Friday, January 16, 2009

Aaarrgggh

I know that I have been complaining a lot about the weather, but I think I'm just going to keep at it. See, it's what's on my mind, and it's a whole lot of all there is right now. I don't really think that people not from here get it. I mean really get it. See, your snot? It really does freeze up. In your nose. Every time you go outside. I currently have two matching red/purple lines across my wrists. Why you ask? Well, they are from the parts of my arms that weren't covered this morning while waiting for the train. Nope, not kidding. What are plastic lawn chairs good for? Mainly one thing - to mark your spot! Even the mayor said that it's ok to do it. You dug it out, it's yours until the snow goes away - you know, like mid-April. My face looks sunburned. So do a lot of Chicagoans. Have we been vacationing? Nope. It's windburn. It hurts, it cracks, my skin feels weird. It's pretty unavoidable, and not at all cute. It also doesn't cover up really well with makeup. I can't feel my nose, even when I'm inside. I think it's going to fall off. I refuse to wear a ski-mask. So shoot me. Did you know that they light the train switches ON FIRE when it's this cold?!? I didn't! So, I'm on the train the other day, and as we're approaching the station, there's all these fires everywhere - and no one seems concerned but me! I asked this chick, and she said "Oh, yeah, they light the switches on fire so they don't freeze." ON FIRE. That's hard core people!! It's colder in Chicago right now than it is in the North Pole. And colder than Alaska. No, I'm not making it up. Look it up if you don't believe me.

4 comments:

Mendacious D said...

Hot chocolate and Bailey's.

Hey, at least the morning commute will be more interesting.

onepretentiousbastard.com said...

I have noticed the following trend in our fair city: People drive like BIGGER assholes when it is cold. For this reason ,I believe we should save the polar bears by having them come to chicago for the winter. Then they can eat the jerks that make my commute nasty.

Kathleen said...

that is so crazy. It's true I can't really understand.

It is especially crazy when I remember being in Chicago this June and I thought I was going to die from heat stroke and I took four showers in one day.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

I am so sorry that your great city is under snow seize.

Here's to a big bonfire to melt the whole thing away and bring out spring flowers!