One reason the lamblets are awesome....

This is what greeted me when I got to their house on Saturday.

How the hell do you draw a V on an etch-a-sketch?

People are teh awesome

I have to admit here to you all that I'm more than a little gleeful after the big meet and greet at Jennifer's house last night. The rumors are true, I did indeed make Grizzled spit beer once or twice, was charmed and delighted by the lamblets, and have a big ole girl crush on Jennifer herself. I may or may not have overstayed my welcome (it was a 5 + hour "come over for dinner" visit), but I was trying to figure out how to add one awesome dog and one adorable lamblet to the contents of my purse - I was just going to borrow them, I would have returned them eventually - so I might have been stalling. All joking aside. It's a wonderful thing when you meet someone (or in this case a bunch of someones) that you feel like you've known forever, and wish you have known forever. The laughs, snark, beer, chatter, and all around good time was effortless and endless. I see this as the beginning of a beautiful friendship. And You all know you're jealous.

An interesting step

Last Friday, either R or I (I honestly do not remember who) brought up teh Facebook. It was mentioned how we are not "friends" on there, and should maybe be. Both then admitted to having private pages that cannot be easily found. R said that he would send a friend request. Forgot about it, more or less for a few days. Wednesday night R texts that he will un-private his page so I can friend him. 'Why am I friending him?! He should be friending me, grumble grumble' Oh, that's right, this way my page stays private. Aha. The next day I friended him. This got me to thinking. Out of the gate, I had to go pick apart my profile, make sure things looked "presentable". Then I looked at my relationship status. Removed it. Added it back. Removed it. Added it back. Told myself: 'You are acting like an idiot. Are you single? Yes? Then f*ck it. You're thinking too much about this.' So I left it up. Single. Whatever. His page says the same thing, and I'm glad it does. I forced myself to stop thinking so much about it. If he digs around on my fb page, so be it. I pride myself on being who I am at all times - in life, here on my blog, on teh fb, always. So what he sees is what is there. Shouldn't be any surprises. So, is this a "step"? Not sure, really. Just mulling it over a little. He is the first person I've dated that I've been fb friends with. Again, all things had better stay nice and calm and laid back, or I am likely to bolt. The other thing I thought about is this: I will not, not now, likely not ever, tell any man I'm seeing about vonfornow. If hell should freeze over at some point and I have a wedding ring on my finger (and not a second before) only then would I tell the person that gave me that ring about it. It's mine. All mine. I am me here, but a little dialed up (to 11) and a smidge more snarky than I am likely to be in general. I truly do feel the things that I write about, but my filter is way more down on here than elsewhere. I learned a loooong time ago that not everyone has a thick skin, so therefore complete and utter honesty (in my brutal fashion) is not always the best route. So instead, I lay it all out here. For y'all. Because you know you want it. R knows that I comment on some blogs (I had to explain why I was going to "some stranger's house" on Saturday for dinner), but that's all. Tonight's date: Going to his apartment for dinner, beer, and The Meeting of the Brother. I'm a little off kilter about this, because the brother is the #1 person in R's life, so his opinion could have a lot of weight. The one thing I keep reminding myself is TheBrother is 25, and likely I could chew him up and spit him out. for those keeping track, this is the fifth date Have a great weekend. At the very least, tonight could provide me with some good snark I can throw your way.

You can't handle the snark

You want snark? Snark is what you'll get. Wedding snark, that is.

• I sat near the back of the church for two reasons. 1. With the groom pretending to be all Catholic and all, acting like a virgin, I didn't want to get hit by the flying debris when the lightning struck. 2. the priest presiding was the priest that interupted my first kiss by shouting "Whore! Whore! Whore!" and pointing his saintly finger in my face. Thanks, Fr. Cronin, you asshole. And thanks, Rico, for having Fr. Cronin perform your wedding mass and not giving me the heads up, you asshole.
• The bride chose not to have flowers because they allegedly wilt faster in the cold weather. Instead, she opted for feather dusters. Small black feather dusters for the bridesmaids, and a gigantic white feather duster ball for herself. Mmm.hmm. Ok.
• They danced to "At Last" for their first dance. 1. Trite, everyone does it, sigh, ho hum. 2. At Last what? Someone got him to settle down? At Last what people?
• Rico was smart enough to seat my ex's wife at a different table. Karma being what she is and the bitch ended up at my table. At the opposite end from me, but facing me. If looks could kill, both ways, it would have been ugly. Like her. **giggle** I had at least four people ask me what she was doing at my table. That's right, people, at least you know who is queen.
• I drunkenly shucked the strawberry that was hanging out on the edge of my champagne glass on the floor. (It was in my way). Laura slipped and fell two hours later. When asked on Monday if the floor was wet or something, she said "Remember that strawberry?" I had to giggle a little.
• When walking to the bar to get a drink (my 12th or 13th vodka/tonic/lime, I believe), ex grabbed my arm and asked "Are you hitting on B?" - this was in the middle of the dance floor - I yanked my arm back and spat back "What.is.it.to.you?!?!?!" loudly. NO no no, you do not get to ask that question.
• Being asked the above question made me consider hitting on B. However, by that point, remaining upright was slightly more important.
• I might have asked someone who's getting divorced if I can have my $$ back, since he hasn't even been married for 2 years, and I think that warrants a refund.
• I may or may not have told my friend's mother that while three of her children I adore, the other three are evil.
• I may or may not have looked at my friend during the meal, looked around the room, and said "But, it's just sooooo Italian."
• When I walked up the the head table after dinner to say hi to the happy couple, the bride introduced me to her maid of honor. I tried to be all grown up and polite, "Nice toast, lovely dress, blah blah blah." The bride said "Why weren't you at the bachlorette party?!? I had a dick for you.....this bitch is hard core." Nothing but class!
• The CD that was given as a favor sucks. I mean, it has "At Last" on it. I may use it as a coaster.

