eat carbs, chat, get snarky. Oh, yeah, sometimes we also talk about books.

Even though I had very little down time, and no time to finish my homework, paint my nails or watch my Netflix, it was a pretty perfect weekend.

Way TMI

Dear Ladies (who also use the 23rd floor bathroom), I think we need to clear up some misconceptions here. Get your heads on straight. Because, quite honestly, you all and your nasty is killing me. Some points to ponder:

• I don't care who told you what - your shit does stink
• On that note, "courtesy flush". If you don't know what that is, for the love of God, google it
• The Oust is there. Right there, where you're looking, USE IT
• Is there a good reason you shake your hands ALL OVER the floor before you reach the paper towel dispenser?
• I know you - yes, YOU - don't wash your hands all that often. That's just wrong on so many levels
• I probably will not tell you if you have spinach in your teeth. I don't like you, you don't bother to talk to me at any other point ever, plus I think it's funny
• If you happen to be the person who broke the toilet (it won't stop flushing ever) just call JP. How hard is it?
• I don't really like to talk when I'm doing my business, so please, don't ask me about my weekend, my day, the weather while I'm in the stall
• When you spray perfume all over like a teenager using Axe for the first time we all suffer. And there is no circulation in that bathroom. I don't like Happy, or Gio, or Glow, I don't want to wear/taste/have it permeate my person

Thanks very much,

A fed-up co-user of said facilities.

Yes please. Come to momma

Please tell me I'm not the only person on God's green Earth watching "Sons of Anarchy?" So much to love/salivate over/quote/covet about this show!!! First of all - the theme song: "the Dream we left behind" by Pedestrian. If you haven't heard this song, please go listen to it. It's classic rockyish awesomeness. Secondly - Charlie Hunnam (who plays Jax) OMFG - Hot. I'm completely indifferent to how old he is in real life or how old his character is, I'm going cougar on that ass. That fine fine fine ass. And ladies? Yes, there is at least one scene I know of that there's a nice shot of said ass. (Season two, episode one. You're welcome) Not to mention Katey Segal as his mother and Ron Perlman as his really bad step-father. Katey Katey Katey. I would absolutely not want to meet her in a dark alley! Her character, Gemma, is the baddest of bad ass mothers (or should that be mothas?) I've ever seen on t.v. She could kick my ass in a second, shoot me with one of the three guns she carries, and not break a sweat or displace a single awesomely highlighted hair on her head. Ron Perlman - sure, you're thinking Beast, or Hellboy, I was too. But once you catch sight of him being a supreme bad ass and having *ahem* relations with more than a few MC hangers on you'll know him as Clay - President of SAMCRO. SAMCRO - for those who don't know (and why don't you know!?) is Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club Redwood Original. The bikers are all awesome. It's kind of like watching the seven dwarfs - on some really bad crack. I also should mention a couple of other guys who are on the show these days. The current "bad guys" or worse guys I guess, are Adam Arkin and Henry Rollins. Yes, THAT Henry Rollins. Ooops. I have to go wipe the saliva off my keyboard. Take this as a public service announcement! GO watch "Sons of Anarchy" on FX. It's on Tuesdays at 9pm my time. You won't be disappointed. You can thank me by buying me my very own SAMCRO sweatshirt. A must have on every Christmas wish list this year!