Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Fun with words

When VonMom and I are getting along, I can fully admit, she is FUNNY. Sure, it's a little oddball funny, but funny nonetheless. I know VonSis and I wit-spar, improving our own brand of funny, but the genesis is truly my mother. A text exchange between VonMom and VonSis. VM: Knut is dead VS: Yes, we were kinda keeping that from you VM: You buy me tshirts with dead things on them, and expect me to wear them. VS: I will buy you a tshirt with X and Y (two people that are the bane of VonSis' and kinda my existance) on it. VM: I like the way you think. Evil. Her humor is evil. A text I received from VonMom, yesterday: I got a new Cooling light! Yay! I call her on the phone, after 20 minutes of trying to figure out what a cooling light is. Something for her indoor plants? Some sort of kitchen appliance? A fridge bulb replacement? I had no clue. VM: What? V: Um, so yeah, what is a Cooling light? VM: ? V: cooling light, as in your text, I got a new cooling light today yay!? VM: hahahahahahahaaaaa I'm so funny! hahahahahaaaaa V:? VM: Cooking Light! The magazine! I got a new one today. V: Oh. *chuckle* VM: hahahahahaaa V: ha ha ha ha ...... VM: Ok bye. Also, being the children of an English-as-a-second-language, things come out that we cannot pronounce. I have always known mine: The words: Bull, bowl, pull, pole hurt me to say. Like physical pain in the back of my throat. So I just do not say them. Ever. I know my limits. VonSis is a little different. Her unsayables keep popping up like spring flowers - something new all the time. Her first (and best) is Sonoma - as in Williams Sonoma. So NO ma. Or, as VonSis says, sinimaaa. I like to buy her things from there and then ask where I got it. Good fun for me. This weekend, I told VonSis that I had learned the tab/bass line to "Sugar Pie Honey Bunch". She said "Oh, so you are a real muzzishhhhhan." I stared. VonSis cannot pronounce Musician. At all. She tried and tried again. Not to happen. Her brain has also decided that Knut (may his cute little polar butt rest in animal heaven) is a panda bear. Why, yes, I do find random shit like this funny. I do I do I do. Now, put the bull in a bowl and shove that pole up the........

13 comments:

fish said...

muzzishhhhhan

Maybe she meant meshuga.

WV: unded

Sorry, wrong blogger.

fish said...

Or maybe Meshuggah.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Or, as VonSis says, sinimaaa.

Maybe she's buying cookware at the local movie theater.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

May Knut join Paul the Octopus over the Rainbow Bridge.
~

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Also, being the children of an English-as-a-second-language, things come out that we cannot pronounce.

I mispronounce quite common words: urticate, salpinx, bordereau.

The words: Bull, bowl, pull, pole hurt me to say.

Not being able to pronounce "Bull" and "Pole" must make living in Chicago difficult.

Kathleen said...

what bbbb said

Smut Clyde said...

I mispronounce quite common words: urticate, salpinx, bordereau.

As long as you use the correct plurals, I will not complain.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

As long as you use the correct plurals, I will not complain.

Salpinces?

Do trumpet-playing crabs have salpincers?

Von said...

AHAHAHAHAAAAA
You all are killing me today.
Yes, I do say "The Chicago Basketball Team" every time, without hesitation. My locals are used to it.

Smut Clyde said...

Salpinges. Harrumph.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

wait, I thought Paul was dead.

Another Kiwi said...

My Mum's humour
Mum: we're going to go to europe for a couple of months holiday
Me: That it so cool, you'll have a great time.
Mum: We had to remortgage the house, but we think we'll be dead before it could cause a problem.
Me:Oh well you've worked it out with S-i-L who is a bank person, I think it's a cool thing.
Mum: It's your heritage AK. we're spending your heritage.

They had a great time

Von said...

AK - I think our moms would totally be friends.