Friday, January 23, 2009
Last Night.
Sometimes when I talk about VonMom, people think I am either exaggerating, or being too harsh.
I love my mom.
However.
Here's what happened last night when I popped over to VonParentsHaus for a visit.
Me: "Blah blah blah, cousin blah blah"
**both parents simultaneously interrupt me to say stupid and incorrect things that they think I might say next, when I was actually trying to fill them in on something totally new***
Me: "SIGH!! No! That's not at all what I'm talking about!"
Yes, I was irate
VonMom: "Do we piss you off?"
VonDad (God, I seriously LOVE my dad!!) kinda didn't say anything.
I changed the subject.
A little while later just between VonMom and I:
Me: "So, to answer your previous question, you piss me off when I am talking and you interrupt me and talk over me. All. The. Time."
VonMom: "Well, you finish people's sentences and stuff."
Me: "Really? Like when you tell me the same story three or four times? And I finish it for you? Like then?"
VonMom: "Well, you just get so angry."
Me: "Because you interrupt me. You've been doing it forever. It pisses me off."
VonMom: "You get so angry."
Me: "Because it's rude. You don't let me speak."
So, we both drop it.
Drum roll please!!
Not five minutes later:
VonMom: "I bought you something."
Me: "Oh."
VonMom: "You're probably going to get pissed. And hate it."
Me: "Great. Give it to me."
VonMom: "It's a book."
Me: "Mmmhm."
VonMom comes back in the room and hands me..............
'Finally Thin: How I lost 200 Pounds! And you can too!'
Me: "You know, if I lost 200 pounds I would be dead, or at least really freaky looking."
VonMom: sigh
Me: "Yeah. Great."
VonMom: "I thought you would find camaraderie in it."
Me: "Camaraderie? What?!?"
VonMom: "Well, I just read the jacket. It's uplifting you know."
Me: "A fat book. Thanks."
VonMom: "Are you going to read it?"
Me: "I'll take it home."
VonMom: "You hate it. You're pissed."
Me: " Mmmhm."
VonMom: "Do you want a cookie or donut before you go meet your friends for pizza?"
None of the above is embellished. I didn't add anything for an entertainment factor.
This is my life. This is my mother.
Said angrily "You get so angry!"
Said lovingly "You're fat. Want some cake?"
Anyone want a book written by some formerly fat chick?
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6 comments:
{{{{{Von}}}}}
I have an AG Momma like that. It can be so frustrating sometimes, can't it?
And yes, VonDad is awesome. His love for you knows no limits. I saw it that day I met him. I would kill to have that.
Good lord. This could be a TV show. Von's Life.
As for the prejudiced fat book, I'll take it. When we run out of fuel during the zombieapoclypse, I'll burn it.
oh man,Von. One year about +25 pounds ago, for CHristmas my dad gave me a fat KIT - notebooks, mixes, exercise videos, chews, powders, vitamins, meal plan books, etc. all in one bag. I was dumbfounded and really really pissed. He saw this on my face and said, "What. It was like 300 dollars!"
I totally hear you. I am all for people supporting the efforts of others to lose weight, and it's hard not to want everyone you know and love to be happy and healthy, but you'd think there would be a better way...I know I've been on both sides of the problem.
I like the new look of the blog, by the way!!
What's worse than the gift is the complete surprise that you would take offense.
Imagine if a dad gave his son that Enzyte penis growth stuff, and when his son got offended, the dad said "what, I thought you'd want to make your small penis bigger."
Thanks everyone. I appreciate your support.
I'm providing an example, so the next time someone says I'm hard on VonMom, y'all will know where I'm coming from.
ouch, that is so irritating.
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