Friday, February 26, 2010
An interesting step
Last Friday, either R or I (I honestly do not remember who) brought up teh Facebook. It was mentioned how we are not "friends" on there, and should maybe be. Both then admitted to having private pages that cannot be easily found. R said that he would send a friend request. Forgot about it, more or less for a few days. Wednesday night R texts that he will un-private his page so I can friend him. 'Why am I friending him?! He should be friending me, grumble grumble' Oh, that's right, this way my page stays private. Aha. The next day I friended him. This got me to thinking. Out of the gate, I had to go pick apart my profile, make sure things looked "presentable". Then I looked at my relationship status. Removed it. Added it back. Removed it. Added it back. Told myself: 'You are acting like an idiot. Are you single? Yes? Then f*ck it. You're thinking too much about this.' So I left it up. Single. Whatever. His page says the same thing, and I'm glad it does. I forced myself to stop thinking so much about it. If he digs around on my fb page, so be it. I pride myself on being who I am at all times - in life, here on my blog, on teh fb, always. So what he sees is what is there. Shouldn't be any surprises. So, is this a "step"? Not sure, really. Just mulling it over a little. He is the first person I've dated that I've been fb friends with. Again, all things had better stay nice and calm and laid back, or I am likely to bolt. The other thing I thought about is this: I will not, not now, likely not ever, tell any man I'm seeing about vonfornow. If hell should freeze over at some point and I have a wedding ring on my finger (and not a second before) only then would I tell the person that gave me that ring about it. It's mine. All mine. I am me here, but a little dialed up (to 11) and a smidge more snarky than I am likely to be in general. I truly do feel the things that I write about, but my filter is way more down on here than elsewhere. I learned a loooong time ago that not everyone has a thick skin, so therefore complete and utter honesty (in my brutal fashion) is not always the best route. So instead, I lay it all out here. For y'all. Because you know you want it. R knows that I comment on some blogs (I had to explain why I was going to "some stranger's house" on Saturday for dinner), but that's all. Tonight's date: Going to his apartment for dinner, beer, and The Meeting of the Brother. I'm a little off kilter about this, because the brother is the #1 person in R's life, so his opinion could have a lot of weight. The one thing I keep reminding myself is TheBrother is 25, and likely I could chew him up and spit him out. for those keeping track, this is the fifth date Have a great weekend. At the very least, tonight could provide me with some good snark I can throw your way.