Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Wherein I feel the need to share everything with y'all
well, ALMOST everything.
The backstory.
There's a mouse. In the house. Well, in the commune in which I live. A mouse who poops little tiny poops that announce his existance.
Poops that were not seen, or brushed off as "not mouse poops" until:
One day last month, VonSis went up to her place one evening.
EEEEEEEEEEEE (or so I'm told. again, I didn't her my sister's screams. Bad sister, I am)
***my cell phone rings*****
"Didn't you hear me screaming!?!?"
"Um. Nope."
"I was screaming for like five minutes!!!!!"
"Ok. Why were you screaming?"
"There was a mouse on my kitchen table!!"
BLEH!!!
BrotherInLaw/LandOverlord lays out poison. Many many lovely blue pellets of poison.
Weeks pass.
More weeks pass.
-Last night-
I happened to go up to VonSis's house for a quick visit after work. BrotherInLaw is home, and the three of us discuss the mouse.
Where is the mouse?
Why isn't it dead yet?
What if it's dead somewhere bad?
Now, onto the tale I feel I must tell.
This morning.
This is the text VonSis and BrotherInLaw/LandOverlord received. From me. At 6:30 am.
"OH MY GOD!!! DEAD MOUSE!!! MY BEDROOM!! WHY CAN'T YOU HEAR ME SCREAMING! I DEMAND IMMEDIATE REMOVAL!! ZOMFG!!!!!"
silence
nothing
No running of feet over head to save poor poor me.
6:34 am
*my cell phone rings*
I'm confused. It's VonSis's work number.
"Hello?"
"Yeah, so I'm at work."
"WHERE IS YOUR HUSBAND!?!?!?"
"He's on his way to Kansas, or Missouri, wherever."
"But there's a mouse. In.my.bedroom."
"Where is it?"
"By the hole in the wall, go figure. It's dead."
"You sure?"
"I've been staring at it for like five minutes. It's dead."
VonSis promised dead mouse removal upon her return home tonight. I will not be entering my bedroom until the thing is gone.
7:05am
**my cell phone rings**
"Hello?"
"HAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAA. You have a dead mouse in your bedroom!!! Hahahahaha."
"Um, brother-in-law? You suck as a LandOverlord."
"HAHAHAHAHA. At least we know where it is now!! Right?!?"
"I hate you. It's in my room. IN MY ROOM."
click
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5 comments:
It could have died in your shoe. My brother once found one in the toe of his boot. He found it with his foot... as he was putting on the shoe... wondering why his foot wouldn't go all the way in... :)
Your brother-in-lord is LULZ
I had a neighbor in college who would smash "waterbugs" with a cinderblock, then get all squeamish when it came time to remove the remains. I was the "bug guy", so I did the honors. I'd ink a bug on the block for every kill- as if she were a dogfight ace.
thanks for reminding me.
Now that spring is springing, teh two carnivores that share our house will inevitably slaughter several of these things, and apparently i am not only designated spider squisher, but Rodent Sacrifice Removal.
I can't believe you won't remove a dead mouse by yourself. You are a BADASS. VonSis is a SALLY. What's wrong with this picture?
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