Goodbye, Filter

I've resolved to not make any resolutions.
I can't remember the last time I did and I don't really care either way.
One thing I do need to do, and it's so not a resolution, is to stop writing with a filter.
.....I'll wait for you to pick yourself up of the floor and stop laughing.........

I dislike the fact that even when I ramble and shamble over here that I always have the nagging notion that this person or that person won't like what I write.  Or that this other person may have started reading, or that someone else will stop reading this.

Part of what bothers me so very much about this is that if you've ever met me - in person - then you know that I will always say what's on my mind.  Regardless of whether or not it's popular opinion. So, to not do that here is more than a little silly.

So, be afraid, be very afraid.  Ok, no that's not a threat, not really.  Because I also know that some of the people I'm concerned about would never ever confront me about something I wrote that they didn't like.

What can you expect to be different?
More snark.
Less fluff.
More bitch.

2012 Let's mess this place up.

Music, music and more music

I'm doing it again.
Writing a post, then deleting it. lather-rinse-repeat.

I don't really know what needs telling today.  So here's some music stuff:

• I hate Sheryl Crow. A lot. She's one of the main reasons for my dislike of female singers as a people. 
• That being said, there are a few female singers that I adore, damn near obsess over. TheMarty and Shannon's cousin Clare are fascinated by this. Every time I see them, they quiz me on female singers, seeing who "has it" and who does not.
• Who has it? Adele - she is the QUEEN of has it.  Others? Stevie Nicks, Natalie Merchant, Mary Chapin Carpenter, Janis Joplin, Sarah McLachlan, Sara Bareilles (but nothing by her that's played on the radio), Patty Smyth, Pink, Missy Higgins, Joss Stone, both Anne and Nancy Wilson.
• I'm not entirely sure what "It" is. Care to think on it?
• I posted lyrics from Hurt so Good yesterday on both teh FB and Twitter. No one got the reference or cared. Has John Cougar Mellencamp become obsolete?
• I start guitar class again a week from tomorrow.  I fully intend to do some practicin' between now and then. I intend to.
• I'm also considering learning to play bass. Because I think I would be an awesome bass player. And, there's only like four strings instead of six.
• I'm going to be hitting on John's bass player tomorrow - if I get him to kiss me, maybe he'll lend me one of his old bass's to learn on.
• I can't decide if I want an iPod touch (which I can get now) or an iPad (which will take some time to save up for). I'm really torn on this one.
• I had to turn down a ticket to the Megadeth/Motorhead show next month.  I'm trying to get serious about paying down my debts, and am trying to go out less. This means less concerts. This makes me sad.
• I have a friend who's a real and true Opera singer. And he's amazing.  And I have every intention of going to see him perform soon.  And I think if you live nearby, you should see him too.
• I like Lifehouse.  I admit it. Sure, it's a dirty little secret, but I do. My favorite tunes are Storm and Everything.  If anyone every sang Everything to me, I'd be theirs forever timez.
• I also think 3 Doors Down is an entirely under-rated band.
• I think Anthax's Worship Music album is one of the completely best albums I've heard in a very very long time.
• My favorite favorite favorite song right now is Bridge Over Troubled Water. For some reason it makes me think happy thoughts about my dad. I'm even considering getting some of the lyrics tattooed on me. Sail on, Silver Girl.

Yikes

An interesting thing happened when I was off work these last ten days.
You think this is the lead in to a joke, but you'd be wrong.

I had four different friends, two male and two female, inform me that they are getting divorced.

I'm not going to go into other people's personal business too much here, I'm just finding the situations interesting, and the fact that these four people came to me is also interesting.

Now, the ladies both told me in person, and neither has filed for divorce, they were thinking about it. Each lady has a valid reason for thinking about this step - one a major trust issue, the other financial differences with her husband.  They told me in depth what they had been going through, asked my opinion (Yes! Ask the spinster all about marriage! j/k) and wanted to talk through it all.  We picked apart every "could mean" "might be" "have you/has he" possibility.  Each conversation was hours long, a little weepy, a little giggly.

