Shamless

I met the most, let me clarify THE MOST important person in my gigantic company today. He shook my hand. I "nicetomeetyou"d it was pretty awesome. Ahem. I tell you this because I am sitting here, at my desk at work way way way overdressed. I'm talking black dress, sweater, tights, real shoes, necklace, watch and earrings. Full face of makeup. Hair managed. On a Friday. I didn't do this for the big guy (solely). I did this out of my mad time management skillz. Tonight immediately following work I have an event for the Germans that keep me on their Board. I sometimes use this space to record (for me, not really for you) what I'm doing when I'm super busy. Sooo I'm going to do that for this weekend: Tonight: Lincoln Square Chamber of Commerce Holiday Dinner Tomorrow: Knee doc (really hope I'm coming to the end of these visits), guitar class, meet friends to go to Navy Pier for dinner and "HP 7 part 1" at IMAX. Sunday: Book Club at 4:00. John's band show at 8:00. I'm a little on the fence about that, but it's a Double Door show, which is huge. Also, I haven't seen the band in a while, so I'll likely go. This schedule is why I had a list of eight things to do at home last night. A list that I added to, and got through except for one item. I rock. I hope your weekend is fantastic, and maybe a little more restful than mine. Unless you are one of the two trolls that I'm sure are lurking. I hope your weekend sucks as much as you do. I'm sure it will, since you are morons with nothing of substance or value to do.

A warning

Keep an eye out for trolls.

Hating the Holiday Haters

Say that ten times fast. I'm back, and angry as ever. Today's topic? The Holiday Lite. Aka WLIT, aka 93.9 on your Chicago radio dial. VonSis and I have (generally) vastly different musical tastes. Except when it comes to one thing. Christmas music. Specifically, when 93.9 WLIT "turns on the Holiday Lite" and switches over to 24/7 Christmas music. In recent years, the lucky day has been November 1st. Not so this year. So, every day from 11/1 onward, there's me and VonSis each checking 93.9 every time we got in our cars to check. Awww. Nothing. Friday night, I'm in Michigan with Shannon, drinking some beers, playing some games. I get a phone call from VonSis. There's things and stuff going on at home that compel me to answer the call. "Hello?" "IT'S ON!!" "What?" "The Holiday Lite! It's on!!!" So, since yesterday I've been listening to nothing but Christmas songs. For me, it's not truly the Season until I hear "Do They Know It's Christmas". It's a long sappy story, but that's my Season kick off song. Yes, I have Noelly tunes on at work. Right. Now. People can mock, bitch, piss and moan on teh FB as much as they want. Um....turn the damn channel, bitches. Yesterday, I was driving home from some errands, and was sitting at a red light. Well, "Last Christmas" by George Michael was on, so I started rocking out with my bad self in my car. Swaying, yell/singing, the whole nine. Across from me two women started mocking me. I gave them the double finger. Don't mock when I've got my Holiday Rock Out going on. I may be festive, but I will still cut you. ho ho hooooooo

I am a total asshole

I don't always think about things before I vent them all here. One of the things I don't think about is who is reading my blog. I will just say that I added to the sadnesses of someone who doesn't deserve that. I'm so so so sorry. I'm really not the heartless bitch that I put out here. I'm taking the rest of the week off. I need at least that.

Politics

Y'all know I don't go there, like ever. But, what the living hell is Wisconsin doing, electing a former member of the Real World cast? And, what the flying frig is Illinois doing!?!?!? One step forward 9 bagillion steps back. I feel really queasy about the as-yet-undecided Governor's race. Let me remind you - the one guy HATES WOMEN, LOVES THE GLASS CEILING AND LOVES PRO-LIFE SOOOOO MUCH THAT THE MOST RADICAL PRO-LIFE GROUPS BACK HIM. He could win. He could represent me out there in the wider world. I'm totally going to get my EU passport. Like now. Y'all can come visit me when you need asylum. And now I'm finished talking about politics. Gives me a bigger headache than the returns did last night.

A Hallmark moment

You know what I dig more than birthday gifts? The cards that come with the gifts. The things that say what people want to say, and yet don't say. We're supposed to be all cool calm and collected all the time. In my world, we are also supposed to be bitchy and on the offense more often than not. So This year, in honor of my softer side, the one that used to love writing cards and letters, I'm starting a new tradition. I bought a card for someone else. I bought it on my birthday, and will be giving it to her next time I see her. The card itself is humorous, but I intend to write in it what an awesome, delightful, grounded, normal, fun and important part of my life she's been over the past year, and that I hope she'll be in my life a long time. I'm excited to do this every year, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. I will admit, I do also love the shiny and colorful balloons that come with cards and gifts, and the cards that are hand made and huge and have a tall boy PRB attached to them.

Can't stand.

I was going to write a warm/fuzzy about you all, and my birthday and gratitude and all that. But, it'll have to wait. So Some dumb bitch named MAURA KELLY (I capitalize to remember, because I have to remember) over at Marie Claire wrote an "article". Not sure if it would be called an article, or an op/ed piece. To me, it's just crap. She wrote about her abject horror at the show "Mike and Molly", which, in her opinion, is a show about morbidly obese people doing things. Um. She actually says she cannot watch the show, because she can't see morbidly obese people not only making out, but doing anything. She did admit to having some "plump" friends, so that makes her NOT A SIZEIST. My guess? Her plump friends are about sizes 6 or 8. So, the normal people of the world rose up, and as we do now, wrote about a thousand (actual, not a made up number) comments - most calling for her to get fired etc. She printed an "apology". NOT AN APOLOGY when you say "yes, but" a bunch of times, and offer weight loss advice. You, MAURA KELLY, are not a registered nurse, or dietician, or um.....anything. We fatties are fat, NOT STUPID. The magazine itself - MARIE CLAIRE - has yet to issue an apology, or statement, or retraction, or whatever. HEY MARIE CLAIRE, YOU PUBLISHED THAT SHIT - YOU ARE EQUALLY CULPABLE. At the very least, they need to fire that ignorant, hateful bitch. At best, they need to give me her email/address/phone number. I would love to give her a piece of my fat mind, and then break some fat fingers on her smug, skinny, likely fugly face. It's people like her that make my life about a million times more difficult than it needs to be. So, using my bloggy for something good here - I'm calling for a boycott of Marie Claire - until they print an apology and fire Maura Kelly.