Wednesday, July 7, 2010

The thinning....

No, not my body, much to VonMom's very vocal and unpleasant disappointment. The thinning of the hair happens tonight. And I can't wait. Here's the thing. I've got H A I R. Not super long, not even very thick, it's just a LOT of hair. I keep it well, it's my very best asset. It's blonde (expensively and falsely so) with rock n' roll dark brown (also falsely so) underneath (this is a recent change). It's longish - a little past my shoulders these days. It's wavy enough that people comment on it, and in these humid days, more so than not. AND IT'S FREAKIN' HOT See, I'm like a dog. No kidding - I have so much hair that my head can't breathe and I sometimes get sores. On.my.head. So, every summer my hairdresser thins the hell out of it. It's an ugly, ugly process. She takes thinning shears to my scalp and just cuts and cuts and cuts. It's kinda funny, in that the first few weeks if you were so inclined you could have me flip my head over and from the neck to about half way up you could see little lines of crew cut. There is a horrible crunching sound as she cuts and cuts and cuts, followed by masses and masses of hair falling all around me on the floor. This process has even gotten unsolicited comments from other salon goers. One woman actually yelled at me. She said "What are you doing?! Are you insane!? People would kill for hair like yours!" Ever since that cobag incident, we now do this at the last appointment of the day, when we are pretty much the only people left in the shop. This needs no audience. When I was younger, we used to have to wash our hair in a laundry tub. One summer, I told my parents that the water temperature actually went up between when it hits my head and when it rinses out. VonDad didn't believe me, so he followed me into the laundry room when I washed my hair. I had him feel the water as it came out of the hosething, and then feel it after it had run over my head. "Holy shit." he said, "There really is a difference." This is how hot my head gets. So, don't mind me as I count down the hours and minutes until thinning time.

5 comments:

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

You should shave it all off- works for me!

*ducks thrown cutlery*

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I've got my hair cut fairly short these days (err, decade). But it is still ridiculously hot!
~

Mendacious D said...

When I lived in a more tropical locale I used to need my hair cut every couple of months. It was probably the heat.

One of the hairdressers had a pet turtle she kept in her sink while she worked. Those suckers can move when they want to.

Von said...

Y'all are the best.
B4 - good thing you ducked.....

Hell said...

I have the same problem. When I go to get my hair cut, my hair dresser doesn't even use scissors. She uses thinning shears and a razor.