Friday, October 9, 2009

Way TMI

Dear Ladies (who also use the 23rd floor bathroom), I think we need to clear up some misconceptions here. Get your heads on straight. Because, quite honestly, you all and your nasty is killing me. Some points to ponder:
  • I don't care who told you what - your shit does stink
  • On that note, "courtesy flush". If you don't know what that is, for the love of God, google it
  • The Oust is there. Right there, where you're looking, USE IT
  • Is there a good reason you shake your hands ALL OVER the floor before you reach the paper towel dispenser?
  • I know you - yes, YOU - don't wash your hands all that often. That's just wrong on so many levels
  • I probably will not tell you if you have spinach in your teeth. I don't like you, you don't bother to talk to me at any other point ever, plus I think it's funny
  • If you happen to be the person who broke the toilet (it won't stop flushing ever) just call JP. How hard is it?
  • I don't really like to talk when I'm doing my business, so please, don't ask me about my weekend, my day, the weather while I'm in the stall
  • When you spray perfume all over like a teenager using Axe for the first time we all suffer. And there is no circulation in that bathroom. I don't like Happy, or Gio, or Glow, I don't want to wear/taste/have it permeate my person

Thanks very much,

A fed-up co-user of said facilities.

7 comments:

fish said...

I don't really like to talk when I'm doing my business, so please, don't ask me about my weekend, my day, the weather while I'm in the stall

This is a totally female derangement.

Mendacious D said...

Yeah, guys do it at the urinals instead. So much more civilized.

Jennifer said...

I'm sorry, but unless it's a freakin' emergency... certain tasks are done in the privacy of the home, without a newspaper. If you need a newspaper, you're not ready!

Yes, men and women are different. The woman Von is speaking of is obviously a mutant... or a man who needed a stall.

Poptart said...

Seriously, even one of these issues would drive me crazy (we have a bathroom talker at the ranch, she is in there 10 times a day so we kind of can't miss her). I don't know how you stand it. Is there a secret bathroom you can start using, or only the one?

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Lolz!

P.S. Fish use stalls?
~

jaknobbe said...

Can I just say in my bathroom at work it's chunks of weave. Ladies, if a chunk of your gd weave falls out could you PLEASE just pick it up and throw it in the trash? It's actually become a joke with my work friends "Geez, did you see that chunk today? Is someone walking around bald?"

Von said...

Oh noez, Jess - that is TERRIBLE.
I think we work with some very weird people.