And also with you

I will review the wedding, later on. Right now, I want to write about the Mass. The wedding had a full Catholic Mass, of course, seeing as the groom went to Quigley Prep Seminary School. *side note: I did musicals at Quigley during high school, which is where I met this entire group of friends. Not ONE of them became a priest. And people wonder why Quigley closed down* Anyway, as I was raised properly, of course I went to the wedding Mass, as it's the ceremony that matters most, more than the party, right? So, we're at Mass. When I wasn't busy cackling and being evil critiquing the whole affair, I did pay some attention to the Mass itself. As mentioned the other day, I don't really go to Mass. I was an altar server in junior high, we were the first class that allowed girls to do that, so it was a pretty big deal. I worked regular Mass, Novenas, stations of the cross, funerals, weddings. I KNOW the Mass. I mean I know it. That's something you don't forget. The part I forgot I loved, and still love is the sign of peace. I mean, break it down "Peace be with you" "And also with you" "Peace.be.with.you" hug, kiss, shake hands with people you don't know. You are wishing someone Peace in their life, and accepting their wish for peace in yours. I know that I could use a LOT more peace in my life. Peace is not only of religion, but it's all encompassing. Bad day at work? Wish for peace and quiet. Bad argument with family? Work towards keeping the peace. Peace. The word itself is calming for me. I do need more peace. Peace in my family life, peace in my relationships, peace in my day to day. To have some of my best friends, the people who know me the best and love me anyway hug me and wish me Peace, that made the whole going to Mass thing worthwhile. That being said: Peace be with you. Each and every one of you. enough niceness. more snark to follow.

It's Friday, I'm (not!) in Love.....

NO, I have not had Dunkin Donuts. NO I have not purchased a breakfast item. NO I AM NOT LOVING MY NEW OATMEAL FUELED WEEKDAY MORNINGS. 38 days to go. Ahem. Tonight is Date #4. pick your God Damned mouths up off the floor. geesh We're going for dinner at the same little Irish place where we went for drinks on our first date. spare me the "awwws" he just wants to try the food there I had a little chat with Jesus. Jesus says I can eat meat for dinner tonight, if I want, in celebration of my fourth date with the same person! Jesus loves me for giving dude with a few strikes against me another chance. And another. And another......you get the idea. Tomorrow I'm going to a wedding. I don't give them very long. I'm thinking. 3.5 years. NO I AM NOT AN EVIL ANTI-MARRIAGE BITCH What I am is realistic. And I know the groom really well. So, I don't really know the bride, but that's because I know enough about the groom to not invest in any woman in his life. He's that friend. The one who shouldn't get married. Ever. I am excited about the wedding because I get to see my largest group of friends, all together in one place. I don't spend as much time as I'd like with this group anymore, so seeing them will be good. Plus, it's one wedding down. Four to go. Yes, this year. Yes, I'm that person this year. Sigh. I just dropped a cheeto in my bra. This is a fact. I'm also checking to see if you're paying attention. Sunday will be errand running, chore doing, then off to John and Toni's for some good food and better conversation. Probably conversation about their wedding. Which is in September. Which I'm campaigning to be in. And it's in Vegas.

Giving up

Yes, I still give things up for Lent. Yes, I also still try to remember to not eat meat on Fridays during Lent. I could give a shit if you do or don't follow Lenten traditions. At best, I am a lapsed Catholic. I don't really believe in going to Mass, and I am wholly against going on High Holy Days and pretending that's good enough. VonMom, I'm looking at you. BUT I am someone's Godmother. Someone old enough to ask what I'm giving up for Lent. She's one of the most important people in my life, so for her I *gulp* try to set a good Catholic example. SO This year? It's going to be a tough one people! I'm giving up Dunkin Doughnuts and everything they sell (good bye, bagel!) for the duration of Lent - C'mon Easter! Get here soon! I'm also giving up buying breakfast during the week. So, if it's not oatmeal or yogurt brought from home, I can't have it. Both of these are going to be big sacrifices. HUGE! But, ultimately, it'll be good for my diet and good for my wallet. But trust me, I will feel that loss! One day down, 39 to go.