The men. Sigh.
First dude sent me a drunken text at 1am on Christmas Day. He basically told me he was getting divorced and don't worry about him because he's out with friends even though it's Christmas and Merry Fucking Christmas and I know you are sad and I am sad too etc....
We played phone tag for a few days until I finally got to speak with him.  He told me the story, all dates and facts and concrete info.  The process has already begun.  They were discussing what to do with the house.  I told him I loved him, sent him a flask of very expensive Scotch (he lives in another state, so we can't drink together, at least he can drink well) and am keeping tabs on him.  Now, of course, his wife that I totally loved I totally now hate. I'm pretty clear on these kinds of things.

Second dude sent an email to a group of his long time friends.  He said that he and his wife are divorcing, and that he would like us to keep him in our thoughts.  I've tried to chat with him. He said emailing would be best, he also said he'd like to see me.  I offered up a few dates in the near future that would work for me.  He now responds that he's super busy with the divorce and finding a new place to live.  Of course, I understand.  I don't know the details on this situation yet, but he's also being very black and white.

The whole point to this post?  The fact that both ladies were all emotionally driven, and the dudes were facts and figures, even though all four of my friends are clearly hurting.  I'm not going to lie.  I find it a little odd that these people came to me (aforementioned spinster), yet I know I am a kick-ass friend, and I'm probably the person they should  turn to in this time of need.

I also know someone who should get divorced, and SOON. But that's a story for another day. Or when I'm drunk. Either way.

So, as much as I want/need/desire/require 2012 to be better for me, it's not looking so hot for some of my dear friends already.  I already know that I'll be heading out of town asap to visit my friend in the other state.  I already know that I'll be buying many fine beverages for my dear friend that is here, once he has time. 
I also know that either way they decide, the two ladies are going to need me too.

Why don't people follow my relationship lead?........Oh, never mind......

The last for 2011, I think **updated** I owed an ode

Making a decision to make this the last post for 2011.
Going to write all of my peeps little vonversions of Haiku.
Fuck the real rules, I'm just going 5 - 7 - 5
These are in place of the schmoopy things I originally wrote and then deleted.

Ahem

Saying Yes is boss
She is the most amazing
I am blessed with her

MenD, my buddy
My snarky partner in crime
Knowing you is grand

Zombie is my dear
Pumpkin who teaches me stuff
About music nice

Snag has snagria
A cut above all others
A friend to me now

Brando listens well
To my drunken stories swill
And yet, still my friend

BG is a saint
She hears my rant and my roar
And likes me anyway

K-Unit delight
Gives me many things to think
She is wicked smart

Mikey, Mikey, oh
Twitter chats with you are best
You know you matter

B4, before you
I was not so flirty, hm
Fun with you is FUN

Fish is not to blame
About the bad year I've had
Fish is Fish is Fish

Thunda, is there rain?
Not when I read your postings
Orbs and other things

Smut Clyde, you thrill me
I always learn something new
Eager for new words

Another Kiwi
A friend from far away - lucky
I know I am now

Mandos silent dude
Doesn't speak often lately
But sometimes, does so

Pinko, my pinko
Why no love for me at 3?
I like to comment

To those I don't like
A quick punch to your faces
Go away trolls, go


So, there you all go.  My commenters, my friends, my people, my heart.
Without you I am less than, and without you, this sucky blog would not exist.
See you in 2012.*


* Unless something really awesome happens, then I'll totally write about it!

Well, F that

I just wrote and deleted three different posts.  I didn't like my voice at all for them.  That doesn't really happen, so I'm feeling not good about trying for a fourth.
So, instead, here is the video of the song that Sister Hazel closed the show with on Friday.

For those of you not on teh FB, I need to let you know that after the show Friday night, I was genuinely, fully happy for the first time since I lost VonDad.  So, love or hate the band, they did wonders for me just doing what they do.  My favorite lyric of this song: Oh yeah, I might be crazy, that's not the same as insane. I know I'm scared, but that's not the same as being afraid.

Well, at least it's Friday

Wow. Kinda get the feeling that I can pretty much write a bunch of nonsense here, and some people will just comment about whatever the fuck.

So, here's some nonsense.

Tonight, I go see Sister Hazel go ahead and mock, they are my favorite band to see live. I love them.  I didn't get to see them at all in 2010, and I really missed them.  So tonight I go.  To House of Blues.  No point in heading home to just head back downtown, so I'll be hanging around downtown solo for quite a bit tonight. Might get interesting. 

