Monday, December 12, 2011

99 problems

I don't know why I've been on a streak bender tear writing about man troubles lately, but here is another story for your reading pleasure.

If you recall, I had a wicked crush on GermanClassDude for a very long time.  I had promised myself that should the occasion happen that one or both of us was no longer taking the class that I would ask him out.

A while ago (kinda too embarrassed to tell you just how long ago, so a while ago) it happened. He dropped the class, as did I, and I emailed him. We emailed back and forth for a bit, and I finally hit send on this email:
'well, let me know if you want to hang out sometime!'

And I received no response.

I was bummed, then I was pissed.  I could not believe that this "nice guy" was not so nice, and I went out on a limb and .......righteous indignation etc.....

And I told my best gal pals all about it.

And then they dropped the bombs on me - one right after the other:
Apparently, my email was VAGUE and could be discounted and misinterpreted etc etc etc.

Time would pass, and I would see GermanClassDude around with his cute bald head and walking his cute little dog.....and I would seethe and ignore him.  Sure, on the occasions that he saw me, he'd wave, and I'd kinda pretend to not see him and just keep on driving......

Gal pals decided recently to bring up this whole debacle.  And they harangued me. And pestered me. Ok, maybe they just suggested nicely that I get to the bottom of this. Were they right? Was I vague? I am never vague!! Or was I right? He wasn't interested, and was not nice guy enough to just say it......

Then last night happened.  I was a little tipsy with a combination of Champagne, beer, and sugar cookies, and I went online to see who was around.
And there he was.


Typy type type

So, I need to ask you a question!

And then I proceeded to go there.
I said blah blah
He said email? refresh my memory!
I did.
Then I asked the question - vague? or not interested?
and I waited
and I opened another beer
and I waited

Ah, yes, I remember this email.
It was, without a doubt VAGUE

Oh? Ok, well sorry to bother you blah blah blah (in my brain? Why the fuck did I even bring this up! He must think I'm insane! Because clearly, I am insane!)

His response:
There's something to the not interested too - I was dating a different woman at that time. But I should have responded, either way.

No no no!! Bluster back pedal (wtf am I doing!! crazyVon! crazy!)

Him: I'm sorry, though. I wasn't sure if you wanted to "hang out" or "go out"
in for a pound, in for a penny!!!
Me: Well, I wanted to hang out to see if we should maybe go out.....

Him: Oh. Yeah, still it was vague.
Me: And I'm guessing you're not single now....
Him: Nope
Me: Friends?
Him: Sounds good.

At least I have a story to amuse you.  And I'm guessing he now has a story to amuse his friends and co-workers, so there's that.

And now I know the deal.

But, really, ME?!?! VAGUE!?!??

Happy Monday


Jennifer said...

LOL! No, vague is not what comes to mind when I think of Von... I've seen people leave the room with singed eyebrows due to Von's laser directness...

However, I would have to agree, that email did sound vague... :)

Onward, Von!! There's a world of champagne/sugar cookie-fueled bad decisions to make! Some of which will be fun! And.. might even turn into a good decisions!

I sense 2112 will be an exhausting year for the Vonstang... exhausting in a good way.

Von said...


zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I sense 2112 will be

Most awesome typo, Geddy Jennifer! Rock on!

...I dunno, Von, I thought you were pretty vague at Tundra's the other day....yeah. Vague is the word I'm going with here.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Von said...

Because your scanner sprayed on copious quantities of Axe body spray for men?

SEE? Totally vogue, I mean vague.

/helpful thundra, the guy who helps

Jennifer said...


A habit of mine... adding "stang" to the end of names. I'm surprised I haven't said it in person.

I can't remember when it started, or where it totally came from, but it's not a bad thing, it's good... like a crazy, wild mustang. Getting down with your inner mustang. :)

Jennifer said...

LOL @ the typo! And boo-hiss at the Geddy connection! :)

Von does not have to wait until 2112 (I must have been channeling thundrastang's palindromic tendancies).


fish said...



Von said...

Oh, Z, like HELL I was vague over there. I was borderline bitch, because I had to be.
I'm tired of that crap.
Not full on bitch, mind you, but that's in reserve, and ready if need be.
Thunder - hearts.
J - LOLz

Jennifer said...

FUCK!!! What damn year is it going to be?!?!


Is that it?

I'm tired... can anyone tell?

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Oh, Z, like HELL I was vague over there. I was borderline bitch, because I had to be.

Yeah. I think it's safer if I stay with 'vague'.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Vague Von. Von the Vague.

2112: Year of the Equivocal!

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Oh hell, I probably just started another fight.

Jennifer said...

You're on a roll, ZRM!! But fortunately, due to your generously peppered smileys, I am not one of them. :)

Also, I thought you typed 2112: Year of Esquivel. I chose that song in honor of your wintry blog.

Jennifer said...

This one is much better though... and lends itself to an afternoon dance-a-thon.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I was a little tipsy with a combination of Champagne, beer, and sugar cookies

That's awesome! Good thing you didn't go around tipping Christmas trees.

I have to admit that I am a big Esquivel fan. Space Age Bachelor Pad Music r00lz!

Jennifer said...

I love Esquivel. I can't listen and not get a smile on my face.

mikey said...

Here's the thing. In those conversations, everybody is scared and uncomfortable. There's fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of success. Your brain does silly shit and formulates words that could be interpreted a number of ways. That way, if they say HELL NO you say, dood, THAT wasn't what I meant. Cripes. So what actually happens is everybody slinks away and the nasty remains undone.

I was taught by the most fearless human being I ever met that you have to step up and say it straight out. He was a crazy little Mestizo Indian Ranger who loved to fight and he advocated the simple question "Would you like to go make love now?" I could never master that one, but the point is revealed in the extremity of the suggestion.

Be clear, put yourself out there, and live with the consequences. You really will find that, just as in major league baseball, a .250 average can be highly rewarding...

Mandos said...

Why doesn't thunder have his ~? I smell impostor again.

Mendacious D said...

Blogger is clearly anti-Tilde.

I am having a lot of trouble imagine Von as being vague, or even anything less than laser-guided.

Jennifer said...

Vague for Now

Kathleen said...

I HAVE ARRIVED. you go Von.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...


zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Jennifer's wins the bloggerhood though.

wv is dingoo, which is what you get when you put a dingo in an industrial mixer.