Monday, October 19, 2009

Plenty of something

Yeah, so, I'm trying the internet dating thing. Ugh. It's time consuming. And annoying. And sometimes boring. And a whole lot of other things. Here's who I'm dealing with right now: S - AKA: SouthSideTruckMechanic HouseInUPGuy. He's a front runner. Funny conversations, decent amount of normal texts . Cute, not too cute. Has a job. And a car. Does not appear to have any chronic medical conditions*. B - AKA: BoyScoutLeaderButThat'sOKBecauseIFinditStrangelyEndearing. He has no last name. Meh on looks, high-ish voice. No job, but going back to college. Might be living with mother, but as a caretaker for her. A couple of decent conversations, a few IM chats. Does not text, but I'm learning to work around this. A - AKA: CreepyBuddistLivesWithMother. NO LONGER IN THE RUNNING. He blew it pretty darn quick. Way too many creepy texts about kissing me, giving me hickies (he's 40 for Pete's sake!). Straw that Nearly broke the back: "Happy Sweetest day to my super sweetie!" I ignored this one. Straw that DID break the back: "Good Morning baby" My response: "I don't like to be called baby, especially by someone I don't know. Game over. Good luck. Best advice: Never contact me again" A2 - AKA: ChristianALOTChristianbutWhattheHELL. Also no last name. We're emailing. Things aren't looking good. He says tattoos are a sin. We're debating that. Debate via email = "getting to know each other". V - AKA: AlienNumeroUno. He likes me. He likes me muy. Not going to happen, but haven't written the sayonara email just yet. Grainy pictures lead me to believe he might be cute. Besides, they don't always have to talk. K - AKA: MightbeaSerialKiller ButWhattheHellHeHasAJob. He's kinda fallen off the radar, but he's only mildly creepy and he has a job, seemingly a good one. M - AKA: ZOMGHesAPilot. Just started emailing him. Upside to him being a pilot - I might get to hang on to some of my precious alone time. Downside - he probably has a wife in Texas. I saw that Lifetime movie, I'm no dummy. Those are about it for now. Don't worry, I'll keep you updated. Plus, if anyone wants to send me a birthday gift (ie: one good man), I'm not against it. Stay tuned!! *deal breaker. This does not make me a bitch. This is baggage I carry that will probably never go away.

12 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

K - AKA: MightbeaSerialKiller ButWhattheHellHeHasAJob. He's kinda fallen off the radar, but he's only mildly creepy and he has a job, seemingly a good one.

And here BG is worrying about alarm signs in German Village.
~

onepretentiousbastard said...

Whenever you want independent confirmation of possible serial killers, let me know. I know people who can investigate that kinda thing.

Also, forget anyone who says that your method of pre-screening--no chronic conditions--makes you a bitch.

fish said...

You are a brave, brave person (baby?).

Von said...

Fish - LOL. I will forgive you that. There are different rules for bloggerz....

fish said...

Irony allows for gross transgressions.

Jennifer said...

I agree with fish and was going to say the same thing! You're brave!!! May the force be with you! And, thanks for sharing. :)

Shannon Erin said...

This made me laugh. Alot. The AKA's are my favorite part.

Good luck!

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

This is one of the scariest things I have read on the Internet.

I, however, will not call you baby. I've inadvertently offended enough people lately

Poptart said...

I love it! I'm with fish - you are being brave! Get 'em Von!

Thanks for spilling, so fun to read.

blue girl said...

Von, this post is hysterical! The "AKA's" are the best part!!

Although online dating seems like it would be kind of fun to me, I have a single friend who says it's horrible. She had me in tears one night, telling me about a guy she had met and decided to meet at this one bar.

When she got there and they "met" she knew right away she was not interested. He was way shorter than her and a major body builder and had a ton of tattoos that she could see cuz he was wearing on of those sleeveless t-shirts. Nice date attire! He proceeded to get very drunk and at one point ran up on this stage and did karaoke. Dancing around, being all dramatic. Acting like a complete jackass. LOLOLOL!! Maybe you have to know my friend, but she is such a snob that I was DYING when she was telling me that.

Another guy was a total whacko -- and when she didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore, he would constantly email her photos of himself hugging his computer monitor while a photo of her face was HUGE on the screen.

Now THAT's scary. So, even though some things can be funny -- be careful, Von!

And good luck to you!!!!!

blue girl said...

Also...forgot to add that Karaoke Man also was very fond of wearing MULTIPLE GOLD CHAINS WITH LARGE MEDALLIONS HANGING FROM THEM. lol

Von said...

BG - No~!! NO no no!!! I'm laughing my butt right out of my chair. But it's that nervous it could happen to me laugh!!
I'm trying to get as much info via emails/texts/phone calls as possible before I meet them. I have two that I am ready to meet, I think, but it hasn't happened yet.