Tomorrow night I go with VonMom and her two friends to the Songs of Good Cheer show at Old Town.  This is a huge deal because: a) This show was one of VonDad's favorite things to do. b) I have never been to Old Town as a concert goer. Never. I don't even think I'll know how to just be there.  I intend to be wasted anyway (see reason a)

Yesterday a little group of us from work - we are calling ourselves the South East Corner Group - went out for a little holiday lunch.  Mad props to Mercat a la Planxa, home to Iron Chef Jose Garces.  Informed of my food allergies, they were more than awesome to me, providing me with my own little plates of awesome when a dish contained something I could not have.  Amazing food, tasty sangria.  Your friend here had a little too much sangria, and now is subject to her fellow SECG people calling her Y-Von and Roxie.  I need to learn now to not tell some of my highly amusing yet very personal stories.

Went to the bank yesterday to cash in a savings bond of mine that we had found in VonDad's things.  Sure, the dude helping me was young, but I didn't think anything of it until he said:
"Wow! I've never seen one of these this OLD!"
Um....that was purchased for me when I was six months old. Fuck you, fuck your youth, and give me my fucking $131.57.  Thanks.

Next week I am only working Monday, Wednesday and Thursday (hopefully just a 1/2 day on Thursday) and am then off until 1/3.  I'm not entirely sure what kind of blogging I'll be doing in that time, part of the reason being that my internet connection at home is sketchy at best.  Besides, since the end of October all I do when I'm not at work is sleep anyway, so not too much to write about there.

Anywho - so those are my tidbits for today.
Now. go do what you all do, and write about completely unrelated things in my comments.

Random stuff

• VonSis and I decided to get VonMom a piece of "mom jewelry" for Christmas, a little special something to make her feel special on this first Christmas without VonDad.  I had the idea, I did the research, I found the necklace*.  Well, ok, there were three that I liked, and I let VonSis make the final call.  She picked my favorite, which has two charms -  one star, one moon. Each will be engraved with one of our names. VonSis? Of course, she picked the star.  It's cool though - I think the moon is more me anyway.
• Both VonSis and I realized that last night, the 14th of December, neither of us had even taken the plastic wrapping off of our chocolate advent calendars. Yep, neither of us is really feeling holidayish this year.
• I had dinner and drinks (ok, it was burgers and beers) with a friend last night. A friend, her husband, and their two kids.  Turns out, my friend needs me. Just for someone to listen, or hug, or for advice.  Time I climb out of my pity pit and help a sister out.  Because lord knows she's been there for me more than a time or two.  I'm happy to be needed instead of needy.
• I tried to use cheesy hair metal lyrics as my FB status updates this week. I'm ashamed to say it only lasted three days. Sigh. Ok, but please note, I was trying to use lyrics that fit in to my life. So, not just throwing up an "She's only 17....". But relevant. Or, as relevant as cheesy hair metal lyrics can be.
• I did use Dishwalla lyrics today, though not metal, they are the lyrics that are most like me, or so I've been told by more than a few dudes I know. They are: "You had the look like of an angel, it was such a bad disguise. When you drink it makes you angry, when I drink I want you more and more and more".  Good song, better lyrics. 
• Friday night is the much anticipated Sister Hazel show at the HOB.  Sure, I bought one ticket, and would have been totally fine going by myself.  BUT - it looks like I have at least two fine people meeting me there, so it will be an even more awesome time.  Sure, go ahead and mock, but I love love love Sister Hazel live, and I didn't get to see them once last year. I can't let anymore time go by without seeing them.  I need the mood lifter I know their shows give me.
• We're going to some fancy place tomorrow for holiday lunch. It's called Mercat a la Planxa. I was ho-hum about the decision to go there, I usually love our steak house holiday meals, but this place is owned by Iron Chef Jose Garces.  NOW I'm intrigued!! I'll have to report back on that.  We're also changing it up a bit, and going with some other people in the office, and not just LB1 and me.  There's seven of us going all together. Should be fun.
• Book club book is 1Q84 by Murakami.  I sadly had to put Dance with Dragons down again, as I'm obsessed with reading the book club book the second it's assigned to us.  Um, a w k w a r d - there's a whole lotta sexy times in this book.  Not that I can't talk about that kind of thing with book club, but, **shuffles feet** I'm not sure I can talk about that kind of thing with book club.  And I'm only about 60 pages in. 

*Etsy, bitches!! Shop small businesses this season !! yeah yeah yeah!!!