A quick follow up

Thanks, all of you, for the support. (I seem to keep thanking you all, for many things, but you all are awesome) A quick follow up: Ok, sure I am still charmingly chubby, but I'm cool with it. I have enough self-confidence for me, and for all of them. I have no pimples. I am no longer dishwater blonde, but expensively and expertly Blonde. I AM Irish enough. Not only do I immerse myself in all things Irish, but I also play and sing Irish music, and well. Tin whistle? Check. Bodhran? Check. - I doubt they even know what a bodhran is, or how to pronounce it. It took me a while, I'm embarrassed to admit, but my parents neighborhood is beautiful. Not only is their house gorgeous and huge, but their neighborhood is awesome and close knit. I wouldn't have wanted to grow up anywhere else. Keep your Sauganash and your Lincolnwood - Forest Glen suits me just fine. And Lauren had a great point. My trip to Boston was fantastic. There's nothing I would rather have been doing that weekend. My new Boston friends are genuine, and awesome, and good people. They make me laugh. Even though I have known them a short time, I hope to be friends with them and the people that introduced me to them for many years to come. Hm. I think I am starting to feel better about this......

I need a hug

I wish I could lie and say I was popular in grammar school. The truth of the matter is I wasn't. Not by a long shot. I was the chubby dishwater blonde girl with the pimples and the bad perms. I wasn't Irish enough. We didn't live in the right neighborhood. I coached basketball instead of played it. I got good grades, and stopped trying to impress the popular crowd by mid-7th grade. Could it be all of these reasons that I didn't get invited to my 20th reunion party? No, oh no dear readers. I'm not kidding. I wasn't invited. After I left the evils of QAS behind in the fall of 1988, I knew that I was destined for better and cooler things. I threw myself into activities. I lost a little weight. I discovered Medusa's. I also discovered that it's much more awesome to just be myself, than try to fit in. Strangely, when I did my own thing I made friends. Lots of them. All different types and shapes and sizes. My high school years were fantastic. My couple of college years were awesome too. Every year after that (and there have been a few) has been better and better. For the most part, I really like myself. I love that I do a lot of different things, and that I know a ton of people. VonMom likes to say that I am like my dad in that no matter where I go, I always run into someone I know. This is true. I know a lot of people. Friends, acquaintances, people I have volunteered with/gotten drunk with/made music with/learned with/lost with....these people are everywhere. I love people. - Ok. I really do. As long as they aren't lame annoying people. All of this is a direct result of who I was, the person I was beaten down to, when I left eighth grade. I left those people and they way they behaved way way behind me. True story: While at a party my freshman year at NEIU, I ran into one of the guys that tormented me the most in grammar school. I wasn't exactly sober. G looked at me, I gave him the finger. Drunk as I was, I knew exactly who he was. He finally figured out who I was. I ignored him as best I could, but the party wasn't that big. He kept being around. I was my usual self, trying to make people laugh, having a good time. A few days after the party I ran into G at school. He stopped me and said "I wanted to apologize to you." I stood there, waiting for some asshole comment or other. Then he said "I'm sorry I was such a jerk to you in school. You're pretty cool, and I'm sorry I didn't see that before." I saw him a few times after that (he was friends with my to-this-day very good friend John) and I hated him a little less. Still, what he said made me glow a little. The reason I am writing this blog is that I'm pissed. Frustrated, mostly, with myself that those people that I went to grammar school still affect me so much. I found out about the reunion party when I talked to JL, the one person I reconnected with from QAS. JL is good people. I found him on myspace early in 2007. We got together had some beers and we made each other laugh. I think we are friends again, which is great. Anyway, we were talking on the phone, and he mentioned that he had run into another one of the QAS people somewhere, B. B told JL about the party. JL hadn't gotten actually invited either. JL told me. He asked if I wanted to go. That ended up being the weekend that I went to Boston, so I had an easy out. I don't think I would have gone anyway. JL went. I haven't had the chance to hear how it was, I'll need to call him to find out. A thought: Really? Did they even try to locate everyone? I mean, my parents live in the same house we lived in when I went to school there, so it's not like they couldn't find a mailing address. Assholes. I really feel that they invited the same people that they hung out with 20 years ago. I'm assuming that reflects on how little they have changed or matured as people. I looked at some of their facebook pages, and I found a couple of pictures of myself on their pages. Do they look at these pictures and not even realize that there are other people in those pictures beside them and their friends? Why am I even in those pictures? I have no memory of this. I am really mad at myself for being so affected. Fact: I would not have gone had I been in town. Fact: I don't really want to ever see those people again. These truths being said, I don't know why I am so upset about this whole thing. Maybe I wish it had been my option to not go. For all of the strides I've made, I feel like this whole situation has knocked me for a loop. I know that I do make fun of myself quite a bit, and it is because I do it before someone else can - this is one piece of baggage I carry from grammar school. I just need to remind myself that all the good that I am, all the fun, and the cool, are also a result of them. I worked really hard to never be that girl again. I do still like myself a lot. This is a speed bump, a minor set back. I haven't thought about them in years, and I want to get back to that, I don't want to be thinking of them now. I just needed to get that off my chest. QAS people suck.

Update

O M G I knew it, I just knew it. The CDs are fantastic. I see what will be playing nonstop on my stereo this weekend....

