Friday, January 23, 2009
Sometimes when I talk about VonMom, people think I am either exaggerating, or being too harsh. I love my mom. However. Here's what happened last night when I popped over to VonParentsHaus for a visit. Me: "Blah blah blah, cousin blah blah" **both parents simultaneously interrupt me to say stupid and incorrect things that they think I might say next, when I was actually trying to fill them in on something totally new*** Me: "SIGH!! No! That's not at all what I'm talking about!" Yes, I was irate VonMom: "Do we piss you off?" VonDad (God, I seriously LOVE my dad!!) kinda didn't say anything. I changed the subject. A little while later just between VonMom and I: Me: "So, to answer your previous question, you piss me off when I am talking and you interrupt me and talk over me. All. The. Time." VonMom: "Well, you finish people's sentences and stuff." Me: "Really? Like when you tell me the same story three or four times? And I finish it for you? Like then?" VonMom: "Well, you just get so angry." Me: "Because you interrupt me. You've been doing it forever. It pisses me off." VonMom: "You get so angry." Me: "Because it's rude. You don't let me speak." So, we both drop it. Drum roll please!! Not five minutes later: VonMom: "I bought you something." Me: "Oh." VonMom: "You're probably going to get pissed. And hate it." Me: "Great. Give it to me." VonMom: "It's a book." Me: "Mmmhm." VonMom comes back in the room and hands me.............. 'Finally Thin: How I lost 200 Pounds! And you can too!' Me: "You know, if I lost 200 pounds I would be dead, or at least really freaky looking." VonMom: sigh Me: "Yeah. Great." VonMom: "I thought you would find camaraderie in it." Me: "Camaraderie? What?!?" VonMom: "Well, I just read the jacket. It's uplifting you know." Me: "A fat book. Thanks." VonMom: "Are you going to read it?" Me: "I'll take it home." VonMom: "You hate it. You're pissed." Me: " Mmmhm." VonMom: "Do you want a cookie or donut before you go meet your friends for pizza?" None of the above is embellished. I didn't add anything for an entertainment factor. This is my life. This is my mother. Said angrily "You get so angry!" Said lovingly "You're fat. Want some cake?" Anyone want a book written by some formerly fat chick?