A happy dose of awesome

So, I was going to just grumble about how tired I am. See, I had to go to this thing that I didn't want to go to, from which I didn't get home until 11:30ish. After which I woke up this morning with 7 minutes - 7 minutes - to get up, dressed, teeth brushed, out the door to go to work. However. Two awesome things happened yesterday. Maybe three. First: At the thing I didn't want to go to, there was a silent auction. I zeroed in on this Lincoln Square print. I had seen this print all over the place over the summer, but I just didn't buy it. I regretted not getting it, and when I went looking for it, of course, it was gone. Sigh. Well, there it was last night, up for auction, in a package with two bottles of wine (nice), two darling wine glasses, an embroidered Lincoln Square tote, and a tie with all of the Chicago neighborhoods all over it. I said to myself: "Self. I WANT THAT". So I bid. And bid. And was forced to bid again. AND I WON. Sure, is it all really worth $160? Dunno. Do I really have $160? Not really. But the print all all of the goodies are Mine, m i n e, MINE!! And, I am trading sister the tie for the sonicare toothbrush she won as part of an auction item. Sweet!! Second: I got home all cold and tired and excited with my winnings, when what to my wandering eyes should appear in my mail? Ok, yes, bills. But also......(this is a drumroll.....) an envelope from BillyRottenPilgrimMcDonald!!!! Oooooh. I opened it, and there are not one, but TWO CDs!!! And, as I recall, BPRM gifts music to those he likes. He likes me! He really likes me!!! I cannot wait to listen to them! For all of the things I forgot this morning, like my lunch, my water bottle, my phone charger- remember, 7 minutes from bed to car - I remembered to bring the CDs!! I am about to give them a listen! I already know two important things that make these CDs like gold a) The man has awesome/fantastic/extensive musical tastes and b) we have very similar taste in music. This is going to r o c k. Kinda third: I'm not going to lie. I did enjoy people telling me I looked nice yesterday. I wore a black dress, black tights, black shoes, awesome black and white headband and silver jewelry. Those that matter most (sister, sil1x) told me I looked nice, among others, and more said it more than once. I will admit part of the reason I looked nicer was I wanted the germans to know what they are missing out on, and that I could have represented them well, professionally and with style. Too bad for them, so sad. I might be a little inspired to dress/look a little classier in 09. Not sure how committed to that I am, we'll see. But it was nice to get compliments. A little bit of snark: I will admit to one snarky/bitchy moment last night. When one of the newly elected board members asked me if I will be attending the Bach concert this Sunday at the place that finds me unworthy, I said "No, I'm working a show at Old Town. They remain my first volunteering priority." and under my breath "they like me there". It may have been a little to soon for me to be there, I think. Ok, must go listen to the CDs. Have a lovely weekend. I hope it is warmer wherever you are. *Chicago current temperature? 18 degrees*

Quirky? Bleh.

I am not quirky. I know of a few folks who think, nay, pride themselves on being "quirky". I think they define themselves by going against the grain. What grain? Who's grain? What are you against exactly? They shop at thrift stores. I'm sorry you're broke - stop drinking so much, you could at least buy one or two items at, say, Target for the $$ you spend on booze. They decorate weird. Ikea - ever heard of it? Beats the hell out of old garbage picked milk cartons. They look down upon those who either a) aren't quirky like them or b) don't put them on a pedestal for being so gosh darn quirky. Get over yourselves. You know, they think they are unique. Let me fill you in on something, when all of their friends, and a lot of the people they associate with look Just.Like.Them, show me what is so unique about that. To each their own I guess, but they annoy me. Me? I'm just me. A little of this, a smidge of that. A dash of that other over there. Never the same way too much of the time. I'm a diamond - too many facets to count. But a regular, plain old diamond. Who'd buy a quirky diamond anyway?

Meh

My weekend. Sigh. A varied and interesting state of affairs. Upside: Lauren!! Got to see her Saturday night, and Sunday! Friday night dinner at Olive Garden (I don't care, I love it there!) with my sister, Sil1x, and Bubbles. Met new best friend. Heard some wonderful news. Brunch at Tweet OMG so freakin' good! Lovely party for Shannon's birthday. Fantastic foods, beer, free parking, watching La Pequena and Dan Band videos on UTube. Started back again at FatCamp (oh, uh, AKA Weight Watchers) Saw Sil1x AGAIN on Sunday! Not-quite-red but scrumptious red velvet cupcakes. Made from scratch. Little hot fudge sundae made with peppermint ice cream, meant to make me feel better. Downside: Measurable snow. Self-important assholes. "Made of Honor" not so good, even with McDreamy and McKidd. Missing Charlie a lot on the weekends. People drank my beer. Started back at FatCamp (W2) Got some startling news. Though we begged and pleaded, Lauren went back to Boston. Didn't finish reading the book I was sure I'd get through this weekend. Nailpolish put on yesterday, already chipping. People dragging me into the extremely childish bull shit. A bunch of germans let me know that I am not good enough to represent them. So, yeah. Some big highlights, and some sucky lows. What can you do? TGIM? Does that work? Thank God it's Monday? We'll see.... ***Happy Birthday Shannon!*******

Yippee! It's here!

Just got the official word, and I couldn't be happier! For those of you in the listening area of "greater Chicagoland" 93.9 is now officially the Holiday Light!!! Yep, they flipped the switch at 8:30 this morning. All Christmas music all the time, until like midnight 12/25 or something. Doesn't matter when it ends, it's on right now! George Michael is crooning all about "Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, you gave it away...." as I type this! *for those of you who aren't familiar with the Holiday Light, they are notorious for starting Christmas music on November 1st for the past few years. They didn't do it this year, and I for one have been anxiously waiting to see when they would start.